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Thread: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

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    Default How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Hey, this is my first post here. I was at a club last night and got approached by girls that im just not attracted to. Whats a polite way to let them know i'm just not interested so they don't waste their time trying to hustle dances from me? For those of you who have been to Cheetahs in Las Vegas know what i'm talking about. The girls there can vary from to

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Just give a pleasant smile, and say: "no, thank you" if they ask for a dance. You don't have to immediately stop them as soon as they say "Hi". You can both endure a couple of polite questions....like, it's better to waste 30 seconds, than offend the girl mid-introduction. She'll get around to asking you for a dance quickly based on your polite but unenthusiastic greeting.

    If there's a chance I'd get a dance from her later, or on another visit, I'll say: "no, thank you...perhaps another time." Always politely, and always with a friendly smile.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    I agree with Hockey Bobby, just be polite, smile and say no thanks, if your not interested. Usually I go into my local SC and order something to eat while watching the dancers go up on stage and then tip the one I want to get dances from later, after I'm thru eating. It's your money.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    They should know that different customers go for very different types and a given customer won't want LDs from every girl in the club. Therefore even if they are universally unattractive, you are not saying so just by declining an LD from them. Just say it nicely and don't brush them off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by hockeybobby View Post
    Just give a pleasant smile, and say: "no, thank you" if they ask for a dance. You don't have to immediately stop them as soon as they say "Hi". You can both endure a couple of polite questions....like, it's better to waste 30 seconds, than offend the girl mid-introduction. She'll get around to asking you for a dance quickly based on your polite but unenthusiastic greeting.

    If there's a chance I'd get a dance from her later, or on another visit, I'll say: "no, thank you...perhaps another time." Always politely, and always with a friendly smile.
    i think this is spot on. i dont like it when i say hi how are you and the guy is rude and is like "no thankyou" before i even say anything else. maybe respond with "im fine but im not ready for a dance now" if you dont want to waste any time, or 30 seconds of small talk and tell her you are not looking for a dance. i always ask customers if i can join them... at this point if i am obviously not their type they can tell me not to join them... however dont waste too much of her time. i get mad if a customer tells me i can join him then we talk for a few minutes then he informs me he only has 5$ and no atm card. although i know some girls just plop down next to you without asking to join, in this case try to tell them "i dont want to waste your time, but im not looking for a dance." and if they are smart, then they will not want their time wasted and will leave. or if they are in a mood or just a bitch-- well in this case there is no way to appease them, you are just fucked so ignore it.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    ^I'd feel rude telling a stripper I don't want her to join me. Usually strippers don't ask me, they just sit and stay as long as it suits them, depending on how much time they judge is worth to sell me. Usually they ask if I want a LD after a short chat (if any) and leave when I decline (maybe more than once if they are more persistent). So I let them join me and decide for themselves how long they should stay. They would be silly to sit with me for too long before asking me if I am interested in buying, which is the only way they are going to be able to definitely find out. It's up to them to ask, not for me to tell them. If I am not interested I don't do anything to lead them to think I might be - I just be polite and don't make it too obvious.

    Sometimes strippers chat with me a bit longer before asking if the club is not very full and they don't have many (or any) other customers to approach. It's worth it for them to take their time in that case. Sometimes they sit with me just to chat because they have time to kill and they want to look busy.

    Strippers shouldn't expect customers to know everything they are supposed to do or not do. Especially since that will vary between individual strippers. It's not like they are all trying to make your job difficult. I try to accommodate strippers as best I reasonably can but but when I first went to SCs I had little clue about what strippers liked or disliked. Paying girls to strip for me is not an everyday situation I was brought up to deal with.

    Some strippers here have said they snap at customers for things like the customer saying "I'm good" or asking when they are going on stage or saying "maybe later" when they mean "no", or saying they are not having any LDs that night and then having LDs from other girls later on. Customers who say or do those things don't necessarily intend to put the stripper out or mislead her. I think it is unbusinesslike to reprimand customers over things like that.

    I definitely won't go to a SC with only $5 on me though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    A polite 'no thank you' is fine. Don't say 'Not right now' or she may take it literally and try you again later on.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    They should know that different customers go for very different types and a given customer won't want LDs from every girl in the club. Therefore even if they are universally unattractive, you are not saying so just by declining an LD from them. Just say it nicely and don't brush them off.
    Yep, they do know that. Girls who take rejection personally shouldn't be in the business. As long as you're polite about it, you're good to go.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    i think this is spot on. i dont like it when i say hi how are you and the guy is rude and is like "no thankyou" before i even say anything else. maybe respond with "im fine but im not ready for a dance now" if you dont want to waste any time, or 30 seconds of small talk and tell her you are not looking for a dance. i always ask customers if i can join them... at this point if i am obviously not their type they can tell me not to join them... however dont waste too much of her time. i get mad if a customer tells me i can join him then we talk for a few minutes then he informs me he only has 5$ and no atm card. although i know some girls just plop down next to you without asking to join, in this case try to tell them "i dont want to waste your time, but im not looking for a dance." and if they are smart, then they will not want their time wasted and will leave. or if they are in a mood or just a bitch-- well in this case there is no way to appease them, you are just fucked so ignore it.
    Yes, I like this advice. The best thing to do, is to be polite and honest. I really HATE it when guys say "No," before I have even asked them anything or finished my sentence. Its rude. I always ask to sit down, and if the guy declines I thank them for being honest.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    ^I'd feel rude telling a stripper I don't want her to join me. Usually strippers don't ask me, they just sit and stay as long as it suits them, depending on how much time they judge is worth to sell me. Usually they ask if I want a LD after a short chat (if any) and leave when I decline (maybe more than once if they are more persistent). So I let them join me and decide for themselves how long they should stay. They would be silly to sit with me for too long before asking me if I am interested in buying, which is the only way they are going to be able to definitely find out. It's up to them to ask, not for me to tell them. If I am not interested I don't do anything to lead them to think I might be - I just be polite and don't make it too obvious.

    Sometimes strippers chat with me a bit longer before asking if the club is not very full and they don't have many (or any) other customers to approach. It's worth it for them to take their time in that case. Sometimes they sit with me just to chat because they have time to kill and they want to look busy.

    Strippers shouldn't expect customers to know everything they are supposed to do or not do. Especially since that will vary between individual strippers. It's not like they are all trying to make your job difficult. I try to accommodate strippers as best I reasonably can but but when I first went to SCs I had little clue about what strippers liked or disliked. Paying girls to strip for me is not an everyday situation I was brought up to deal with.

    Some strippers here have said they snap at customers for things like the customer saying "I'm good" or asking when they are going on stage or saying "maybe later" when they mean "no", or saying they are not having any LDs that night and then having LDs from other girls later on. Customers who say or do those things don't necessarily intend to put the stripper out or mislead her. I think it is unbusinesslike to reprimand customers over things like that.

    I definitely won't go to a SC with only $5 on me though.
    I can understand this. I think its best to always be polite and honest, but I know that most guys feel rude telling someone they can't talk to them. Even though I ask if I can join men before sitting down, I know some guys will be a 'waste of time.' I don't invest too much time before popping the question, so a few minutes of chatting isn't going to tick me off. I do wish that guys would say no thank you more often when I ask to sit, but I understand why it makes them feel like a dick to do so. I know a lot of girls just sit without asking as well. I only feel angry when guys ASK ME to sit with them and they don't tip or buy a dance. Thats deliberately wasting a dancers time.

    Some dancers get really hung up on "customer ettiquet (sp)." I don't flip out if a guy tells me he's "out of money," "maybe later," "I'm good." I won't confront him if I see him buy a dance from someone else after he says he's out of money. I don't care and its not important. A customer doesn't owe me an explanation, and perhaps he wanted to spend the last of his money on a specific girl he really liked. No problem. I've actually seen girls confront guys over this. It is completely unprofessional to do this. I agree that some dancers have serious entitlement issues, and need to back off the customers for not doing everything "right."

    I really dislike deliberate lies, like "come back in ___ minutes," or "Definetely later." Maybe isn't yes or no, so I don't take real value in that. I know some guys feel bad saying "No," so they use maybe later because it sounds nicer to them. Some dancers just need to get over it, and stop being so sensitive.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by flickad View Post
    A polite 'no thank you' is fine. Don't say 'Not right now' or she may take it literally and try you again later on.
    Quote Originally Posted by hot4ablackchick View Post
    I know some guys feel bad saying "No," so they use maybe later because it sounds nicer to them. Some dancers just need to get over it, and stop being so sensitive.
    Strippers here were complaining about the "maybe later" response in another thread. I too used to think it was a nicer alternative to "no". I also said it if I really hadn't made my mind up about the stripper who approached me and hadn't yet properly scoped all the other strippers in the club to decide who I wanted to buy from and who not.

    But I stopped saying it when one stripper took it to mean after she sat and chatted to me for five or ten minutes. I didn't realize she thought this and got very confused that she was sitting with me but not really talking to me and not looking happy. I didn't want her to think I was ignoring her but I also didn't want to mislead her by chatting, so I talked to her a little. Then she asked me again if I want a LD and when I said no she accused me of tricking her into sitting with me for no reason and and wasting her time. Even so, however she interpreted "later" she should still have understood that "maybe" doesn't mean "yes".

    There were some other awkward instances before that when strippers would come back later and ask again and eventually I would have to say no anyway. Trying to be tactful was backfiring on me so I decided to just say "no" if I don't immediately want an LD with a stripper when she approaches me and then ask for her later if I decide I do want her.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by hot4ablackchick View Post
    Some dancers get really hung up on "customer ettiquet (sp)." I don't flip out if a guy tells me he's "out of money," "maybe later," "I'm good." I won't confront him if I see him buy a dance from someone else after he says he's out of money. I don't care and its not important. A customer doesn't owe me an explanation, and perhaps he wanted to spend the last of his money on a specific girl he really liked. No problem. I've actually seen girls confront guys over this. It is completely unprofessional to do this. I agree that some dancers have serious entitlement issues, and need to back off the customers for not doing everything "right."
    My view also. The strippers aren't paying the customers, so the customers don't act in whatever way is convenient for the strippers. If it were all about what is convenient for strippers they would not have to turn up to the club at all. Strippers have to work to get paid and that means doing what is convenient for the customer. The only obligation on the customer is some consideration for the stripper. Strippers don't do anything more than they have to for money, and do whatever makes them money, so customers are entitled to do what suits themselves. Neither is directly concerned with the interests of the other.

    However, that doesn't mean I don't want strippers to tell me what they like or don't like.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by hockeybobby View Post
    Just give a pleasant smile, and say: "no, thank you" if they ask for a dance. You don't have to immediately stop them as soon as they say "Hi". You can both endure a couple of polite questions....like, it's better to waste 30 seconds, than offend the girl mid-introduction. She'll get around to asking you for a dance quickly based on your polite but unenthusiastic greeting.

    If there's a chance I'd get a dance from her later, or on another visit, I'll say: "no, thank you...perhaps another time." Always politely, and always with a friendly smile.
    actually i would very much appreciate a no midsentence than even 5 seconds of small talk. i would rather stand alone by myself and not talk to anyone (if there is no one around at all), than to talk to someone who is wasting my time even if it is 1 minute. maybe that makes me seem kind of emotionless/unfriendly but i am not there to make new friends.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    actually i would very much appreciate a no midsentence than even 5 seconds of small talk. i would rather stand alone by myself and not talk to anyone (if there is no one around at all), than to talk to someone who is wasting my time even if it is 1 minute. maybe that makes me seem kind of emotionless/unfriendly but i am not there to make new friends.
    I wish there was some button or ribbon you could wear to clue me that you are one of those who feel this way, and I would be happy to oblige you. I am actually one of those who is in the club to make new friends, not as in people who actually become part of my life, but SC acquaintances that I enjoy spending time with and money on. I am not so much oriented to body type in my search, it's more about personality. So it takes more than 5 or 30 or 60 seconds for me to get an idea if we might hit it off. Doesn't anyone in a sales situation have to be willing to spend a little time overcoming initial resistance from a new, potential customer?

    FWIW, I don't spend much time in crowded clubs at peak times, so if you waste 3-4 minutes on me it shouldn't cost you very much. But if that's too much, you can try "wanna dance" instead of "may I sit down".

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    I am waiting for someone. No! REALLY! Do I have to say it again?! I AM WAITING FOR SOMEONE!!

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    actually i would very much appreciate a no midsentence than even 5 seconds of small talk. i would rather stand alone by myself and not talk to anyone (if there is no one around at all), than to talk to someone who is wasting my time even if it is 1 minute. maybe that makes me seem kind of emotionless/unfriendly but i am not there to make new friends.
    If a customer is immediately sure he doesn't want a dance with you, he probably feels the same way. We just don't want strippers mad at us or with hurt feelings.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    actually i would very much appreciate a no midsentence than even 5 seconds of small talk. i would rather stand alone by myself and not talk to anyone (if there is no one around at all), than to talk to someone who is wasting my time even if it is 1 minute. maybe that makes me seem kind of emotionless/unfriendly but i am not there to make new friends.
    eh. in theory i agree. but i also don't like how it looks to customers if i get rejected immediately or am standing by myself. so i like to make pleasant small talk. though, i've sort of developed unspoken agreements with some dancer's regulars that he will help me look busy and friendly while i help keep other girls from hustling him while he waits for her. then when she comes out, i tell him it was nice to talk to him and leave. it works well, since i know he won't be trying to get a free grope, and he knows i won't ask for dances.

    to me, it's one thing if a guy is keeping me around to lead me on or to listen to his stupid stories because he's lonely, but doesn't want to pay for company.

    i've had some of my best nights after having pleasant convos with custies who were waiting for someone else or killing a little time before leaving because the girl they came to see wasn't working. it upped my energy and mood, and guys who had money and liked my look noticed. not to mention, i've also had a few friendly convos that ended in substantial tips, which is also quite nice.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by miamia4me View Post
    I am waiting for someone. No! REALLY! Do I have to say it again?! I AM WAITING FOR SOMEONE!!
    This is usually true since I primarily go in to see favorites, so I often find myself saying this. It can backfire if the fave I'm waiting for is tied up for a long time, and I'm sitting there alone for what seems like forever, fending off a constant "wanna dance" barrage. I sometimes will get a few dances from others while waiting, but always make it clear that I'm waiting for someone and will only get a couple of dances from them.

    Also, I think most dancers interpret "maybe later" as a no, so if I really want them to come back later I'm very clear about it, like "I'm waiting for someone right now, but would love to get some dances with you after your next stage set. Will you come back then?" They almost almost always come back unless they are enormously popular and get tied up with every custy between me and the stage.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by azdd View Post
    This is usually true since I primarily go in to see favorites, so I often find myself saying this. It can backfire if the fave I'm waiting for is tied up for a long time, and I'm sitting there alone for what seems like forever, fending off a constant "wanna dance" barrage. I sometimes will get a few dances from others while waiting, but always make it clear that I'm waiting for someone and will only get a couple of dances from them.

    Also, I think most dancers interpret "maybe later" as a no, so if I really want them to come back later I'm very clear about it, like "I'm waiting for someone right now, but would love to get some dances with you after your next stage set. Will you come back then?" They almost almost always come back unless they are enormously popular and get tied up with every custy between me and the stage.
    Sounds good to me. I like when people are honest about waiting for someone. If I know the girl they're waiting for just went into VIP I'll tell them that and ask if they'd like to dance with me while they're waiting. I generally get a yes or no quickly after that, so I don't waste anyone's time.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    When I get to the club, I want to chill out for a little bit, relax, have a couple of drinks before I start in on dances. I do enjoy company during that time though. I often have girls that approach me right away asking about dances, or visiting for a couple of minutes and then asking about dances. I will explain that I just want to hang out for a little while first before I am ready for dances. Even when I say "Definitely later", many of them don't come back. It is tough when it is a girl I would really like to get a dance from, but just wasn't ready.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    ^ a lot of guys come in wanting a dance right away, then complain that girls don't ask them fast enough.

    if you really want the girl, remember her name, and ask a staff member to call her over when you're ready for her. and remember, she might be busy, and you may have missed out.

    most dancers have heard so many guys say later, we just don't waste our time. i can't tell you how many guys have told me they definitely wanted me to dance for them later, who were totally talking shit. if they want me, they'll find me. i'm not going back a million times so they can get another free grope before telling me they still aren't ready.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    ^Customers grope you out on the floor? Grope you where?
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    ^Customers grope you out on the floor? Grope you where?
    This happens all the time in the Providence RI clubs. It was also fairly common in Tampa the last time I was there.

    To be fair, there are also dancers in both of those cities who say "hello" by grabbing a guys crotch through his pants...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    Tell me "No thank you. I'm looking for a (blond, brunette, ebony, etc) girl tonight."

    And tell me this BEFORE I waste any time talking to you.

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    Default Re: How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?

    say "I'm broke" quickest way to make that girl walk away

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