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Thread: Awesome customer comments!

  1. #1
    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Awesome customer comments!

    well this is the counterpart to the stupid customer comments thread. although i doubt it will be as big of a hit.

    a customer told me today that "glen danzig is like a garden gnome on steroids." which made me LOL in the middle of the dance.

    another customer, who was from russia, told me that he wanted to wrap me up in the fur and take me to antartica on a bicycle ride so he could introduce me to the penguins".


    what awesome things that made you laugh, or maybe even awesome things that were wise, have customers told you?
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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  3. #2
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    Default Re: Awesome customer comments!

    I haven't had a customer say anything comparably awesome as yours. absolutely hilarious.

    my customers are just plain boring and socially awkward :[

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    Default Re: Awesome customer comments!

    One customer of mine, very cute Southern boy with the most adorable acccent, said to me during a lapdance "girl just sit down! You moving around too much, like a dang-nab squirrel on crack". It was very Boomhauer-esque and totally funny. Ill think of more later, I'm only awake right now cuz I have an awful stomach flu

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    Default Re: Awesome customer comments!

    i remember once I got "girl, you got mo' ass than Duncan Hines!!"

    wtf?
    "You are the church, I am the steeple. when we fuck we're all God's people." - "Slutgarden" by Marilyn Manson

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Awesome customer comments!

    I danced for this guy all evening who had the most wonderful sense of humor. He could go effortlessly from joking around with me to enjoying my dances. We had so much fun making superbly loud orgasmic noises in the private dance room together. I'd touch his arm, and we'd both be like, "OOOH YESS!!" He was much older than I, but we had such a great time!

    I had a guy comment once, "Keep doin' what you doin' girl. It's always better to use your mind instead of your body," after receiving a clean dance from me. He tipped me a $20. This was one of the few black guys I've ever danced for (they seem to love me on stage, but they don't buy dances from me). Which I thought was kind of cool (I love dancing for non-stereotypical people).

    I know that's not really the kind of comment you're looking for, but that's what came to mind.

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    Default Re: Awesome customer comments!

    At my first club, I'll never forget this comment- I don't have any tattoos, and when I said it wasn't my thing he replied " Good because you shouldnt put a bumper sticker on a Bentley!" haha

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    Default Re: Awesome customer comments!

    "Damn girl...you could sell a snow cone to a eskimo."

    "THANK YOU! Your breath smells nice. This other chick's smelled like...hmm mmm." (Okay?!...)

    I'm selling VIP to a British custie...
    "Yeah let's sauce it up."
    ---I wasn't sure if that's a good thing or not. Turned out to be. Cheers mate. lol.
    Last edited by Dame; 11-25-2010 at 12:13 AM.

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    Veteran Member sugartaste's Avatar
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    Default Re: Awesome customer comments!

    I think my all time favorite is, "You look like the chick painted on the back of my truck". Yes, apparently I look like a mudflap girl, lol!
    Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans

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    Default Re: Awesome customer comments!

    about a month ago, a guy was tipping me on stage and he said "Wow...you are a master of your craft." I thought it was really funny.

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    Default Re: Awesome customer comments!

    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyskys View Post
    about a month ago, a guy was tipping me on stage and he said "Wow...you are a master of your craft." I thought it was really funny.
    that reminds me of last night I used one of my cheesy one liners on a customer.
    I had been sitting with him for a while and I was like "ugh are you hot? no seriously is it hot in here or is it just me?"
    he goes "yeah you're right...it is pretty hot in here."
    I was like "that's so weird it's never this hot....I feel SOOOO hot right now..." and started fanning myself with my hands
    he nods in agreement.
    I lean in really close and go "do you wanna do me a favor?"
    he says "what?"
    I go "wanna take me into the back for a lap dance so I can take all my clothes off?"
    he busted out laughing and was like "DAMN I've been around a WHILE at these clubs and I have NEVER heard that one before. I'm gonna have to get a dance from you that was real slick the way you set that one up. I didn't even see that one coming."
    after I gave him the dance he was like "I never get dances from girls but you're real slick"

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    Default Re: Awesome customer comments!

    I get told I look like Anne Hathaway A LOT. this really nice old guy told me that I looked like her, and had I seen Get Smart?

    i start dancing for him, and he says "Anne Hathaway played agent 99 in the movie, I know the series is a little before your time, but I always liked Agent 99. This is like a childhood fantasy come true"

    he was such a funny little man, it made me smile.
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