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Thread: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

  1. #1
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    Default How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    So you're chatting w/ a guy out on the floor, maybe having a drink, occasionally punctuated by table dances; or maybe you're trying to build up to a closing line. Suddenly he shifts the conversation to something immensely depressing, like visiting children in the hospital burn ward, or wanting to die before age 60 so he doesn't have to see his kids die before him, or he's a soldier and WANTS to die in Iraq during his next tour. Basically death doom & gloom. Things that I find it really difficult to console people about, let alone deal with myself.

    Obviously the guy didnt come into the club wanting to drunkenly mull over depressing shit. He doesn't give the impression of the guy who "wants someone to listen", he just sort of inadvertently directs the convo that way cuz he can't stop thinking about it.

    What do you do?

    It's not a good time for a "hey that girl on stage has some hot boobs! Let me show you mine!" distraction. That's too insensitive.

    Then again if I just sit there nodding my head while the guy goes on and on I'm not really doing my job as an entertainer, am I? And I can't just sit there all night for free.

    Any good lines? Suggestions to lighten the mood without being insensitive or coming off as money-hungry?

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    God/dess britneyireland's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    How about, "I'd love to hear more about you...lets go to the VIP room where it's more quiet and I can listen better"

    Who cares what he's talking about ;P
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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    Good one! I've had trouble with this as well... Worked near a military base.
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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    Featured Member Stripper Hacks's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    Yesterday my customer did this!

    He got off track about his personal life, got all sad for a second, paused and said...

    "Let's go to the VIP".

    Okay.




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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    1) Listen to what he's saying, and act like you care (it's your job!)
    2) Comment, "Wow, that's really terrible. I'm so sorry." or whatever sympathetic comment is appropriate.
    3) Then pretend as if you're startling awake (don't make it too campy), and say "Wow, this is getting really depressing. Why don't we go take your mind off of this?" or "Wow, I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be distracting you from ___. Let's go focus on the reason you're here (VIP)" or similar.

    The key is to do this in a way that both respects what he's saying and acknowledges the need to re-focus his attention.

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    If he turns down VIP and dances, how does one leave without seeming insensitive and money-grubbing?

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    Him: "No thank you..."
    You: "Okay, well, I'd really love to sit here and talk, but my manager will kill me if I don't get back to work!" (even if your manager couldn't care less)

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    I use this all the time ^^^.

    "I see my manager watching me, can I take a lap around the room and then come back and say hi?"

    Then make SURE you come back and say hi. If they are truly awful, I come up behind them when they're not really expecting it, scratch their back or air kiss their cheek and say "hey sweetie" and keep on moving. Haha. Don't give them time to protest.

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    just a suggestion: i used to have a veteran customer who loved nothing more than to talk about things like being put on body collection detail and how the smell permeated the vehicles. i would always gently remind him that im a delicate girl and prone to nightmares/crying about such stories, could we please find something nicer to chat about? he was always very apologetic and understanding. sometimes vets slip back into that mode without realizing and you just have to be kind but firm about finding another subject.

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    i agree i would bring out the -im a delicate princess please do not crumble my delicate world with such scary sad things-

    sure i would feel sad leaving someone like that but you cant let them ruin your mood and act psychologist all night if they want to waste your time. go to a confessional and tell a priest i refuse to dwell over the horrible life of strangers if they want to be self indulgent about it and dont let me make them feel better.

    i spoke to someone like that once and i tried to lift their mood but he was just staring at the table ignoring me so i told him i understand the fact he has a problem but he doesnt need to be rude to me im only trying to help... and he apologised and bought a private show where he sat next to me and explained why he had such a shit day and gave me a chance to listen and talk

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    My first VIP ever, I held someone while they cried.

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    Quote Originally Posted by renderedhopeful View Post
    My first VIP ever, I held someone while they cried.
    Yeah, I get criers alllll of the time. They aren't even drunk, either.

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    this thread is hilarious to me.
    Id make zero $$$ as a stripper.

    lol

    I have people come into my chat room ready to spill there sad stories. All i say is...:
    i'm sorry that's happening to you...lets take our minds off of it...lets play baby.


    and if they just cant stfu....well....I leave them hanging on to their tears. Im a damn camgirl for crying out loud and i am not paid to be a psychiatrist... However I am Dr. Pussy if you care to hit the private button....haha.
    Last edited by pussyplayground; 07-30-2010 at 01:36 PM.

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    Yup. If they want therapy they gotta pay! Just like a regular therapy session... shit ain't free.
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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    I was Dr.Pussy yesterday at work! This guy came in all depressed after just moving to the area after breaking up with his cheating ex gf blah blah..he bought a ton of drinks, and dances, and tipped very well-and was a totally nice guy on top of it! SCORE This being a psychiatrist thing? I don't mind. As long as he's payin , I'll be a stayin..hehe

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    I agree with brit allow him to say whatever he wants and show interest in what he talks about but keep the night going with making money and dancing for him also. He needs to talk about what hes got on his mind and your willing to listen counts in making money. along the way the fact you show him your someone he can talk to will open him up to your dances and or the vip room. And him becoming a regualr with you because he felt he can open up! everyone wants to open up to someone! befriend him!

    Trust me he knows hes at a strip club and trust me he wants to see you naked in front of him or he would not come to a strip club period!

    Feed his sexual side and feed his need for a connection. Win Win!
    The world is full of anything you want if you just go take it! Just keep your hands off my kitty!

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    I love my cold-hearted hustlin sisters. I agree you should listen/befriend but only to a certain extent, if you are not making money you must move on at some point and IN A NICE WAY!!! I would have never thought of actually making it as if you have PIMP MENTALITY MANAGEMENT and what a damn good hustle it is. Since this is what they assume every sc is like, it is a great excuse out of any situation like this, when you realize you wont be able to hustle a guy and he just wants to "talk" "sorry my manager is watching me, must get back to "work" be back soon!" then you can move on if he doesnt want a dance. Or you can use it to hustle him to do a dance so you dont have to move on. If he doesnt pay u can use it, gracefully leave, hustle the room, and come back to him. If he is in the mood to pay then, great, if not you can gracefully move on again. However when you do leave this type of customer, he may very well get dances with another girl, and may pick up on other girls chatting with him longer then u did. If you make up an excuse like this but others dont and play into his pity stories, it will make you look bad and he will look at you like the callous gold digger. There are some guys who really do want the attention and are big spenders if they get it. There are some guys who play the pity role and pride themselves on getting the dancers attention all night for free. You must use your discretion to the max to determine if he one or the other, and if he is playing the pity role for a free shoulder to cry on or a free ear to listen you must move on.

    But what do u do if they claim they are the management's friend after you say this?!?

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    ^ Say, "then you probably know how strict he is about us working!" 99% of the time, the "I know management" line is either total BS or they only "know" management because they frequent the club.

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    Default Re: How to shift convo away from being super depressing?

    I like the direct approach myself. I just listen to them and say the right sympathetic thing, then I go quiet. After a minute I say something like, "OOOOOHHH-kay! I'm supposed to be cheering you up! Let's talk about something less depressing!" Lots of times they will then ask me for a dance, (and the get this dopy guilty look when they realize what they just said.

    I think that by allowing them to make the situation somewhat uncomfortable and then by rescuing them, I make them happy to go along with me. After all, I just saved their ass form a potentially embarrassing situation. Nobody where I work would believe that I am either to delicate ot hear sad stories, or that the boss actually cares whether I work or not.

    It they don't want a dance at that point, I just say that I hope things will get better for them, but I gotta get up and work. Most people are pretty understanding.


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