View Poll Results: Which would upset you more?

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  • your SO cheats on you with an escort (paid)

    13 27.66%
  • your SO cheats on you with a civillian girl (unpaid)

    34 72.34%
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Thread: Cheating- which would bother you more?

  1. #1
    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Cheating- which would bother you more?

    **The poll itself is for the ladies so if you are a man please dont vote, but please DO contribute to the discussion.**

    So in another thread, someone said that cheating with paid sex is less likely to damage a marriage. i agree with this because i feel like someone using an escort is less likely to get caught than someone with an emotionally charged mistress.

    however, in the event that your SO is caught cheating on you, which would upset you more- if he had a mistress or if he paid an escort for sex?

    also, we will assume it is an escort as opposed to an extras girl, because due to being a dancer him sleeping with an extras girl adds a whole different dimension. So an escort.

    i didnt put an option that both would upset you equally because i feel then everyone would click that. I already know both options would upset you a lot, but think about it... which one would leave you angrier?

    for me personally, unpaid sex would leave me angrier. i feel like if my SO paid for sex it would be because s/he was lacking a service from me. but if s/he went off and found another girlfriend then it would be me that s/he was unsatisfied with.
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    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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  3. #2
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Well shit sorry, the poll comes up before your post so i voted

  4. #3
    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    I voted escort. Just because we were both tested so he could avoid condom use and I feel that a sex worker will have more partners, so more risk for disease. Although I'd hope it was a classy escort who always used protection, but with the ads I've seen in this economy, it'd be hard for me to trust they were honest unless it was someone I knew well.

    I'm weird though and don't really associate sex with *gulp* love. It actually freaks me out to even type that word....does that make me a werido? Luckily, one of my biggest girl crushes atm feels the same way, so we get on like gangbusters.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post

    for me personally, unpaid sex would leave me angrier. i feel like if my SO paid for sex it would be because s/he was lacking a service from me. but if s/he went off and found another girlfriend then it would be me that s/he was unsatisfied with.
    Definitely.
    I'd still be pissed about a one night stand, but at least there's not really any emotions involved.

    If he actually had feelings for someone else, rather than just a quick need to get laid, I'd be devastated.

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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Both. It would likely result in divorce because infidelity is the one thing I could never stand. Both are equally wrong.

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    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    I will put this out there...I have a relationship with a married woman...just for sex..she doesn't get fulfilled with her husband & she wants to be fucked & feel special about her body..& he doesn't do that for her..its more about reason!

  8. #7
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    I'm with you Athena.

    When it comes to cheating, it's not the SEX that bothers me, its the idea that my SO could have an emotional relationship and bond with another women. Cheating is just as much a mental thing to me as it is physical, if not more.

    Chances are if my guy cheated with an escort, I would take that to mean 1)He's not sexually satisfied with me or 2) he has other psychological issues (sex addition, prostitute fetish, etc) that's he's not telling me. Cheating on me with an unpaid women leads me to think that he's not satisfied with out relationship on a whole, opposed to it just lacking in the sex department.

    Mind you, yes, I would be upset if either happened.

    Wanted to add: If my current bf ever did cheat on me with another women, I would leave him asap. But, if he cheated on me with an escort, and seemed truly sorry, it wouldn't HAVE to end in a breakup (although it would take a lot of work to repair that kind of damage).



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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Call me if you don't know where I stand on this...after everything that happened I have a pretty strong opinion.
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    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Quote Originally Posted by unbeleavable View Post
    I will put this out there...I have a relationship with a married woman...just for sex..she doesn't get fulfilled with her husband & she wants to be fucked & feel special about her body..& he doesn't do that for her..its more about reason!
    See, this is the kinda reason I've heard from nearly every guy that ends up cheating. It's not so much about feelings, they just need laid. I think this is why I don't view sex as a show of affection.....it certainly can be.....but it can just as easily be just about scratching an itch. Being emotionally involved with someone else = total dealbreaker. Being sexually intimate = don't really care that much...and yes, my opinion on this has unfortunately been tested.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    I voted escort. Just because we were both tested so he could avoid condom use and I feel that a sex worker will have more partners, so more risk for disease. Although I'd hope it was a classy escort who always used protection, but with the ads I've seen in this economy, it'd be hard for me to trust they were honest unless it was someone I knew well.

    I'm weird though and don't really associate sex with *gulp* love. It actually freaks me out to even type that word....does that make me a werido? Luckily, one of my biggest girl crushes atm feels the same way, so we get on like gangbusters.
    Never was with an escort who offered bareback in the vajayjay or dirt road (didn't request it). A fair number will offer bareback orally, a few will accept the guy cumming in their mouth. Oral bareback is only somewhat safer for the catcher, but nearly 100% safe for the pitcher. Custy-on-escort oral is generally permitted and always unprotected. You can guess how frequently the escort is actually getting wet, so that perhaps limits the STD danger from cunnilingus. Many escorts will kiss. So, based on my experience, the risk of AIDS transmission is very low, oral or genital herpes perphaps high. I've been with roughly 25 - 50 escorts, no STDs, but I guess one can be an asymptomatic carrier of oral herpes.

    I guess ironically a wham-bam street girl (whose not to the point of working bareback) may be safer than an escort, as kissing and cunnilingus are far less likely.

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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    ^^^^ If TMI, sorry.

  15. #12
    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Quote Originally Posted by ilbbaicnl View Post
    Never was with an escort who offered bareback in the vajayjay or dirt road (didn't request it). A fair number will offer bareback orally, a few will accept the guy cumming in their mouth. Oral bareback is only somewhat safer for the catcher, but nearly 100% safe for the pitcher. Custy-on-escort oral is generally permitted and always unprotected. You can guess how frequently the escort is actually getting wet, so that perhaps limits the STD danger from cunnilingus. Many escorts will kiss. So, based on my experience, the risk of AIDS transmission is very low, oral or genital herpes perphaps high. I've been with roughly 25 - 50 escorts, no STDs, but I guess one can be an asymptomatic carrier of oral herpes.

    I guess ironically a wham-bam street girl (whose not to the point of working bareback) may be safer than an escort, as kissing and cunnilingus are far less likely.
    I'm not sure where this post is coming from. I simply think that increased number of partners = increased risk. I never said that oral was a big risk. I actually have specific rules laid out for when/if I ever find a 3-some for us. Must use a condom for penetration with the other girl, but not required for oral, because it is really low risk anyway. Basically anything that has significant risk to transmit anything from her to him or I is off the table, like toy sharing without cleaning, etc.

    I'm not sure where you are located but back a few years ago Craigslist had quiet a few escorts that listed bareback as an upcharge. If you didn't request it though, I'm not suprised they didn't quote you a price for it. Probably afraid that most guys not asking would be to squicked out by the thought of them going bareback with countless other men.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    I think I missed something here..thought it was about cheating & lack of intimacy & feelings involved...

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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Well since you asked for guys opinions ill go ahead and comment. Cheating with an escort seems like it would hurt less, but since they are both unforgivable it doesn't really matter either way.

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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    The regular girl would bother me more.. there could be feeligns involded or what not. With the paid sex.. the escort knows its for money - nothing more.. what else can my s/o get out of them unlike the regular female who can contact him, who can go out and reach him

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  20. #16
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Both!!!!!!
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    It's not so much about feelings, they just need laid. I think this is why I don't view sex as a show of affection.....it certainly can be.....but it can just as easily be just about scratching an itch. Being emotionally involved with someone else = total dealbreaker. Being sexually intimate = don't really care that much
    Exactly. Sometimes you just want to scratch that itch; it has not a goddamn thing to do with your SO nor is it some kind of referendum on your relationship.

    Sometimes a fuck is just a fuck.
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  22. #18
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    ^ Then why can't you just fuck your SO?



  23. #19
    Veteran Member Arianna419's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Both. But from a practical standpoint, I would be furious he spent the money on an escort. We're trying to save, damn it!

  24. #20
    Senior Member Yuki*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Depends on the situation..

    Escort -
    As mentioned above I would be pissed if we were saving for something and he spent money on another woman. Complete lack of respect for our livelihood. Also, STD risks involved - how careful was he? If we were very very well off and he was super careful (with me afterwards as well until tested) I could forgive.

    Regular Girl -
    If it was a 1 night stand I could forgive... If he was dating this girl it would be over.

    Bottom line though, if he wants to fuck someone else, all he has to do is ask So to actually go behind my back would truely hurt.

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  26. #21
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Either way it would suck.

    But for me, escort is worse. That would mean to me that our relationship, sexual or otherwise, was so fucked up that he felt he had to go pay for a service rather than just talk it out with me.

    A casual fuck, one-night stand type, I could forgive more easily, because that would probably mean it was a spur of the moment things, whereas hiring an escort would take more thought and planning.

    Now, if the civilian girl was more a relationship rather than just a one night stand, that would be much worse for me, since for me emotional cheating is much worse than sexual cheating.
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Quote Originally Posted by unbeleavable View Post
    I will put this out there...I have a relationship with a married woman...just for sex..she doesn't get fulfilled with her husband & she wants to be fucked & feel special about her body..& he doesn't do that for her..its more about reason!
    Well, yes and no. What you are talking about in your case is the cheater's justification for cheating. What matters is how the person being cheated on feels about it. Does the lady's husband know what she is doing? I cheated, with paid escorts, for twenty years and I could rattle off a dozen reasons that I used to justify it to myself. Still, I can guarantee you that if my ex wife had ever found out she would have been just as pissed regardless of whether it was an affair or a series of escorts.
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  28. #23
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    I thought about this hard, bc both are just as emotionally hurtful & at risk for my health.

    I picked escort.

    Why....bc you pay an escort to be quiet & be discreet about it, so YOU(as the SO) WONT find out. Then go back to you, like it was nothing. This is having your cake, & eating it too. Fucking me & other prostitutes back & forth. Naw.

    With a regular girl, chances are you will find out. He is done with you & probably doesn't give a shit if you do find out bc he wants out already.

  29. #24
    Veteran Member Likethis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Quote Originally Posted by papillonluvr View Post
    A casual fuck, one-night stand type, I could forgive more easily, because that would probably mean it was a spur of the moment things, whereas hiring an escort would take more thought and planning.

    Now, if the civilian girl was more a relationship rather than just a one night stand, that would be much worse for me, since for me emotional cheating is much worse than sexual cheating.
    I agree.

    However I'm not really monogamous, and I would not ask someone to be sexually or emotionally monogamous either, so the reason I think those situations are worse is simply because they take up more space in his/her life than a ONS.
    Last edited by Likethis; 09-25-2010 at 09:41 AM.

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    Default Re: Cheating- which would bother you more?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    Both. It would likely result in divorce because infidelity is the one thing I could never stand. Both are equally wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Both!!!!!!
    Totally...cheating is cheating - period!
    Last edited by pussyinboots; 09-25-2010 at 05:47 AM.
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