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Thread: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

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    Veteran Member gypsydancer's Avatar
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    Default Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    So I am quitting, closing up this little chapter of my life and getting on with it. So i wanted to list a few things I learned, a few things I will miss and a few things I am excited to leave behind.

    I learned...
    -that i can actually be pretty confident and assertive.
    -i can perform on stage easier than i can do public speaking. who knew? lol

    What I wish I hadn't learned...
    - How mean customers and fellow dancers can be
    - Thousands of bizarre / disturbing/ destructive things that people do
    - That I can be jealous.

    what i will miss...
    -the funny things that happened regularly
    - a few nice/funny girls
    -feeling like one of the most normal people in a room. lol
    -pole tricks, but i will just get a home pole i suppose

    what i will not miss...
    -feeling crappy if i didnt make money
    -the awkwardness of being rejected nightly
    -getting pissed when nobody watched me when i finally would get on stage after 35 other girls.
    -the nasty things some customers said
    -the awkwardness of having someone fall in "love" with me
    -all the comments on not living up to my potential
    -attempting to beat around the bush about what i do for work



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    Featured Member Christany's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    Quote Originally Posted by gypsydancer View Post
    S
    -pole tricks, but i will just get a home pole i suppose
    Yes girl! The home pole is like chicken soup for the stripper soul. Can't beat the workout benefits that come with it (and no 35 girl wait)
    Quote Originally Posted by markx View Post
    I'd have to have a "4 simease twin strippers gave me head and then lite themselves on fire" story to blow anybody's mind here.

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    Senior Member Jewel21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    So I quit dancing in February, 7 months ago, and I'm having a hard time not going back. I have a law degree, and a great government job. That's everything I ever wanted and worked for yet I still miss and think of dancing all the time. So thanks for that list...here is mine.

    Things I miss:

    - Dressing up and buying outfits
    - Getting all glammed up
    - The fun girls that I got to know through out the years
    - The social aspect of the job
    - Stage. Definitely stage and pole tricks ( my roomate has a pole at home but it's just not the same as in a club)
    - The thrill of being next on stage on a super busy Friday night when the atmosphere is great
    - The thrill of counting your money at the end of the night not knowing what you made and being surprised you made more than you expected.
    - The regular costumers who were actually nice

    Things I don't miss:
    - Having to hide what I do on the weekends to most people and my family
    - Having to work on a shity night and feeling bad cause I didn't make money
    - Feeling self concious because I didn't feel as hot as I used to
    - The rude custies
    - Guys who try to touch where they're not supposed to. Yes they're the rude custies but |I feel they deserved their own category
    - Feeling like I have to get drunk to make money
    - Talking to dumb ass guys who think they're smarter than me and who have no idea who I am or what I do outside the club and not really being able to tell them.

    I realy feel like I'd like to go back from time to time but my bf really does not agree and it would hurt his feelings if I went. I know all the girl power stripperwebbers are gonna hate me for saying this but it does matter to me. I don't want to hurt his feelings and I understand why it would hurt him. That being said, I can't stop thinking about stripping since I quit...I feel like I left a little part of me on that stage as cheesy as this sounds. It made me who I was and now that part is gone and I haven't found anything to replace it. Does anyone else feel that way? What do you do to fele better? I swear this is worse than drug addicion for me.

    I wouldn't want to go back full time, just once in a while. I don't really need the money it's more for the ufn of it. I mean don't get me wrong the cash would be nice, but it's more than that for me.

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    Veteran Member gypsydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    I have been considering going back every other weekend but am afraid I will get sucked back in...It would be nice for the $ but also its just like a thrill seeking behavior for me .

    I just think its time for me to move on from it, I m about to be getting engaged and starting school again as soon as possible. dancing would interfere with both of these things for me...i tend to think well i can make a lot doing this so why should I do anything else? Then I get lazy. I am going to be starting a Computer Aided Drafting program and should not be getting lazy. That being said I could dance for a month and pay all the money I need for school. So its a hard decision. Ive been out of the club for a month, I can go back, Im just not psychologically in stripper mode. Im in my nerd mode. lol. Now that im out , itd be easy to stay out, think if i go back for a month , I might not leave after a month.

    Also with my boyfriend (soon to be fiance) he doesnt like it, and not for the typical reasons. He doesnt like me getting down on myself on the days I dont make money. He also doesnt like knowing that guys are so rude. Also, im happier when im not dancing,with my personality, its hard for me to be around people doing destructive things to themselves. Especially when Im really familiar with them like the girls I have worked with for almost two years. One of the first friends I made dancing, has since changed form happy and healthy, to crazy moody and sickly thin from drugs. Its hard to watch these things, and run around pretending to be happy and charming.



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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    gypsy (i have a dancer friend named gypsy!), you are right. if anything, something i hate about dancing is that it has made me repulsed with humanity. like, seriously, men treat women like THAT? management talks to employees like THAT? women are THAT mean to other women?
    and the feeling bad when you don't make money, even if you don't need money, you just feel badly anyway.

    get names and phone numbers of the people you love. keep in touch with them. that'll help a lot.

    every time i quit and go back, it's because i miss ____________ and her phone got cut off or some bullshit and i need more shenanigans in my life.

    or, instead of working weekends, can you start doing some stripper service? like hair extensions? or selling costumes? that way, you can still be in the environment a couple times a week without having to deal with the nonsense?

    i always wanted to be a housemom. i thought that'd be the perfect medium for me.

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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    I haven't worked in two years now. I miss:

    - the money
    - the feeling you get when you have a really good busy night
    - being on stage, especially watching myself dance in the mirror (I know, I'm really shallow)
    - getting to see hot girls naked!

    I don't miss:

    - rude customers
    - drama between dancers
    - bad nights.

    When you have a good night it's the best job in the world, when you have a bad night it's the worst job in the world. Sometimes I'd be down on myself for days when I'd do badly and/or a customer was a jerk so I see what you're saying, Gypsy.
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

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    Veteran Member gypsydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    I think I will just make a clean break now that Ive already been gone a month (it was a trial quit) lol.
    Noelle I definetly know what you mean about watching yourself on stage. I love the clothes, the shoes, being able to wear wild makeup. I really like pole tricks but I dont like getting naked and being ignored. Mentally its very weird.



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    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    haven't worked full time since last year, at all since jan.

    What i miss:

    -the physicality of the job...i enjoyed the workout i got
    -pole tricks
    -slutty outfits/having an excuse to buy them and the shoes

    what i dont miss:

    -everything else!
    -asshole customers
    -the stress
    -the management (in 99% of the cases)
    -the hours fucking with my life (i only worked nights)
    -the drive
    -the bitchy, self destructive women...all of whom were convinced they were not self destructive
    -the unknown earnings. i made anywhere from $1000 to $250 any given night (not doing high contact or extras. just felt i needed to put this in).
    -pretending to like the guys
    -i coukld go on and on....

    i dont miss it. i miss the pole, but thats it. the money could be nice, yes, but not consistently enough to make it worth it to me. Everyone around me saw how stressed it made me.

    could i go back to a stage only club a few times a month? yes. lap dances? not a shot in hell.'

    for the record, i never did anything buy full nude alcohol bars in MD/VA/DC.

    i've been so much happier having quit. I did it from summer of '04 till jan '10. that was enough for me.

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    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    I am getting close to retirement (less then a year til I graduate) and I also have mixed feelings. Like Noelle said, on a good night this feels like the best job in the world but on a bad night it feels like the worst. I'm excited about moving on and starting my career and working normal hours but I know how difficult it will be to quit. I've been dancing for over 10 years and it has become a part of who I am.

    I like this thread. Maybe we should start a stripper recovery section. Lol! Seems like a lot of us are in the same predicament. :-/

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    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    Stripper recovery section--good idea!!!

    I haven't stripped in a year. But sometimes I think about going back just one or two nights a week. If I wasn't afraid of jeopardizing my awesome day job, I might do it.

    WHAT I MISS

    -More than anything, the flexibility. Being able to do whatever I felt like with the time I wasn't in the club. Going to coffee shops in the middle of the day. Taking weeks off at time. Having all the time I wanted to devote to my own creative projects. The pole. Feeling like a badass when I paid for stuff with stripper cash. Feeling different and edgier than people with straight jobs. The fascinating, fucked up stories and sides of human nature I got exposed to.

    WHAT I DON'T MISS

    How isolated it made me from other people. Concealing it from the majority of my friends, family, etc. How lazy and unmotivated I was. How much of my free time I wasted. The extras in the club. Having to kiss ass to jerk customers. Losing my sex drive. The maintenance involved (hair, makeup, shaving). The heavy contact, getting groped, fingered, assaulted by customers. My inability to enforce my boundaries because I was afraid of losing money. The feeling that I wasn't using my talents and skills. Never knowing how much money I'd bring home, the restless, endless hustle.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    I really respect all of you ladies for having the courage to leave this business. So many (intelligent, beautiful, witty, amazing) women get sucked into stripping and can't stop coming back. It becomes their lives. I have seen women leave to start their own business in other states with the money they've earned, only to be back in my club a month later, broke.

    I hope to have the same courage when I come to that time in my life when I need to leave this behind. I imagine that the benefits of leaving will far outweigh the negatives.

    I miss the small things from my pre-stripping life. I look forward to the day when I can get a bugbite or a bruise and not freak out since no one will be looking at my naked body except for my SO. I look forward to being able to have a 'fat day' and not give a shit. I look forward to not having to wonder if I missed any stray hairs on my genitalia (god forbid!). To not having to worry that someone will say something awful to me at work. To not have to fear assault as I fend for myself in VIP. You know, the small things.

    Anyway, thank you for this thread. Rock on, ladies!

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    Veteran Member chitownchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    The thrill of counting your money at the end of the night not knowing what you made and being surprised you made more than you expected


    Jewel 21 - i miss this everyday
    "I need a Win Dixie grocery bag full of money right now to the vip section...."

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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    Thank you so much for starting this thread! You have no idea. I've been dealing with some of these mixed emotions since I stopped dancing at the beginning of the summer for an internship.

    And I couldn't have said this better...

    Quote Originally Posted by Winged Dinghy View Post
    But sometimes I think about going back just one or two nights a week. If I wasn't afraid of jeopardizing my awesome day job, I might do it.
    What upsets me the most about wanting to dance on the side is that it WOULD affect my day job. If it got around that I dance, people wouldn't hesitate to shit talk. But no one would think twice about the fact that a co-worker went INTO the club in the first place.

    Fuck double standards.

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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    I really like this thread... I am in the "transitioning phase" now also, and am just about to graduate from school. deep down I am terrified that everything I have worked so hard for, I wont like or wont be able to quite cut it and wont fit in as a "normal" person. There are so many bad sides to dancing... and many of you named alot of them, but what really scares me..is that the reason I became a dancer was so I could finish school and have a better life, and now that I'm almost to that point, I'm not so sure it means so much to me anymore... I mean... the level and extent of how human nature is has really jaded me, and im not so sure im going to fit in or ever feel so "safe" in this world like i used to before i was dancing. I have also been hiding the fact that Ive been a dancer for so many years, that I seriously wont know what to say when I really am gone and at a"real" job all the time... I wont miss all the "politics" of the club, but I'll miss those girls who made me laugh and got me thru the bad days... i'll miss the dancing, and the power and the money... ill even miss the wonderful little escape dancing gives me from my own life and the thrill of being someone completely different than myself... Ill miss dressing up ...and the funny shit that happens in the dressing rooms when ur getting ready... but i wont miss that ugly feeling i get after a bad night, that sometimes sits with me for days .. or having to degrade myself to make more $$... or being touched by people that i dont wanna be touched by... or lieing, or using, or losing my sex drive, and resenting men... and the other 10 million things that mess with me about this job... but yea dancer recovery is an awesome idea!!! I was actually thinking of going to regular therapy while i make this transition just to make the transistion, as its been a part of my life for so long...like some of you... Its a huge part of who ive become.

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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    i like this thread too!
    i quit 2 years ago, got back into it "every other weekend" which turned into full time. now i'm done again, as of a year ago. finished school, got a job and moved in with the boyfriend. but god DAMN do i miss it sometimes.
    i think most of you ladies nailed it down already, but here's mine:

    what i miss:
    -the high energy lifestyle...always busy, buying shit, fast money, working out, etc
    -my stripper body...lean, toned, tanned, nails did hair did...the way i carried myself with confidence cuz i KNEW i was so fuckin sexy
    -the pole, the stage
    -the funny, helpful, girls
    -partying

    what i dont miss:
    -partying (...yikes...)
    -nasty dudes who make me hate men
    -the feeling after a shitty night
    -the schedule
    -the lying, conniving bitches

    to do:
    -get manicure/pedicure/facial
    -buy home pole

    <3

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    Default Re: Quitting dancing. Pros and Cons

    Great thread!

    I've been retired for about three years now and am considering coming out of retirement but I think i have finally come to enjoy civvy life!

    The things i miss are the same as a lot of others: the dressing up, the money, the cameraderie. But I have found other outlets - I started regular dancing again, jazz and commercial stuff and now i do music videos and that kind of thing so I still get the performing and hair, nails, tan, dressing up aspect. Plus I have time to spend with my actual OTC friends now and we do so much cool stuff at times when I would previously have been at work - gigs, theatre, art shows, parties etc. So much so that I am reluctant to go back to stripping as i'd miss my real life.

    I do miss the money though

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