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Thread: "do you have a boyfriend?"

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    Default "do you have a boyfriend?"

    why do you all even bother asking this? For me personally, I'm not going to see you out of the club whether I'm single or not (and girls who do that kind of thing will often do that whether they have a boyfriend or not), so it's not relevant.
    I've noticed that if you say you don't have a boyfriend the customer assumes you are lying... But if you say you do have a boyfriend then some get turned off on buying dances. This is just a lose-lose question!
    Why not leave this question alone and enjoy the fantasy in the "here and now" in the club?

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    I always tell them I don't do relationships and I just like to fuck
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    usually i try to give of the free love vibe and say i dont like to be tied down because im young fun and sexy.

    if they press the matter and start trying to tell me to date them or ask why i wont do commitment, i tell them that i am in a very committed relationship with benjamin franklin.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    I've answered this question several times before and no matter what anyone says, I always tell a guy I have a boyfriend. it doesn't kill the fantasy and it's never stopped me from getting dances.

    a guy usually doesn't just say "do you have a boyfriend?" he usually says "you must have a boyfriend, right?" and he's expecting you to say "no" because you're a dancer and he expects you to lie because duh your job is to make a fantasy. by saying "yes" you've completely surprised, intrigued, and SLIGHTLY disappointed him. I say slightly because guys for the most part think pretty logically as opposed to emotionally and he's not going to get bent out of shape over some girl he just met.

    then he starts to wonder all sorts of new questions. "your boyfriend doesn't mind then you do this?" "does he get jealous?" to which you respond: "he doesn't pay my bills' and then he remembers ohhhh yeahhhh you're at WORK. this is your JOB. then he'll be more inclined to open up his wallet.

    I know a girl who wears her engagement ring and wedding ring to work. she BANKS. she's very often the top earner at our club and she doesn't do extras. she told me that guys will appreciate a girl who's honest and it won't stop them from spending money. it might even make them spend MORE.

    guys want what they can't have so it makes it more of a "chase" in their mind. they say "well if I can't take her out I can get a lap dance from her at least...I bet her boyfriend would be so pissed if he saw her giving a lap dance to ME". they figure if they can't have you any other way, why not get the satisfaction of getting a lap dance? he still gets you naked on top of him which is exactly what he wanted. guys are also less likely to feel bad about touching another man's girl. your boyfriend could be his best friend, they don't care. especially the younger guys, they think with their pants.

    think you can't get regulars if you tell people you're taken? think again.

    ALL of my regulars know I'm taken. I think a couple of them even get off on that. one of my regs is really shy and reserved but I tell him he's such a badass for texting me. he doesn't text me anything sexual, he usually just says stuff like "hey I miss you" but when he's in the club I act like it's our dirty little secret.

    my regulars who are old and divorced think that if they keep coming in to see me they'll eventually win me over and it's really cute. one of them brings me dinner when I'm at work and he always comes in looking really happy and proud saying like "I bet your BOYFRIEND never does this for you! see how much I care about you?"

    if a guy seems put off that you're taken, talk to him even MORE. if you have a really good, funny, interesting conversation, you'll stand out from all the other girls.

    think about it this way, have you ever had a crush on a guy who was taken? even if you didn't pursue him, did the fact that he was taken completely shut you off or did you still like him? if you think someone is attractive and you get along, chances are you're going to develop an unconditional crush on them. you might not say anything or act on it but it keeps you wondering "what if". that's another really good tactic with dancing. you make the guy wonder "what if." what if he had met you before you met your boyfriend? what if he had met you outside the club? surely you would have left your boyfriend for him then! what if he keeps seeing you and then one day it doesn't work out with your boyfriend? some guys are turned on by a challenge.

    also, some customers flat out just DON'T care and I find that the customers who are more accepting of the fact that I have a boyfriend are the ones who will waste less of my time because they came to spend money, not pick up a date. all the douchebags who claim they won't get a lap dance since I'm taken never had the money to in the first place and just wanted to bang a stripper. guys who come into the strip club to hang out and have a good time don't care if you're taken, why would it matter to them? they never expected to date you anyway. it would be like if a customer told you he was taken. you would be thinking "okayyy your point is? I came here to get your money, not take you out on a date."not exactly the same thing, I know, but hopefully you get my point.

    saying you're taken even if you're not is a REALLY easy way to weed out the time-wasters. you want money, not a date. saying you're single gives the guy a green light to ask you out. how can you close a sale when the guy is now dead set on taking you out? getting a lap dance won't feed his ego. if you tell the guy you're taken he has two options: to spend money or fuck off.

    or have you ever had those guys who REALLY want you to come "party" with them after work and you have to have a ten minute conversation to get them to back off? you explain to them that you don't go out with people you just met and you're really tired but they're like "come on it'll be fun we got a keg and some weed and there's a big pool and a hot tub and barbeque and jay-z and usher are gonna be there..."

    try this next time:

    "what are you doing after this?"
    "going home to my boyfriend"
    conversation=over

    I used to tell guys I was single when I started dancing. I would get asked out dozens of times a night. I'd beg for them to just take me for a lap dance but they'd say "no I 'd rather spend the money taking you out!" the first time I told a customer I had a boyfriend it was actually an accident. he asked me and I said "yes" before I even thought about it. it was a guy my age so I figured I had ruined my sale. when he still bought a dance it completely changed my perspective. now I tell all of my customers I'm taken.

    sorry that was such a novel, but I think it's such a big misconception that a lot of girls have and I'm TELLING you that you'll waste so much less time with morons who think they can pick up strippers.
    Last edited by xGigi; 12-01-2010 at 12:27 PM.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    I really dont ask if the girls have a bf, i always assume its yes. Usually they will tell me if they have bf's or not. I really dont care. LIke you said, some guys dont really care because they know they dont have a chance anways. Actually, its true what said about being a turn on, cus in my mind im saying " i bet her bf must be pissed by her giving me all these naughty lap dances and private shows" then a smile comes to my face.lol. But really i dont care about their SO.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Also, ive never really seen any difference between the quality of LDs given by a girl with a SO, and a single girl. I think girls with a SO give slightly better Lapdances than the once that don't.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    My canned response is usually, "I have lots of boyfriends." It gets a laugh and they usually buy after that.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    I dont discuss personal life with them. Its a fantasy for them so I just make stuff up to fit what I think theyre looking for which makes it all the more fun to let them down later on after Ive emptied their bank account.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyskys View Post
    Why not leave this question alone and enjoy the fantasy in the "here and now" in the club?
    Seriously. I have zero curiosity about any dancer's personal life and hate when they lay it on me unasked either, or dig into me beyond "where are you from?"

    For me, the strip club is like a restaurant. Feel like getting out of the house. Head out, check out tonight's specials, make a few selections, and enjoy my evening. Be polite and tip. If I had a nice time, maybe I'll come back, order what I liked last time or try something new.

    No need to get into personal crap with the chef and waitstaff to have a nice meal.
    Last edited by foodgroup; 12-01-2010 at 02:14 AM.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    ^ I like your style sir.

    I've noticed most guys ask the bf question by saying "what does your boyfriend think of you doing this". It's almost always that exact phrasing. They think theyre being all clever by trying to trick me into admitting i have a boyfriend. I'll usually with a joke, or by deflecting. Sometimes I'll say "ge doesn't mind because he's a figment of my imagination... Tbh he sucks at giving foot rubs though.". I've never had a custy who hasn't found that pretty funny.

    I've lost dances before when I tried to be honest about having a boyfriend. I was in a booth for a half hour, ge asked if I had a bf, I said yes, and he basically told me that that just killed the fantasy. From here on out I lie.



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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    interesting post xgigi - that definitely gives me a lot to think about.

    it seems like i almost always tell them that i am single, which does lead to constant questions about when i can hang out with them or go on a date.

    i think i will try telling them that i have a boyfriend.

    or should i tell them im married (if they ask, that is) and wear my huge wedding ring at work?

    has anybody done this?

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Elusive21 View Post
    interesting post xgigi - that definitely gives me a lot to think about.

    it seems like i almost always tell them that i am single, which does lead to constant questions about when i can hang out with them or go on a date.

    i think i will try telling them that i have a boyfriend.

    or should i tell them im married (if they ask, that is) and wear my huge wedding ring at work?

    has anybody done this?
    no, but I've REALLY been considering it. the girl at my club who wears her wedding ring to work banks. I think guys get off on the fact that they can see a married girl naked. I'm gonna a fake wedding and engagement ring after the holidays are over and I have my money all sorted out. I want to buy a convincing looking one that doesn't turn my finger green.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    i agree with gigi, but i think it can depend on the girl and the type of customer who goes to the club, what kind of hustle they expect. i think they're find hearing you're with somebody, because in our society, most relationships don't last. so they figure that you'll be on the market before long. and even then, people do cheat.

    i'm single, but they never believe me anyways. i hate lying to customers, but if they want to hear it so bad, i guess i can make that sacrifice. at this point i usually will do the "young and independent" thing. i mean it, so they usually drop it.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Quote Originally Posted by xGigi View Post
    no, but I've REALLY been considering it. the girl at my club who wears her wedding ring to work banks. I think guys get off on the fact that they can see a married girl naked. I'm gonna a fake wedding and engagement ring after the holidays are over and I have my money all sorted out. I want to buy a convincing looking one that doesn't turn my finger green.
    This makes sense. For some guys it is a power trip issue - this girl is in my lap because her husband isn't man enough to pay the bills. This is no comment on the accuracy of the view, just the perception of some of the more cave men types.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    This makes sense. For some guys it is a power trip issue - this girl is in my lap because her husband isn't man enough to pay the bills. This is no comment on the accuracy of the view, just the perception of some of the more cave men types.
    I also noticed that the dancers who have kids make a lot more than the girls who don't or say they don't. probably for the same reason? a guy figures "hey this asshole that she's with can't support his own kids I'll show her who can"

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Quote Originally Posted by nikki-chan View Post
    when i cam i get this question all the time, i tell them i have a girlfriend<33!
    I like that. How does that work for you? Do they press the issue much more?
    Quote Originally Posted by lagirl View Post
    Those housewives need to stop being vain lushes and making us look like criminals

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    I've tried both ways... I do A LOT better playing the single card.. if you admit you have a boyfriend... it then leads to a shitload of questions about "how does he feel about you doing this", "how long have you been together" etc.... takes away from where I want the conversation to be.

    I like to give off that I'm single but never available..

    Although, I do share this with my regulars who are happily married and married couples who come in and, they respect you more for being honest.
    I like to party.. So I like my Jesus to party too.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Quote Originally Posted by xGigi View Post
    I also noticed that the dancers who have kids make a lot more than the girls who don't or say they don't. probably for the same reason? a guy figures "hey this asshole that she's with can't support his own kids I'll show her who can"
    i've noticed that about kids too. i really need to start lying about it, but i'm afraid they'll start asking questions about my non-existent children. worth a try though.

    i think it's probably more because guys think that she needs the money more, that she's using it for responsible reasons, that she might only strip to support her kids instead of doing it cos she likes money and freedom, etc. and if she needs the money for her kids, hey, maybe she's also willing to break a few rules to get it. also, it means that she's busy, so it's not like she's rejecting you the way a single, childfree stripper is if you ask to meet otc. plus, men don't want to date single mothers much because it's too much responsibility, and she has to be up early and all that.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Quote Originally Posted by JenniferH View Post
    I've tried both ways... I do A LOT better playing the single card.. if you admit you have a boyfriend... it then leads to a shitload of questions about "how does he feel about you doing this", "how long have you been together" etc.... takes away from where I want the conversation to be.

    I like to give off that I'm single but never available..

    Although, I do share this with my regulars who are happily married and married couples who come in and, they respect you more for being honest.
    Just commenting on the fact that it seems like some guys are idiots when in the SC.. why do you care about whether someones SO likes their job or info about their SO? I don't go to buy a car and ask the guy how his wife feels about him selling cars for a living.. lol. Just trying to make a point it seems like some guys can ask stupid questions and it seems by reading these forums it happens often, im sort of glad it probably makes me a sight for sore eyes when i come in the club Lol knowing they are getting money without the BS of someone hitting on them or asking stupid shit.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Quote Originally Posted by she sells sanctuary View Post
    i've noticed that about kids too. i really need to start lying about it, but i'm afraid they'll start asking questions about my non-existent children. worth a try though.

    i think it's probably more because guys think that she needs the money more, that she's using it for responsible reasons, that she might only strip to support her kids instead of doing it cos she likes money and freedom, etc. and if she needs the money for her kids, hey, maybe she's also willing to break a few rules to get it. also, it means that she's busy, so it's not like she's rejecting you the way a single, childfree stripper is if you ask to meet otc. plus, men don't want to date single mothers much because it's too much responsibility, and she has to be up early and all that.
    I've made up a kid in the past when I got bored at work lol. I'm thinking about doing it on a regular basis though to see how it affects my income. it's worth a shot lol

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    usually i try to give of the free love vibe and say i dont like to be tied down because im young fun and sexy.

    if they press the matter and start trying to tell me to date them or ask why i wont do commitment, i tell them that i am in a very committed relationship with benjamin franklin.
    haha...I gotta use this. You always give the best witty but would seriously work comments ever! I love them!!!
    ~*Dream*~

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post

    if they press the matter and start trying to tell me to date them or ask why i wont do commitment, i tell them that i am in a very committed relationship with benjamin franklin.

    lolz love it

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Quote Originally Posted by xGigi View Post
    I also noticed that the dancers who have kids make a lot more than the girls who don't or say they don't. probably for the same reason? a guy figures "hey this asshole that she's with can't support his own kids I'll show her who can"
    This could be for some. Also, some guys prefer chasing single mothers due to beliefs in certain stereotypes regarding these girls.

    As the theory goes, a single woman with children certainly has no need to protect her theoretical virtue, nor does she hold her private part in such magical esteem after passing a kid or two through it. And, of course, stringing the theory out a little further, she must also need money badly as she, no doubt, had her kid(s) with a loser that is paying little to nothing in child support.

    Again, this is no commentary as to the veractiy of these theories, just recognition of their existence and how they may influence the spending behaviors of some guys.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    Some interesting posts. I don't ask them if they have BF as it is a moot issue. Sometimes they have volunteered this data. I have never known a dancer who did not have a BF, husband, or x who was living her.

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    Default Re: "do you have a boyfriend?"

    I will openly admit to th fact hat the ONLY time I ask this question (and usually not so directly) is if I intend to ask the girl out or am considering that OTC contact might be worthwhile with this particular girl. HOWEVER - this has ZERO effect on whether or not I spend money on the girl, literally, none. ONLY effects whether or not I pursue OTC with her IF I get the vibe that she's interested.

    xGigi's post was VERY interesting. I know many, many dancers (in fact it's getting to where they're the majority of our circle, lmao) and I spend a LOT of time in the clubs, and I can say that it works very well sometimes, but poorly more often. There are exceptions, yes - but I've seen many a sale fall through for this reason, many a VIP not get extended, and more than a few regulars lost once they figure out either that the girl in question is taken or isn't leaving the guy she's with.

    Athena - that was priceless!

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