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Thread: hiding the truth from him

  1. #1
    Member mickey10's Avatar
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    Dizzy hiding the truth from him

    so i auditoned about a month ago, and came home and told my fiancee.
    he seemed shocked, and asked, "did you take off your panties?"
    i completely lied and said, "oh no, just my top". that was a total lie because it's a nude club. anywho, he wasn't angry he was just kind of shocked and i think that he was a little bit sad that i was onstage naked.
    a couple weeks later he told me that i can do it for a little while if i just don't tell him that i'm doing it. so that's what i've been doing. i just say, "i'm going to so and so's" and then i come home around one or two am.
    i don't want to hide the truth from him... and i know that he knows..
    i mean, HELLO it's obvious, right? i just needed to really vent that out.
    i realize that i'm basically choosing stripping over him, but i don't really want to deal with that. i want to do it i like it. another downside is that at my second job, i am a bit grumpy when i work there because i feel like i could be doing something better with my time.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: hiding the truth from him

    idk i think if this is the only way he can handle it, it is much more mature than the way some boyfriends handle it.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


  3. #3
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: hiding the truth from him

    Quote Originally Posted by mickey10 View Post
    so i auditoned about a month ago, and came home and told my fiancee.

    ...... Im sorry why would you do that w/o letting him know first? You two are getting married and it seems like there is no trust or communication.. Are you two even happy?


    he seemed shocked, and asked, "did you take off your panties?" i completely lied and said, "oh no, just my top". that was a total lie because it's a nude club.

    ..... You already gave him the impression that its a bikini or topless club. What happens when he fins out that its a nude club?

    anywho, he wasn't angry he was just kind of shocked and i think that he was a little bit sad that i was onstage naked.

    ...... No shit.. You went behind his back. You should be lucky he did not break up with you.

    a couple weeks later he told me that i can do it for a little while if i just don't tell him that i'm doing it. so that's what i've been doing. i just say, "i'm going to so and so's" and then i come home around one or two am.

    .......... Why not? He is probably still upset for what you did behind his back, how do you know his still has trust, love or any opinion of you now?

    i don't want to hide the truth from him... and i know that he knows..i mean, HELLO it's obvious, right?

    .... You're already hiding that its a nude club.. He does not want to deal with the reality of you being a stripper and wont take it for longer.. as he said for a little while.

    i just needed to really vent that out. i realize that i'm basically choosing stripping over him, but i don't really want to deal with that. i want to do it i like it.

    ..... You are picking stripping over him, you went behind his back, seems like you two have no trust in each other, and I honestly dont see how you two can drag into marriage.
    ......

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    Default Re: hiding the truth from him

    That's how some guys deal, respect that's how he deals with it and don't lie to him anymore if he asks you about it. *big hug*

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    Featured Member pixierocksonthepole's Avatar
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    Default Re: hiding the truth from him

    I would feel so weird not telling him where I was going. Isn't that more of a safety thing instead of just complete ignorance? Don't give him details but tell him where you are.





  7. #6
    Member mickey10's Avatar
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    Default Re: hiding the truth from him

    true i'm thinking that i should use a code word or something..
    for example, "i'm going to go hang out with my friend mxxxxxx"
    yes he did know before hand that i was going to audition, he just didn't know when.
    i think it's more of my own shame that i have got going on, rather than him being angry at me. he accepts this perfectly fine when we sit down and talk about it. he says i'm not doing anything wrong and i shouldn't feel bad.so i realize NOW that it's just me...
    thankyou guys for your input, hugs and advice.=]

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    Default Re: hiding the truth from him

    This just screams bad news. He needs to know where you are in case of emergency. Pure and simple fact.

    Also I understand the shame. I feel it myself some days. But sounds like you guys need to sit down and pow wow to reconcile these feelings, or this is going to end up a huge fucking mess.

  9. #8
    Member **Sincerely**'s Avatar
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    Default Re: hiding the truth from him

    Well i seems like he alreadys knows i mean u come home late and on top of that u come home with $$$ i hope lol its not like ur lieing to him and if he cant take it then u have to do whats best for u what ever that might be ,dancing or staying with ur man i mean u have to do what makes u happy girl wish u the best.....

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    Featured Member Stripper Hacks's Avatar
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    Default Re: hiding the truth from him

    Dump the guy, dump the job. Go back to school and find a guy who doesn't have an issue with you making money.




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    Default Re: hiding the truth from him

    I was engaged to a guy who said "not no but fuck no" to me being a waitress in a strip club. (Note the past tense, btw). Anyway, his logic was "If you become a waitress, you'll become a stripper, and if you become a stripper, you'll become a crack whore." And in his fucked up little head, that was the way it worked. Pure and simple.

    Your fiance does not sound like my ex. He sounds like he probably has some jealousy issues (and a lot of guys do. A lot.) But he's working through them in his own way. He wants you to be happy, otherwise he would not swallow his feelings and tell you that it's okay and you shouldn't feel bad. So be honest with him as much as possible, keep the lines of communication completely open, and for christ's sake, tell him (even if its with a code word) where you will be. Because if you don't come home one night, he's not going to know where to tell the cops to begin looking.

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