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Thread: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

  1. #1
    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    Hey girls (and guys), so you've seen my pictures and I guess the general consensus is that I am physically ready to start dancing. I've known this for a while, as it didn't take me a long time to lose the baby weight and all that jazz. I've carefully hand selected my outfits, spent time with my son as a stay at home mom and cherished it, gotten all my make up, picked out my body wash, lotions, and body splashes, had my tattoos redone, bought my shoes, and been a member on SW for about a year. I think I'm just as prepared as I can possibly be, but I cannot get past this anxiety and fear of dancing.

    I am so nervous that I send myself into a mini anxiety attack thinking about the actual dancing part. I can handle talking to customers, and being seen in my work outfits, but I am SO nervous to actually give a lap dance or a stage performance that I think I may vomit or fall down from the apprehension. I'm worried I'll fall in front of someone or get laughed at for not dancing sexily enough. I'm also worried because I have very thick hair and it's hard to style it the way I want it to go, so I feel like I have an afro--but the new products I bought definitely help!

    Did anyone else have these initial thoughts? Am I right to assume I'll be laughed at if I fall or do something bad?

    I'm worried I'll give a customer a "poor" lap dance even if I try really hard to do good and everyone will laugh at me. I have horrible stage fright and I'm scared out of my damn mind.

    Is there anything I can do to ease into the whole first night?

    I'm thinking if I just walk somewhat slowly and carefully, keep my head up and shoulders back, smile, make eye contact, speak in a sultry voice, and don't hard hustle my first night I should be OK. That STILL doesn't get me past the actual first time I take a customer to get a lap dance... and my damn audition which is a two song set on stage. I'm worried because I feel like everyone will be watching me and if I mess up I won't get hired and they'll laugh at me as I leave empty handed, and have to tell all my friends I was too lame to get hired at a strip club . My good friend works at the club, and I took her to her audition, but I'm worried she'll laugh at me too if I don't get hired.

    My biggest fear is my actual audition...because once I get past the audition I'll have done a stage set and *hopefully* have gotten hired---so the only other thing to do is a lap dance. I'm not as nervous of giving a lap dance as I am of the actual audition.

    I'm sorry if this sounds stupid or like a rant, but I'm like having a panic attack right now because I'm so deathly terrified of being laughed at or not hired... or falling or stumbling very noticeably. I can walk good in my shoes... I've worn them in public to practice... but I'm still scared. What if I break my ankle my first night?

    Help :/... and tips on the audition/stage presence/first lap dance would be helpful. I searched "first lap dance" but nothing too helpful popped up on the first three pages.. the results didn't even seem related to my search.

    Thanks!
    -Laurisa
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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  3. #2
    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    Nothing?
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Senior Member mandy216's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    It really isnt that bad. I swear. I think i was visibly shaking when i auditioned at the club i work at now and Im not new to this at all. everyone gets the jitters and nobody moves like a pro when they are first coming in to it. Nobody is going to laugh at you and if some girl does..give her the evil eye and keep on going. You have to start somewhere. you will do just fine. i saw your pics and you're a cutie and you're gonna be fine. take a shot of liquid courage if it helps. some advise against it but I did when i first started. lol.

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  6. #4
    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    Took one of my Xanax (don't worry, they are prescribed to me), so I feel a bit better. My stomach hurts and I feel feverish though :x.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    Even when I start at a new club, I get the same anxiety.
    It's totally normal. Hopefully you'll start a club where the girls are cool. My favorite clubs have been the ones where on my first day the girls come to the stage for support.

    You WILL get use to it. Just pretend that you're dancing for yourself at home. If you can, just pretend that no one else is there. May sound corny, but let the music take you away. Your heart will pound, your hands will shake, but once you're up there....it's over with so quick.
    You'll be fine.

    As for the lap dancing part, I think being new will work to your advantage. Tell guys that you're new and you need them to take your "lap dance virginity". Always works for me at a new club.
    Majority of guys will LOVE to "teach" you, but you'll figure out what works best for you when lap dancing. I think guys in general are just happy to have a hot naked girl wiggling around on their lap.

    Good luck, you're gorgeous, you're gonna rock!

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    Just go in and take it hour by hour. I've danced for two years and sometimes that's what I STILL have to do ! I took two weeks off ( my longest break in 8 months ) and I almost panicked going in to work last Sat.
    Dancing should = money. If you aren't actually dancing, you aren't making money, so you need to go in and start collecting your cash!

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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    I just started dancing on Saturday, and was actually about to post about it in the newbie section but I saw your post and wanted to respond.

    I was nervous for a lot of the same reasons, especially about the actual dancing part.
    I have a pole at my house and had been practicing a lot in my shoes to feel more confident, and for me that really helped.

    I was nervous about the audition, but I didn't really get one. They just asked if I had my stuff, took me to the dressing room, and told one of the girls to train me.
    I was second to go up on stage and I was nervous, but feeling prepared definitely helped. My legs were still shaking a little but I just tried not to think about that and focused on the music and dancing instead.
    I did a good job for my first time, but I think that even if I hadn't it would've been okay because I'm brand new so they weren't really expecting much from me anyway. I think you might be judging yourself more harshly than a lot of the people who are going to be watching you.

    I've totally been working the newbie thing to my advantage, because like I said when people know you're new they don't expect you to have crazy dance skills so it's a lot easier to impress them, lol. Plus I think some guys do think it's sort of cute or something.
    As far as not dancing sexy enough, I can't do a lot of the cool moves the other ladies can do, I just move slow and gyrate, but I've actually had a couple customers really take a liking to me because I the way I dance was "different" from the other girls (i.e. inexperienced).


    And I definitely almost busted my ass a couple times that night!
    Once really obviously up on stage. I just laughed it off, and the other girls laughed too but not in a mean way, one girl said I'd see them all do that eventually. Then I got off the stage and tripped really bad before I even had my clothes back on, but I just laughed it off again. Another time I slipped a little on stage and I knew a (female) customer was watching me, so I just looked at her and just gave a cute little laugh and she laughed and she actually ended up tipping me a lot that night.
    I'm not trying to scare you but just say that I think the bess thing to do if you do trip or fall is to just laugh it off and try not to let yourself get too embarrassed. I know it's easier said than done.
    And I know this sounds really obvious, but make sure if your shoes have ankle straps you make sure they're tight enough. After my 4th almost spill I tightened them a little it made a world of a difference.

    Lapdances are illegal here so I don't have any advice about that really, but I'd imagine just playing up the first-time "baby stripper" thing might work there, too.

    I get really anxious about things sometimes, but I did fine and actually had a really great time. I wanted to be sober for my first night so I didn't drink anything besides one shot in my car before I even went inside (I'm really shy around new people), and I still got over the nervousness and anxiety really quickly and had fun.
    Just keep smiling and take everything as a learning experience, I'm sure you'll do great!

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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    It is normal for you to feel nervous, and you will be better off in the long run if you learn a system to overcome anxiety without resorting to popping pills!

    Here is how I do it
    Rebecca Avalon







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  14. #9
    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    Well I take my Xanax because it is prescribed to me for my entire life situation, not dancing anxiety specific, and because it's prescribed to me I am not "popping pills". I'm taking a medication that me and my doctor feels helps my situation.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Veteran Member Arianna419's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    I was scared as hell too. My first set/audition was at 9PM on a packed Saturday night. I was shaking. But I STILL get a small jitter in my tummy before every set. I'm a high anxiety person, so its gotten a lot better.

    My advice on stage dancing is to just make it look as sexy as you can. Don't try crazy tricks if you can't do them well. After 6 months, I still don't do many pole tricks, just basic spins and things. Guys tip me just as much as any other girl. In fact, most guys appreciate a slow, sexy dance more than tons of tricks. But this is probably dependent on the club, of course.

    As far as lapdances go, get one from a girl in your club. Seriously. If she is a nice girl, she will explain it to you, and probably give you the real info on how far contact goes in the club (management does tend to downplay contact levels, IMO).

    Goodluck! You're very pretty and once you get over that mental and emotional hump of the first night, it will be smooth sailing!

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    Aw, don't fret. At some point in their stripping career everyone gets laughed at - the important thing is to be able to laugh at yourself. Most of the guys who get a chuckle from one of your first stage shows are guys you'll never see again. They'll forget you and you'll forget them. Sure, there are always a few regulars who you'll see night after nights; but by now they're used to the new awkward beautiful women, and used to watching them blossom.

    The hardest part is getting started. In a month you'll laugh at the fact that you ever worried about this. Really.



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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    ........
    Last edited by charlie61; 11-25-2012 at 03:14 PM.

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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    I am going through something similar right now. I don't get as nervous as the OP about it, but I am planning on going back to the club for the first time in 16 months and I am excited. I am planning on going in next Thursday but the manager told me I will need to audition again!

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    Wow, hope you all don't mind I bumped this, outstanding! Thanks char.!

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    Hah, that thread is almost two years old! Nice to see how far I've come.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    I didn't even look at the date on the original post so I was like "huh, I thought Laurisa already was a dancer." Lol. But this post really helped me cuz I'm having some anxiety right now...so thx! :-)

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    I'm bumping this, hope you don't mind..I like Char's. post..

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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    well im new, i have an audition in 2 weeks.. can you let me know how far you've come? is stripping what you had expected? any booty tricks you could share lol

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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    I was in the exact same spot as Laurisa 2 years ago. Absolutely horrified, shaken as well as stirred Heck, before I started dancing, I didn't even OWN a pair of heels!! Yes, total tom boy. Skateboarder, breakdancer, arm wrestling tee hee :-P I believe the most important thing I could tell you would be to get lost in the music. Let it take you away from everything. Dance for yourself, and not for anyone else. When I first started, I was nothing short of horrible on stage! You will find over time you may think you like dancing to a certain genre of music, until you hear something else that strikes that lightbulb and you're like, "Hmm, that song would be so much sexier with me dancing to it!" And as for the lap dances, I had a champagne court my first night and the customer in deed told me what to do... and I still do much of the same this very day. Keep within your limits, and do not do ANYTHIING you don't want to do. You'll be much happier in the long run. Sorry for the entire book here, but I can 100% honestly say that with those tips above, I am by far the (not even self proclaimed!) best dancer at my club with 50 girls. Enjoy yourself!

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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    Giving this a Bumpie, thanks hope you all don't mind

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Starting work--fear, anxiety, etc.

    ^Unless you desperately need the money (in which case stripping is rarely fun), it really will be no big deal to return. It took a helluva lot of courage for me to do my first night back, but after I got into the club (literally after I stepped into the club), it all came rushing back. Plus, if you're returning, then you aren't burned out...which means more money!

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