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Thread: Well..im in love

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    Veteran Member Jenn1981's Avatar
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    Default Well..im in love

    But i dont think the feeling is reciprocated.
    Long story shortened: been with my guy for 3 months.
    All is going pretty good. We see each other alot, enjoy each others company, great sex life etc.
    I wouldnt say I "love" him but im very much fallin in love. A little more all the time
    So I should be happy right? Well the very thought almost sickens me.

    I just dont think his feelings are where mine are at the moment.
    I could be wrong but I feel like if the relationship were to end today, he would probly just shrug it off and be fine.
    I dont know why I tihnk this way, I just get frustrated cause he really is not good with expressing his emotions. Oddly enough most of the guys ive dated were quite in touch with that side of themselves. I feel like im dating the sterotypical male. Tough, loud, neanderathal-ish.. etc.
    And as much as I enjoy most of these traits the one i cant stand is the lack of emotional communication.

    To be fair to myself I am majorly pms-ing, which always effs up my logical thought process. I just found myself really sad today thinking that I might be putting time into a dead end relationship(nothing is guaranteed i know that) but i just wish we could communicate a little more effectively.

    Any advice/insight.

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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    Since you know you're PMSing (which puts you way ahead of me lol), I would wait until the PMS goes away and see if you're still feeling this way. If you are, then we'll have to think of something to do. It's tough to have conversations with stereotypical males because they don't like talking about emotions...they think it makes them look weak or effeminate. So my advice would be to not say anything until you're done with the PMS.

    Anyone with advice on what to say to him if the feelings should persist??

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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    3 months is way too early to worry about this. Some people it takes years to really fall. I know how you feel because I love someone and not sure how he really feels (we aren't sleeping together). All men are like this, doesn't matter whether they are the neanderthal or not (my guy is not).

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    Veteran Member Jenn1981's Avatar
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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    yeah I know 3 months is really too soon for me to being my obsessive trip.
    ive been in a few relationships, most of which lasted well over 2 yrs, one lasted 5 yrs.
    And i recall ALL of those guys saying I love you within the first 3 months. Not that it matters cause I dont want anyone saying anything insincere to me. I just didnt know if this was normal or not.

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    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    ^^This. I mean honestly I couldn't imagine falling in love that quickly. Some people just take a while to get to that point. I'd just relax and not stress over it. If you are worrying about it then he will more than likely pick up on the fact that something is troubling you. Plus you already know you are PMS'ing and dang that can seriously mess with your emotions.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Veteran Member Jenn1981's Avatar
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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    ^^your right. I AM over-reacting.
    Its been over a year since ive been in a relationship. Im 28, and frankly im tired of dating. Im tired of starting over. But despite this, im pretty picky and I CAN be single and would rather be single than be wasting time in a bad relationnship.
    I feel like this is a good relationship tho. I guess the whole i love u thing bothers me but only cause this is the longest ive ever gone without saying it to someone. But maybe thats not a bad thing after all.

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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    Jenn, many will disagree with me, but this is why one should wait to sleep with a guy (unless it's strictly FWB). Too many women sleep with a guy early, fall in love, then realize he's only into it for sex.

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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    Jenn, many will disagree with me, but this is why one should wait to sleep with a guy (unless it's strictly FWB). Too many women sleep with a guy early, fall in love, then realize he's only into it for sex.
    Agreed.

    This might sound really bad but I believe in the 90 day rule and you gave it up way before 90 days.
    All you can do is hope for now.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    According to Steve Harvey's "Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man"

    women should wait 90 days before they give up the "benefit package". If Ford Motor Company can make people wait 90 days for theirs, we should be able to do the same, since what we have is the be all, end all of benefit packages. It is the reason men wake up in the morning.

    amazing book!

    Conclusion: you should have waited you would have gotten to know him a lot better in those 90 days

    I agree that it takes more than 3 months to REALLY fall in love. I think you're just being obsessive.

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    Veteran Member Jenn1981's Avatar
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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    I SHOULD of waited? Umm ok.
    I have not one regret about having sex before the 3 month mark!
    Sure id know him better but hey, i like sex. 90 days without it when im in a relationship seems torturous. But hey more power to those who can

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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    I was just saying... you should have waited to get to know him better.
    Maybe not "90 days" ... not a lot of ppl can do it but I've done it.
    Now all you can do is hope that he feels the same.

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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    Having sex too early does cause problems and too many people don't realize this. Trust me on this, I slept with a few guys I thought I was in "relationships" with, and guess what? Though we were dating a few months he didn't think we were serious. When you add all the people doing this and the people they slept with, you are talking thousands of people.

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    Veteran Member Jenn1981's Avatar
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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    . My longest relationship lasted 5 yrs and we had sex after 1 month. I dont buy into this crap that had i of waited another 60 days that maybe me and that boyfriend would of lasted longer or had a better relationship.
    My last relationship lasted about 3 yrs and we had sex after 2 weeks. Had i of not broken up with him, he would of gladly married me! But he wasnt the one for me. Had I of had sex with him on date 1, 2 or 23 wouldnt of made any difference in his feelings.

    either way, my current issue with my current boyfriend is not about sex.
    yes we have good sex but my issue is not about sex. its actually ALL about me and my obsessing. which as the day has gone on ive realized is pretty silly.

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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    Having sex too early does cause problems and too many people don't realize this. Trust me on this, I slept with a few guys I thought I was in "relationships" with, and guess what? Though we were dating a few months he didn't think we were serious. When you add all the people doing this and the people they slept with, you are talking thousands of people.
    I agree with this. It's not ok but yet a lot of women continue to do it. A man will not take your seriously if you sleep with him within a week of meeting him. Yes I know people that got together on the first night and have been married for years ..that is rare. This is how men think : Easy come.. Easy go.

    if you can sleep with him so quick whats stopping your being just as fast with other guys. This is how guys think.

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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    Quote Originally Posted by malayataylor View Post
    I agree with this. It's not ok but yet a lot of women continue to do it. A man will not take your seriously if you sleep with him within a week of meeting him. Yes I know people that got together on the first night and have been married for years ..that is rare. This is how men think : Easy come.. Easy go.

    if you can sleep with him so quick whats stopping your being just as fast with other guys. This is how guys think.
    It took me years to find this out and I wish I had learned earlier. I know women often say it's a double standard, and it is, but it's the way it is. I was talking about this to my mom awhile back and she told me she got all these guys who wanted to date her because she wasn't sleeping with any guy. I believe she lost her virginity on her honeymoon (according to her) and my parents have been married almost 42 years.

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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenn1981 View Post
    . My longest relationship lasted 5 yrs and we had sex after 1 month. I dont buy into this crap that had i of waited another 60 days that maybe me and that boyfriend would of lasted longer or had a better relationship.
    My last relationship lasted about 3 yrs and we had sex after 2 weeks. Had i of not broken up with him, he would of gladly married me! But he wasnt the one for me. Had I of had sex with him on date 1, 2 or 23 wouldnt of made any difference in his feelings.

    either way, my current issue with my current boyfriend is not about sex.
    yes we have good sex but my issue is not about sex. its actually ALL about me and my obsessing. which as the day has gone on ive realized is pretty silly.
    Jenn, I don't want you to think I am attacking you, but I see so many similarities between your life and mine. Like you I rushed into sex. I was SO sure the guys like me for me. Guess what? they didn't. At the time I figured they were the exception. They weren't. I am now 39, not as pretty as I once was and single. I love a guy (not sleeping with him) but am scared he'll never get over his issues. If he doesn't, I'm likely to die alone. I will be a spinster and I blame it on sleeping with a guy too soon. If I had found out they only wanted sex I would have protected my heart. You are young and think sex is no big deal to rush into, but trust me it is. If you want to be 39 and never married go ahead having sex too early.

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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    Quote Originally Posted by malayataylor View Post
    I agree with this. It's not ok but yet a lot of women continue to do it. A man will not take your seriously if you sleep with him within a week of meeting him. Yes I know people that got together on the first night and have been married for years ..that is rare. This is how men think : Easy come.. Easy go.

    if you can sleep with him so quick whats stopping your being just as fast with other guys. This is how guys think.
    Sadly, I agree with this because of experience....all but one guy was that way. And in the last relationship we focused on sex even though we were together a long time.

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    Default Re: Well..im in love

    ^ A real relationship shouldn't be about sex. What happens if your pussy turned green what would he do then? LOL

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