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Thread: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    I hated cops while dancing. I know I've mentioned this but the worst bachelor party I ever did was for cops. Rude and mean when I told them blowjobs were NOT available. After that I turned down any party for them.

    Anyway, back to the original topic, it's very hard to date while dancing. I had a boyfriend while I started dancing (and lived with one) but after him had a string of short term boyfriends. It's a very hard industry to date in. I think this is why many date people in the industry. However, this also can cause trouble (I was so jealous when I dated a DJ and he worked with other girls). In general I've either found guys who thought dancing made me a whore or guys who didn't want to date me because of it. The ones who generally didn't care were either in the industry or had bad habits (a few were druggies).

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    My bf and I have been together for 5 years and I've only been dancing the past year and a half. He's fucking awesome and open-minded. Not all guys are the same, by a longshot. He understands how hard it is to make money in this economy and that the money im making is allowing me to take the cat to the vet and put gas in the car and maybe see a dentist and go for a medical checkup one of these days! (no health insurance yet, blah). Hell maybe when money picks up in my club again I can even go back to repaying my old student loans and debt. It's just hard to argue with all that you know?

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    My love life blew when I was stripping. Lap dances killed my sex drive. Being around men felt like work. Doing my hair and makeup when I wasn't at the club felt like work. Being social felt like work. Hiding what I did from everyone didn't make intimate relationships possible. Physical intimacy seemed pointless if I wasn't being paid for it.

    However, I did work in high-contact clubs, and I have historically been bad at relationships, so your experience may be different.

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    wow, so many mixed thoughts. thank you everyone for your opinions/stories. Im gonna find me a sexy out fit and do an amateur night.

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    I think it really does depend on the relationship and the people involved, but here's my situation.
    I haven't been dancing very long (about 2 months), but my boyfriend doesn't mind at all. In fact, he's very supportive. He gives me pep talks and helps me practice new moves.
    I work in a very strict topless no contact club, which might make a difference for some guys but he's actually encouraged me to try full nude full contact clubs because he knows I'd make more money.
    He is not a jealous person at all, which is important.
    The only thing he asks is not to hear about certain things, mostly customer-related.
    I would also never want him to visit me at work.


    One thing that has changed is that we don't have sex as much. I don't know if it's anything to do with actually being a stripper, or just the fact that we work opposite schedules and have both been really busy. It could also be something else not related to my job at all.

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I hated cops while dancing. I know I've mentioned this but the worst bachelor party I ever did was for cops. Rude and mean when I told them blowjobs were NOT available. After that I turned down any party for them.
    (a few were druggies).
    you know, theres always the grap twist and pull method.....wait no...then you would have to danger your self by putting you at risk of an std, crap never mind...lol better yet tell that you would do it if they changed your bloody tampon with their mouth before you could do anything
    or ...
    You could just have gotten their badge numbers and reported them for attempt of (what ever the heck that word is for those dudes that pay for sex)
    i think the more disturbing the better
    anyway man im sorry you struggled with bfs, im sure you will find your SO one day, same goes for everyone else in here.......yes i know im both, bubbly and demented

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by missmayes666 View Post
    you know, theres always the grap twist and pull method.....wait no...then you would have to danger your self by putting you at risk of an std, crap never mind...lol better yet tell that you would do it if they changed your bloody tampon with their mouth before you could do anything
    or ...
    You could just have gotten their badge numbers and reported them for attempt of (what ever the heck that word is for those dudes that pay for sex)
    i think the more disturbing the better
    anyway man im sorry you struggled with bfs, im sure you will find your SO one day, same goes for everyone else in here.......yes i know im both, bubbly and demented
    Thanks. Right now there's someone I hope works out and strangely I met him at a club. I wish all guys were classy but we all know there are many jerks. Luckily I had a somewhat straight head on my shoulders when I started dancing (and worked no contact clubs basically). Otherwise I think it would have messed with my mind.

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    Thanks. Right now there's someone I hope works out and strangely I met him at a club. I wish all guys were classy but we all know there are many jerks. Luckily I had a somewhat straight head on my shoulders when I started dancing (and worked no contact clubs basically). Otherwise I think it would have messed with my mind.
    awesome, good for you, i hope it works out for ya. i don't think its a bad thing that you met him in a club. you just had that spontaneous moment where you felt a right connection with the guy, just don't let your guard down

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    We fuck all the time and his ex is out unless its about the kids. He did it all on his own, I didn't even know about it!
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    Dating for real is pretty hard. I just got my heart smashed to pieces by someone who was my customer, then we started dating, we fell in love and he left his wife... everything's going great. Then suddenly he tells me he's in love with a woman from his work and that's that. I talk to him a week later for a little closure, and ask him if he had any issues with me being a stripper that he never mentioned, and he mentions 3 issues he had, none of which being jealousy. The whole thing was a great learning experience.

    It was really really hard for me to work when I was in love with him though. I have been at my club for 3yrs now and getting really good at it, and I was not looking to fall in love at all until I'm done dancing in less than 2yrs. But it happened, and it fucked up my game at work.
    Thankfully I'm not totally stupid and I didn't dump my SDs right away.

    I find the only way I can date, is to date married men for money, to keep it 100. I enjoy their company and the awesome things we do and how amazing they think I am, AND I get paid for it (cash and gifts and trips). And I can't get my heart broken (as long as I don't fall in love) and I can focus on work. But also at work it's not life or death if I don't make money, because I still have guys giving me money OTC. I have my one stable single ex-bf who's been paying my rent and bills for 3yrs that I always keep around and see about 1x/week-every other week, and then usually 1 or 2 married guys that come to NYC for business usually. It's a formula that works for me right now as I focus on myself, enjoying my present and preparing for my future. Falling in love fucked that up, but I do hope to once I stop dancing and move away from Manhattan.

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    I started dancing when i broke up with an SO most of the guys i dated after were cool with it, apart from the last one, my fiance who told me straight up that he was a jealous type and i'd pretty much retired by the time I met him anyway.

    Funnily enough he was true to his word and got overly jealous of my regular day job, calling my at work ever couple of hours, going through my laptop and handbag and phone until i could take it no more.

    Moral of this being: if they have control and jealousy issues they are going to come out one way or another whether you strip or not.

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Only the strong survive in this business.
    agreed.
    I Feel Like A Million Tonight,,
    But One At A Time.





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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Following a domestic violence call the officers ran my name and informed me I had a $100 traffic warrant from 2005. I didn't think anything of it, and figured I'd take care of it during the week.

    About a week later I was walking to the Wal Mart on San Mateo and central when a patrol car stopped me in the parking lot of the circle K. It was the same cop who had responded to the domestic violence call. Basically he just wanted a collar and he had recognized me by my tattoos and my hair. I was handcuffed and put in the back of the squadcar PREGNANT at high noon in summertime.

    I was taken to MDC. I was put in a holding cell with several other women. 1 was coming off of meth and the rest were drunk. I didn't even get to be booked. The judge was annoyed that I had even been arrested in the first place. It seems it cost more to process me in there than the actual cost of the warrant.
    LMAO i think thats so funny you were arrested walking to wal mart,,
    while pregnant,,i would have been sooo pissed,,
    its $100 wtf,,not even a big deal no wonder the judge was annoyed.
    I Feel Like A Million Tonight,,
    But One At A Time.





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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by laurcon View Post
    Dating for real is pretty hard. I just got my heart smashed to pieces by someone who was my customer, then we started dating, we fell in love and he left his wife... everything's going great. Then suddenly he tells me he's in love with a woman from his work and that's that. I talk to him a week later for a little closure, and ask him if he had any issues with me being a stripper that he never mentioned, and he mentions 3 issues he had, none of which being jealousy. The whole thing was a great learning experience.

    It was really really hard for me to work when I was in love with him though. I have been at my club for 3yrs now and getting really good at it, and I was not looking to fall in love at all until I'm done dancing in less than 2yrs. But it happened, and it fucked up my game at work.
    Thankfully I'm not totally stupid and I didn't dump my SDs right away.

    I find the only way I can date, is to date married men for money, to keep it 100. I enjoy their company and the awesome things we do and how amazing they think I am, AND I get paid for it (cash and gifts and trips). And I can't get my heart broken (as long as I don't fall in love) and I can focus on work. But also at work it's not life or death if I don't make money, because I still have guys giving me money OTC. I have my one stable single ex-bf who's been paying my rent and bills for 3yrs that I always keep around and see about 1x/week-every other week, and then usually 1 or 2 married guys that come to NYC for business usually. It's a formula that works for me right now as I focus on myself, enjoying my present and preparing for my future. Falling in love fucked that up, but I do hope to once I stop dancing and move away from Manhattan.
    im sorry that happened to you, how are you doing now?

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tasha_xoxo View Post
    LMAO i think thats so funny you were arrested walking to wal mart,,
    while pregnant,,i would have been sooo pissed,,
    its $100 wtf,,not even a big deal no wonder the judge was annoyed.
    I was fucking pissed because I didn't even get booked. I wasted a beautiful saturday afternoon for nothing. I fucking hate cops!

    I miscarried 2 weeks later, to add to my woes.
    Last edited by tempest666; 10-03-2010 at 09:32 AM.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by missmayes666 View Post
    im sorry that happened to you, how are you doing now?
    Hey thanks so much for caring
    I'm doing really well now, it helps that I'm just happy with my life in general. And that I have lots of other guys ready to tell me how nuts dude must be because I'm the most amazing person they've ever met, etc, etc, lol It def still does hurt several times a day, but like I figured it would, those times are getting farther and farther apart.

    You seem like you're going into this with your eyes wide open Miss Mayes, so I think you'll be just fine. And lots of girls at my club really are pursuing their real passion in life now, somewhere around the age of thirty, give or take 3yrs. Everyone's on a different schedule, we just can't give up on getting there <--- this paragraph was more referring to what you said about many girls getting stuck and stripping forever than dating

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by missmayes666 View Post
    hey ladies, so moneys been tight and i been thinking strongly about dancing. any tips you can give would help.
    What scares me is being comfortable dancing naked for people and how its going to affect my love life.
    If anyone actually reads this, please tell me (if this aint to personal) how has your love life been since you became a dancer? like has it gotten better, same, worse...?
    my vision is, its gonna be hard for me to find a serious relationship with a guy, like its gonna be hard for me to earn his 100% trust.
    i been told your suppose to keep relationships separate from work but it seems hard to me not to talk about things with my bf and keeping "work" stuff a secret makes me feel like i will cause him to have suspicions of me cheating on him and stuff...
    this is whats scares me away from dancing.
    my love life hasnt changed at all. i walked around naked in front of my bfs before i started stripping and i walk around naked in front of them now. i didnt date douchebags before and i dont date douchebags now.

    the biggest complaint i have gotten from a bf was him making me shower after work because he didnt like the thought of touching and licking my body that had been touched by what he assumes are all dirty nasty asshole customers.

    i have yet to find a guy who objects to my current job situation. then again, i dont date douchebags and i dont give off a party girl vibe that men would worry about

    as for my sex drive, its better than ever. i came from a conservative family and grew up in a very very slutty city though...the incredibly contradictory messages screwed me up FARRR before i ever started stripping. in fact part of the reason i started stripping is because of this immense pressure i felt to be sexy and sexual and wanted. as i get older im learning that being sexy to everyone is not the end all and be all.

    I find the only way I can date, is to date married men for money, to keep it 100. I enjoy their company and the awesome things we do and how amazing they think I am, AND I get paid for it (cash and gifts and trips). And I can't get my heart broken (as long as I don't fall in love) and I can focus on work. But also at work it's not life or death if I don't make money, because I still have guys giving me money OTC. I have my one stable single ex-bf who's been paying my rent and bills for 3yrs that I always keep around and see about 1x/week-every other week, and then usually 1 or 2 married guys that come to NYC for business usually. It's a formula that works for me right now as I focus on myself, enjoying my present and preparing for my future. Falling in love fucked that up, but I do hope to once I stop dancing and move away from Manhattan.
    now THAT would screw me up. i dont sleep with customers or even give them my number. i dont have any real regulars either. maybe thats why it doesnt interfere with my relationships?

    a lot of girls at my club lead their customers on too...i could never live with myself if i did that to anyone. which is another reason why i dont give out my number or have any real regulars. a lot of them think they can buy your love, or even just your pussy. i know what its like to have a broken heart and would not wish it on anyone, no matter how pervy and backwards thinking they are.
    Last edited by lagirl; 10-06-2010 at 03:14 AM.

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by lagirl View Post
    now THAT would screw me up. i dont sleep with customers or even give them my number. i dont have any real regulars either. maybe thats why it doesnt interfere with my relationships?

    a lot of girls at my club lead their customers on too...i could never live with myself if i did that to anyone. which is another reason why i dont give out my number or have any real regulars. a lot of them think they can buy your love, or even just your pussy. i know what its like to have a broken heart and would not wish it on anyone, no matter how pervy and backwards thinking they are.
    I will admit I led on a few guys and in hindsight it wasn't a nice thing. I don't feel guilty about promising the pervs things (though never anything sexual, don't want to be busted). The ones I feel bad about are the guys who were lonely and thought because they spent money they had a chance with me. Several asked me out and I told them maybe eventually. One guy asked me to a family party and I said sure because he was spending hundreds on me and I was quitting the club the next day anyway. This is the major problem I had with me dancing. If I was honest and told them no way many wouldn't have spent money.

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    Default Re: LOVE LIFE of a STRIPPER...PLEASE HELP!!!

    ^^^^^ men come to the club for companionship, a dance, whatever it may be, and we give this to them (to a certain extent). The way i look at this is that they are at the club, spending money and when they ask us questions like, :would you wanna go out with me sometime?" the way i usually respond is by saying, "maybe (eventhough i have no intention of going) i need to get to know you a little better" this is the perfect oppurtunity to get them back to the couch room. I have given guys my number but i never answer, if i do plan on answering them, i.e., if the guy wants to come abck to the club to see me, then I tell them to text me. I dont feel bad about leading men on, imo they ask for it by walkign into the club. i def dont feel bad about leading them on when they proposition me either. Now I never insinuate that im going to do extras, because i have seen girls do that and have no intention of doing extras and everything blows uip in their faces.
    "I need a Win Dixie grocery bag full of money right now to the vip section...."

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