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  1. #1
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default ...........................

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    Last edited by Kisca; 06-26-2010 at 08:42 AM.

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    Featured Member Christany's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this a relationship or Am I fooled?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    he told me does not want kids or doesnt want to be married since all it is a piece of paper.
    Out of curiosity, are his parents divorced/separated/absentee in any way? Sounds like maybe there's some trauma there affecting his current ability to be emotionally close, even in a 2 year relationship. Like so close but so far away?
    Quote Originally Posted by markx View Post
    I'd have to have a "4 simease twin strippers gave me head and then lite themselves on fire" story to blow anybody's mind here.

  3. #3
    Featured Member Christany's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this a relationship or Am I fooled?

    ^^
    Hmm, maybe he's somewhat upset about that, like fear of loss or not wanting to get too "involved" in case of it later falling apart. There could be other stuff too that I don't know about.
    Quote Originally Posted by markx View Post
    I'd have to have a "4 simease twin strippers gave me head and then lite themselves on fire" story to blow anybody's mind here.

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this a relationship or Am I fooled?

    It's a relationship but one without much of a future. If you disagree on the most basic things like marriage and kids you are just wasting your time, at 19 things like marriage and kids shouldn't really be at the forefront anyways but don't fool yourself into thinking this is the one.

  5. #5
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this a relationship or Am I fooled?

    ^Agreed, at 19 marriage should be the last thing on your mind, and you shouldn't bring it up. That can seriously alienate a man and make him feel pressured. 2 years is no time at all to be in a relationship - you don't need to even consider children right now.

    However, you haven't actually kissed him in the last month? Yeah. It's over.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Default Re: Is this a relationship or Am I fooled?

    Just one thought. Someone who is disrespectful to his own mother probably won't make a very good husband.

  7. #7
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this a relationship or Am I fooled?

    ^As a small aside - who says she deserves respect? She may very well be crazy behind closed doors and hard to tolerate. 2 years of being with someone doesn't give the OP the full 28 years of experience the dude has of being that woman's son. My partner is disrespectful to his mother all the time, but I don't think that has any bearing on how good a partner he is. I'd be more worried about the OP dating a pushover that hands respect out like M&Ms.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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  9. #8
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    Default Re: Is this a relationship or Am I fooled?

    Why do you see treating others with respect as being a bad thing? If someone is mean or disrespectful to you or others, I can understand not treating that person with respect, but otherwise, why would you think it is wrong? When you're working at the stripclub, would you want the customers there being disrespectful to you instead of "handing you respect like M&M's"?

  10. #9
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this a relationship or Am I fooled?

    ^Did I say being respectful was a bad thing? Can you quote me on that? 'Cause I can't see it.

    I'm saying if a person does not deserve or merit respect, if a person does not respect you back, if a person actively does things that lessens the amount of esteem you hold them in - then you should not respect them or treat them as such. We have no idea what his mom is like, she could be a total asshat and not deserve his respect. So, I say, I don't think that has anything to do with how he measures up as a husband.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

  11. #10
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this a relationship or Am I fooled?

    It seems a little weird he spends every weekend, all summer long, away from you.


    Don't be afraid of being alone. It can be very good sometimes.

    For one thing, then you don't have to worry about how people will react to whatever it is you want to do, whenever you want to do it, etc. Moving to somewhere completely different is never out of the question. There are many, many benefits.

    And from some of the things you have said, you might find it a lot easier than you think. You're afraid of being bored if you are single, but this guy is boring hell out of you.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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  13. #11
    Veteran Member DancingDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this a relationship or Am I fooled?

    IMO dont stay with him just because you are a afraid of being single. I got married young and it didnt end well, it just made a bad relationship worse. I sugest waiting until after college to think about kids and marriage. He is 27 years old and lives with you, it seems childish and selfish to me for him to leave you and go out with his friends every weekend.

    Getting married will not change this and he will probably expect to go out solo every weekend even if you were married. Can you deal with that? If not, I think both of you should have a long talk about what eachothers expectations are in the realtionship. Both people need to give 100%.

    Its not as hard being single and living alone as you think. You tend to rediscover yourself. But then again, Iv always been a loner and comfortable doing things on my own. I think it could be good for you and help you realize what things are important in relationships.

    I dont think you are overreacting.

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  15. #12
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    Default Re: Is this a relationship or Am I fooled?

    I hate when people say marriage is just a piece of paper. For me at least, it's so much more than that.

    Unfortunately, at 28, I doubt you're going to be able to change his mind. There are exceptions, but not to be harsh- it doesn't sound like this is one.

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