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Thread: Everyone hates her and is warning me

  1. #1
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    Default Everyone hates her and is warning me

    So I'm a very friendly girl.
    I like to try to get along with everyone. I don't like drama and do my best to stay away from it.
    However, I think some drama is brewing and I don't know what to do.
    There's this girl at my club who everyone hates. They say she's a back stabber, not to trust her and to stay away from her. The thing is, she's never done or said anything to me.
    This other girl I talk to at work said that by me just talking to her at work, it makes me look bad.
    The thing is, I don't wanna NOT be polite to her or NOT talk to her because everyone else has a problem with her. That just sounds kinda fucked up to me.

    Then again, I know I can be too trusting.

    The weird thing is, the other night this girl gave me $40. I asked her what that was for, she said, "For being awesome".
    Is that like literally trying to buy my friendship??
    I've never had that happen in my 6 years of dancing.

    My husband met her and thinks this girl is nuts too. I like to think I usually have good intuition, but I don't see anything really wrong with her. She works hard at work, is a clean dancer. She's told me a few lies....nothing about anyone though. Just like, some of her stories don't add up.

    I dunno. It just seems fucked up to me to completely ignore a person because other people tell me to. Any advice ladies?

    Thank you!

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    Default Re: Everyone hates her and is warning me

    You can be polite at work, and casual, but I'd be on the look out. Clubs are not normally a place to make friends. If my husband was sketched out, I'd be inclined to believe him.

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    Default Re: Everyone hates her and is warning me

    If your husband has bad vibes I'd definitely wonder. If it's just other dancers I wouldn't think much of it. I look at it another way because I was the girl the other dancers hated. I didn't even know they hated me until my roommate (another dancer) told me things about them. I suspect they hated me because I was a clean dancer and I later found out most of the other girls were meeting guys after work.

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    Featured Member Kalligirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Everyone hates her and is warning me

    Carry yourself as if you were at a desk job, be polite, but do not engage. There is so much down time when you are a dancer, you tend to bond with people you normally wouldn't because it kills time to talk in the dressing room. Sometimes its better to sit in the corner and play games on the phone then to talk to other dancers. I actually am inclined to talk to dudes who I normally wouldnt, just so I don't have to deal with coworkers.

    If you feel you are getting involved in a no win conversation, or gossip, just politely excuse yourself and go talk to a customer.

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    Senior Member MsChaos's Avatar
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    Default Re: Everyone hates her and is warning me

    I agree. Just keep it simple.

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    Default Re: Everyone hates her and is warning me

    yup. ur right...there is no reason to not b nice to her but that doesnt mean u have to go over and beyond either. i would def b very wary considering u already kno she's a liar even if it is trivial things. that speaks volumes right there believe it or not.

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Everyone hates her and is warning me

    Yup as everyone else said. Keep it simple, casual, and an arms lengths.

    Who cares if everyone is saving shes a backstabber, I wouldnt be rude/mean to the girl, what for? Just distance is always nice and nothing personal or that would get you into trouble should be said to her or (any stripper lol). Just be vary of taking money from her, I know she just gave it away, but in the long run it could lead to trouble/

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    Default Re: Everyone hates her and is warning me

    I agree with the others. Be professional and respectful to her, but be cautious.

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    Default Re: Everyone hates her and is warning me

    maybe she is crazy, but crazy people can still be nice.

    in general, you shouldn't gamble anything you can't afford to lose anyways. you shouldn't trust girls in the club with info that could hurt you, whether people talk about them or not. you shouldn't share regulars. you shouldn't share hustle secrets you pick up.

    there's always that girl you should avoid, only no one says anything because they're all afraid of her. until you've been there a while, just be polite to everyone, but don't trust em further than you can throw em.

    if your manager is nice, talk to him/her. or a housemom or dj or someone who'll be straight with you. speak very vaguely about how there's a girl the other girls don't seem to like and how they think you should handle it. usually they'll know what you mean, and you can figure out more about what's really going on from their response than from anything any of the other girls say.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Everyone hates her and is warning me

    Here's my take on it. She sounds like a pathological liar, but a harmless pathological liar. Like, she likes to make up stories for attention, nothing bad or harmful, just things to make herself look better. You should still keep her at an arms length of course, and continue the polite professional course of action. Explain to the other girls that you are trying to be professional and you don't want any shit. I have had to do this before, I just tell them that I'm a nice person and I'm not going to be mean to someone for no reason. However, I am also not going to let them walk all over me.

    I once had a friend who was a harmless pathological liar... He 'ate lunch with Jack Nicholson', and 'Trent Reznor threw him a birthday party'. It was actually amusing to listen to his stories. I'm not saying befriend her or anything because she could very well be a for real crazy bitch! But I don't see any reason to be outright mean to her.
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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