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Thread: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

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    Default Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    For the girls out there that have dated married guys, do you prefer the wedding ring on or off during your 1-on-1 time outside the club?

    I always wear my wedding ring in the club. I was wondering if I should take it off when meeting a girl outside the club.

    I'm sure my current fav knows I'm married. I wear my ring in the club and don't hide it. When we had our first date, I forgot to remove my ring until about 15 minutes in. After taking it off, I felt very self conscious. She never seemed to indicate that she noticed I removed it.

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Fred View Post
    She never seemed to indicate that she noticed I removed it.
    Women are KEENLY aware of rings once a date occurs. I had a guy hit on me (not inside the club) who I went out with one time. He shows up at my door with his ring on... & I had no clue he was married until our "date".

    Chances are if she's seen you more than once she knows you are married. This is going to sound weird, but when I'm giving lap dances I often check for a ring or if the bump/divet is where a ring normally would be... it takes awhile for that to go away. I know guys will spend money either way, but if they are married HOW MUCH they spend often has to do with their relationship status (good or bad) with their wife. Whether he's wearing his ring or not often clues me into that status.

    I think the best way to answer your question depends on how the dancer is. If she is also married then you probably are fine wearing your ring... more than likely she will wear hers & taking it off a ring means risking losing it. Most women don't want to look like they are single & out with a married man - so it's better for both to just wear their rings. If she's single... ask her about it so she doesn't feel like you are trying to hide something from her.

    I think the better question is - why do you feel the need to see this dancer OTC when you are already married?
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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    ^^now there's an awkward question

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    Member Fred's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    I've been "seeing her" ITC for about 2 months. She's not married.

    There are plenty of married guys with a girl on the side.

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Are you for real with this question?...

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Sure, plenty of people cheat. It doesn't make it right. As a married woman this question makes me sad.
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    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Paid extra-marital sex is less likely to destroy a marriage than unpaid extra-marital sex. What should be done when a marriage is good except in the sexual aspect?
    1. Suck it up, forget about sex?
    2. Pay somebody for sex who has no emotional interest in the married person?
    3. Have an affair with someone who may want to break up the marriage?
    4. Get a divorce?
    Maybe # 1 is the most ethical choice, but it's a very hard choice. # 2 seems like the most realistic choice. But it gets even more complicated when, if # 2 is done with honesty with the spouse, that will automatically lead to # 4.

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    ^^^ Neither situation will come off much better to the spouse being cheated on. However, knowing that your S.O. has been with only 1 other person & that their relationship held genuine interest versus knowing that your S.O. was with someone who sleeps with multiple people in a day... HUGE difference.
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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    The question isn't should he have sex outside of marriage..Its.. should I wear my ring to make you feel more comfortable..lol..

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    ^^^ Neither situation will come off much better to the spouse being cheated on. However, knowing that your S.O. has been with only 1 other person & that their relationship held genuine interest versus knowing that your S.O. was with someone who sleeps with multiple people in a day... HUGE difference.
    Does it change things if the cheater uses a condom in any case when they cheat?

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by unbeleavable View Post
    The question isn't should he have sex outside of marriage..Its.. should I wear my ring to make you feel more comfortable..lol..
    Exactly, & I already responded to that.
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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by ilbbaicnl View Post
    Does it change things if the cheater uses a condom in any case when they cheat?
    If it were me I'd say no... because you can catch disease with or without them. Most people are less paranoid about disease than I am though... so I would say that is probably a case-by-case basis. Most people would probably hope that the S.O. would use a condom if cheating... but if they do cheat (especially with someone who has sex regularly for money) - would you really want to be with that person sexually again?
    Don't you ever sleep?
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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by unbeleavable View Post
    The question isn't should he have sex outside of marriage..Its.. should I wear my ring to make you feel more comfortable..lol..
    No I think he's concerned that the P4P girl is going to feel more guilty being reminded that he's married if she's looking at his ring while they're doing it.

    My guess is no, but I suppose it's possible. She also might get nervious if he take it off. It might give her the impression he's thinking to leave his wife for a relationship with her.

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    If it were me I'd say no... because you can catch disease with or without them. Most people are less paranoid about disease than I am though... so I would say that is probably a case-by-case basis. Most people would probably hope that the S.O. would use a condom if cheating... but if they do cheat (especially with someone who has sex regularly for money) - would you really want to be with that person sexually again?
    You're asking me? I'm an aberrant case I think, I'd rather share a happy woman than own a miserable one. I think promiscuous but protected sex is probably much less risky than driving a car (especially the way I drive).

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    My guess is he thinks he can get more without a ring on..he doesn't care how she feels..its all just manipulation.

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by ilbbaicnl View Post
    You're asking me? I'm an aberrant case I think, I'd rather share a happy woman than own a miserable one. I think promiscuous but protected sex is probably much less risky than driving a car (especially the way I drive).
    Good for you - especially if you feel it's less risky! I have a ton of respect for couples in open relationships. Personally I'm beginning to really believe the the only thing really safe is abstaining from sex. I guess the good thing about that is I'm more focused during lap dances!
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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    ...This is going to sound weird, but when I'm giving lap dances I often check for a ring or if the bump/divet is where a ring normally would be... it takes awhile for that to go away. I know guys will spend money either way, but if they are married HOW MUCH they spend often has to do with their relationship status (good or bad) with their wife. Whether he's wearing his ring or not often clues me into that status.
    ...
    Threadjack, but why do you need to guess how much he's going to spend? Is it to decide if you should sit with him after the dances to see if he'll buy another batch of them?

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    ^^^ That too... but generally it can also indicate how likely he is to become a regular.

    I'd rather invest more time with a guy who will spend lots over a period of time then a guy who might buy a few dances in a night & then I never see him again. You might say I actually prefer doing business with the same people as opposed to having to find new ones all the time. I do enough hunting simply because I travel so much... but many of the customers I do stay in contact with as well & once in awhile I'm lucky enough to have them come visit me at a club in another city.
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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    I think leave the ring on but I am also married, so for me the ring on means ...yay! this guy is not going to stalk or harass me. I swing with my husband too and we prefer married couples. I like it if their rings are still on because Im a sick fuck and it turns me on to know Im shagging someone else's husband. LOL

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Fred View Post
    For the girls out there that have dated married guys, do you prefer the wedding ring on or off during your 1-on-1 time outside the club?

    I always wear my wedding ring in the club. I was wondering if I should take it off when meeting a girl outside the club.

    I'm sure my current fav knows I'm married. I wear my ring in the club and don't hide it. When we had our first date, I forgot to remove my ring until about 15 minutes in. After taking it off, I felt very self conscious. She never seemed to indicate that she noticed I removed it.
    Do you mean date w/ a stripper as friends or for sex? And in date outside the club or inside? sex.. no sex?

    Im a stripper and I dont meet customers OTC. I dont care if they are wearing a ring or not. I always look though, it helps me somehow guide the conversation - but for LDs I dont care if there is a ring or no, since Im not going to have sex with you etc.I think she doesnt care though - if you're already having sex w/ her its all for money. She couldnt careless about you. Sorry but fix your marriage first before feeling guilty, since it cleary shows you are.

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by ilbbaicnl View Post
    No I think he's concerned that the P4P girl is going to feel more guilty being reminded that he's married if she's looking at his ring while they're doing it.

    My guess is no, but I suppose it's possible. She also might get nervious if he take it off. It might give her the impression he's thinking to leave his wife for a relationship with her.
    0.01% chance for her thinking that.

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    Good for you - especially if you feel it's less risky! I have a ton of respect for couples in open relationships. Personally I'm beginning to really believe the the only thing really safe is abstaining from sex. I guess the good thing about that is I'm more focused during lap dances!
    It's all hypothetical. It hurt my wife that I wasn't jealous of her, she thought it meant I loved her less.

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    0.01% chance for her thinking that.
    Why? I'm not saying she'd want that, the opposite, she'd be afraid of being in that drama, having to get rid of the guy.

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Fred View Post
    For the girls out there that have dated married guys, do you prefer the wedding ring on or off during your 1-on-1 time outside the club?

    I always wear my wedding ring in the club. I was wondering if I should take it off when meeting a girl outside the club.

    I'm sure my current fav knows I'm married. I wear my ring in the club and don't hide it. When we had our first date, I forgot to remove my ring until about 15 minutes in. After taking it off, I felt very self conscious. She never seemed to indicate that she noticed I removed it.
    people typically only remove their wedding rings when they are doing something wrong and feel guilty^^^

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    Default Re: Wedding ring on or off when meeting OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by noelle View Post
    Sure, plenty of people cheat. It doesn't make it right. As a married woman this question makes me sad.

    ditto.

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