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Thread: Home Dancing

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    Default Home Dancing

    Seems to me like most dancers would never dance outside the club (to make more money) with a regular, even if they or the regular lives alone. It would surprise me if the majority of dancers don't feel like they can distinguish between a dangerous and non-dangerous regular. Do dancers tend to have a fear that they will turn into the person they pretend to be at work? Is keeping the dancing inside the club a way of keeping it from taking over your whole life?

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    Well, I've done private dancing outside the club to regulars I trusted (and I brought a bouncer). I've also done bachelor parties for regulars as well. Outside of that, no I kept it in the club or at parties, though I have given private dances to non club friends (people I knew out of work).

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    I don't lie inside of work... so maybe I don't fully understand you question? I'm not afraid of turning into anyone because I'm always myself.

    I've seen clients privately who I met inside the club, but it's rare. Mostly it's customers who see me on referral or found me on the internet. I screen them, & I have security.
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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    Well, I've done private dancing outside the club to regulars I trusted (and I brought a bouncer). I've also done bachelor parties for regulars as well. Outside of that, no I kept it in the club or at parties, though I have given private dances to non club friends (people I knew out of work).
    I think most people would feel safe in private (with no bouncer) with someone after they were fairly well acquainted with them, and the person seemed OK. So what I'm trying to understand is why most dancers seem to never want to be around a customer in private with no security. Do none of the custies seem OK to them?

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    [quote=Kylea2;1958562]I don't lie inside of work... so maybe I don't fully understand you question? I'm not afraid of turning into anyone because I'm always myself. /quote]

    The pretending part varies a lot from dancer to dancer. Most are fairly charming so they don't need to fake a different personality. But I get the impression that most dancers pretend to some extent that they are more horny and less picky about guys than they really are. And they pretend to have no interest in a sexually monogomous relationship.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by ilbbaicnl View Post
    The pretending part varies a lot from dancer to dancer. Most are fairly charming so they don't need to fake a different personality. But I get the impression that most dancers pretend to some extent that they are more horny and less picky about guys than they really are. And they pretend to have no interest in a sexually monogomous relationship.
    You can take that to the bank. Take a good look at them, and a good look at their customers....it kinda makes sense, don't you think?

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by ilbbaicnl View Post
    I think most people would feel safe in private (with no bouncer) with someone after they were fairly well acquainted with them, and the person seemed OK. So what I'm trying to understand is why most dancers seem to never want to be around a customer in private with no security. Do none of the custies seem OK to them?
    Well, in my case I've been alone with one customer (the guy I love) and have been since many years ago. I have danced for him privately (not for money though). The thing is in most cases you just can't know how a customer will act in person unless it happens.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    We all pretend in various situations in daily life - job interviews, sales, dates, parties etc. It doesn't necessarily mean we are pretending to be someone else, we are just choosing which aspects of our personality we present. Strippers are actresses to some extent but you could also describe it as accentuating their erotic side for the customer.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    I'm just careful with men in general. Being prepared for a bad situation is not the same as not being comfortable with them or believing them to be a good person. A danger point for us is that we've teased you mercilessly for days and then you get us alone. Sometimes men make mistakes because they were put in that bad situation.


    "I think most people would feel safe in private (with no bouncer) with someone after they were fairly well acquainted with them, and the person seemed OK." How safe would a normal woman feel if she went to someone's home just to tease them sexually for an extended period of time after already having teased them for a while, but refuse them sex. I've seen a lot of girls pull this routine naively and get hurt. Normal relationships lead to something else. Ours don't. It's a dangerous and bad situation. A bouncer makes it safer for both parties.

    Don't take it personally, it's just a preventative measure.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    I would never be a alone with any customer I met in a SC. I've heard way too many horror stories of bad things that happened to girls because they thought they new a customer enough to trust them. Just a few months ago I remember hearing about a serial killer in Vegas who drove a limo and used to give free rides to dancers. Everyone thought he was so harmless because plenty of girls had gotten rides home from him. Turns out that was all part of his plan to make himself seem trustworthy so none of the dancers would suspect him when someone did disappear.

    Maybe it makes me paranoid, but I just wouldn't be alone with any customer without security. You could also be raped and, being a sex worker, it would be that much harder to get justice. It's just not worth the risk to me.
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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    ^ For dancers who make money by suggesting they hook up a lot, and maybe at some point the customer could hook up with them, yes, that would make dancing alone with the custy more dangerous. But most dancers don't do this, and there are plenty of men who would never force sex on anybody under any circumstances. Although probably the odds of a SC custy forcing sex on a dancer if he had the chance is much higher. It's sounding like the answer is that dancers think that there are a lot of custies who seem OK, but are just trying to get the confidence of the dancer in order to do something bad to her.

    No I don't take it personally, I tend to pretty suspicious of people too. But most dancers are much better at reading people than I am.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by ilbbaicnl View Post
    Seems to me like most dancers would never dance outside the club (to make more money) with a regular, even if they or the regular lives alone. It would surprise me if the majority of dancers don't feel like they can distinguish between a dangerous and non-dangerous regular. Do dancers tend to have a fear that they will turn into the person they pretend to be at work? Is keeping the dancing inside the club a way of keeping it from taking over your whole life?
    I dont compromise my safety to make more $$.

    Do I have a fear of turning into the person I pretend to be? I think if you allow dancing to take over your life it will. I dont think dancing outside the club has anything to do with it. Most girls dont bc of safety reasons, or maybe they just dont wanna see the customers outside the club or deal with them.
    A lot of girls have other jobs, children, significant others on their lives, and the club is just a means to an end or extra $$, or maybe they dont have the time for it even if they wanted too. If a customer wants a dancer in his home, he should consider hiring a private party dancer or an escort.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by ilbbaicnl View Post
    I think most people would feel safe in private (with no bouncer) with someone after they were fairly well acquainted with them, and the person seemed OK. So what I'm trying to understand is why most dancers seem to never want to be around a customer in private with no security. Do none of the custies seem OK to them?
    Most people are raped by someone they know. These girls are being smart.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    Just to stress my point, rarely did I meet a customer otc. These were limited situations where they wanted to hire me, mostly for bachelor parties and the like.


    Quote Originally Posted by girlundressed View Post
    I'm just careful with men in general. Being prepared for a bad situation is not the same as not being comfortable with them or believing them to be a good person. A danger point for us is that we've teased you mercilessly for days and then you get us alone. Sometimes men make mistakes because they were put in that bad situation.


    "I think most people would feel safe in private (with no bouncer) with someone after they were fairly well acquainted with them, and the person seemed OK." How safe would a normal woman feel if she went to someone's home just to tease them sexually for an extended period of time after already having teased them for a while, but refuse them sex. I've seen a lot of girls pull this routine naively and get hurt. Normal relationships lead to something else. Ours don't. It's a dangerous and bad situation. A bouncer makes it safer for both parties.

    Don't take it personally, it's just a preventative measure.
    This is so true and to expand this, I am a safe person in most cases. When I did online dating I didn't go to a guy's house for the first few dates. Had a date gone further than a few dates I may have, but this never happened (bad luck with online dating). In most cases even when I did modeling I took someone with me. Strangely there was one time I went to a photographer's studio in his basement alone and this turned out fine. I shudder to think how lucky I was that he really was a photographer and not a rapist/murderer.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    I had one dancer who suggested we could do one hour champagne rooms at her place, instead of her club in MA. They were essentially escort sessions. I think the majority of dancers probably try to avoid escorting or appearing to be an escort.
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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    Ive done it probably more than a lot of girls. I usually try to arrange another dancer just for a little added safety if I don't know the guy, but generally it would be with a regular I know well. Obviously you never really know the person so they could do anything to you. I don't mind dancing for my (non-creepy) regulars in a hotel a) as long as they are clear on the rules b) money is upfront c) they understand that I still expect them to come into the club and spend money and that I may not always do private OTC dancing, its my choice d) they are paying substantially more ie. $500-$1K depending on the length of time.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by ilbbaicnl View Post
    Seems to me like most dancers would never dance outside the club (to make more money) with a regular, even if they or the regular lives alone. It would surprise me if the majority of dancers don't feel like they can distinguish between a dangerous and non-dangerous regular. Do dancers tend to have a fear that they will turn into the person they pretend to be at work? Is keeping the dancing inside the club a way of keeping it from taking over your whole life?

    If "home dancing" is not a euphimism for something else, then why would any guy want to do this? Now I suppose that us freaks come in all types and that there is a rare chap here or there that might just want lots of one-on-one dancer attention, but IMO if a guy is trying to arrange something like this then he is probably looking for something more.

    So assuming that the guy really just wants private dances for serious $$$ then it is no surprise that some dancers will answer "yes" provided that they can bring security or a friend or otherwise are certain that it is all you want.

    Seems to me that it would be better for all parties if you just spend the money ITC. If you want some privacy then there are lots of clubs that offer champagne rooms, VIP and other more private venues.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    ^guys want it where I work because in my state it is against the law to do LD. It's full nude table dancing in private rooms with absolutely no touching and tons of rules ie. Girls can't touch each other in double shows(not even boobs) and you can't touch your pussy, etc. Also cocaine use is rampant in Sydney so a lot of customers want a venue where they can snort comfortably. My club is rediculous strict on everything. Guys all know this and don't mind, still spend because the girls are pretty great there 9/10 are sweet, friendly, classy, educated and beautiful. But at the end of the day they'd all prefer a LD so they always try for it. As I said I make sure I'm very clear that it will only be a LD and they still cannot touch me.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    I've done the private dance thing OTC and so far have had no problems. All the ladies I've done this with have been long time regulars of mine, so building up trust was important to us both. The cost has always been no more than I paid in the club for normal dances and I still see the dancers ITC.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    My first question to people who request this is always "Why would you want me to dance for you privately? What would we be doing in private that we can't do here?" Usually at this point, they admit that they're looking for something that I'm not willing to give.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    ^guys want it where I work because in my state it is against the law to do LD. It's full nude table dancing in private rooms with absolutely no touching and tons of rules ie. Girls can't touch each other in double shows(not even boobs) and you can't touch your pussy, etc.
    Aaaah...your club sounds amaaaazinnng....

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    My first question to people who request this is always "Why would you want me to dance for you privately? What would we be doing in private that we can't do here?" Usually at this point, they admit that they're looking for something that I'm not willing to give.
    Well, from an economics standpoint, presuming mutual comfort and all that entails, it works out better for both parties in a private venue.

    The dancer doesn't have to pay any tipouts or house fees, and I don't have to pay a $10 valet fee, a $20 cover or $12 for a Grey Goose and soda.
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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    ^ Very true. But they rarely come back with that answer.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    ^ Well, to be frank, I'd never thought about the scenario at all until a dancer mentioned it while visiting a club on a road trip. It just never occurred to me.

    I saw her on stage and tipped her well enough to get her to my table. We clicked nearly immediately, and after I'd bought probably 15 dances in a row, she was heading on stage and I was heading for my hotel. She casually mentioned she did private dances for certain clientle and that if I was interested I should email her. During my next trip the following month, we reconnected and met over lunch.

    It was a great arrangement for both of us and lasted about a year until she retired from the business and moved away. I've been looking for a replacement since then, as it was pretty ideal in many respects, again, for both of us.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Default Re: Home Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Seems to me that it would be better for all parties if you just spend the money ITC. If you want some privacy then there are lots of clubs that offer champagne rooms, VIP and other more private venues.
    That really depends on where you work & who is getting the dance.

    Pro points of working independent:
    1.) Sometimes renting a place to work out of is less money each month than what a dancer would pay for house fees. For CO that is a major point.
    Studio apartments near downtown rent for as low as $350/mo compared to paying about $80 or more per work night. Plus, I can control how well kept it is & customize the music for my customers.

    2.) Some clubs try to force dancers onto schedules... even when there are no customers. When working independent you don't work unless a customer books you. That means more time to run errands or spend with family/friends.

    3.) I don't have to worry about listening for my name to be called from the rotation list. Many clubs don't have champagne rooms & there is no list "buy off", so you have to go on stage even if you are with a customer.

    4.) If the customer is shy or doesn't like the club environment then privates may appeal to them because they don't feel like everyone is watch, don't have to smell the smoke/alcohol.

    5.) Most states prohibit clubs from offering full nude dances where alcohol is served... but they allow private dancers to perform nude in the customer brings his/her own liquor.
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