Ok, well not super fat, ok not fat at all really but FEELING fat. My stomach is deffinately not toned right now. I'm on the verge of calling my stomach sloppy. I havn't cammed in 7 FREAKINS DAYS! My crunches don't seem to be doing anything, I HATE going to the gym, I was eating healthy for a while there and that went completely out the window this weekend... I'm in that mode where I am just feeling desperate. Usually I really like my body but right now I am just at that point where I want to save up for lipo and be done with it.
I love my legs, I have FANTASTIC legs, great arms, a pretty good bum, but I HATE my stomach. I always have. It has always been the bane of my existance and the continual pitfall of my ultimate self-esteem. Sounds rather dramatic doesn't it? lol. But seriously, if I could have a tight toned stomach I would feel like my body is perfect (for me).
So today I went out and did something that I had been toying with on and off, I picked up Hydroxycut Advanced, and a new bottle of Tonalin (obviously). That's right, desperate times call for desperate measures. And the crazy part is I'M A FUCKING WEIGHT LOSS COACH!!!!I motivate women EVERY SINGLE DAY to get their shit together, get off their fat asses and lose their weight with our weight loss program. But me? Fuck that, can't be bothered. How rediculous is that?
I mean yeah I lost 13 pounds on our program but it turned me into a right cranky bitch, my boyfriend almost cried with joy when I ditched the program one night and ate spinach dip and beer after three weeks of "regulating myself".
I don't want to get super skinny or anything (which is physically impossible with my genetic makeup, ghetto booty and 32H boobs, etc), but I DO want this stomach gone. I ate a bunch of crap today but starting tomorrow I think I'm just going to say fuck it and starve this weight off if I have to. I just can't handle this body image roller coaster right now. Ok by starve I mean fruit, veggies, lean protien.
I want to have a better body for camming. And if the bf and I ever break up I want to have a KILLER toned body for escorting. I want to be prepared for whatever steps I may have to take in the future. Not end up breaking up then have to spend 3 months trying to get my body into HDH working order.
The funny thing about my motivation is I say screw my health, I just want to be as hot as possible. I'm not doing this to have a "healthy well balanced lifestyle", I'm doing this because I'm bored and don't feel good about my body. I am fucking VAIN. I do not care.



Ok, well not super fat, ok not fat at all really but FEELING fat. My stomach is deffinately not toned right now. I'm on the verge of calling my stomach sloppy. I havn't cammed in 7 FREAKINS DAYS! My crunches don't seem to be doing anything, I HATE going to the gym, I was eating healthy for a while there and that went completely out the window this weekend... I'm in that mode where I am just feeling desperate. Usually I really like my body but right now I am just at that point where I want to save up for lipo and be done with it.
I motivate women EVERY SINGLE DAY to get their shit together, get off their fat asses and lose their weight with our weight loss program. But me? Fuck that, can't be bothered. How rediculous is that?
I mean yeah I lost 13 pounds on our program but it turned me into a right cranky bitch, my boyfriend almost cried with joy when I ditched the program one night and ate spinach dip and beer after three weeks of "regulating myself".
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but i know i should stop complaining and just work out more and ill see results. just saying you are most likely beautiful! women are always hard on themselves


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