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    Default your views on men

    Has web camming or working in the sexual industry in general confirmed your pre-existing notions of men or have they changed in any way? How has your view of sexuality changed as well?

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    Veteran Member DirtyLittleSecret's Avatar
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    Default Re: your views on men

    I've always found men easy to manipulate. Now that i'm a cam girl its become even more obvious and have grown a very low tolerance for there BS.

    Sexually, eh, not much change. Maybe less attracted to men, more confident and more likely to withhold.
    Last edited by DirtyLittleSecret; 11-22-2010 at 09:26 AM.

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    Default Re: your views on men

    it's definitely changed the way I value myself. I used to be that girl who would hang on a guy's every word, do exactly what he wanted, and needed his constant approval. I used to be that girl who would ditch plans with her friends to hang out with a guy. when I was in high school a guy could call me up at 3am and I would go see him. I would have sex on the first date. I let guys walk all over me. I was too nice, too caring, too forgiving. I was PATHETIC. I was that girl who would cry if a guy never called me after waiting all night by the phone. I would invest as much time, money, and energy as possible on a guy I liked even if he didn't lift a finger for me. I was the clingiest, neediest, most insecure girl on the PLANET.

    since I've been a dancer, I don't let guys manipulate me anymore. I don't let them call the shots. I don't let them walk all over me. I don't take their bullshit. I don't lift a finger to impress him. I don't need a man to feel good.

    like dirtylittlesecret said I'm more likely to withhold from sex being as I'm now more aware than ever that's mostly what all guys want. your time isn't worth shit to most guys unless you're spread eagle on their bed. being a stripper I've met a LOT of guys. a lot of them are assholes and don't even try to mask what they're after and some guys who didn't seem so bad from the beginning, but after a short while I'd start to pick up on the same red flags over and over.

    I made the mistake of sleeping with ONE guy whom I met at the club and had gone out to dinner with a couple times. he basically made me leave right after we did it. he said he was tired and had work the next day so I was like "ok whatever...no big deal". A little hurt and confused, but hey what could I do, it was his house after all. he called me the next week at midnight wanting me to come over and something came over me that I had never felt before...it was like this blind rage and all the sudden it was like this REALLY assertive woman had taken over my mouth and started telling him off asking him if he thought I was a 24 hour sex delivery robot somehow without managing to sound like a total psycho. he got all pissed and was like "damn I just wanted to see you." I ignored his texts for a couple days after that and he apologized to me.

    it seems like a lot of guys think that once they bag a girl, they can just turn the charm off and she's on call for as long as they want. I don't want to be tied to a fucking rope. I want a real relationship with a guy who respects me and I feel like now I have the right mentality to weed out the assholes.

    obviously you're not going to meet a whole lot of gentlemen working at the SC, but if a guy seems decent I'll give him a chance. I've become a lot smarter when it comes to dealing with men and it's improved dating for me. I'm quicker to pick up on bullshit and bluffs. I used to be really gullible when it came to guys, but now it's almost a mind-reading ability. I refuse to be taken for granted knowing that I can have damn near any guy that walks into my club and I'm not easily impressed. when a guy is like "you should go out with me I'll take care of you I bought my ex a BMW" I'm thinking "really? well if you're not taking me into the champagne room you're a fucking loser"

    I no longer waste months pining over some jerk who won't give me attention. I focus on how he DOES treat me than how I WANT him to treat me. I've learned how to get inside a man's head and get what I want from him whether it's money or just attention by not being a pushover.

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    Default Re: your views on men

    My opinion on men as a whole hasn't really changed. I don't like lumping groups of people under one blanket label. I hate it when people judge and make assumptions based on stereotypes, especially when it's stuff like "women are X" so I try not to do the same thing when talking about men. Having said that, I do agree that some men can be very easily manipulated by hot women because they can't reason past the throbbing erection they're holding in their hand. Plus a lot of men who seek out webcam girls happen to be lonely and vulnerable, and it is very easy to take advantage of people in that frame of mind.

    My views on sexuality haven't really changed either, except for the fact that I am much more comfortable in my own skin, and very confident. Before doing webcam I remember I used to hate having sex with the lights on because I was too embarrassed of my body and of portraying myself in such a sexual light (even though it was in front of my BF). Now the thought of that is simply ridiculous. Also if there was any lingering shame or shyness about my sexual nature, all of that has completely disappeared altogether and I now feel proud and empowered by sex.

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    Default Re: your views on men

    I agree with Smurfette, I don't tend to view the entire male population the way I view guys who see me on cam. It's hard for me to say what these guys are really like since I only talk to them for short periods of time via a screen. I imagine being a stripper would be a little more up close and personal though, but as it is now, I don't get too fazed by anything since it's all just on a computer screen. There are assholes, but there are plenty of nice guys to make up for it and I've encountered so many tastes and fetishes that I can't really lump men together in one group.

    I guess it's made me more confident in a way. I used to hate my small breasts, but now I'm not quite so shy about them since a lot of guys like them. I've always been pretty standoffish with guys in general though and I've always been pretty picky even before I started this job. I dunno, I don't think I've changed sexually or romantically or anything, but I will say I think after camming I've become greedier or something, haha. Like the idea of slaving away at a "respectable" job for less money and more misery is really depressing to me now, whereas before camming I probably would've settled for it. I don't think we're overpaid though; I think everyone who doesn't make money like we do is underpaid.

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    Senior Member shannonkristin's Avatar
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    Default Re: your views on men

    that its my job to bleed them of their paycheck, if they dont like it then go to you porn or something. free is not for me

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    Default Re: your views on men

    I learned that nothing lasts forever. But sometimes in the midst of all the heartache and tragedy some good things can arise.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Veteran Member ShellyConnors's Avatar
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    Default Re: your views on men

    It has taken me a while to come to this realization, and I don't think it has anything to do with the sex industry, but has more to do with growing up and realizing that no matter how much I like or love a guy, if he's not benefiting me financially there is no reason to have him around. That's not to say all men are walking paychecks, but since working from home on cam and on the phones, I feel like if I'm spending lots of time with a guy he needs to be doing something to enhance my life financially or he's COSTING me money by being up under me. The time I spend laying around with him I could be camming, making videos, answering phone calls, working out to get that better body, or even just resting/relaxing to keep my psyche together. I used to think girls were golddiggers who had a mandatory rule that guys spend on them but now I get it. No man gets any of my attention for free anymore. Bottom line.

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    Default Re: your views on men

    I too don't like to stereotype. But it's damn hard not to sometimes.
    Mostly I just can't get over how men think their dicks are so fucking special. Now that I cam I see it even more. Watch my cam bb. AND they think you'll do it for free.
    Even my own man- thinks his dick is so special. And it's such a huge turn off.
    Other than that I don't trust any of them not to cheat.

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    Default Re: your views on men

    Quote Originally Posted by Mare View Post
    Other than that I don't trust any of them not to cheat.
    i totally agree with you... caming has made me very untrusting...

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    Default Wow. Just wow.

    Quote Originally Posted by ShellyConnors View Post
    It has taken me a while to come to this realization, and I don't think it has anything to do with the sex industry, but has more to do with growing up and realizing that no matter how much I like or love a guy, if he's not benefiting me financially there is no reason to have him around. That's not to say all men are walking paychecks, but since working from home on cam and on the phones, I feel like if I'm spending lots of time with a guy he needs to be doing something to enhance my life financially or he's COSTING me money by being up under me. The time I spend laying around with him I could be camming, making videos, answering phone calls, working out to get that better body, or even just resting/relaxing to keep my psyche together. I used to think girls were golddiggers who had a mandatory rule that guys spend on them but now I get it. No man gets any of my attention for free anymore. Bottom line.
    So love, support, great sex, companionship, kindness, caring, compassion.... none of these count for anything with you? Because i don't think you can put a price on any of them (okay, maybe sex). And you honestly don't think working in the sex industry is what made you feel this way?? There's more to life than money. A lot more. And no matter how much you love it, it can never love you back.

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    Default Re: Wow. Just wow.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gary McPenis View Post
    So love, support, great sex, companionship, kindness, caring, compassion.... none of these count for anything with you? Because i don't think you can put a price on any of them (okay, maybe sex). And you honestly don't think working in the sex industry is what made you feel this way?? There's more to life than money. A lot more. And no matter how much you love it, it can never love you back.
    I pretty much agree with this. Love/relationships and money are completely separate for me. Do I want my man to be financially stable? Of course. But I don't feel like I'm "losing" anything by lying around with him kissing and cuddling for an afternoon instead of being on cam. Sure I'm technically "losing" money but I'm gaining love, trust, companionship, etc. that are all so much more important to me.

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    Default Re: your views on men

    I'm not a money hungry whore and I'm not saying anyone else here is either. But i will tell You MR. Penis.
    The money will never let you down.

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    Senior Member shannonkristin's Avatar
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    Default Re: your views on men

    the fact that im on the internet dildoing myself for hours... yep ill take a man with some money haha

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    Default Re: your views on men

    I just have to say that it's kind of hard to take love and relationship views seriously coming from someone with a username like Gary McPenis. lol

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    Veteran Member ShellyConnors's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wow. Just wow.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gary McPenis View Post
    So love, support, great sex, companionship, kindness, caring, compassion.... none of these count for anything with you? Because i don't think you can put a price on any of them (okay, maybe sex). And you honestly don't think working in the sex industry is what made you feel this way?? There's more to life than money. A lot more. And no matter how much you love it, it can never love you back.
    Oh those things you mentioned are important too! But without financial assistance they are a dime a dozen.

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    Default Re: your views on men

    Pfft. Yeah. Sorry Gary McPenis, but loving the poor man is a bit of a financial drain. I'd like to at least break even, otherwise I will become embittered and all the love in the world wont matter. If I was dating again, I would require.. a lot of material items. LOL. I just feel that the man who wants something for free is a total stinkpot who doesn't respect me. He should want to give me nice things in exchange for my time, and his desire to do that proves that he's a good guy who knows my worth.

    At any rate, my male companion is glorious and being on cam lets me know exactly HOW glorious. It also tells me that his weird porn taste isn't that big of a deal because he could want me to crush live animals with my bare feet. He could want me to jack off said live animal with my bare feet. He could want... etc, etc.

    I also.. think the "Block" buttons really help real life. I have no patience for idiots. Before, maybe I'd try to change their mind. Maaaybe I'd try to get them to like me. Hells no. Block!

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    Default Re: your views on men

    Well, you're all obviously entitiled to your own opinion, but when it gets to the point that you look at time spent with a loved one as wasted time, I think some time away fron the pole/webcam is in order. Maybe it's an occupational hazzard? Stripping CAN simply be what you do, it doesn't have to be all that you are. It's about balance. Most of you sadly don't seem to get tthat.

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    Default Re: your views on men

    Quote Originally Posted by amazingjane View Post
    Pfft. Yeah. Sorry Gary McPenis, but loving the poor man is a bit of a financial drain. I'd like to at least break even, otherwise I will become embittered and all the love in the world wont matter. If I was dating again, I would require.. a lot of material items. LOL. I just feel that the man who wants something for free is a total stinkpot who doesn't respect me. He should want to give me nice things in exchange for my time, and his desire to do that proves that he's a good guy who knows my worth.
    Sounds a little like prostitution to me. By making it ALL about money, you are all turning yourselves into commodities, not people. Strive to be priceless.
    Last edited by Gary McPenis; 11-25-2010 at 08:43 AM. Reason: messed up on the html

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    Senior Member Gabrielle_xoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: your views on men

    They are all liars and cheats. Every single one of them.

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    Default Re: your views on men

    Quote Originally Posted by Gary McPenis View Post
    Sounds a little like prostitution to me. By making it ALL about money, you are all turning yourselves into commodities, not people. Strive to be priceless.
    You ever purchase something priceless? People do all the time. It doesn't have to be priceless to the seller to end up being priceless to the buyer.

    As far as prostitution, look at where we are (likely sandwiched between a few escorting threads) and ask me if I care.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gary McPenis View Post
    It's about balance. Most of you sadly don't seem to get tthat.
    Mm. I think that one wants a sarcastic interlude!

    Ohhh, you, with your wide understanding of the universe... I applaud you. Thank you for bringing your insight, you've truly opened my eyes. I am going to set out to accept all sorts of poor men into my bed to assure myself that I am not prostituting. I'm going to accept a man who offers me his companionship, kindness, and caring in exchange for gas money & help paying his child support! Jewelry on my anniversary? Flowers once a week? Cozy cabin trip this weekend? No! I don't accept gifts. That would be payment for my companionship. I am -prrrriceless!-. I only ask for love.

    /end sarcastic interlude


    Tell me Gary, is it really so wrong to want it all?

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    God/dess Smurfette's Avatar
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    Default Re: your views on men

    Wow, you girls sound bitter.

    Am I weird for not caring who makes the most money? I mean, seriously, this isn't the 1950's anymore. The man doesn't have to be the breadwinner. Currently I make significantly more than my fiance but he is not a "drain" on my life at all. He makes up for it by doing more of the cleaning, running errands, changing diapers, etc. which I think is a much more MANLY thing to do than simply running off to a job every day. We balance each other out.

    I'm not really much of a DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER girl so I don't give a shit about that kind of stuff anyway.

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  30. #23
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    Default Re: your views on men

    what the industry did to me:

    i'm no longer interested in casual fucking or fucking in general. i fuck myself silly all day (camming), i want some passionate "love-making" from a real man, and a friend with benefits will not provide that.

    i still have the same opinion on men. some are jerks with money and some are really nice guys with money. i still am split about the whole "they all cheat" issue. i'm just better at getting what i want from men (or people in general) in my real life. confidence has risen. i care about my looks more - that is a good improvement for a tomboy.

    i was around a lot of escorts and dancers in my teens so i caught some of what they threw at me. like sex industry philosophy. when i was 19 and on my own an escort told me "fuck men, get money." haha double meaning.

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    Default Re: your views on men

    I'm an escort now.. I have very little respect for men.. I have no interest in "free fucking", going to dinner/date with a man unless I'm getting paid for my time.. I only enjoy having sex if I get my envelope in the beginning $$$.. I just cant have sex without getting paid anymore, or having one around me unless I am benefitting financially in some form.
    ( Hey, noone said this game isn't addictive.. Turn your first trick and see what happens)..
    Men jump through hoops just to fuck a hot young escort..its unreal.
    Men only come around for one thing only.

    Men are such weak people.. so easy to manipulate.. the little head controls the big head most of the time.
    I can't help but laugh at the girls at bars/nightclubs giving away a goldmine for free, a meal, or a couple drinks.
    Then fuck some guy.. go home with nothing, hope he will call again, then feel bad because she realised he only wanted her vagina or only calls when he needs a vagina. *Lame.. *rolls eyes*

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  33. #25
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    Default Re: your views on men

    It's so funny because I was once a chick who was like "diamonds aren't forever", "love conquers all", etc... I made some mistakes not falling in the middle ground and dealing with people who were heavy on the "love" angle but didn't have their money game together. Ummm... no. Dude... diamonds aren't forever, but that doesn't mean love is all you need. And love is wonderful, but it definitely doesn't pay the bills. An independent woman doesn't need a man to take care of her. Yeah, it's not the 1950's. But I damn sure won't sit up here and hustle hard in the strip club/online or wherever to sit around under some next dude who doesn't benefit me financially.

    If he's not benefiting me, he's harming me.

    What about a broke man's love makes it so special that I should spend time with him? When men have taken you on multi-thousand dollar shopping sprees just because they enjoy your company and simply adore you... When guys have spent thousands of dollars on you behind a computer screen, not even in person, just telling you how awesome you are... When you watch how insane these guys can get over women and pussy it does give you a feeling of power. And with that power comes selectivity. I have been shown that I'm a great catch and could have any variety of man fall for me and treat me fucking awesome!

    So to answer the OP that's how being a sex worker has changed my views on men... I know for a fact I can pretty much have any man I damn well please, because of what I've learned through being an adult entertainer. So if I want a guy who is handsome, caring, loving, affectionate, domestic AND helps me financially, and I adamantly refuse to settle for one who doesn't fit the bill, how does that make me a prostitute?

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