I am soooo frustrated with my body! I do squats but my ass seems to get SMALLER. I do sit ups but I'm short waisted and have a deep belly button so no matter you flat I get my stomach it still LOOKS pudgy. High hip bones and a small ass make me look like I have a muffin top permanently. I have skinny legs. I can't gain weight any where I'd actually want to gain weight. It seems like I only lose it where I don't want to lose it. Dancing doesn't help, running doesn't seem to help... and I currently can't afford a decent diet. I don't even want to go around my boyfriend's family because all his grandma tries to do it convince me to eat more. She thinks I need to GAIN weight... what the hell is with people who aren't in the industry thinking we need to GAIN WEIGHT?!?!?!?
I think I'm just frustrated from being out of work. I hate feeling stagnate. It's like there's always something holding me back, whether it's my body or lack of transportation or injury. I am supposed to audition for a reality show tomorrow and it looks like it's just not going to happen. I live WAY out in the country (almost an HOUR from the fucking city.) and have no car due to it being totaled. I feel like success it so close yet sooooo far away. I've got a lot of really cool projects coming up, but if I can't drive to them, then they aren't going to happen.
Sorry, I think I threadjacked my own post. Oh, and by the way I just got on depo provera last week and I think it's making me moody and depressed. It also makes me want to eat more, which is another reason I don't want to be around people who try to make me eat more! I feel so sluggish being away from dancing. I've been dancing for 30-40 minutes each night and doing crunches etc but it's just not the same. I want to lose exactly 5 lbs. from my waist, not my ass.



On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.
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. All this after I spent half my income tax refund fixing it just a month earlier....Please know I can sympathize with that. Sounds like you need to just get away somewhere for a while....just a suggestion? I hope things get better for you

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