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Thread: Monogamy?

  1. #26
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by classyguy View Post
    OK

    I was trying to introduce a very particular fantasy. Its my fantasy, but I assure you that I'm not alone.

    The fantasy is that of a loving, strong, and free spirited woman - who is not jealous and who is not possessive. She is confident enough in herself to accept that her man might want to be with another woman - simply for sex, and for the sake of trying something different. She would expect the same respect and understanding from her partner for decisions that she makes in her life.

    If I find that woman in the real world, I'm going to pursue her with all I have. If I find that character in a strip club, sher's going to get all of my money (and maybe even send me to the ATM).

    Only you can decide if any part of that is something that you want to aspire to OTC. But, I'm suggesting that if you can at least master that persona ITC, you're going to make some money with it. IMHO it would make you that much more interesting and irresitible to a significant percentage of your customers.
    Ummm ya you don't need to cheat to do that. Its called an open relationship. I am not a jealous person at all. I encourage my hubby to check out other girls, flirt, pick them up... its no biggie for me. Some would describe us as "swingers" but I hate that word cause it makes me think of sagging uglies , fatties and 70's bush. Which I can promise you both of us have very very high standards. I didnt get what you are getting at because cheating is totally different. It is not ok. Its not the act or even the feelings I'd worry about. (I have strong feelings for a lot of my playmates), but the lying that is the problem. I don't want to be lied to and I want to be reassured that at the end of the day Im number one, Im the one he committed to as the primary relationship.

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by classyguy View Post
    OK

    I was trying to introduce a very particular fantasy. Its my fantasy, but I assure you that I'm not alone.

    The fantasy is that of a loving, strong, and free spirited woman - who is not jealous and who is not possessive. She is confident enough in herself to accept that her man might want to be with another woman - simply for sex, and for the sake of trying something different. She would expect the same respect and understanding from her partner for decisions that she makes in her life.

    Only you can decide if any part of that is something that you want to aspire to OTC. But, I'm suggesting that if you can at least master that persona ITC, you're going to make some money with it. IMHO it would make you that much more interesting and irresitible to a significant percentage of your customers.

    Ah, I see. So for you the dancer that ground you to a sticky finish would have been even sexier if she had told you, in a strong and confident manner of course, that she is in an open relationship with her husband.

    Got it and thank you sir, though I'm not sure that I would be looking in a SC to satisfy that particular fantasy, but to each his own I suppose

  3. #28
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    The status of a dancer should never be an item for discussion.

    I go into a club to have a few drinks, watch some girls on stage, and if they intrigue me enough, I will buy a private dance. Or two.

    At the end of the day, any time I spend in a strip club is a financial transaction. The relationship status of the dancer is irrelevant and as a good customer, I would never ask the question.
    I am not a number. I am a free man

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    Featured Member lemiwinks31's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by classyguy View Post
    She had me as close to popping as any dancer ever has (in my very limited experience). I'm sure she knew that too, because, unlike some guys with more sc experience, I haven't learned how to hide that very well.




    you stay classy!

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by classyguy View Post
    OK

    I was trying to introduce a very particular fantasy. Its my fantasy, but I assure you that I'm not alone.

    The fantasy is that of a loving, strong, and free spirited woman - who is not jealous and who is not possessive. She is confident enough in herself to accept that her man might want to be with another woman - simply for sex, and for the sake of trying something different. She would expect the same respect and understanding from her partner for decisions that she makes in her life.

    If I find that woman in the real world, I'm going to pursue her with all I have. If I find that character in a strip club, sher's going to get all of my money (and maybe even send me to the ATM).

    Only you can decide if any part of that is something that you want to aspire to OTC. But, I'm suggesting that if you can at least master that persona ITC, you're going to make some money with it. IMHO it would make you that much more interesting and irresitible to a significant percentage of your customers.

    I am that woman in the real world. I am that way with my husband in the real world. I can tell you from experience that it does not make me more money in the club. If I'm asked if I have a boyfriend I say no (I don't, I have a husband.) because men who ask that never want to hear that I do. They are checking themselves into the fantasy that they could really have me. As part of my job, I let them believe that fantasy for a while. If someone asks me outright if I'm married, I say yes, because I don't like lying. Most reactions are not what you were thinking. I do however always wear my wedding ring at work because it is very nondescript and I find that only the men who want to see it there actually notice it.


    Most men would get annoyed if their woman cooked for others for a living, but then went a cooked dinner for another man for free instead of making dinner for them when they might have wanted something to eat. At work it is okay, but at home it should be something together. Not the best analogy, but the best I could think of at the moment.

    Frankly, strippers don't take sexual pleasure from their jobs. When you cheat, you do take sexual pleasure. We say we enjoy it, we act like we enjoy, you think we enjoy it, but most of us are just calculating how much you owe us and how to get more. I love my job and I enjoy my job, but I don't orgasm at work. I don't have to stop because it gets too intense. What does that tell you? It's always one sided. It's fine to pretend that it's not, but don't get to be delusional about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Amareth View Post
    .... "I'd pork you till you turned into a pig then feed you nothing but bacon you cannibalistic whore".

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by classyguy View Post
    OK

    I was trying to introduce a very particular fantasy. Its my fantasy, but I assure you that I'm not alone.

    The fantasy is that of a loving, strong, and free spirited woman - who is not jealous and who is not possessive. She is confident enough in herself to accept that her man might want to be with another woman - simply for sex, and for the sake of trying something different. She would expect the same respect and understanding from her partner for decisions that she makes in her life.
    That's a best friends fuck buddy - a girl who is your very best friend and who enjoys casual sex as much as you do. But, you're just "friends", so there is no romantic entanglements and complications. There is mutual caring, respect and love, but not the romantic (i.e., possessive/obsessive) kind. Perhaps, this is the best relationship possible between a male and a female (and other variations) -- and that is what you should pursue. Once you apply the "GF" and "BF" labels, it all changes -- possessiveness and jealousy come with the labels.

    I know a guy who was married to his wife for a long time and, one day, he told her that he needed freedom to have sex with other women (without romantic attachment), or otherwise, he would cheat - because the temptation was too overwhelming. He had been a loyal husband for a very long time, but was becoming obsessed with the desire to experience other partners. She was devestated and asked him if he she would be accorded the same freedom. He conceded that fairness dictated that both have the same freedom, so it would be mutual.... Thence forth, he ended up spending most weekends home alone jerking off, while she was out fucking & sucking random guys... Moral of the story: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

    In the time it takes you to find one horny girl in a bar, buy her drinks, chat her up, and take her back home, your GF/Wife has given six guys head and tail:

    Woman: [Kisses Man on the lips] How was your night, dear?

    Man: Awesome, I got this little horny chick drunk and fucked her really good. What about you?

    Woman: Lots of hot guys at the club. By midnight, I had already given three guys head, and after that, two guys fucked me hard and rough doggy style. The last guy was about 9 inches long and super thick,... and I am so sore, but I loved it! We can't fuck now because I'm so sore, but I'd love for you to go down on me.

    Man: You have such an amazing sexual appetite, I love that about you... But, do you mind rinsing your mouth out with listerine? I can smell some of those guys you were with tonight.

    Um,... NOT my fantasy.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 08-04-2010 at 07:03 PM.
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  11. #32
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    That's a best friends fuck buddy - a girl who is your very best friend and who enjoys casual sex as much as you do. But, you're just "friends", so there is no romantic entanglements and complications. There is mutual caring, respect and love, but not the romantic (i.e., possessive/obsessive) kind. Perhaps, this is the best relationship possible between a male and a female (and other variations) -- and that is what you should pursue. Once you apply the "GF" and "BF" labels, it all changes -- possessiveness and jealousy come with the labels.

    I know a guy who was married to his wife for a long time and, one day, he told her that he needed freedom to have sex with other women (without romantic attachment), or otherwise, he would cheat - because the temptation was too overwhelming. He had been a loyal husband for a very long time, but was becoming obsessed with the desire to experience other partners. She was devestated and asked him if he she would be accorded the same freedom. He conceded that fairness dictated that both have the same freedom, so it would be mutual.... Thence forth, he ended up spending most weekends home alone jerking off, while she was out fucking & sucking random guys... Moral of the story: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

    In the time it takes you to find one horny girl in a bar, buy her drinks, chat her up, and take her back home, your GF/Wife has given six guys head and tail:

    Woman: [Kisses Man on the lips] How was your night, dear?

    Man: Awesome, I got this little horny drunk and fucked her really good. What about you?

    Woman: Lots of hot guys at the club. By midnight, I had already given three guys head, and after that, two guys fucked me hard and rough doggy style. The last guy was about 9 inches long and super thick,... and I am so sore, but I loved it! We can't fuck now because I'm so sore, but I'd love for you to go down on me.

    Man: You have such an amazing sexual appetite, I love that about you... But, do you mind rinsing your mouth out with listerine? I can smell some of those guys you were with tonight.

    Um,... NOT my fantasy.
    Jack, have you not paid attention to several of us on this board? I can assure you that it is very possible to care for a guy in a romantic sense and still be non-possesive. Some of us just aren't wired for jealousy and very rarely experience any at all. Since puberty I can probably think of 2-3 times I've felt jealousy over a partner and once was when I was all hugely preggo and hormonal, so I was uncharacteristically insecure.

    Oh, and I've had a best friends fuckbuddy situation in the past, so I can honestly say I know for certain there is a huuuuge difference in that and my "normal" relationships. Fuckbuddy - he's hot and I like hanging out with him, so yeah, if I'm horny, it'll work. Romantic partner - I want to be near, talk to them, touch them, tummy flips when I see them, I care about their feelings much more than my own...yanno, normal stuff.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

  12. #33
    God/dess Golden_Rule's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by flickad View Post
    The thing is, stripping is work.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    The hundred dollars IS the difference between a job and an emotional commitment to another person.
    The thing of it is that all the talk of cheating, not cheating, its just work, its not work its cheating, etc, etc, etc, is flawed. It is based on the theory that in an interpersonal dynamic between two individuals what others outside the relationship think is of any consequence.

    In such cases perception is reality because it is the perception that will be acted upon by one or more persons in the relationship.

    So its cheating if one or both persons believe it to be cheating. It isn't only if BOTH people don't believe it to be so.

    That's why it's kind of important to find someone on the same page as yourself in such matters as these. It does tend to matter.


    Quote Originally Posted by Elvia View Post
    ^^^ Yes, it would be.

    Now, if he wants to become a sex worker (and talks with me about it ahead of time) that would be a different story. I would consider it hypocritical to not be ok with him doing sex work after he's been ok with me doing it.
    Fair approach, but I am curious about why he'd need to talk to you about it first if you didn't check it out with him first? It seems to fly in the face of the logic that makes up the rest of the thought you presented.


    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    i would expect my SO to remain monogamous. if someone paid them to 100$ to grind on them though i wouldnt be mad. .
    Quote Originally Posted by she sells sanctuary View Post
    well, i'm a hypocrite. i'm the jealous type (though i don't like to show it). i'm possessive. i expect complete loyalty. and i expect a guy to let me do what i'm going to do.
    It is hypocritical, and its good if it is acknowledged as such so that there won't be a hard time reasoning why it is that you are witnessing your lover's backside walking away.

    Most people won't stand for being a lesser component in a relationship that is suppose to be equal. Its very hard to maintain either a, "I'm free to do as I please but you'll have to check in with me on anything you feel like doing.", or even the more benign, "Do as I say, not as I do.", approach for very long before the other principal in the relationship says, "Hey now! Tell me again exactly why I should put up with this?".

    The answer better be pretty damn effective or they'll be walking [if they have any self-respect that is].
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    Jack, have you not paid attention to several of us on this board? I can assure you that it is very possible to care for a guy in a romantic sense and still be non-possesive. Some of us just aren't wired for jealousy and very rarely experience any at all. Since puberty I can probably think of 2-3 times I've felt jealousy over a partner and once was when I was all hugely preggo and hormonal, so I was uncharacteristically insecure.
    Princessjas,... you must be the answer to the OP's prayers!...

    If you say it is possible to love romantically without being the least bit possessive and exclusive, and that you've done it,... then, it is possible... But, I've never meet anyone like that... It is rare.

    And..., you have also not been listening... I absolutely hate it when people think that "you must be insecure and jealous" if you do not consent to your GF fucking and giving other guys head. That argument is just as absurd as "you must not really love your SO" if you let them fuck other people. I respect swingers and, in some ways, I admire couples that encourage each other to engage in exciting new sexual encounters with different partners... But, this is not for everybody,... and not because the rest of us are all "jealous and insecure" like its some kind of mental illness.

    Many people still value the traditional notion of romance, which involves mutual exclusivity. It is true that when you love someone deeply, you are terrified of losing that person to a more attractive suitor, but that's not the only reason for exclusivity. The idea of the ONE soul-mate and life-long partner who will satisfy your every need, hunger and desire is a romantic notion that lives on today. Even "enlightened" liberal continue to preserve this old-fashioned romantic notion... Consider how hard "open-minded" GLBT couples are fighting to apply this silly old-fashioned concept to them.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    It is true that when you love someone deeply, you are terrified of losing that person to a more attractive suitor
    that may be true for you.....but i doubt its a majority. THAT is the definition of insecurity.

    That thought has never crossed my mind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Golden_Rule View Post
    The thing of it is that all the talk of cheating, not cheating, its just work, its not work its cheating, etc, etc, etc, is flawed. It is based on the theory that in an interpersonal dynamic between two individuals what others outside the relationship think is of any consequence.
    I think that the "its work" argument creates a wonderful loophole for would-be cheaters. I've got some wealthy female clients that I could seduce and call it "client relationship building". It would certainly improve my chances of generating more business and retaining them as clients. Or... I could find a bar or country club were horny older rich women hang out and service women in exchange for money or expensive gifts. As long as a woman pays me some amount of cash after I screw her, its not "cheating", its "work".... beautiful logic!

    I don't think the no-extras dancer is "cheating" when she is only dancing, because this is only entertainment... And I don't think her BF is "cheating" when he is buying lapdances from her friends, because again, this is only entertainment (just like jerking off to porn is not "cheating")... But, any "extra" by either of them is cheating.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    Princessjas,... you must be the answer to the OP's prayers!...

    If you say it is possible to love romantically without being the least bit possessive and exclusive, and that you've done it,... then, it is possible... But, I've never meet anyone like that... It is rare.

    And..., you have also not been listening... I absolutely hate it when people think that "you must be insecure and jealous" if you do not consent to your GF fucking and giving other guys head. That argument is just as absurd as "you must not really love your SO" if you let them fuck other people. I respect swingers and, in some ways, I admire couples that encourage each other to engage in exciting new sexual encounters with different partners... But, this is not for everybody,... and not because the rest of us are all "jealous and insecure" like its some kind of mental illness.

    Many people still value the traditional notion of romance, which involves mutual exclusivity. It is true that when you love someone deeply, you are terrified of losing that person to a more attractive suitor, but that's not the only reason for exclusivity. The idea of the ONE soul-mate and life-long partner who will satisfy your every need, hunger and desire is a romantic notion that lives on today. Even "enlightened" liberal continue to preserve this old-fashioned romantic notion... Consider how hard "open-minded" GLBT couples are fighting to apply this silly old-fashioned concept to them.
    Please don't put words in my mouth and cut the fucking sarcasm, plz. I'm certainly not the only girl on this forum or the flip side who is into relationships that are not the norm. I also didn't say people are insecure who expect monogamy. I just said that insecurity is what triggered my jealousy in that ONE instance. I think many peeps are just wired for jealousy and possesiveness...they literally feel it for basically no reason at all. I'm not like that though, so it usually takes something to kinda "nudge" me (and many others) to feel it, that's all I was pointing out....and if you look around there are a loooot more people like me out there than you realize. Many are like I used to be and try to hide the fact that they don't get jealous easily for fear of having their partners accuse them of not caring.

    None of this is me saying everyone else is "mentally ill" btw. As a matter of fact, monogamous people seem to be the ones that have issues with anything a little different. YOU certainly seem to be threatened today by other peoples choices if they are different than yours.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by lemiwinks31 View Post
    that may be true for you.....but i doubt its a majority. THAT is the definition of insecurity.

    That thought has never crossed my mind.
    I pointed out myself that THAT is insecurity, but I also pointed out the OTHER reasons for exclusivity.
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    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    Please don't put words in my mouth and cut the fucking sarcasm, plz. I'm certainly not the only girl on this forum or the flip side who is into relationships that are not the norm. I also didn't say people are insecure who expect monogamy. I just said that insecurity is what triggered my jealousy in that ONE instance.
    Okay,... like I said, I respect the mutually agreed alternative lifestyle, but I hate it when people think that anyone who holds on to traditional notions of monogamous relationships must be mentally sick with jealousy and insecurity... Like, if I can't accept my wife being an escort (while married to me), I must have an insecurity and jealousy problem... That I must learn to get over... WTF?

    (BTW - No offense to the escorts on this site, my only objection is to a woman escorting while married to me. What she did before her marriage to me is her life and her business.)

    If my wife was escorting and fucked the ugliest looking dude in the planet, this would not make me "jealous" (I know she hated the experience and only did it for money) or "insecure" (I know she's not going to run away with him), but it would still offend my traditional notion of monogamy (personally for my relationships, not for everyone else's) .

    If that wasn't your argument, then I'm sorry... But, I've heard it too often on this site.
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    we all play the monogamy game.... until the price is right LOL. you'd turn down 10G for a one night fuck? ......BULLSHIT

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    Okay,... like I said, I respect the mutually agreed alternative lifestyle, but I hate it when people think that anyone who holds on to traditional notions of monogamous relationships must be mentally sick with jealousy and insecurity... Like, if I can't accept my wife being an escort (while married to me), I must have an insecurity and jealousy problem... That I must learn to get over... WTF?

    (BTW - No offense to the escorts on this site, my only objection is to a woman escorting while married to me. What she did before her marriage to me is her life and her business.)

    If my wife was escorting and fucked the ugliest looking dude in the planet, this would not make me "jealous" (I know she hated the experience and only did it for money) or "insecure" (I know she's not going to run away with him), but it would still offend my traditional notion of monogamy (personally for my relationships, not for everyone else's) .

    If that wasn't your argument, then I'm sorry... But, I've heard it too often on this site.
    I have to agree with Jack. This isn't aimed at anyone in this thread who have open marriages, (in fact I think all have been respectful of monogamous marriages as well) but there are a few here who have called "traditional marriages" boring or vanilla sex. While I have no problems with those who are open (to each their own), I just wish those of us who were more straitlaced were accepted too. I want a man who sleeps only with me and I sleep only with him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I have to agree with Jack. This isn't aimed at anyone in this thread who have open marriages, (in fact I think all have been respectful of monogamous marriages as well) but there are a few here who have called "traditional marriages" boring or vanilla sex. While I have no problems with those who are open (to each their own), I just wish those of us who were more straitlaced were accepted too. I want a man who sleeps only with me and I sleep only with him.
    I've never said a negative thing about monogamous relationships. I have described "traditional" missionary position sex as boring and vanilla TO ME. I don't have any issues with what anyone else is into though. Everyone has different tastes and whatever makes you hot, you can guarantee disgusts or bores someone out there. No biggie.

    The fact that the more traditional folks would even worry about being accepted boggles my mind to be honest. I mean, you are like 95% of the population and aren't going to be called a freak or anything if you make your preferences known. I'd however likely be beat to a pulp and shunned by everyone/disowned by my family if I came out as a bi-submissive.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I have to agree with Jack. This isn't aimed at anyone in this thread who have open marriages, (in fact I think all have been respectful of monogamous marriages as well) but there are a few here who have called "traditional marriages" boring or vanilla sex. While I have no problems with those who are open (to each their own), I just wish those of us who were more straitlaced were accepted too. I want a man who sleeps only with me and I sleep only with him.
    The reason people are in open marriages is because they DO find traditional relationships boring, this is a matter of opinion and shouldn't be taken as an insult. It's no different than me saying i find your favorite TV show boring, that's just how i feel and sorry if it bugs you.

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    To Jessie Tinydancer- I couldn't agree more that lying and deceit would turn what may otherwise have been an insignificant sexual encounter into something much more dangerous and destructive to a relationship. If my wife knew that I trusted her to have fun with others on occaision, but she still chose to try to do so behind my back, I would know that something was seriously wrong. The point is that in an ideal, loving, trusting, and open relationship, there would be little need for lying and deceit.

    To Jack - We're really not talking about an occaisional gang bang here.

    To Girl Undressed and Princessjas - You both sound like an ideal partner (but I'm sure that's not telling you something you don't already know). If I ran into either of you in a club, and you became comfortable enough with me to share that - we'd have a lot of fun - and you'd get all my money that night. Simple as that.

    Also to Undressed - You said that in your experience, this doesn't help you make any money. I'm curious - if your customers don't find what a lot of men would consider to be the perfect fantasy woman to be attractive - what the hell are they looking for?

    BTW - To Lemiwinks - Hated that movie, but your post was seriously funny and creative.

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    The phrase, "can't we all just get along" comes to mind here.

    I think a lot of people are bringing aggression into the forum from things they have dealt with in the real world. No one said vanilla sex is a bad thing. I never realized the term could even be an insult, thought it was just a description of a preference. No one said that crazy BDSM sex was a bad thing. No one said that a preference for a monogamous relationship makes you insecure or that an open relationship makes you a whore.

    I think the answer to the OP's question is that all people have different preferences. The majority of strippers seem to prefer monogamy, but there are plenty who enjoy other types of relationships. None of this makes a person more or less open minded. The OP's dream woman is probably out there.

    As lap dances, extras, and/or escorting being cheating, I think Golden Rule put it best. If it is against what at least one person in the relationship feels to be okay then it is cheating. Find a different significant other if this is a problem. No reason to put down people with different relationship ideas.
    Quote Originally Posted by Amareth View Post
    .... "I'd pork you till you turned into a pig then feed you nothing but bacon you cannibalistic whore".

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    Quote Originally Posted by classyguy View Post
    To Girl Undressed and Princessjas - You both sound like an ideal partner (but I'm sure that's not telling you something you don't already know). If I ran into either of you in a club, and you became comfortable enough with me to share that - we'd have a lot of fun - and you'd get all my money that night. Simple as that.

    Also to Undressed - You said that in your experience, this doesn't help you make any money. I'm curious - if your customers don't find what a lot of men would consider to be the perfect fantasy woman to be attractive - what the hell are they looking for?
    Thank you for the compliment. Hopefully you'll get your own fantasy woman soon.

    It would be the ultimate fantasy if I was single and the way I am. Men always want their fantasy woman to put them first. Some do love me married and living proof that a woman like me exists though, it's just not as many as the previous type.

    What can I say? Men are weird. I've known that since realizing that they would pay for foreplay in the club, but many would never do it in the bedroom lol. Some things just don't make sense.
    Quote Originally Posted by Amareth View Post
    .... "I'd pork you till you turned into a pig then feed you nothing but bacon you cannibalistic whore".

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    Quote Originally Posted by classyguy View Post
    OK

    I was trying to introduce a very particular fantasy. Its my fantasy, but I assure you that I'm not alone.

    The fantasy is that of a loving, strong, and free spirited woman - who is not jealous and who is not possessive. She is confident enough in herself to accept that her man might want to be with another woman - simply for sex, and for the sake of trying something different. She would expect the same respect and understanding from her partner for decisions that she makes in her life....I'm suggesting that if you can at least master that persona ITC, you're going to make some money with it. IMHO it would make you that much more interesting and irresitible to a significant percentage of your customers.
    Ever since I was a teenager, I've noticed that a lot of guys have a tendency to think that what they enjoy sexually is what all or most guys enjoy sexually. While I'm sure you're not alone in this fantasy, my experience in the sex industry has taught me that most guys would prefer not to think of me with other guys at all. If anything, they're more likely to fantasize about the girl being all theirs than they are to fantasize about her being polyamorous.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    I've never said a negative thing about monogamous relationships. I have described "traditional" missionary position sex as boring and vanilla TO ME. I don't have any issues with what anyone else is into though. Everyone has different tastes and whatever makes you hot, you can guarantee disgusts or bores someone out there. No biggie.

    The fact that the more traditional folks would even worry about being accepted boggles my mind to be honest. I mean, you are like 95% of the population and aren't going to be called a freak or anything if you make your preferences known. I'd however likely be beat to a pulp and shunned by everyone/disowned by my family if I came out as a bi-submissive.
    I wasn't thinking of you or anyone else in this thread. In fact the non monogamous people in this thread have never made comments at all. It's been others, but yeah a few have made comments to it. I would actually agree with you that missionary position is boring.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Golden_Rule View Post
    Fair approach, but I am curious about why he'd need to talk to you about it first if you didn't check it out with him first? It seems to fly in the face of the logic that makes up the rest of the thought you presented.
    Because I did discuss it with my partner before I went into stripping. And it's not so much a matter of "checking with" as much as it's a matter of being open with them and discussing it, as opposed to doing it in secret. If my partner knows what I do already when we meet and decides to proceed with a relationship, there might not be much to discuss. If someone decides to go into sex work, I think that's something the partner deserves to know.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    The reason people are in open marriages is because they DO find traditional relationships boring.
    True,... but also consider that a lot of people in traditional relationships today already had the "wild" and "promiscuous" lifestyle in their younger days and enjoyed their sexual license... Been there, done that,... but they've met a special person with whom they desire to have a more substantial and complete relationship. By "complete" I mean that each person feels completely fulfilled in the relationship and feels no necessity to go outside.

    My college experience was full of casual sexual encounters and I'm thankful for that experience. But, while I do miss the excitement of a new "conquest", the quality of the sex I have with my GF is highly superior. To many guys, casual sex is just about "scoring" ego points and getting off. Monogamous sex with that special ONE produces a longer-lasting and deeper satisfaction that nourishes the "partnership". The best analogy I can use is that it is "highly tuned, calibrated and precise performance" and that it would take a long time for another partner to learn to play my instruments with the same skill and finesse.

    Also, I don't think "I'm bored" is a good reason to start swinging. Monogamy can get boring, but it doesn't have to... Rather than "spice" things up by switching partners, a couple can find other ways to "spice" things up - e.g., bondage, fantasies and costumes, public fucking, toys, etc. I've met couples in the BDSM community who will perform acts for the crowd at a party, but are 100% monogamous.

    That's not to say I disapprove of the swinger lifestyle, just that "I'm bored with my SO" is not the best reason to enter the lifestyle.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

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