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Thread: confidence vs. arrogance

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    Default confidence vs. arrogance

    my usual hustle style is to act really confident because as you've probably heard over and over guys love a girl who has confidence in herself.

    I noticed though that one of the top earners at my club is so confident she borders arrogant.

    so I tried a little experiment. last night I tweaked my stripper persona confidence to the extent that I was giving off this extremely arrogant vibe and I made a pretty decent pile of cash for a monday night.

    I literally dragged guys into the lap dance room with me. if a guy seemed unsure I'd be like "come on, I'm like the hottest girl in here. you see those bitches on stage? what the fuck do they have on me? I'm not taking no for an answer let's go already!"

    I had one guy who was droning on and on and on about his children and I was like "how the fuck am I supposed to turn you on if you're just gonna sit here and talk about your kids? I'm gonna go to the bathroom and when I come back I'm taking you for a hot lap dance" and when I came back he was actually still at the bar waiting for me and we went off for a dance!

    I think I may have found an effective hustle style. thoughts on this?

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    I think you're on to something!! I may even try that at work tonight... My bestie is alot like that... she will grab guys by the collar and drag them to a dance. It works!

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    I do it all the fucking time. Haven't heard any complaints yet. But still I do give credit where credit is due. If there is a hot bitch around I'll compliment her.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    I guess if it works for you then go for it! It would be better if you didn't put down the other girls in the process, though. Even though its just an act, too much of that could irritate your co-workers, and create hostility.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    ^^^^^ Yeah, true lol. Especially if she weighs 250 llbs she'll sit on you!
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    Personally, I would never call any of the girls "bitches" in front of any customer. Maybe he thinks you're being rude and will tell her and she or the management will give you a hard time? Or maybe he thinks she is 100 times hotter than you? You can simply state that you are the hottest chick without making others sound awful. I use that all the time, when they tell me why they should go with me. "I want to make sure you will get the best private dance with the best girl and that's ME!"

    As it comes to physically dragging them away, one black girl in my club does it and she is super aggressive. She would just be in their face and when they start walking off, she will follow them and just won't leave them alone. Guys have told me a few times how irritating and scary she is. I mean, they go to strip clubs to unwind and relax.. I think that kind of hustle is good for weekends, but not for a slow weeknight.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    Yes, make it extremely hard for them to say no. They are there because they don't know how to party and need us to show them how to do it! I'll do the "I don't talk about that stuff (family, work, whatever) in here, that's boring, let's dance! or do shots! or (insert something else that costs $$$)" all the time. Most of the time they appreciate being with a woman that is the opposite of their nagging wife.

    You don't have to be mean though. You can just be really bubbly and insistant. Something like "I'm bored, I want to dance! You want to see me naked, right?" and most of the time the only reason the guy stops me is because he wants to move to somewhere more private right off the bat. Then I just hop up and hold his hand behind my butt and prance over to the private area. You can be aggressive in a clawing at their chest, hot angry sex kind of way too. That also works
    Yes, I'm real.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    Quote Originally Posted by Purrfect View Post
    Personally, I would never call any of the girls "bitches" in front of any customer. Maybe he thinks you're being rude and will tell her and she or the management will give you a hard time? Or maybe he thinks she is 100 times hotter than you? You can simply state that you are the hottest chick without making others sound awful. I use that all the time, when they tell me why they should go with me. "I want to make sure you will get the best private dance with the best girl and that's ME!"

    As it comes to physically dragging them away, one black girl in my club does it and she is super aggressive. She would just be in their face and when they start walking off, she will follow them and just won't leave them alone. Guys have told me a few times how irritating and scary she is. I mean, they go to strip clubs to unwind and relax.. I think that kind of hustle is good for weekends, but not for a slow weeknight.
    I wasn't actually insulting the other girls I was saying it in a very joking tone. maybe I should have clarified that.

    and I don't actually PULL them in their but I'll tug their arm/collar and lead them into the lap dance area. I would never actually FORCE a guy to do anything.

    the way I was doing it was aggressive yet playful and like I said I had a very good turnout. guys were telling me how much they liked my attitude and persistence.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    I'm a huge proponent of creating a sense of urgency and demand. This is good in many types of sales positions. If you are trying to maximize your income in a given night and not create regular relationships , then this works very well. It may cause some buyer cognitive dissonance when he realizes it was a business tactic, but who fucking cares. Worse comes to worse, the dude just stops you if you are going too fast, usually giving you a chance to adjust to a more relaxed demeanor.

    Also, to be perfectly honest, I've heard a lot of custs complain about that pushy aggressive dancer and its ALWAYS an unattractive dancer they complain about. I've never seen or heard complaints about the arrogant hotties.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    I dont knoe ladies i was a nice person before not anymore. I had to tell my one customer that get the f.ck out of the club or get a dance. Always he comes and finds me gives me tons of compliments but as soon as i ask for dance he tells me awkard things i ever had. he doesnt say yes or no just he just tells me he is gonna be in toruble. Always i had to talk 3-4 songs to convert him and finally he ends up with buyhin 3-4 dances. Last time i could not handle and i grab his hand and pushed him to CR .. I even screamed, or told him dont take my time or not make me busy .. finally i got my dances and left ... such a creepy guy ever! i think i m not nice anymore i dont have tolerance... i cant handle... i cant believe i had to curse yall a customer and finally push him to CR. i cant believe what kinda person i became!

    And i am sick of guys sneakily touching my ass while i walk at the club.. I hide a needle beetwen my fingers and as soon as i feel a sneaky finger or hand i stick this needle i enjoy it!... Couple nights i really did this... i really dont regret!

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    arrogance has always worked better for me than being nice. i make more money when Im in control and I find very few customers I cant control. Its a lot like how they teach you to sell in the sales world. you want to control every sale and the sales process.

    you know how much you want to make- so you need to dictate the terms of the sale! it's that simple.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    I'm a huge proponent of creating a sense of urgency and demand. This is good in many types of sales positions. If you are trying to maximize your income in a given night and not create regular relationships , then this works very well. It may cause some buyer cognitive dissonance when he realizes it was a business tactic, but who fucking cares. Worse comes to worse, the dude just stops you if you are going too fast, usually giving you a chance to adjust to a more relaxed demeanor.

    Also, to be perfectly honest, I've heard a lot of custs complain about that pushy aggressive dancer and its ALWAYS an unattractive dancer they complain about. I've never seen or heard complaints about the arrogant hotties.
    I think I would go so far as to say I'm hot to most guys. I'm actually NOT arrogant at all. I don't act arrogant outside the club in fact I always thought I was pretty average looking before I started dancing.

    I'm young with a slim, toned, proportionate body, long hair, and attractive facial features. some guys say I'm too skinny for them but for the most part I get told that I'm hot so I think the arrogance act works in my favor.

    I've seen the super aggressive ugly girls and you KNOW they make their money because the customers just want them to go away, but I don't think I fit into that category.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    i think that this tactic works i just need to develop it and use it more often... one time i was doing a bachelor party down at foxwoods and it was guys in the 23-27 age range (college grads, new businessmen, etc) and so they were all really cool and nice. i asked one guy if he wanted a dance and he said "no, i'm all set, thanks" and i saw all of his friends were watching so i said "what, did you leave your balls at home with mommy?" and they all laughed, including him, then he spent like $50 on a dance. it was great.

    for that crowd it worked... but if it was an older more distinguished man who might not be in the best of moods i definitely wouldn't have gone with that approach...



    i think i may have posted this story a while ago in a different thread so sorry if im a broken record!!

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    Quote Originally Posted by miss1dancypants View Post
    i think that this tactic works i just need to develop it and use it more often... one time i was doing a bachelor party down at foxwoods and it was guys in the 23-27 age range (college grads, new businessmen, etc) and so they were all really cool and nice. i asked one guy if he wanted a dance and he said "no, i'm all set, thanks" and i saw all of his friends were watching so i said "what, did you leave your balls at home with mommy?" and they all laughed, including him, then he spent like $50 on a dance. it was great.

    for that crowd it worked... but if it was an older more distinguished man who might not be in the best of moods i definitely wouldn't have gone with that approach...



    i think i may have posted this story a while ago in a different thread so sorry if im a broken record!!
    LOL yeah the REALLY bitchy stuff works for the younger guys. with the older men though you can still use the arrogant "I'm so hot look at me I'm so hot I'm so hot" attitude and it works

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    You can be aggressive without coming off arrogant and/or rude.

    Britney Ireland's DancerWealth program goes into this a little. She identifies the four basic personality types, and then tells you what hustling style will work on which ones. I think that for more beta guys, young or old, you should be more sweet and a little more laid back (unless they like to be dominated, and then have at it). Don't come in with an over-the-top arrogant "look at me, I'm so hot" vibe; it'll usually turn them off. For a group of young party guys, you can totally play the arrogant thing. But when you're one on one, a lot of times they like something a little more intimate and personable.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    You can be aggressive without coming off arrogant and/or rude.

    Britney Ireland's DancerWealth program goes into this a little. She identifies the four basic personality types, and then tells you what hustling style will work on which ones. I think that for more beta guys, young or old, you should be more sweet and a little more laid back (unless they like to be dominated, and then have at it). Don't come in with an over-the-top arrogant "look at me, I'm so hot" vibe; it'll usually turn them off. For a group of young party guys, you can totally play the arrogant thing. But when you're one on one, a lot of times they like something a little more intimate and personable.
    i need to invest in this program. how much is it? its probably posted everywhere im just too lazy to look haha im supposed to be working on a paper for school

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    You can be aggressive without coming off arrogant and/or rude.

    Britney Ireland's DancerWealth program goes into this a little. She identifies the four basic personality types, and then tells you what hustling style will work on which ones. I think that for more beta guys, young or old, you should be more sweet and a little more laid back (unless they like to be dominated, and then have at it). Don't come in with an over-the-top arrogant "look at me, I'm so hot" vibe; it'll usually turn them off. For a group of young party guys, you can totally play the arrogant thing. But when you're one on one, a lot of times they like something a little more intimate and personable.
    idk it always works for me with the older men. they think I'm spunky.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    I once worked in a club that offered lap dances for about three weeks just to see how I did with lap dances, and well, since lots of the dancers were a bunch of old hags, I always told the costumers "why would you get a dance from that old lady, when you can get a dance from someone young, like me". It worked wonders; I only worked for three hours, but left the place with over 300 bucks.

    However, I didn't like lapdances that much, so I kept doing stage dancing; it pays like 100 bucks less, but is more my thing.





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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    I once worked in a club that offered lap dances for about three weeks just to see how I did with lap dances, and well, since lots of the dancers were a bunch of old hags, I always told the costumers "why would you get a dance from that old lady, when you can get a dance from someone young, like me". It worked wonders; I only worked for three hours, but left the place with over 300 bucks.
    However, I didn't like lapdances that much, so I kept doing stage dancing; it pays like 100 bucks less, but is more my thing.
    i just remembered why your posts so frequently bother me.

    you think you are so much better than the veteran dancers (who you call old, or barbie dolls that are too skinny, too tan, fake looking, etc) and constantly critisize these types of dancers in your posts, instead of giving them a chance and maybe even learning something from them.

    and also, what a horrible unprofessional thing to say! calling dancers hags and old ladies to a custy!

    your attitude sucks and it is apparent that it stems from insecurity.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    I don't generally cuss, & especially not to customers. Many high end customers would not approve of that.

    Second, I will assume the sale but don't complain about what the customer is talking about. There are some other threads here about changing the conversation, you may want to look them up.

    Third, I am with Tempest, I give credit to other dancers where credit is due. If another dancer is hot I will say so! This also works in my favour because if the other dancer knows that or catches wind of it then I sometimes get invited to do doubles with their customers.

    With that said, I typically am the top earner. If a guy says something like "How do I know it's worth $xx?" then I respond "I'm the top earner here, which I think says something." if he responds with something about not believing me then I say "Ask the bartender/vip host/etc.". Generally the staff tend to talk & when I am blowing numbers out of the water in sales the staff catches wind of it & will back me up when customers ask.

    The other key to it is staying busy. Customers can be like sheep, they want to go where the others go. If they see me always taking customers back for dances then they wonder what is so special about me, & they will ask me for a dance - so sometimes the dances sell themselves.


    You'll notice I don't ever say I'm the best/hottest/etc. I may be or I may not. I do elude to it, being modest is a huge factor in being confident without being arrogant.
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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    I'm not working yet (auditioning soon) however the first thing that came to mind when I read the comments is that, even if they work in the short term, aren't you worried about your work relationship with the other dancers in the long term? If you couldn't give a fuck, then go for it. But it might bite you on the arse later.

    'I'm the hottest girl here.': Perhaps figure out a way of saying almost exactly that without directly referring to the others. Compare yourselves to girls in general. Something like 'How often do you get a girl this hot ready to grind naked on you?' It doesn't offend anyone directly, and it shouldn't offend the guy, even if he's a more sensitive type.

    As for the more arrogant customers (20s-30s, been out drinking, loud-mouthed, know-it-all smartarse) often found inhabiting SCs, go crazy. Fight fire with fire. Make him look stupid and cheap in front of his mates, and drag him off for a dance. These guys usually act like dicks but are impressed when they meet their match.

    Cutesy and nice will just make YOU look stupid with the arrogant custies. However it might be just the ticket for an older or more refined guy who enjoys the company of a gorgeous, warm girl. Know your customer.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    Quote Originally Posted by Elusive21 View Post
    i just remembered why your posts so frequently bother me.

    you think you are so much better than the veteran dancers (who you call old, or barbie dolls that are too skinny, too tan, fake looking, etc) and constantly critisize these types of dancers in your posts, instead of giving them a chance and maybe even learning something from them.

    and also, what a horrible unprofessional thing to say! calling dancers hags and old ladies to a custy!
    If you knew how mean they were with me on my first night, you probably knew why I would call them like that. They asked for it; what comes around goes around!

    And yes, I do feel I'm better than many veteran dancers; stripping is not meant to be a lifetime job (why the hell I see ladies passed their mid 40's dressed up like teenyboopers?!). When I get older, I don't see myself showing off my wrinkles to men, but programming computers instead (my actual job). Plus, I'm not the one who sleeps with customers (like those ladies I mentioned), nor I'm spending my money like crazy; of course I'm way better than them! I'm making smarter choices, and I'm younger. Who's the one resuming college to go to law school? I am. Who are the ones without a GED doing the customers? them.

    I can go on with a list of why I'm better than those specific dancers, but I also know some other dancers from other clubs (that I also work at) that are better than me, and I acknowledge that too.





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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    If you knew how mean they were with me on my first night, you probably knew why I would call them like that. They asked for it; what comes around goes around!
    I don't care what they said or did, you aren't going to be helping yourself out in the long run if you are talking bad about your co-workers. Not only will some customers look down on it, but most clubs have rules against it which could lead you to getting reprimanded by the club manager, or you could find yourself in physical danger from other dancers!

    As for what they did or said your first night, most new dancers to get harassed - regardless of if they are new to the industry or just new to the club. It happened to me when I was new, & it happened probably to most of the dancers here on SW. If you are getting your feelings hurt over something they said then you need to toughen up a bit or learn how to deal with it through proper means like reporting it to management. You don't EVER talk bad about other dancers though! Not to other customers, & usually not to other dancers either. Word always gets around & it will eventually come back to bite you. If it hasn't yet you ought to stop while you are ahead before it does!


    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    And yes, I do feel I'm better than many veteran dancers; stripping is not meant to be a lifetime job (why the hell I see ladies passed their mid 40's dressed up like teenyboopers?!). When I get older, I don't see myself showing off my wrinkles to men, but programming computers instead (my actual job). Plus, I'm not the one who sleeps with customers (like those ladies I mentioned), nor I'm spending my money like crazy; of course I'm way better than them! I'm making smarter choices, and I'm younger. Who's the one resuming college to go to law school? I am. Who are the ones without a GED doing the customers? them.
    This is very arrogant. You obviously haven't been in this industry very long, & after spending more time in it you will see a lot more diversity. If you think dancers working into their mid 40's is bad you have another thing coming to you! I've seen them work way beyond 40 (into their 60's & 70's), & many were still top earners doing far less than what you'd probably be caught doing. The industry has changed tremendously over the years, so a lot of those ladies were dancing before lap dancing was ever really common. You need to think twice before you start talking down & thinking other jobs are better than dancing or "actual jobs" as you put it. There are plenty of us on here with degrees who worked in the corporate world for years & LEFT because dancing was a lot better. Maybe when you get that job programming, & you've been doing it for a good number of years, you will look back & realize why so many women prefer dancing. After that I suspect you will change your tune. Not everyone is meant for the same thing & if they have been dancing for that long it was probably not by mistake, it takes a lot to be able to stay in the industry for a long time.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    I can go on with a list of why I'm better than those specific dancers, but I also know some other dancers from other clubs (that I also work at) that are better than me, and I acknowledge that too.
    You are making it sound like all of them are high school drop outs who are sleeping with customers & don't know anything about money. Again, I highly suspect that this is a tall tale. I think you need to check your facts. If it were like that the club probably wouldn't have survived & there's a good chance a lot of the dancers wouldn't be wasting their time in the club if they were sleeping with all the customers.

    If you enjoy working at other clubs more, by all means go work at those clubs! If you can't at least keep your mouth shut about your co-workers then you probably aren't making a wise decision to dance at their club... doing so would be the opposite of a wise decision since each day you are doing that you are taking a gamble that they would find out & possibly cause you more pain than your words were worth.
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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    Quote Originally Posted by missplayful View Post

    And i am sick of guys sneakily touching my ass while i walk at the club.. I hide a needle beetwen my fingers and as soon as i feel a sneaky finger or hand i stick this needle i enjoy it!... Couple nights i really did this... i really dont regret!
    Do you really stab multiple people with the same needle? Do you realize that you could give someone a very serious or even lethal disease by doing this?

    And people thanked you for it... No wonder people think strippers are disgusting whores, some of us are actively trying to infect people with AIDS and hepatitis. Jesus Christ.

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    Default Re: confidence vs. arrogance

    There is a girl who drags guys off, but she only works Friday and Saturday nights, and she's run into trouble with guys not paying for their dances. But 9 times out of 10 they do pay, so I guess she figures it's worth it.

    I want to build repeat customers, so I don't go with the arrogant attitude. If I'm being arrogant, I'm not focused on them, I'm focused on me. I don't think that works for long-term customers. However, just to mix things up with regulars, I will out of the blue be completely arrogant or just say we're going to dance without much conversation, just to change things up.

    I think if you're hot, you don't need to say it and don't need to hear it, and you're secure enough to compliment other girls. Putting other people down looks insecure, to me. I think what might be helping you is your aggressiveness rather than the arrogant part.

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