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Thread: How do I help a friend in jail?

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    Featured Member Brooke's Avatar
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    Default How do I help a friend in jail?

    About a year ago, a good friend of mine fell off the face of the planet. I finally ran into someone who knew where she is and it turns out she is in jail. I want to be there for her, but I don't know how.

    I started by writing a letter and put that in the mail today with a few self-addressed stamped envelopes, in case she wants to write back. I asked in the letter how I can help, what she needs, etc. But I am afraid she will be too proud to write back at all or to tell me how to help her. I think she was too humiliated to tell anyone what was happening, and I wouldn't be surprised if she remains out of touch.

    But I love her and I really want to be there for her. I just need some ideas of HOW to be there for her. If you or a loved one has been in jail, please tell me what to do! What can I send? Cigarettes seem like such a cliche and I don't even know if its true (though I do know she was a smoker before her incarceration.) What else can people in jail have and what do they want? I would love to send her a huge care package but I wouldn't know the first thing she would need or want or be allowed to have. I really appreciate anyone who takes time to write back with some ideas. Thanks!

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    Veteran Member fast tan77's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I help a friend in jail?

    Usually you can just put some money on their "prison charge account" then they use that to shop for stuff the need. If you know the jail you can try to call about how you do that.
    I can do better than you in a two bit fancy house

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    Featured Member Brooke's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I help a friend in jail?

    I just looked online and I guess I am not really allowed to mail or send any personal items - like nothing! Even a book has to be shipped from the bookstore, not from an individual. So, I can't send anything.

    I figured out how to put money in an account for her, but I doubt she needs that. Thanks for the recommendation - I am glad to know how in case she does.

    But I guess now I am looking for more touchy-feely recommendations. I can't give or ship her anything, so what do I do to let her know that I am thinking of her and miss her? I will visit if she lets me, but I don't think she'll want me to. Is there anything I do / say / write to let her know that she is loved?

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    Featured Member pussyinboots's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I help a friend in jail?

    Quote Originally Posted by Brooke View Post
    I just looked online and I guess I am not really allowed to mail or send any personal items - like nothing! Even a book has to be shipped from the bookstore, not from an individual. So, I can't send anything.

    I figured out how to put money in an account for her, but I doubt she needs that. Thanks for the recommendation - I am glad to know how in case she does.

    But I guess now I am looking for more touchy-feely recommendations. I can't give or ship her anything, so what do I do to let her know that I am thinking of her and miss her? I will visit if she lets me, but I don't think she'll want me to. Is there anything I do / say / write to let her know that she is loved?
    Exactly that! If there's so many restrictions, then writing is the best thing to do at the moment. Put yourself in her shoes - even if she IS too proud, she's human.....so any letters will be a comfort to her. You can always make the offer of some money - or maybe even just put some in for her, and make it clear to her that it''s a gift - pure and simple.

    You never know, it's like water on a stone - once she realises that you're genuinely there for her - she may start writing back.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

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    Default Re: How do I help a friend in jail?

    A letter is the best thing she can get right now. Will be nice to hear from someone on the outside. Also, money on the account is ALWAYS nice. Doesnt have to be a lot, 20.00 or so will get her the good toothpaste, snacks,..... Jail is ROUGH. Been there. Even if you dont say a lot in your letter...for her to hear her name at mailcall will be wonderful thing for her.
    Im sure shes bored. Ask her what kind of books she likes. Most facilities will NOT allow you to send packages, or books even. You wll have to order them from the store directly and have it shipped to her at the jail..

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    Default Re: How do I help a friend in jail?

    These sites really help to give you ideas on what to send and what is happening with your friend. There are many more sites, similar to Stripperweb, but for the support of family and friends of inmates.

    http://prisonplace.com/forums/


    http://forum.prisonfamilyvillage.com/index.php
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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