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Thread: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

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    Default Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    I get reminded from time to time why I dislike men, and it can be really depressing.....

    A customer from a couple years ago with whom I have stayed in touch was texting me last night, saying how he wants to marry me, have me move to Miami with him, blah blah blah. The thing is, he's been saying this for a while, and I truly believe he is serious and would do it. When I first met him, he had a girlfriend who had his two year old son, he broke up with her to try to pursue a relationship with me. He's my father's age BTW. His girlfriend ended up calling me from his phone asking me who I was, etc. I of course told her everything, and they inevitably broke up. Well this was a year or two ago, and after I didn't respond to his text messages, he wrote, "I think I met a nice lady, you lost me". This guy became really obsessed after knowing me for a brief time, and his logic behind that was, "I've always wanted a blue eyed latina girl" Ummmmm, WTF? I am not a car for you to purchase and own, yet it seems like every guy I meet wants to purchase me like a doll to add to their collection, but none of them really give a fuck about ME, just how I look on the outside.

    Now this Dr. is calling me again, and he's married with three kids, but is inviting me to fly out today and take a vacation with him. What he said when we met, "You are exactly the type of girl I like, you look good on my arm" Once again, I am an accessory...

    Now this new guy blows up my phone all day.... he says his fantasy is to leave his GF, buy a mansion and marry me. Same fucking story. But then today on the phone, he was telling me how his girlfriend is so sweet and loves him so much, so I said, why don't you marry her? He then said, well what about you? I was like, I'm never getting married. And then he was like, LOL, I wasn't asking to marry you! I was saying how would you feel if we got married. I'm so sick of these fantasy mind games, and it's making me hate men more and more.

    My ex BF was like this too, we were actually in a relationship though, and he got engaged to another girl while we were together. I am tired of being a blow up doll. In the end his explanation was, "you're not marriage material" I am really sick of guys "falling in love" but really it's just with the nicely packaged concept of me, they don't give a fuck about me as a person. They just want a girl to make themselves look good. They only hang out with me as a way to improve their image and how people perceive them. When I ask a guy what is it that you love about me, I always get some whack response, like "well I love your eyes, your skin, your hair, your exotic look, blah blah blah" Well fuck you guys. Go home to your fat wives, you can't and will never have me.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    I thought the first thing all you girls learned in kindergarten was: Boys are stupid.

    Men use women...women use men. Now and then we find a good one, and really connect. C'est la Vie.

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by hockeybobby View Post
    I thought the first thing all you girls learned in kindergarten was: Boys are stupid.

    Men use women...women use men. Now and then we find a good one, and really connect. C'est la Vie.
    I really hate to agree but This is true.

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    Smiley Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I get reminded from time to time why I dislike men, and it can be really depressing.....
    Bottom line if he is cheating you don't want him. Not all men are the same. Hope you find a good one who respects and adores you totally.

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    LOL true. A man who is looking for some arm candy cant be mad when a woman squeezes every dime outta his ass. even exchange i think! and you never wanting to marry them will only challenge their fantasy for longer lol cuz once these type of men know they can have you its a wrap.these fantasy mind games are quite draining just look as shitty as possible everywhere u go and youll find someone who likes u for u LOL

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by TinkerBall View Post
    Hope you find a good one who respects and adores you totally.
    Maybe I'll win the lottery while I'm at it.... I'm not saying guys like that don't exist, but the chances of one of them wanting to be with a girl like me, almost impossible.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    i went through a similar period before dancing when everytime i liked someone and was game to get in a relationship they tried to make me a fuck buddy instead. it made me think i wish i was plainer and chubbier then i would know if someone is paying attention to me it would be for all the right reasons. just cant win can we?
    you gotta find somebody who loves you in trackpants with greasy hair clipping your toenails infront of the tv and at the club exploit the beauty thing for what its worth

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    Maybe I'll win the lottery while I'm at it.... I'm not saying guys like that don't exist, but the chances of one of them wanting to be with a girl like me, almost impossible.
    Try online dating with no picture in your profile.

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    Featured Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    Maybe I'll win the lottery while I'm at it.... I'm not saying guys like that don't exist, but the chances of one of them wanting to be with a girl like me, almost impossible.
    Are you kidding?? You are beautiful and intelligent what is there not to want?

    I mean no offense with what i am about to say, that is your problem right there.

    Alot of women have this problem at some point. I had that problem in my twenties. I dated band guys, oh god that was stupid. I dated married men because they were so good to me in the beginning. It always ended in heartache. I got to the point I felt like any thing I was attracted to was screwed up. After alot of soul searching I realized the real problem was me. I was attracted to emotionally unavailable men for the wrong reasons.

    I stepped back took stock of myself and raised my standards. I decided if i had to wait years I would for a man that met my standards. At the same time I worked on being the standards I wanted.

    Its a long process but once you change your view of yourself, what is out there, and how to find it ...... a whole new world opens up.
    Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. ~ Mark Twain


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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    It's not "men" that are your problem, it's "those men."

    Find better guys.

    I don't mean to sound mean, but look at these guys....same age as you dad, married, have girlfriends, baby mommas...why are you even considering men like this?

    Raise your standards, as the poster above me said. I'm amazed at what I see women settle for.

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    Maybe I'll win the lottery while I'm at it.... I'm not saying guys like that don't exist, but the chances of one of them wanting to be with a girl like me, almost impossible.
    The problem is not you, it is the way that most men view the women that they meet in a strip club. A dancer friend of mine who quite many years ago and is now happily married with two kids actually did meet her husband in a strip club. He was the one guy in a million who treated her like a human being and saw her as a woman first and a dancer second. Lol, well, OK, I was the other one in a million but I was married at the time.

    Anyhow...it's very difficult for most men to take you seriously when they see you for the first time walking around half naked and dancing on stage. You are a fantasy to them before they ever get to know the real you...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    So much of this reminds me of my 20's. I am so tired of the guys who have women they marry and those they fuck. Seems the more attractive a girl is, the more she goes into the fuck category (especially if she's a dancer or model). I've never understood this mentality because don't guys want attractive women or do they just want uglies?

    So many men suck. Its because of things like this I quit rushing into sex. Of course in my current situation it's the exact opposite but at least it gets rid of these guys who want a fwb. I don't know what else to tell you except you are beautifu and you should raise your standards.

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    Alot of women have this problem at some point. I had that problem in my twenties. I dated band guys, oh god that was stupid. I dated married men because they were so good to me in the beginning. It always ended in heartache. I got to the point I felt like any thing I was attracted to was screwed up. After alot of soul searching I realized the real problem was me. I was attracted to emotionally unavailable men for the wrong reasons.

    I stepped back took stock of myself and raised my standards. I decided if i had to wait years I would for a man that met my standards. At the same time I worked on being the standards I wanted.

    Its a long process but once you change your view of yourself, what is out there, and how to find it ...... a whole new world opens up.
    Great post!

    I see it all the time, men and women going for all the wrong things in the opposite sex, then giving up on ever being happy, etc., after getting burned a few times.

    I love this line:

    "At the same time I worked on being the standards I wanted."


    Guys who want eye candy first and foremost are trying to pump up their egos. Which generally means they are insecure, deep down, or they wouldn't need to be pumped up all the fucking time. Unfortunately society generally grants them the opposite status--since they have the eye candy they must be really cool studboys, just like on TV and the movies. So the stupid women fall for them. And on and on it goes.

    I have seen it from the inside and from the outside, winning the Game, and despising the Game. Shallow men and women seem to be drawn to each other, as far as I can tell, and wow there are a lot of them out there! I think you are beyond this, J.D., so try not to let it drag you down. Consider the source, and look for better men. Just like really good women, they are out there, they are just hard to see amongst all the dumb ones.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    It's not "men" that are your problem, it's "those men."

    Find better guys.

    I don't mean to sound mean, but look at these guys....same age as you dad, married, have girlfriends, baby mommas...why are you even considering men like this?

    Raise your standards, as the poster above me said. I'm amazed at what I see women settle for.

    True.. however, this also applies to me. No more losers for me.

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    Great post!

    I see it all the time, men and women going for all the wrong things in the opposite sex, then giving up on ever being happy, etc., after getting burned a few times.".
    I've seen this far more than I want to admit. Because I got burnt, it took me years to recover. The guy I love was severaly burnt. Will he recover? Only time will tell. Many people never recover and it's sad because these are always the good ones. The bad ones are never burnt.

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    Maybe I'll win the lottery while I'm at it.... I'm not saying guys like that don't exist, but the chances of one of them wanting to be with a girl like me, almost impossible.

    I agree with vamp that this is your problem. Because you think this way about yourself you take these nonsensical texts back and more personally than you should.

    A guy who you meet in a club is not likely to really get to know you as a person for any number of reasons, so if he is sending this stuff he is either playing in fantasy land or he may be a bit off center. Taking anything that these guys say in this vein seriously will just drive you nuts.

    IMHO I don't see why you shouldn't be able to find a nice guy in another setting.

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    Maybe I'll win the lottery while I'm at it.... I'm not saying guys like that don't exist, but the chances of one of them wanting to be with a girl like me, almost impossible.
    I gotta say - I practically felt physical pain at reading this. Of course you can find a good guy to love the whole you. I would think that my being a dancer you are limiting yourself because not alot of guys can stomach their women giving a lapdance to other men. If you lower your standards then you can find a guy below your "level" who would truly love you but tolerate the dancing. And they would not necessarily be your dad's age. :-D

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    The problem is not you, it is the way that most men view the women that they meet in a strip club. A dancer friend of mine who quite many years ago and is now happily married with two kids actually did meet her husband in a strip club. He was the one guy in a million who treated her like a human being and saw her as a woman first and a dancer second. Lol, well, OK, I was the other one in a million but I was married at the time.

    Anyhow...it's very difficult for most men to take you seriously when they see you for the first time walking around half naked and dancing on stage. You are a fantasy to them before they ever get to know the real you...
    Men that don't take women seriously are just that. I am not a stripper and have encounter this. These type of men project their fanasties on a woman because they dont want an emotional attatchment. They want the porno playing in their head. Usually they also project their guilt ie she is a whore, not clean enough to be wife materal, whatever because they don't want anything other then the physical. It is her fault he is this way to them.

    Which is why alot of times a woman believes this. You hear it enough you think it is true. When in reality it is the type of man.

    Can you tell I have been down this road one too many times? lol
    Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. ~ Mark Twain


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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    The thing is, I'm not looking for a relationship or a man in my life at all. I am doing just fine being single. BUT, it seems that certain guys meet me and just won't give up, they pursue me really hard, and it's always these types. It makes me sick to my stomach.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    I agree with vamp that this is your problem. Because you think this way about yourself you take these nonsensical texts back and more personally than you should.

    A guy who you meet in a club is not likely to really get to know you as a person for any number of reasons, so if he is sending this stuff he is either playing in fantasy land or he may be a bit off center. Taking anything that these guys say in this vein seriously will just drive you nuts.

    IMHO I don't see why you shouldn't be able to find a nice guy in another setting.
    I guess I am just taking the usual strip club freaks a little too seriously. I almost forgot how fucked in the head guys who spend money in strip clubs are.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    ^^^Heyyyy!!!

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    I guess I am just taking the usual strip club freaks a little too seriously. I almost forgot how fucked in the head guys who spend money in strip clubs are.
    Hehe...some of us are just looking for a good-time girl, not a girlfriend.

    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    I have been used as arm candy, but honestly the ONLY guy I had do this that didn't legitimately care about me was someone I should have known was BAAAD news. He knew my friend had a thing for him and used her to get close to me. Stupid, stupid me for believing someone like that could be honest.

    Up your standards and stay far, far away from anyone who is married, involved with someone, anyone you meet in the club or basically anyone who does anything even remotely shady. They aren't worth your time. You're better than that! Tell yourself that everyday and avoid the toxic ones.

    BTW - I find I get hit on a LOT at bookstores, libraries, and random coffee houses and while I'm not interested at this point in my life, they seem to be decent guys! The guys that hit on me at the gym or other obvious social outlets like a club are almost always complete losers. Then I think I have an advantage with men as I haaaate pretty boys and those are usually the douches. (Though not always, I've met a couple of really sweet ones.)
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    The thing is, I'm not looking for a relationship or a man in my life at all. I am doing just fine being single. BUT, it seems that certain guys meet me and just won't give up, they pursue me really hard, and it's always these types. It makes me sick to my stomach.
    The less you want them the more they will circle....It's like watching a scavenger bird circle a dying squirrel. Go on ebay and buy a cheap assed wedding gown and take pics of yourself in it with a ring of garish lipstick about 1/2 inch outside your lip line, then text it to them with an excited message about finding the perfect gown! If they don't run scared, blow their phone up for the next half hour asking to set the date, when they are buying their tux, what you are going to serve, etc. Should send em running for the hills and bonus, it'll provide a good laugh for you!
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Men. (sorry so long - rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    So much of this reminds me of my 20's. I am so tired of the guys who have women they marry and those they fuck. Seems the more attractive a girl is, the more she goes into the fuck category (especially if she's a dancer or model). I've never understood this mentality because don't guys want attractive women or do they just want uglies?
    I am convinced they all want uglies. Having been thrown in to the "lead on and fuck only" category by too many men.



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