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Thread: Monogamy?

  1. #76
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    I am a stripper and thats got nothing to do with my view on cheating.

    A real loving realtiohship to me is being 100% faithful in everyway and my view has not gotten more open because of my job at all..

    I don't work in clubs with that much contact as you talked about. If i did i could see that hard for a man to take that.

    but again stripping is a job sure maybe its fun and a great way to party but i do not consider it cheating. Nor do i want to be in a realtionship with a man who cheats or goes to strip clubs..

    Thats my personal choice and i stick to it.

    We are not stripping to get cheap thrills or fill a sexual need it's a job only the guys who come to strip clubs are looking at it in a sexual way.

    If i was dating a man who felt what i was doing was sexual and felt that made it ok for him to do something with a nother woman no questions asked he would be out the door..

    Thats how i live my life anyways, i don't take crap like that..
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    ^^While I respect that view, I don't think most of us that prefer open relationships do so because of the job. I was able to dance because of my open view of sexuality, the job didn't influence who I was....who I was just made it easier to be naked in front of a baziilion peeps.

    IMHO cheating is what the couple has defined it as and it's pretty much a dealbreaker. Being lied to and deceived is never an acceptable thing. Peeps need to be honest even about the stuff that is hard, gawd knows I'm flawed as all get out but I at least own it.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by classyguy View Post
    This thread is about the perfect woman - and about the perfect relationship.

    I'm suggesting that my perfect woman is one who loves me enough, and who is confident enough in herself, to understand and accept that, although I love her completely, situations may arise when I want to fuck someone else.

    I'm suggesting that the perfect relationship is one where she enjoys the same love, respect, and trust. If she does something that makes her feel good, I can be happy for her.

    Because I love her.
    This sounds like a female best friend. I had someone like this a long time ago (we still keep in touch) - we both knew that as a "traditional couple" we wouldn't work out. For one thing, she was very ambitious and had no desire to "settle down" with family responsibilities. (On the other hand, I have always wanted a family.) She was certain to be (and is) an outstanding career woman, but not likely to be the best mom, if she ever decides to be one (very unlikely). I respected, encouraged and admired her in every way and she was my best friend for life. I even felt a crush for her once in while, but realized "love" would ruin our friendship. She and I were sexually involved with other people, but did not have the same "connection" with anyone else.

    So, my point is -- it only worked out with her, because she was my "best friend" and not my wife.

    Having a wife, even if you swing, will necessarily involve responsibilities, restraints, commitments and sacrifices -- things you obviously don't want. A wife is a partner in the creation of a family and a partner in your finances, wealth, assets, etc. You will have tense disagreements about how money is spent, who does more around the house, spending enought time with the family, how to control and discipline the children, etc..., etc..., etc... Swinging with your wife poses many practical issues/risks -- e.g., stds, pregnancy (you getting someone else pregnant or her having someone else's child), hygiene, distractions from family responsibilities, expensive gifts to other lovers, spending more time with other lovers, etc..., etc..., etc...

    My Islamic friend tells me that in her faith polygamy (one man with several wives) is permitted, but only if he loves and treats them all the same. She correctly adds - but that is impossible - so she will not live in a polygamous marriage. Same thing would apply with an "open" relationship. She'll love you the most (maybe), but some other dude has a bigger dick or is rougher in bed (and therefore better). Maybe he gets her involved in some kinky stuff that is hot to them, but gross to you - like licking each other's assholes... Let's say you're not jealous, you say - Well, fuck him all you want, go at it. - But, she spends more nights at his house than at yours. If you have kids, you'll feel that she's not carrying her weight, because she's leaving you to watch the kids when she's out fucking around... or vice versa - she may not be jealous of your other sex partners, but she wants you back in 30 minutes to "spend time with the kids" and take them to the zoo, but your mistress wants you to take her shopping for lingerie, instead.

    One most days, I can barely deal with the demands of one woman,... but you want to have to deal with several of them? (No offense to female readers - you're all precious creatures.)

    So, why not just find a best friend with benefits? -- Avoid all the complexities of marriage and family altogether. -- This is what I don't understand.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 08-13-2010 at 08:25 AM.
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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    ^LOL Jack you make swinging sound waaaaaaay more complicated than it is.

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    ^ Jessie_tinydancer - If I ever change my views on this (a few more of your pics might do it), I'm hoping you can teach me to do it right.

    But seriously - I'm a bordeline sex-addict - I need sex all the time. My GF doesn't have the same level of libido, but she accomodates me as much as possible (like with HJs or BJs, when we've already had sex that day and she's not in the mood to it again). In a monogamous relationship, my sex-addiction is not a major problem (so long as my GF is accomodating and I am willing to settle for HJs). But,... if I got into swinging, it would totally consume me... things would get out of control... I would chase after swinger girls every minute of my free time. Between work (I work about 50-60 hours a week) and swinging, there wouldn't time left for anything else productive, "romantic" or family-related in my life. Also, what's the point of having a "wife" if I'm spending all my free time chasing other sex partners? It would get too complicated...
    Last edited by jack0177057; 08-13-2010 at 09:37 AM.
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    This sounds like a female best friend. I had someone like this a long time ago (we still keep in touch) - we both knew that as a "traditional couple" we wouldn't work out. For one thing, she was very ambitious and had no desire to "settle down" with family responsibilities. (On the other hand, I have always wanted a family.) She was certain to be (and is) an outstanding career woman, but not likely to be the best mom, if she ever decides to be one (very unlikely). I respected, encouraged and admired her in every way and she was my best friend for life. I even felt a crush for her once in while, but realized "love" would ruin our friendship. She and I were sexually involved with other people, but did not have the same "connection" with anyone else.

    So, my point is -- it only worked out with her, because she was my "best friend" and not my wife.

    Having a wife, even if you swing, will necessarily involve responsibilities, restraints, commitments and sacrifices -- things you obviously don't want. A wife is a partner in the creation of a family and a partner in your finances, wealth, assets, etc. You will have tense disagreements about how money is spent, who does more around the house, spending enought time with the family, how to control and discipline the children, etc..., etc..., etc... Swinging with your wife poses many practical issues/risks -- e.g., stds, pregnancy (you getting someone else pregnant or her having someone else's child), hygiene, distractions from family responsibilities, expensive gifts to other lovers, spending more time with other lovers, etc..., etc..., etc...

    My Islamic friend tells me that in her faith polygamy (one man with several wives) is permitted, but only if he loves and treats them all the same. She correctly adds - but that is impossible - so she will not live in a polygamous marriage. Same thing would apply with an "open" relationship. She'll love you the most (maybe), but some other dude has a bigger dick or is rougher in bed (and therefore better). Maybe he gets her involved in some kinky stuff that is hot to them, but gross to you - like licking each other's assholes... Let's say you're not jealous, you say - Well, fuck him all you want, go at it. - But, she spends more nights at his house than at yours. If you have kids, you'll feel that she's not carrying her weight, because she's leaving you to watch the kids when she's out fucking around... or vice versa - she may not be jealous of your other sex partners, but she wants you back in 30 minutes to "spend time with the kids" and take them to the zoo, but your mistress wants you to take her shopping for lingerie, instead.

    One most days, I can barely deal with the demands of one woman,... but you want to have to deal with several of them? (No offense to female readers - you're all precious creatures.)

    So, why not just find a best friend with benefits? -- Avoid all the complexities of marriage and family altogether. -- This is what I don't understand.
    First off I find it rather offensive that you keep insisting that any open relationship is like a fuckbuddy situation. It's like you are telling us "No, you really don't care about your partner." You have no clue what any of us feel or don't feel, and acting like you do is getting a bit monotonous.

    Secondly, there are all different sorts of arrangements to the completely open like you are describing to the only when I'm there types, or the no dates only sex types....I could go on and on. A lot of people in these situations have rules about spending more time with their partner, no overnights, must be put first, etc. If you aren't open about what your expectations are then it will surely blow up in your face. Somehow you make it sound dramalicious, but in reality my monogamous relationships always had twice the drama of my more open arrangements.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    This sounds like a female best friend. I had someone like this a long time ago (we still keep in touch) - we both knew that as a "traditional couple" we wouldn't work out. For one thing, she was very ambitious and had no desire to "settle down" with family responsibilities. (On the other hand, I have always wanted a family.) She was certain to be (and is) an outstanding career woman, but not likely to be the best mom, if she ever decides to be one (very unlikely)..
    This part bothers me because it implies a lot. It implies that career women can't have a family and be family orientated. I can be both a career woman and a mother and don't see why it's not possible. Yet if we switched it, saying a man couldn't be a great dad because he was a career man, people would argue. This bothers me tremendously that guys still think this way. I don't think monogamy, swinging, etc has anything to do with whether one wants a family of not. I've known people in open marriages who were childless and others who had children, same with monogamous families.

    Personally, I've known these types of non monogamous couples. One couple was a porn couple. Both were actors and they produced movies, often the one would film the movie with the other. They also attended swingers parties. Another couple was into the swinging parties but didn't make videos. A third couple had an agreement that they could date others, sleep with others, just not around each other. Still another couple would bring home a third person. For some of them it was just sex, but for others there was a bond with the additional person. I also knew a monogamous couple that would attend swinger parties to watch and participate only with themselves. Did they become full blown swingers? I doubt it because they were jealous but loved to watch others.

  9. #83
    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    ^ Jessie_tinydancer - If I ever change my views on this (a few more of your pics might do it), I'm hoping you can teach me to do it right.

    But seriously - I'm a bordeline sex-addict - I need sex all the time. My GF doesn't have the same level of libido, but she accomodates me as much as possible (like with HJs or BJs, when we've already had sex that day and she's not in the mood to it again). In a monogamous relationship, my sex-addiction is not a major problem (so long as my GF is accomodating and I am willing to settle for HJs). But,... if I got into swinging, it would totally consume me... things would get out of control... I would chase after swinger girls every minute of my free time. Between work (I work about 50-60 hours a week) and swinging, there wouldn't time left for anything else productive, "romantic" or family-related in my life. Also, what's the point of having a "wife" if I'm spending all my free time chasing other sex partners? It would get too complicated...
    These are your issues and not really a problem in most open relationships. I know of several girls who have complained that their partner rarely if ever wants to introduce another person anymore. If you really wanted to be with your partner more than anyone else, you'd be chasing after HER most of the time, not random other women. To be in an open relationship you have to want your partner more than anything, imho.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    First off I find it rather offensive that you keep insisting that any open relationship is like a fuckbuddy situation. It's like you are telling us "No, you really don't care about your partner." You have no clue what any of us feel or don't feel, and acting like you do is getting a bit monotonous.
    I was speaking directly to the OP. Based on his posts, it seems to me he wants to avoid all the jealousies, insecurities, heartaches and drama of a traditional marriage, and my point is, swinging is not a magic pill that is going to guarantee that your marriage will last forever and be perfect. I think the OP is better off in a fuckbuddy or best-friends-with-benefits situation.

    Secondly, I tried to emphasize how much I cared for, admired and respected P. She was not a mere "fuckbuddy" whom I didn't care about, she was a person I loved and cared for a lot (best friend forever), but without the drama of romantic "love". As best friends, we did a lot more than just fuck, we spent a LOT of non-sexual time together. But, if I had tried to make her my GF or wife, she would have resented the effort. SHE was too wild and free to consider such things. I never imposed my views, attitudes, beliefs, etc. on her and she never imposed hers on me. This was probably the best relationship I ever had with a woman, but marriage would have certainly screwed it up.

    The point I'm trying to make is that men and women have more flexibility to define their relationship in a "friendship", than in a "marriage". I've had great female friends over the years (both with benefits and without benefits) and I don't see "friendship" as a negative, the way you do. If I look back on my life, I miss my female friends more than my GFs. I've selected some GF on artifical things, like how attractive they were, but my female friends were selected based on deeper things like mutual respect and admiration and comraderie. A few friends became GFs, and more often than not, that was a mistake.

    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    A lot of people in these situations have rules about spending more time with their partner, no overnights, must be put first, etc.
    That defeats the whole point, though. The OP does not want "rules", he wants freedom.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    This part bothers me because it implies a lot. It implies that career women can't have a family and be family orientated. I can be both a career woman and a mother and don't see why it's not possible.
    I did not intend to imply that. I was talking about one particular individual who had no intention of "settling down" or being a mom. In fact, she is now bisexual and is currently living with a female lover. (She went bi ten years after our last sexual encounter, so don't blame me.)

    Also, there is another post here where women complain about the societal assumption that all single women dream about getting married and raising kids... Both assumptions are wrong. Some career woman want marriage and kids... some don't.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 08-13-2010 at 12:12 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    If you really wanted to be with your partner more than anyone else, you'd be chasing after HER most of the time, not random other women.
    I do want to be with my partner more than anyone else, that's why my other activities are limited to high contact lap dances. For ME (I am only saying what works for me), that's my limit - beyond that, raw uncontrollable lust would take over the driver's seat and overpower romantic "love" and all my other faculties.

    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    To be in an open relationship you have to want your partner more than anything, imho.
    When you sample too many different flavors, you tend to get a bit indecisive about which is your favorite flavor. -- Karen is cute, petite, sweet, tender and sensual. Margaret gives amazing head. Carol fucks like the world is ending and she has the strongest orgasms. Lilly is the tighest of them all. Jen knows how to ride cock the best in the woman-on-top position.

    I might love my GF or wife profoundly on an emotional and spiritual level,... but when it comes to sex, she becomes just 1 out of 36 different flavors in a swinger lifestyle.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    I do want to be with my partner more than anyone else, that's why my other activities are limited to high contact lap dances. For ME (I am only saying what works for me), that's my limit - beyond that, raw uncontrollable lust would take over the driver's seat and overpower romantic "love" and all my other faculties.



    When you sample too many different flavors, you tend to get a bit indecisive about which is your favorite flavor. -- Karen is cute, petite, sweet, tender and sensual. Margaret gives amazing head. Carol fucks like the world is ending and she has the strongest orgasms. Lilly is the tighest of them all. Jen knows how to ride cock the best in the woman-on-top position.

    I might love my GF or wife profoundly on an emotional and spiritual level,... but when it comes to sex, she becomes just 1 out of 36 different flavors in a swinger lifestyle.
    See, I can't relate to this in any way. I have never compared lovers. Each person I've been with has been unique and to me it seems immature as hell and completely pointless to compare them to one another. Plus, why would someone be your primary partner if they weren't your exact "flavor?" I just don't get that one.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Hey Jack I do respect the fact that you recognise your weakness and you want to stay true to your partner. And I believe that swinging and more alternative relationships are definitely not for everyone. Just in regard to the flavour thing... I can tell you that there really is nothing more satifying than sex with the person you love. We have one cpl that we refer to as our "favourite" .. The 4 of us get along so well it's rediculous. So much fun! We've known them for almost 5 years now... And I can still say my number 1 experience ever is still with hubby... Love and sex just makes the ultimate experience. Why did I mention that cpl? Because they would come second... Because I know them so well I can be crazy confident and sure I'm not in love with them but they would beat a new flavour every time. Flavours are good but they are more of a novelty. Just another perspective to demonstrate it can't fit in a box. Also rules are absolutely essential in every open relationship. I've never met anyone in one with no rules. There's two of u... There's no way you both have the exact same needs...

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Princessjas & Jessie_tinydancer

    I think its wonderful that you guys have made it work in a romantic "true love" situation (again, I could make it work in a "best friends" situation - but not a romantic "true love" & marriage situation).

    I said it before - monogamy should be dead after the sexual revolution, the hippie "free love" movement, the "sexual liberation" of women, the "hook-up" college culture, the ecstacy rave parties, etc. -- all these things should have awakened us to a new world of free sexual expression and experimentation, non-jealousy, non-possessiveness, non-insecurity, etc,.... but yet, most of us keep coming back to monogamy (even after experimenting with the thrills of promiscuity). I am surprised that we (monogamous people) are not just an old-fashioned antiquated minority.

    The OP should be encouraged that there are some women that will give him the sexual freedom he wants, but he should not try to impose his enlightened views on a woman who doesn't share his vision of utopia.
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    Where did you ever get the idea that I don't think there sould be rules? I've repeated many things that I think should be reasonable rules.

    Outside encounters should be "occaisional" (because we don't want to take away time from the kids). The partners should be safe (because we want to do our best not to bring home STDs). The partners should be discrete (because neither of us want our friends, neighbors, or family to think we are being cuckolded). No falling in love (just because). ... etc.

    And no gang bangs (because ... well ... that would just be totally unfair! - I'm not bad - but there is no way I could ever gang bang 6 or 7 women ... so, if I can't do it .....)

    And where did you ever get the idea that I would impose my ideas on anyone who is not willing?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    I did not intend to imply that. I was talking about one particular individual who had no intention of "settling down" or being a mom. In fact, she is now bisexual and is currently living with a female lover. (She went bi ten years after our last sexual encounter, so don't blame me.)

    Also, there is another post here where women complain about the societal assumption that all single women dream about getting married and raising kids... Both assumptions are wrong. Some career woman want marriage and kids... some don't.
    No problem, I just always wonder when I read comments because there are a few like that here. You always seem rational to me but had to wonder. You are exactly right that some career women want kids and some don't. I've actually known a few high powered career women who definitely didn't want kids, but many still did.

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    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    IMHO cheating is what the couple has defined it as and it's pretty much a dealbreaker. Being lied to and deceived is never an acceptable thing. Peeps need to be honest even about the stuff that is hard, gawd knows I'm flawed as all get out but I at least own it.
    If you stopped at the text in bold you would have been 100% on the money.

    Cheating is what the two, three, four or more in the relationship have defined it as. What anyone else thinks, or society's view in general, is all well and good but doesn't enter into it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    ^LOL Jack you make swinging sound waaaaaaay more complicated than it is.
    I use to help run what was, at the time, the singular largest swingers meeting and self-help organization in the world. I can tell you from direct observation of hundreds of swinging couples, and indirect involvement with thousands more, that because of the nature of human beings it is frequently complicated.

    In fact so much so that I saw many more couples who swing fall apart then stay together.

    Unfortunate, but true.
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Golden_Rule View Post


    I use to help run what was, at the time, the singular largest swingers meeting and self-help organization in the world. I can tell you from direct observation of hundreds of swinging couples, and indirect involvement with thousands more, that because of the nature of human beings it is frequently complicated.

    In fact so much so that I saw many more couples who swing fall apart then stay together.

    Unfortunate, but true.

    That is really interesting. Why do you think that is?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Golden_Rule View Post
    If you stopped at the text in bold you would have been 100% on the money.

    Cheating is what the two, three, four or more in the relationship have defined it as. What anyone else thinks, or society's view in general, is all well and good but doesn't enter into it.



    I use to help run what was, at the time, the singular largest swingers meeting and self-help organization in the world. I can tell you from direct observation of hundreds of swinging couples, and indirect involvement with thousands more, that because of the nature of human beings it is frequently complicated.

    In fact so much so that I saw many more couples who swing fall apart then stay together.

    Unfortunate, but true.
    Swingers meeting and self help organization? I dont get it so it was for swingers who need help??

    Of all the couples we've ever met... granted its been only 5 years... But probably 30+ couples. Only 2 have broken up. One was because one partner had a drug addiction and the other was because one partner was only 19 and she decided to go back to university and had to move home which was on the other side of the world. I'm sure divorce rates are probably the same as the general population. No better, no worse. A lot of people break up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    Swingers meeting and self help organization? I dont get it so it was for swingers who need help??

    Of all the couples we've ever met... granted its been only 5 years... But probably 30+ couples. Only 2 have broken up. One was because one partner had a drug addiction and the other was because one partner was only 19 and she decided to go back to university and had to move home which was on the other side of the world. I'm sure divorce rates are probably the same as the general population. No better, no worse. A lot of people break up.
    Quote Originally Posted by classyguy View Post
    That is really interesting. Why do you think that is?
    It dated back to pre-WWW days when the big way to get connected by computers were bulletin board systems. These systems were local and could have hundreds, maybe thousands, of members. However they were also connected with each other, nationally and internationally, through a network technology created by Tom Jennings called "Fido Net", which was the largest amateur computer network in the world.

    "Adult Links", which was the BBS network whose management I was involved with* , used Fido Net technology to interconnect tens of thousands of swinging couples throughout North America, South America, Europe and Australia.

    It was "self-help" as its forums were geared toward swingers helping other swingers with their questions about the life-style and how to handle the various aspects of it. The meeting part was obvious. Many thousands of small parties and get-togethers game out of the connections made on the network.

    Twice annually we had a major get-together on what had been a farm outside of Rochester, NY.

    Over 30 something years I have known these couples and more than half of them have broken up. Now I presume the majority had to do with the same things that break up most couples and 50% is about average for the married population of the US in general. However I know a fair share of them broke up due to the long term effects of living a life-style that pulls at the very human traits of jealousy and insecurity. Most of these having to do with too many times going outside some boundary that had been set. Boundaries not usual to non-swinging couples. [This is why my most given advice to couples in the the life-style is to set boundaries both can live within, understand them completely and hold to them]

    The bottom line of it is that swinging requires couples that truly have their ca-ca together. People being people most of us don't have our shit together well enough to handle the extra tensions swinging can put on a relationship over the long haul.

    There are couples that hold it together short term [five years of less] but long term its the rare couple that has their jealousies and insecurities so well in check that they don't eventually become an issue. At that point they get out of swinging or start having real problems.

    *I was the regional coordinator for SE New York - including NYC, NJ and Eastern PA.

    I did it until I started advancing in the law enforcement agency I worked for and they got wind of it. At that point they pointed out the moral turpitude clause in our contract and suggested I not help run international swingers organizations if I wanted to maintain my position within the agency. I stayed involved with the life-style but backed out of organizing.
    Last edited by Golden_Rule; 08-15-2010 at 05:36 PM. Reason: added the *
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

  21. #95
    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Golden_Rule View Post

    In fact so much so that I saw many more couples who swing fall apart then stay together.

    Unfortunate, but true.

    Isn't that true of most couples in general though? Most relationships do end, after all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvia View Post
    Isn't that true of most couples in general though? Most relationships do end, after all.
    Yes, at least 50%. So my experience is that its not more than the average.

    Still I saw couple break up over things that, while not unique to swinging, were present in their lives directly because of it.

    As I said above, mostly due to violating some boundary/rule that had been set between them regarding swinging.

    Hell, the founders of Adult Links, both bi-sexual, broke up because a third party [female] moved into their home and the wife eventually felt more strongly attached to her. She and her husband broke up and the two women became a couple. Though, in fairness, last time I chatted with them they were still together.
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Veteran Member Redwolf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Quote Originally Posted by girlundressed View Post
    What can I say? Men are weird. I've known that since realizing that they would pay for foreplay in the club, but many would never do it in the bedroom lol. Some things just don't make sense.
    That is something for every guy to think about.

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    Don't know, but I'd guess that only about 10% to 20% of all couples in a comitted relationship end up getting married. And, of those that marry, we know that the divorce rate is about 50%. So its safe to say that the vast majority of monogamous relationships fall apart too.

    If jealosy and insecurity are problems for those in open relationships, they're also problems for those in monogamous relationships.

    Perhaps we could all agree that all of us need to work at overcoming our jealosies and insecurities,

    Seems to me that open couples at least deserve kudos for confronting the issue head-on. In the end ... even if a relationship crashes and burns ... just maybe they might find that they are better people for having made the effort.

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    Senior Member salemsexy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    if you cant be faithful it's real simple stay single why go throw the crap of having a realtionship when you really want to fuck around!

    pick one or the other and own it but dont say true love is your mate being ok with you fucking someone else cause thats just nuts....

    Stay single man.
    The world is full of anything you want if you just go take it! Just keep your hands off my kitty!

    http://www.adultcamgirlsnetwork.com
    www.camwealth.com
    www.camgirlsunion.com

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    Default Re: Monogamy?

    ^ That's what I've been saying (but you said it more succinctly).

    But, then again,... if there are beautiful and smart women like Princessjas & Jessie_tinydancer that will let their BFs/husbands have the best of both worlds,... the OP might have a chance to find his version of true happiness (i.e., to have his cake and eat his neighbor's cake, too).
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

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