
Originally Posted by
jack0177057
This sounds like a female best friend. I had someone like this a long time ago (we still keep in touch) - we both knew that as a "traditional couple" we wouldn't work out. For one thing, she was very ambitious and had no desire to "settle down" with family responsibilities. (On the other hand, I have always wanted a family.) She was certain to be (and is) an outstanding career woman, but not likely to be the best mom, if she ever decides to be one (very unlikely). I respected, encouraged and admired her in every way and she was my best friend for life. I even felt a crush for her once in while, but realized "love" would ruin our friendship. She and I were sexually involved with other people, but did not have the same "connection" with anyone else.
So, my point is -- it only worked out with her, because she was my "best friend" and not my wife.
Having a wife, even if you swing, will necessarily involve responsibilities, restraints, commitments and sacrifices -- things you obviously don't want. A wife is a partner in the creation of a family and a partner in your finances, wealth, assets, etc. You will have tense disagreements about how money is spent, who does more around the house, spending enought time with the family, how to control and discipline the children, etc..., etc..., etc... Swinging with your wife poses many practical issues/risks -- e.g., stds, pregnancy (you getting someone else pregnant or her having someone else's child), hygiene, distractions from family responsibilities, expensive gifts to other lovers, spending more time with other lovers, etc..., etc..., etc...
My Islamic friend tells me that in her faith polygamy (one man with several wives) is permitted, but only if he loves and treats them all the same. She correctly adds - but that is impossible - so she will not live in a polygamous marriage. Same thing would apply with an "open" relationship. She'll love you the most (maybe), but some other dude has a bigger dick or is rougher in bed (and therefore better). Maybe he gets her involved in some kinky stuff that is hot to them, but gross to you - like licking each other's assholes... Let's say you're not jealous, you say - Well, fuck him all you want, go at it. - But, she spends more nights at his house than at yours. If you have kids, you'll feel that she's not carrying her weight, because she's leaving you to watch the kids when she's out fucking around... or vice versa - she may not be jealous of your other sex partners, but she wants you back in 30 minutes to "spend time with the kids" and take them to the zoo, but your mistress wants you to take her shopping for lingerie, instead.
One most days, I can barely deal with the demands of one woman,... but you want to have to deal with several of them? (No offense to female readers - you're all precious creatures.)
So, why not just find a best friend with benefits? -- Avoid all the complexities of marriage and family altogether. -- This is what I don't understand.
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