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Thread: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

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    Default Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    I have a girl that spends all the time that i'm there with me at my favorite
    club sitting with me and dancing with me.She says she really enjoys hanging out with me.Except she likes to drink and i don't.Usually by closing
    time its hard for her to stand up and she does and says things that she doesn't remember the next day.I love just listening to her talk and she has
    the most beautiful smile,and as long as she is sober is an unbeleivable dancer.I would be happy to continue to be her regular.It really upsets me
    though that she could be drinking so much because she is extremely unhappy with what she has to do for a living or that she cannot stand me
    personally but because the money is so good she gets drunk so that she
    can tolerate me and she doesn't lose the money.She also rarely responds
    when i text her anymore and will not talk to me over the phone.Normally i
    would stop going to her club and that would resolve the having to tell her
    that it time to move on.Its my favorite club though and there are a few
    other dancers and waitresses that i enjoy talking to and seeing.There is
    another dancer that has wanted me to be her regular for a while now.What is the best way to tell current dancer that it time to move on
    without causing a scene and still allowing me and her to be friendly even
    though she will no longer be getting any of my money.Please advise.Thanks!

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    'hey bitch! aint no more money for you!'

    with a little more tact.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Lol Athena!

    This happens to me ALOT. There really is no tactful way to tell a dancer that you don't "want" her anymore. It's serious money out of her pocket, not to mention the potential hurt feelings.

    Some things that have worked for me in the past:

    1. Take a break from her club until she quits, is fired, or forgets who you are

    2. As soon as you get into the club, grab another girl quickly to sit with you

    3. If she comes over to sit with you, excuse yourself to the restroom and then go sit at another table (this one probably won't end well)

    4. If she's a somewhat rational, sane person (being continously drunk voids this one) you can tell her that you want to start having dances with other girls. Do this one at your own risk.


    I'm sure others will offer other options. Good luck.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Try giving her an incentive like "You know, I'm have more money to give you for dances if we weren't talking at the table & drinking". She'll probably pick up the hint. I know you said you aren't into liquor, but I'd assume you are still buying soda/juice & if you weren't you'd have that money for dances too.
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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    when u come in next time find the chick u want to start w and talk to her...the old chick come in b like id like to spend some time w (enter name here) ill come find you..and then try to save some $ for a few dances for her and each time u come back spend less and less $ on dances/drinks her and more on the new chick and eventually she should get the hint...id do this b4 she starts really drinking and u should be the 1 that approaches the new chick so the old chick wont think the new one was being real shady or something
    still here.... just in another chapter..

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Quote Originally Posted by brotherhood View Post
    Ior that she cannot stand me
    personally but because the money is so good she gets drunk so that she
    can tolerate me and she doesn't lose the money.
    She has gota get her beer googles on, women use them too.
    I can do better than you in a two bit fancy house

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Tell her if she doesnt want to take the "friendship" OTC then u just cant go on with her.

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    You could just tell her the truth. I think most dancers understand that regulars have an expiration date.

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    I would stop going to the club for a while. Who cares if you want to talk to the waitresses or whatever.. everyone there is for work and money, not you. So take some time off that place.

    I would NOT grab another girl to sit with you, because the other dancer might do something to her such as fight her or what not.

    If you truely want to go back, be a damn man and grow balls to tell her you wont be buying anymore dances.

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    Veteran Member bigmarv's Avatar
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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    I would just tell her the truth. If I want to stop seeing an ATF, I just say that I have missed seeing some of the other dancers that I like in the club, but would also like getting dances from her. For me I've tried to become more of a regular to the club, as opposed to a regular to a dancer.

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    This is just part of our job. Don't stress about it.

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    Veteran Member monicabi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Quote Originally Posted by zeke View Post
    Tell her if she doesnt want to take the "friendship" OTC then u just cant go on with her.
    yeah start being obnoxious about how you just want be friends and go out together she'll drop you like its hot.

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Quote Originally Posted by monicabi View Post
    yeah start being obnoxious about how you just want be friends and go out together she'll drop you like its hot.
    Haha, there's your answer!!! Lol.

    But really, you should just stop spending money on her and start talking to other girls. Slowly pull yourself away from her. She will get the point, and soon she will find someone who spends more money than you, and she'll move on as you will.

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    +1 on stop going.

    I had to stop going to my fave spot because one dancer would swoop in and sit with me before I even ordered a drink. I had one BIG night in there and she probably banked the most so I was her ATF in her head.

    When I did buy a dance or two in the hopes of having some time to enjoy other entertainers...she would swing arond the floor once and right back onto me. And her dances involved a very pointy knee in a very tender spot, so I did not really want to repeat. This went on for a few weeks, and I did ask her to ease up and let me meet other girls. It was like having a Fatal Attraction to my wallet!

    I avoided the club for 6 months (withdrawal) and I swear the day I poked my head through the door (day shift, like on a Tuesday) she was right there and read me the riot act for not coming in. I went right back out the way I came in.

    Haven't been there in ages, and won't until she disappears from the schedule.

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Quote Originally Posted by jbviper4 View Post
    +1 on stop going.

    I had to stop going to my fave spot because one dancer would swoop in and sit with me before i even ordered a drink. I had one big night in there and she probably banked the most so i was her atf in her head.

    When i did buy a dance or two in the hopes of having some time to enjoy other entertainers...she would swing arond the floor once and right back onto me. And her dances involved a very pointy knee in a very tender spot, so i did not really want to repeat. This went on for a few weeks, and i did ask her to ease up and let me meet other girls. It was like having a fatal attraction to my wallet!

    I avoided the club for 6 months (withdrawal) and i swear the day i poked my head through the door (day shift, like on a tuesday) she was right there and read me the riot act for not coming in. I went right back out the way i came in.

    Haven't been there in ages, and won't until she disappears from the schedule.
    :o lmao!

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    It's been a heck of a long time now, but based on the foggy recollections of a security dude who listened to the dancers a fair amount; um, just tell her. She'll probably figure it out when you stop showing up and giving her money. She'll probably be pissed at losing steady income but it also allows her to target some other guy's wallet and not waste time with someone who's not going to open his. In my experience, some of the dancers were pretty business like about cutting ties and some weren't. I mean, it is a rejection no matter how you look at it, so it'll probably not be fun.

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    It's serious money out of her pocket, not to mention the potential hurt feelings.
    A strip club is a mechanism for facilitating the exchange of money between (a) individuals willing to pay money to view nude human forms, and (b) individuals willing to provide such a service. It is strictly a transactional environment, so there should be no hurt feelings. So the simple answer is to simply tell the current favourite dancer that you would prefer to alter your transactional relationship. Since this conversation would occur within the confines of the club which is the mechanism for enabling such transactions, there should be no angst on the part of either the customer or the favourite dancer.
    I am not a number. I am a free man

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Miniman View Post
    A strip club is a mechanism for facilitating the exchange of money between (a) individuals willing to pay money to view nude human forms, and (b) individuals willing to provide such a service. It is strictly a transactional environment, so there should be no hurt feelings. So the simple answer is to simply tell the current favourite dancer that you would prefer to alter your transactional relationship. Since this conversation would occur within the confines of the club which is the mechanism for enabling such transactions, there should be no angst on the part of either the customer or the favourite dancer.
    Wow, that was a very Ivory Tower, textbook response

    The reality is that we are dealing with human beings with wants, needs and other emotions. If you dump a fav when she has come to enjoy or rely upon your money, she is likely going to have an emotional reaction of some type. If she is a pro. then perhaps she will just walk away, but I suspect that more times than not she will react in a negative fashion, almost invariably to the detriment of her former reg.

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Wow, that was a very Ivory Tower, textbook response
    Rick - tongue was firmly in cheek when I wrote this! I was thinking about the customer angst of "does the dancer like me?" and the dancer response of "it's a work environment, not a place to find a girlfriend" that we read ad nauseum in this forum.

    I respect the fact that we are dealing with people here. I have a favourite dancer - have had for years. Clearly if the time came for me to move on, I would not handle it the way I wrote this!
    I am not a number. I am a free man

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Why don't you email her the exact words that you posted on this thread? I think it sounds good and legit. I've had customers whom I let go of and I was very blunt to them - once this guy told me he was "madly in love with me" and it really freaked me out, and I pretty much said go away, this is not a good place for you, and in a not so polite way. Even though it reduced my earnings by 1500 a week. He was draining the shit out of me emotionally. There is another regular I have that I really want to let go of right now, and I can't seem to get rid of him. He only spends $100 but wants all of my attention for a long time and acts like a baby when I need to go. He is also getting obsessed and it's freaking me out. But the main reason I don't want to be his regular girl is because he thinks it is ok to attempt to stick his nasty finger up my bum. Not good! I understand how you feel about being unable to tell her, maybe you can act really obsessed and creepy and she will go away on her own.

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    I think I'd tell her I thought she was an alchoholic and I wasn't going to buy her any more booze because I didn't want that sin on my soul. She wouldn't be friendly (at least pre-AA) after hearing that, but at least I'd know I'd been a real friend to her. When a dancer would rather drink than dance, the odds as really, really high she has a serious drinking problem.

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    Veteran Member TinkerBall's Avatar
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    Travel Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    You can act clingy, needy, and overly anxious for a meaningful relationship. Tell her how many children you want. It helps to tell her you're close to losing your job and living with your parents. Toward the end of the night ask for one of your tip dollars back so you can buy another beer.
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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Quote Originally Posted by brotherhood View Post
    It really upsets me though that she could be drinking so much because she is extremely unhappy with what she has to do for a living or that she cannot stand me personally but because the money is so good she gets drunk so that she can tolerate me and she doesn't lose the money.
    It's more likely that she's drinking to cope with the stresses of the job. It's a slippery slope I've seen a number of dancers on. They take a drink or two because it makes it easier to work, and for a while that works. Then it takes three or four drinks, then five or six.....

    There isn't an easy solution because it seems to be the cumulative stresses of the job that is the problem. A dancer can avoid one or two problem customers, but avoiding all customers is a bit difficult...

    Phil.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I've totally stared at guys' wallets with lust in my heart
    J.D. explaining how she reacts to guys staring at her body with lust in their hearts....

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    Thumbs up Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    ... once this guy told me he was "madly in love with me" and it really freaked me out, and I pretty much said go away, this is not a good place for you, and in a not so polite way. Even though it reduced my earnings by 1500 a week. ...
    You should be very proud, that kind of decency is not so easy to find. A lot of peoople would have bled the guy dry.
    Last edited by ilbbaicnl; 09-26-2010 at 05:27 PM.

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    Default Re: Polite way to let Dancer know you no longer want to be her regular

    Quote Originally Posted by TinkerBall View Post
    You can act clingy, needy, and overly anxious for a meaningful relationship. Tell her how many children you want. It helps to tell her you're close to losing your job and living with your parents. Toward the end of the night ask for one of your tip dollars back so you can buy another beer.
    Haha...good one

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