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Thread: maybe this is an old joke ...

  1. #1
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default maybe this is an old joke ...

    ... I figured some comic relief was in order !


    A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter,and sees that
    it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least
    ten thousand dollars in it.He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with
    the money in the jar?"

    "Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in
    the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."

    The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three
    tests?"

    "You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."

    So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he
    stuffs into the jar.

    "Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:

    First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less,
    and you can't make a face while doing it."

    "Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have
    to remove that tooth with your bare hands."

    "Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to
    take care of that problem."

    The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't
    do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all
    those other things!"

    "Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

    As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the
    damn tequila?!"

    He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.Tears
    stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in
    58 seconds!

    Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a
    pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and
    sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!

    Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into
    the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and
    gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old
    woman with the bad tooth?"

  2. #2
    Featured Member pussyinboots's Avatar
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    Default Re: maybe this is an old joke ...

    Yep! It's as old as the hills....but still funny.

    I've got a great book, that my Daddy (of all people), gave me one Christmas. It's called 'The Bumper Book of Politically Incorrect Jokes'.....

    Wanna hear some..??
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

  3. #3
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: maybe this is an old joke ...

    I love this joke, I used to tell it all the time... it's one of the few that isn't a blonde joke which I seem to remember!
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
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  4. #4
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: maybe this is an old joke ...

    What did the proctologist say when he pulled a thermometer out of his pocket?


    Hmmmmm some asshole has my pen.

  5. #5
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: maybe this is an old joke ...

    The more scary joke is if you feel both hands of the proctologist on your shoulders.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  6. #6
    Banned zeke's Avatar
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    Default Re: maybe this is an old joke ...

    David Hasselhoff walks into a bar.....

    & he just sits there & drinks all day.


    The roast on comedy central was great....catch a replay if u missed it.

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