I dunno whats up with me, but im feeling so self concious (cant spell proper sorry) and unsexy latly, and its makin me so misrable on cam, im losing money from it, i just dunno whats up with me, i feel fat, i think i look fat, i have cellulite gallore, and im gettin too depressed to do anything about it, i just wanna sleep and star into space most the time.
I do shows, and guys are chatting shit about everyday stuff, i feel like i get annoyed, ive enjoyed about 20% of my shows in the last 2 months.
Last night really pushed me over the edge, doing a show (public btw, not insertion just ur usuall oil/lotion dances, etc.) and people just chatting between themselfs, some fmeale member comes in and gets shit loads of attention, i get close to nothin, no where near as enthusiastic as they were for the female meber who could of been a guy for all they know, just text on the screen. i felt so shit and depressed, i couldnt stay online and just logged out.
Go into other girls rooms and no matter how vulger the comment is off the guy, at least he's exressing desire for the model and showing interest in what she's doin. i get the normal compliments, but they mean nothing when they say them just after saying hello, its like a done thing, not a sincere comment. if u get me.
I dont know how to combat it, i feel ive lost my mojo, and i dunno how to get it back, im a lazy lump of lard, and feel so crappy getting even a nipple out. I dunno what to do
I think im just venting, need to sort myself out and get back on track, just need a push, need a roket up my arse so to say.
Jess.
ty for reading xxxxx




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I try my best to have slots free for the girls of SW


The new episodes on Wednesday nights are a must-watch for me, and the cam sites will just have to wait til SVU is over. 

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