
Originally Posted by
yogibear179
Dear pussy in boots
thank you so much for your responses . we both need time to grow personally. He is living in a clean and sober house now and i live in my own apartment. He was going to AA, i dont think he goes as often because of work and whatnot. I want to encourage him to go, i also dont want to nag him. Ill try to suggest that he attend more regularly.
He has a hard time getting around, he has no car at the moment and is putting away money for it. He has to start at 1 again in terms of a lot of things. Saving money is something he never did and he is learning. He loves having the extra cash though and not being out 2 days after payday. Physically he is ill at the moment, his leg is huge and swollen. He has a blood clot.
I know i was not seeing the reality of the situation. Healing takes time. I was quick to move along expecting everything to go great now that he had gone through rehab. No, these things take time. I need to make sure to give him emotional space and be there when he needs me.
I am so glad that he is sober and isnt sick all of the time. I do see this as a disease. I need to also build myself up too. We both do. I am attending my first alanon meeting in 3 days and am planning on getting a life coach or therapist.
he couldnt afford a support councilor at the time, ill bring up how his recovery is going and see what he has planned. The last thing both of us want is to be on that road again.
as for what i can do:
be patient
work on myself
encourage him in recovery
forgive him and start rebuilding our relationship
it is very encouraging to hear your personal relationship story.
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