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Thread: Ever been so desperate??

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    Member sunnyb's Avatar
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    Tired Ever been so desperate??

    Two days ago the most horrific thing happened to me. I got in a huge car accident with another car and it was my fault. My insurance covered the other vehicle but my rates are going to skyrocket. My car is totaled and that is not covered. So I have to buy a new car and get ready for my new and improved insurance rates. I was hurt pretty bad I have a concussion and some internal bleeding and burns from my car because it caught on fire. Long story short, I'm in a really fucked up situation financially. Which I already was anyways because I'm a full time student and I commute to work and to school. This is just the icing on the cake to a lot of bad luck recently. One of my hugest concerns is that I had 4k in my savings but I loaned it to my friends almost a year ago for their house payment. I asked for it back before my accident and now I REALLY need it back. However they are dancing around it, avoiding me and giving me excuses for why they can't even pay SOME of it back now.

    I know we are all stressed out and we each have our individual problems and my problem is no big deal compared to some people.. However I feel like because I'm in such a horrible situation, I've become desperate for money. This is never a good thing, no matter what profession you are in. I have called a couple friends who have always asked me to do private shows for them.. I always decline because I don't want to mix work and friends but I need the money. I'm just scared I'm going to start fudging my morals because of this. It's a lot of money. I have no car. I have no help. I just want to know if YOU have ever been in a situation like this, desperate, losing hope.. and how did you manage to get through it? Or even if you haven't been in a position like this, how would you deal with it?

    I'm in no physical condition to do anything but I really just want to work. I regret not saving more. I regret always giving out money to my friends. I regret loaning out that lump sum.
    No pressure, no diamonds.

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    Things have a habit of working out. I understand you must be feeling pretty stressed, but if you stay focused, work hard and think outside the box, i'm sure your luck will change in no time. Good things happen.

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    I'm just scared I'm going to start fudging my morals because of this. It's a lot of money
    ^^^ a 'business decision' that 10,000+ dancers have already come to, for better or worse !


    One of my hugest concerns is that I had 4k in my savings but I loaned it to my friends almost a year ago for their house payment. I asked for it back before my accident and now I REALLY need it back. However they are dancing around it, avoiding me and giving me excuses for why they can't even pay SOME of it back now.
    Unfortunately, when friendship / altruism / trust ultimately crosses paths with selfish interest, selfish usually wins !

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    I'm sorry about your situation.

    I would do the private shows.

    Take care of yourself!

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    I'm so sorry, this is a very tough situation. I hope you're doing alright.

    I would go to the friends you lent the money to right away, in person, and not leave until you get a straight answer about when you can get the money back. Even if they can only give it to you in installments, that's more money than you have now. Be sure to get any such agreement in writing. Did you get the original one in writing? As shitty as it is, they're being pretty shitty by skirting around the repayment, so you can threaten to sue if you have such proof.

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    You'll get through this!

    First, I don't really consider people friends who don't make a good faith effort to re-pay loans, even if its only $20/mo. If this loan is traceable then you need to look at your options. If these people are good friends you could make a written agreement whereby a portion of their bill to you is written of for doing things like driving you to school/work/grocery store, helping you around the house, etc. Make it known that if they default you will take them to court. If these people aren't good friends, take them to small claims court NOW.

    You might also want to go to the school to see if you can take out more financial aid to cover living expenses.

    If I were you I'd look into web camming as well, since you wouldn't need a car for that & could work hard from home.
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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    hey hun

    I am so so sorry about your situation! I do not know if you were dancing before or what kind of club it is, but maybe you could talk to the club and see if there is any help they need around the club that you could do? One girl at my old club was in a pinch, and mangament let her keep 50/dollars extra a night for cleaning up the tables after closing. Maybe there is a bus stop near you club?

    Another girl would come in to that club and sell costumes. She also had an online store to sell the costumes. We also had a guy who would just airbrush the girls in the dressing room for money.

    What about online camming? I know there are several forums dealing with it, and you could do it from home. i am not sure how bad you are physically after the accident, but maybe you could make it work if it wont hurt you physically in any way

    What about selling stuff on Ebay?

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    You'll get through this!

    First, I don't really consider people friends who don't make a good faith effort to re-pay loans, even if its only $20/mo. If this loan is traceable then you need to look at your options. If these people are good friends you could make a written agreement whereby a portion of their bill to you is written of for doing things like driving you to school/work/grocery store, helping you around the house, etc. Make it known that if they default you will take them to court. If these people aren't good friends, take them to small claims court NOW.

    You might also want to go to the school to see if you can take out more financial aid to cover living expenses.

    If I were you I'd look into web camming as well, since you wouldn't need a car for that & could work hard from home.
    I totally agree with this! You clearly need that money, and it's time to confront your friends about it. It will probably be a gigantic headache to get your money back from them, but if you don't confront them now, when you really need to, when will they ever pay you back?

    Definitely look at other ways of making a living, for now. Stripping will take too much of a toll on your body, if you just had a concussion and internal bleeding... you'll do yourself a LOT of damage if you go that route. Look into a loan for living expenses, like Kylea said, or try online work, like camming or selling stuff on ebay or craigslist. You could even try doing odd jobs here and there like babysitting or walking dogs for friends, family, neighbors, etc. You don't have to compromise yourself to make enough money to get by... it will be tough for a little while, but if you take care of your body now, you'll be able to get back into dancing, and all will be well.

    Good luck with everything! Bad luck comes and goes, and we all pull through it. : )

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    I would tell the people that you loaned the money to get a private loan to pay you back.You are in a pinch and need your money back.

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    im so sorry this happened to you.

    as far as the car- buy a POS car. you can get a POS car for under a grand. i totaled my car last yr, and while i wasnt veyr desperate, while i was waiting for the insurance to declare it totaled so i could use the insurance money to buy a new car, i discovered that buying the car from hell off of craigslist was cheaper than renting. i found a functioning toyota with 250k on it for 600$. it was ugly as hell and sounded like death, but it got me to and from work and where i needed to go. after i got my new car i kept the second car and let it to friends- the thing held up until one of my idiot friends decided they were too lazy to walk an additional block to park it legally, and racked up so many parking tickets (without my knowlege) that it eventually got impounded.

    and in regards to your friends- do you have any sort of verbal or written proof of waht they owe you? if they are being jerks unwilling to help you when you clearly need it, they arent friends. might be time to start threatening a lawsuit...
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyb View Post
    Two days ago the most horrific thing happened to me. I got in a huge car accident with another car and it was my fault. My insurance covered the other vehicle but my rates are going to skyrocket. My car is totaled and that is not covered. So I have to buy a new car and get ready for my new and improved insurance rates. I was hurt pretty bad I have a concussion and some internal bleeding and burns from my car because it caught on fire. Long story short, I'm in a really fucked up situation financially. Which I already was anyways because I'm a full time student and I commute to work and to school. This is just the icing on the cake to a lot of bad luck recently. One of my hugest concerns is that I had 4k in my savings but I loaned it to my friends almost a year ago for their house payment. I asked for it back before my accident and now I REALLY need it back. However they are dancing around it, avoiding me and giving me excuses for why they can't even pay SOME of it back now.

    I know we are all stressed out and we each have our individual problems and my problem is no big deal compared to some people.. However I feel like because I'm in such a horrible situation, I've become desperate for money. This is never a good thing, no matter what profession you are in. I have called a couple friends who have always asked me to do private shows for them.. I always decline because I don't want to mix work and friends but I need the money. I'm just scared I'm going to start fudging my morals because of this. It's a lot of money. I have no car. I have no help. I just want to know if YOU have ever been in a situation like this, desperate, losing hope.. and how did you manage to get through it? Or even if you haven't been in a position like this, how would you deal with it?

    I'm in no physical condition to do anything but I really just want to work. I regret not saving more. I regret always giving out money to my friends. I regret loaning out that lump sum.
    Want me to have my cousin Oscar in Califas pay a friendly visit to them? He is a loan recovery specialist. The last person who skipped out on a loan payment needed crutches for 5 months and 20 stitches
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Member sunnyb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    Here's the thing as far as a contract with those "friends" who owe me money.. I'm an idiot and I didn't make one. So far they aren't denying they owe me money so maybe I could record a conversation between us so there is proof they are admitting how much they owe. I agree with you Athena, they obviously are not my friends or they wouldn't be dodging me like this, especially in a time of need. I told them I got in a car accident and they haven't even called to see if I'm ok or anything. So they are obviously my really good, close friends. Ha.

    I've contacted a couple lawyers to see what I can do.. It's hard without proof but maybe I can work something out where I can get some kind of documentation. I'm not even sure but I do know that I wish i didn't have to deal with this stress right now on top of everything.

    Thanks for all the other options, I will look into them, they are all great suggestions!

    I really appreciate the support. I know I will get through it eventually but this is an especially hard time.
    No pressure, no diamonds.

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    also do you have good enough credit to get a loan at least till you get on your feet?


    4k wouldnt be small claims court in most states. i think the cutoff is usualy 3k . although in small claims if you dont have to get a lawyer, it might be best to just bicker over the 3k instead of having to go thru the higher courts for the additional 1k.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    Wonder what the cutoff for John Bobbitt was in small claims court :p sorry I couldn't help it
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Member sunnyb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    Unfortunately I just started to build my credit so I don't think my credit would be nearly high enough to use that for a new car.
    No pressure, no diamonds.

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    i meant for a loan for a car. like i said, you easily can get one for under 1k. it wont be pretty...

    also if you find an indie dealer , sometimes youcan cut a deal. i bout hte car for 600 but told the guy i only needed it for 2 weeks. he said i could sell it back for 300 when done. but i ended up keeping it. check on craigslist and call around. you might be surprised what good hunting can bring you.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    Girl, I have been there. I totaled a car a few years ago and someone else's to boot. And I did not have full coverage so I lost my car.

    I was living in a city with no family and pretty much no friends.

    I was desperate.

    I was lucky enough to work for a lady who scheduled my shifts back to back, so I pretty much worked straight through the weekend and took a cab back and forth. I eventually bought a POS just to get by.

    It's rough, but I am living proof that this too shall pass.

    Hang in there.

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    i would move in with family [wherever closest members are located] and lay in bed for awhile and let them cook for me and sleep there till i get my head in a right place, stop stressing and making rash decisions and slowly get my mojo back and think up a good plan to get me through all this
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    Senior Member precise212's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Want me to have my cousin Oscar in Califas pay a friendly visit to them? He is a loan recovery specialist. The last person who skipped out on a loan payment needed crutches for 5 months and 20 stitches
    Hilarious-awesome!

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    Default Re: Ever been so desperate??

    I would NEVER loan a friend 4k unless she was going to pay it back the next day literally. oh boy...

    that's a real bummer. like kitinboots said things have a way of working out. you don't have to cross your moral boundaries to make things work. take a cab to work until you save up enough for a POS like athena said and just work it out from there.

    I know how much it sucks to fall on your ass and have NO money for a safety net to catch you. use all your resources. can you take out a small loan? do you know a family member who can help you?

    personally, I would take that "friend" to court who owes you so much money. I don't know where you stand with her but if she's gonna leave you hanging like that she's no friend.

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