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Thread: penthouse silliness

  1. #1
    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default penthouse silliness

    alright, so it appears that a new penthouse will be opening in reno.

    i clicked on their website... and wow... pretentious!

    and under the entertainer employment section, this is what is posted:


    Penthouse Entertainers

    "We are Looking for a Few Exceptional KEY-GIRLS!"

    Where You're the Star!

    We are a Broadway Play. We are a Hollywood Movie. We are a Daily Soap Opera. We are all of those and more. What’s different about our production than the play or movie is that virtually everything they do is scripted, while virtually nothing you do is. You interact with the guests; and you create a new experience and encounter a new challenge every day.

    BUT, every star knows that his or her job is to make someone else feel something. You may be a Queen, but you succeed here if you make your guest feel like a King! That he is the most important person around. That he is truly a special individual.

    An important key to remember is that our world is about fantasy not reality. Guests come in to forget about reality, not to be reminded of it.

    If you do that well, you will succeed in this business beyond your wildest fantasies.



    APPLY ONLINE: Please send a cover letter and/or Resume. Attach a recent photograph in JPEG format (for identification purposes only). PLEASE BE CERTAIN TO INDICATE "KEY GIRL APPLICATION" THE SUBJECT LINE OF YOUR EMAIL.
    am i the only one who finds this ridiculous? as if the broadway play comparison wasnt ridiculous... a resume and a cover letter? what? i mean i know they just want to know where you have worked... but i have never had a club describe listing previous clubs as a 'resume'. it just seems all so pretentious to me.

    on a side note, even though the description of girls being queens and making the custies feel like kings is pretty silly, at least they are discouraging the pity hustle.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


  2. #2
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    Default Re: penthouse silliness

    They probably paid a marketing consultant top $$$'s for that crap.

    //Begin edit//

    Penthouse Entertainers

    "We are Looking for the usual dancers to do much the same thing in our run of the mill club."

    We are trying to put spin on the same old - same old, so we'll try and convince you that we're different. You'll have the same old experience and experience the same old problems every day.

    Every sensible dancer knows that making customers feel special is the best way to get them to spend, so we'll just put in a more verbose way.

    An important key to remember is that our world is about fantasy not reality - and we've written the job advert to prove it.

    APPLY ONLINE: Please send a recent photograph in JPEG format we can perve over....

    //End edit//

    Phil.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I've totally stared at guys' wallets with lust in my heart
    J.D. explaining how she reacts to guys staring at her body with lust in their hearts....

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  4. #3
    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: penthouse silliness

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    They probably paid a marketing consultant top $$$'s for that crap.

    //Begin edit//

    Penthouse Entertainers

    "We are Looking for the usual dancers to do much the same thing in our run of the mill club."

    We are trying to put spin on the same old - same old, so we'll try and convince you that we're different. You'll have the same old experience and experience the same old problems every day.

    Every sensible dancer knows that making customers feel special is the best way to get them to spend, so we'll just put in a more verbose way.

    An important key to remember is that our world is about fantasy not reality - and we've written the job advert to prove it.

    APPLY ONLINE: Please send a recent photograph in JPEG format we can perve over....

    //End edit//

    Phil.

    AHhahahahaha. this is so full of win!
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


  5. #4
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    Default Re: penthouse silliness

    That is funny but have seen ads like that from another strip club. I am surprised they are expanding though. I remember around 1994 or so there was talk of one in Chicago but that never happened.

  6. #5
    Veteran Member Promnesiac's Avatar
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    Default Re: penthouse silliness

    Man, I'm in advertising and that shit made me itch. Terribly written and crazy pretentious.

  7. #6
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: penthouse silliness

    Lol.

    I wonder if they are serious about resume and cover ? You can probably work there with a simple audition .... I'd hope. ;/

  8. #7
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    Default Re: penthouse silliness

    Kellygirl I think there is on in sauget? Ive danced at two and they ae run completely different. One was a gown club in denver but had full contact nude dances upstairs and the one in tampa use to be a gown club but pretty much isnt run anythng like an upscale penthouseclub is suppose to be run! New management is making it less of a gentlemens club by the day! Oh and that whole key girl of the month is a joke, doll house does that too girl of the month shit!

  9. #8
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: penthouse silliness

    Broadway play? Hollywood movie? Are they actually looking for women to be dancers?

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