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Thread: Semi-Regular Wants More

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    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Semi-Regular Wants More

    There is a guy who used to be a regular, a very regular, regular. I could always count on him like clockwork to provide me with a certain amount of income per week and things seemed fairly good except he drove off my other regulars because he would always overstay his welcome and prevent me from earning money. And now after I got frustrated with him and asked him to stay away he has come back, done a few dances and already he is asking me to come home with him and sleep with him. He says he doesn't want to have sex, he just wants to cuddle. And he wants to schedule time at my job to discuss our relationship. I feel so stupid just posting this. Please, I need advice.

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    Honey if its frustrating you then drop him.. Just because he comes in doesn't mean you need to be near him. Another note since I'm a bitch.. Schedule the discussion but tell him he needs to bring a certain amount of since he is taking your time, just make sure is a large amount.. If that doesn't show him what your "relationship" is I say just tell him I work here and if he wants to hangout with you he needs to bring enough for you to hangout at work.

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    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    Thank you. I just need some support. I know what I need to do (more than ever). I just lack self-esteem and confidence. Thank you for the support. I am headed in today, will see how it goes.

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    Veteran Member girlfromipanema's Avatar
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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    Are you considering sleeping over this guy's house? Aside from that you should always be in control of your time in the club. If you don't feel he is worth your time, better to let him go.

    I had a regular once who used to give me a substantial amount of money but kept demanding more and more of my time. At some point it just wasn't worth it anymore so I ended it. I was struggling a little at first with the loss, but I recovered.

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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    been there. it's hard because you kind of want to tell him that you don't actually like him but if you told him that you'd lose him in an instant.

    keep in mind that all regulars have an expiration date so it seems like you've gotten to the point where now you just have to lead him on as long as possible. say you just got out of a bad relationship and would rather "take it slow" and "get to know him" more IN the club. and then when you're with him in the club talk about your money problems to keep him spending.

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    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    My problem is he knows me too well. He has been seeing me for a really long time. He will give me ultimatums and then later he will admit that I called his bluff. Perhaps I have gotten to know him too well . I don't have any interest in sleeping with him, I like him but meh... the strip club life shuts me down sexually. That and I can't trust him, it's all a big game to him so it should be a game to me too.

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    Veteran Member neliana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    End it! He's hit his "expiration date". Even in this economy, there are plenty more customers out there...this guy sounds like way too much hassle at this point!

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    The problem I'm seeing here is shes too shy to end it, now I know that will only cause problems in the end if she doesn't try to ween him down. I still say go with the if you want my time you need to pay for it. I had a "we need to talk about out relationship" guy before (two in truth), they become stalkers if you ever take it out of the club even for a minute. Mind you mine was from the guy paying the manager cause I simply dropped him.

    The last one I had I did the "you need to bring enough money for me to sit down and chat with you" It worked pretty well made up to a hour of dances plus tips just to hear the guy talk about how maybe we need to become closer before I told him I'm just not ready and I do have to work. The guy offered to pay me to just hangout at his house but I said how working here makes me feel like I'm making it out of my own and I want to work, not be a pet/sub/whatever word you want to use. In this talk just say if he wants you to hangout with him only he needs to bring in enough for you to do that. Afterwards if he comes in without the money yes ignore him til he brings it.. I say if this doesn't show him your here for the money nothing will..

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    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    Okay... I am dealing with this guy again. He has been buying dances from me again. Anyway... he was all nice after our last blow-up. And BTW I really appreciate all the helpful advice. I don't know what is wrong with me that my own feelings and desires aren't enough for me so thank you all for the support.

    So... he was all nice for a while and he is still "trying" to be nice but he hit me with a triple whammy the other day. He essentially asked me to do several things for him after giving me a break from his pressure. He wants me to accept a hotel room from him, close to where I work in order that I will have enough extra time to be able to do "something" with him. He says that being with me in the hotel room would only be something that would happen if I "invited" him. My thought is that once I do anything for him, he goes into ultra-high-pressure mode and he would have a key to the room, being he paid for it. I think I know how that scenario would play out and even if it didn't - it would cause him to rev-up his pressuring and go into all-out pressure mode.

    Please share your thoughts, feelings.

    PS, I told him that I was not up for a relationship but he still talks about having one. I told him as long as I am working as a stripper I would not be available for a relationship but I realize that no matter what job I had I would not be up for it. I am just not up for it. Even if we were compatible a relationship has to work to the benefit of both people and not be a situation where one person sacrifices in order to be with another out of a false sense of obligation.

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    Veteran Member Arizona_Angel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    Just end it. I have been there and believe me it is NOT worth the hassle and drama. You will get another regular ~ tell him to piss off.

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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    Tell him that while you enjoy talking to him, your time at the club is for working. Elaborate by saying you would be happy to spend time with him INSIDE the club while you are being compensated, but you have no intention of ever moving the relationship outside of the club. Then let him know that if he can't be a good customer to you inside the club, that you will be FORCED to find other customers who are happy to compensate you for your time INSIDE the club (that would be his fault & he needs to know that). At that point tell him "I'm going to let you think about what you want to do for a bit, & I'll check in with you later to see what you have decided". Walk away, go work the room & let him see you taking other customers back for dances.

    If you want, you can also let him know that if he tries to pressure you for OTC any more that you will just start walking away... including if he does it while he has your doing lapdances. Be sure to let the manager know upfront that you are giving him the ultimatum in order to keep him as a customer INSIDE the club, which also helps them make money off of him.... & gives them a heads up as to why you would walk out of him on a private dance.
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    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    Thank you I am just going to have to be strong.

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    Veteran Member Lacy Luck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    Do not ever let a customer guilt you into making things more than they are! He is a customer, he pays for you to entertain him at the club, THE END. You are not obligated to him for anything more than the time in the club he pays you for. You do NOT have to be his friend. It sounds like he is trying to manipulate you, because you are still the "too nice" dancer. Time to toughen up a bit girly! Lay down the law with this guy. Look him dead in the eye and say, "I will not, under any circumstance, meet you in a hotel. Ever." Then change the subject back to him buying dances. If he says no to dances, its "Excuse me, I have to get back to work." Walk away. It's futile and a waste of time to argue with him about "But why wont you 'meet me' 'date me' 'sleep with me'" questions from customers. You don't owe a reason why. The answer is No.

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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    Quote Originally Posted by Lacy Luck View Post
    Do not ever let a customer guilt you into making things more than they are! He is a customer, he pays for you to entertain him at the club, THE END. You are not obligated to him for anything more than the time in the club he pays you for. You do NOT have to be his friend. It sounds like he is trying to manipulate you, because you are still the "too nice" dancer. Time to toughen up a bit girly! Lay down the law with this guy. Look him dead in the eye and say, "I will not, under any circumstance, meet you in a hotel. Ever." Then change the subject back to him buying dances. If he says no to dances, its "Excuse me, I have to get back to work." Walk away. It's futile and a waste of time to argue with him about "But why wont you 'meet me' 'date me' 'sleep with me'" questions from customers. You don't owe a reason why. The answer is No.
    This is the best advice here.

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    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Semi-Regular Wants More

    The thing is... He will come in and (I know right away) that I am going to have to sit with him for a long time, hours... And then at some point he will do 15 private dances with me (without stopping) and he does this on a regular basis. It is great to make the money - except all the other girls can't help but notice that I have been doing private dances for a long time and no doubt their jealousy grows - it is like rubbing it in their faces. But that is why I am there, to make money. Often times he will sit with me for six hours. On nights when the club is slow it is a blessing, on other nights not as much.

    He has gone into a rage because...

    I talked to one of my coworkers while he was there.

    Because once on a good night I mentioned I was having a good night without specifically thanking him for his part in it, even though I thanked him for doing the dances with me.

    His mantra is... "It has to be OTC if you want me to continue seeing you."

    He is an older customer who has been going to strip clubs for years and years and years. No doubt he is fine-tuning his skillz. No doubt I am a project. He tells me he loves me and he is kinda charming but I know that once he was able to get his dick in me, it would be over because that is all he wants and cares about.

    Also he will buy me gifts but never anything nice, just cheap things. It bothers me because he could have gotten me a private dance or two instead of some cheap earrings I will never wear.

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