Results 1 to 25 of 25

Thread: Boyfriends and OTC

  1. #1
    Member zombee's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    73
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked 51 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Boyfriends and OTC

    I have been dating a guy for a year and he is very understanding about my job, which is what I expect because he knew about it before we got serious. We live together now and things are going very well.

    Last night a customer came in to see me and we spent a long time in the VIP. He is so far the only customer in 4 years I haven't had to fake a connection with, not that I am attracted to him at all. He seems like a generous man and wants to see me outside the club to take me shopping. We talked about it quite a bit in VIP, I said I have never spent OTC time with a customer and it's something I am not comfortable with. At that point, I was thinking about possibly doing it, because we were getting along so well, so I told him if it were to ever happen, I would never be anywhere alone with him, and I am not attracted to him so I would treat him like a friend, which means really no physical contact. He seemed genuinely okay with this; I realize he may turn out to try to pressure me for more, or make me feel uncomfortable, but if I were ever to see a customer outside the club, I intend to remain in a position where I could easily cut off all OTC contact; he would not have my personal cell number, he would not know what car I drive or what area of town I live in, and so on. I feel like I fulfilled my moral obligation to the customer by telling him honestly how things would play out if we met OTC, but that the chances of that happening are not so good.

    I asked my boyfriend what he thinks about this and he thought about it for a day then told me he does not want me to do it. I think this customer could help me out a lot by buying me things I could use, and by occasionally meeting him outside the club, I could keep him as a customer for longer. My boyfriend doesn't like the idea because some other girls he works with told him that there will be an element of debt to my relationship with a customer and I understand that but I don't think it's an insurmountable obstacle. After all, people spend lots of money on me in the club and I don't think I owe them anything. However, this would be the first time I have met a customer outside the club and I know it might work out differently than I hope.

    For girls with boyfriends, do your boyfriends care if you meet a customer OTC? If he did care, would you drop the matter and not do it, or should I wait awhile and try to discuss it again?

    For girls who visit customers outside the club for things like lunch or shopping, has it gone well and do you think it is worth it? Do any of you feel like you have a genuine friend in a regular customer, and has this complicated the dancer-customer relationship? I am sorry this post turned out kind of long and I am sure it's a general topic that has been covered before but I was hoping for some tailored advice. Thanks in advance.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Before you cosnider OTC read this: .

    OTC is rarely worth the money.

  3. #3
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Great White North
    Posts
    3,605
    Thanks
    2,475
    Thanked 2,620 Times in 1,383 Posts
    My Mood
    Chatty

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    My boy is 100% fine with it. He's like "go out and spend his money honey, I'll have dinner ready when you get home". I have pretty well the same ground rules as you - it's strictly a platonic thing between myself and the customer.

    But you know what I've found? I dont want to go out with customers anymore, I'd rather be home with my honey than out shopping with another man. They truely always do want something I return for the gifts too - they just don't tell you staright up, and try and guilt you into it later.

    Your relationship is obviously worth more to you than a few new things. I wouldn't do it if your bf isn't okay with it.

    Can you give the customer a link to an amazon wishlist or something?



  4. #4
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    13,467
    Thanks
    10,869
    Thanked 20,995 Times in 6,795 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    IMHO, once you take it outside of the club, you rarely get as much money (or as many gifts that translate into money) to make it worth your time, effort, boundaries crossed, etc. You should at least tell this guy that you want to see him in the club a 'few more times' before you hang out with him outside of the club. ("I just need to get to know you a bit better first," etc.)

    Guys will usually spend much more $$$ in the club--because they think they have a chance of being with you! Once you demystify the fantasy by hanging out with him outside, things usually end up in his favor, not yours.

  5. #5
    Featured Member pussyinboots's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    South UK
    Posts
    1,682
    Thanks
    291
    Thanked 583 Times in 397 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by zombee View Post
    I have been dating a guy for a year and he is very understanding about my job, which is what I expect because he knew about it before we got serious. We live together now and things are going very well.

    Last night a customer came in to see me and we spent a long time in the VIP. He is so far the only customer in 4 years I haven't had to fake a connection with, not that I am attracted to him at all. He seems like a generous man and wants to see me outside the club to take me shopping. We talked about it quite a bit in VIP, I said I have never spent OTC time with a customer and it's something I am not comfortable with. At that point, I was thinking about possibly doing it, because we were getting along so well, so I told him if it were to ever happen, I would never be anywhere alone with him, and I am not attracted to him so I would treat him like a friend, which means really no physical contact. He seemed genuinely okay with this; I realize he may turn out to try to pressure me for more, or make me feel uncomfortable, but if I were ever to see a customer outside the club, I intend to remain in a position where I could easily cut off all OTC contact; he would not have my personal cell number, he would not know what car I drive or what area of town I live in, and so on. I feel like I fulfilled my moral obligation to the customer by telling him honestly how things would play out if we met OTC, but that the chances of that happening are not so good.

    I asked my boyfriend what he thinks about this and he thought about it for a day then told me he does not want me to do it. I think this customer could help me out a lot by buying me things I could use, and by occasionally meeting him outside the club, I could keep him as a customer for longer. My boyfriend doesn't like the idea because some other girls he works with told him that there will be an element of debt to my relationship with a customer and I understand that but I don't think it's an insurmountable obstacle. After all, people spend lots of money on me in the club and I don't think I owe them anything. However, this would be the first time I have met a customer outside the club and I know it might work out differently than I hope.

    For girls with boyfriends, do your boyfriends care if you meet a customer OTC? If he did care, would you drop the matter and not do it, or should I wait awhile and try to discuss it again?

    For girls who visit customers outside the club for things like lunch or shopping, has it gone well and do you think it is worth it? Do any of you feel like you have a genuine friend in a regular customer, and has this complicated the dancer-customer relationship? I am sorry this post turned out kind of long and I am sure it's a general topic that has been covered before but I was hoping for some tailored advice. Thanks in advance.


    OK...let's see if I can get this across reasonably easily.

    I'm not a dancer - so I will never have an OTC situation like you. However, I model high heels on the Internet and I HAVE had a situation when I accepted a 'no strings' arrangement with an admirer who wanted to buy me the high heels to model on my Site.

    Either he or I would choose the heels - he would buy them - and send them to me at a PO BOX Number that I gave him. Totally seperated so I thought.

    He was kind, generous, a professional gentleman with impeccable taste and manners in his correspondence. Things went along perfectly for around 6 months - then I started to get the EMails....once a day to begin with - then nearly once and hour. What had started as a straightforward shopping arrangement to buy me shoes, began to deviate into requests for telephone numbers and private telephone conversations, private photographs of an explicit nature - and when I began to withdraw and start talking about ending the arrangement - the messages and EMails and texts (Yeah - I NEVER gave him a business mobile number - so how??) - anyway they all became more and more angry, abusive and explicit.

    Now - I THOUGHT that he had no way of finding out who or where I was - until one day he EMailed me a Google Earth photo of my house - and I freaked.....!!

    Cutting a long story short - I did manage to get this guy out of my hair - eventually, but it meant involving website owners, mobile phone companies and the Police here in the UK to sort it all out. All along, my husband had been dead against it. Not because he didn't trust me - he'd seen it before and he didn't trust the other guy. Hmmm.

    The point that I'm trying to make - is that with the best will in the world, men like that are the same all over - and there is no such thing as a 'no strings attached' arrangement. Sooner or later they will expect more - and they will screw with your head to try and get it.

    Your boyfriend and his work friends are right. Think long and hard about this - and be very careful. Better still, follow their advice and don't get involved. Even your best plans could go up the swannee...and you'll just end up with endless hassle.
    Last edited by pussyinboots; 11-28-2010 at 06:19 PM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to pussyinboots For This Useful Post:


  7. #6
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,149
    Thanks
    1,307
    Thanked 2,530 Times in 1,295 Posts
    My Mood
    Sick

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    I often do OTC but only if I feel I really trust the customer or I think I will start to lose them if I dont. I am always clear that it does not involve sex, but of course they always try to put on the moves. Im pretty confident when deflecting advances and I always expect it so it doesnt worry me much. I usually go for the public places as well... dinner, nightclub, etc. If its somewhere private I usually ask to bring a friend. I always get cash at the start of an OTC and I usually ask for $1K, but have occasionally done $500+ if I was desperate at the time. The way I see it, hanging out with a customer I like for $1K is a hell of a lot easier than going to the club and working my ass off for it.

    My husband does not mind at all. I usually give him the guys mobile number and the details of where I am supposed to be going and anything else I know. I also text him when I go to the toilet so he knows Im ok. He's a really confident guy and not jealous at all so he has never had a problem.

    I have had a couple harry situations. One where the guy didnt pay - which is why I now strictly enforce the cash in advance rule (I also broke my rule and didnt know him that well - I was going with another girl who did know him). Another semi-stalker situation which I handled well, but I should have used my brain more in that one. I knew he was falling in love which is not good.

    Its definitely playing with fire, but I am a risk taker and its in my nature. I always have my eyes on the reward.

    I have not yet lost an OTC customer. I guess by sometimes saying "no" they are forced to come to the club too. I think they like both because Im not usually dancing or naked OTC.

  8. #7
    Banned
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Lakewood, Colorado
    Posts
    1,145
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked 344 Times in 233 Posts
    My Mood
    Twisted

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    do you have to even ask why this isnt a good idea? bf's dont go good with clubs and otc doesnt work with or without a bf.

  9. #8
    Member zombee's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    73
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked 51 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Thanks to everyone for the very helpful posts from both perspectives. I am confident I wouldn't let myself get pressured into doing anything that wasn't safe or comfortable for me but I don't like the idea of mixing my personal life with work and it sounds like it could get out of hand very quickly. My boyfriend is not a jealous person, his concerns are safety-related and certainly valid.

    I have decided, at the very least, I will wait and see if he keeps coming into the club or if he brings me anything for Christmas. I like the Amazon wishlist idea and I might try that.

  10. #9
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    1,686
    Thanks
    419
    Thanked 989 Times in 437 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    I've done OTC a couple times but it's really a pain in the ass. the guy will agree to whatever you want and once you meet him somewhere it's just begging and negotiating. "how much do I have to pay you to do x y and z? no one will know! you don't have to tell your boyfriend! I'll buy you whatever you want! please I'm so lonely."

    he takes advantage of the fact that there's no bouncer around so who are you going to run to when he starts creeping you out? nobody.

  11. #10
    Member zombee's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    73
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked 51 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by xGigi View Post
    I've done OTC a couple times but it's really a pain in the ass. the guy will agree to whatever you want and once you meet him somewhere it's just begging and negotiating. "how much do I have to pay you to do x y and z? no one will know! you don't have to tell your boyfriend! I'll buy you whatever you want! please I'm so lonely."

    he takes advantage of the fact that there's no bouncer around so who are you going to run to when he starts creeping you out? nobody.
    I considered it turning out like this and I figured, if I got uncomfortable, I would give him a warning then call a cab and leave?

    I don't want to seem like I'm right on the verge of doing it, in fact some stories in this thread are making me realize I'm probably not the type to do this. Just want to explore all the possibilities.

  12. #11
    Featured Member yogibear179's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Location
    R.I
    Posts
    751
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 31 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    you cross boundaries this way. He isnt the only guy that will ask for this and seem ok. Are you comfortable with doing this more than once? is this what you envisioned your dancing carrer?Are you growing in the way you envision your best self? is this sustainable? OTC may very well work out for you. You have to trust your gut instinct.

    I think many of us on this board (i have at least) have had the same customer as you and looking back it wasnt worth it. If you lose him others will come along. One thing i noticed was that i started spending more time with regulars than i would have made by building my clientele in the club and possibly gaining more customers. in the end it effected my mojo.


  13. #12
    Featured Member yogibear179's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Location
    R.I
    Posts
    751
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 31 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    it could very well work out, hopefully im not dampening anything. im sure you would be safe if you were smart about it.
    Its more of a personal choice. if you are comfortable or not. Maybe you need to try it out in order to make a decision. Maybe you dont need to go through it in order to know how you will react to it at the end of the day. Some have good and bad experiences, it more about what you are ok with.


  14. #13
    Featured Member pussyinboots's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    South UK
    Posts
    1,682
    Thanks
    291
    Thanked 583 Times in 397 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by zombee View Post
    Thanks to everyone for the very helpful posts from both perspectives. I am confident I wouldn't let myself get pressured into doing anything that wasn't safe or comfortable for me but I don't like the idea of mixing my personal life with work and it sounds like it could get out of hand very quickly. My boyfriend is not a jealous person, his concerns are safety-related and certainly valid.

    I have decided, at the very least, I will wait and see if he keeps coming into the club or if he brings me anything for Christmas. I like the Amazon wishlist idea and I might try that.
    Wise move. Good luck hun.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

  15. #14
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    114
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by zombee View Post
    After all, people spend lots of money on me in the club and I don't think I owe them anything.
    then why not just keep it that way? its easier....

    i dont blame your boyfriend one bit for being upset....

  16. #15
    Featured Member yogibear179's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Location
    R.I
    Posts
    751
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 31 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    ^ it happens to us, its the nature of the job. to be asked OTC is not new. And she shared that with her boyfriend.


  17. #16
    Member zombee's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    73
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked 51 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Sylvia View Post
    then why not just keep it that way? its easier....

    i dont blame your boyfriend one bit for being upset....
    The reason I was considering this is to extend his shelf life as a customer. He will come see me some more, but he wants OTC; eventually, he will stop coming in, or he will find another girl who will go OTC. I know that no regular lasts forever, but not only do we get along well on a personal level (this is a first - I am naturally a very reserved and picky person), he is very generous. I would like him to come see me for as long as possible.

    My boyfriend's not really upset.

  18. #17
    Senior Member rock_n_roll_dream's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Kansas/San Antonio, TX
    Posts
    87
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked 28 Times in 14 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    In my opinion I don't go on any customer dates because I don't really see it as worth it....you might get some money out of it right then but when you start seeing guys outside of work it takes away from the "fantasy" aspect of it and they start seeing you as more of a friend or "like other girls" and they won't spend as much money on you in the club. I don't know it just seems like I'd get more money by drawing it out at the club...
    ~*Dream*~

  19. #18
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,149
    Thanks
    1,307
    Thanked 2,530 Times in 1,295 Posts
    My Mood
    Sick

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by zombee View Post
    The reason I was considering this is to extend his shelf life as a customer. He will come see me some more, but he wants OTC; eventually, he will stop coming in, or he will find another girl who will go OTC. I know that no regular lasts forever, but not only do we get along well on a personal level (this is a first - I am naturally a very reserved and picky person), he is very generous. I would like him to come see me for as long as possible.

    My boyfriend's not really upset.
    Although I am one of the only ones who is all for OTC for the right price... I do think you should tread carefully if you genuinely like the customer. It can become very confusing when someone you get along with is showering you with gifts and money and so much appreciation. Inside the club you can separate but outside it is much harder to separate fantasy and reality. You may experience temptation and that has also happened to me. That being said... Id still do it again. For me, 95% of my OTCs were well worth it.

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to Jessie_tinydancer For This Useful Post:


  21. #19
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    13,467
    Thanks
    10,869
    Thanked 20,995 Times in 6,795 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    ^ I dunno how you do it, girl. OTC (otherwise known as having a Sugar Daddy, right??) was always a disaster for me. I got some good shtuff out of it, but it was SO not worth the emotional wear and tear.

  22. #20
    Member
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    39
    Thanked 35 Times in 16 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Sylvia View Post
    then why not just keep it that way? its easier....

    i dont blame your boyfriend one bit for being upset....
    ugh. Are you even a dancer?

    Not all boyfriends would get upset about this. A customer recently offered to take me shopping and I wasn't sure whether to accept or not. My boyfriend told if I decided I wanted to go he was cool with it and offered to follow from a safe distance to make sure I was ok. I've known other girls who've had their boyfriends do this for them as well.

  23. #21
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Apr 2009
    Location
    The D in Big D stands for Drugs
    Posts
    756
    Thanks
    184
    Thanked 230 Times in 136 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    my boyfriend has an incredible amount of trust in me. He is okay with me meeting people for dates, as long as i am getting paid for it. he always tells me to take all of their money.
    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    Sucking dick should pay really, really, really, really well. If you are not living well and you suck dick for a living, you're doing it wrong.

  24. #22
    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Look behind you....
    Posts
    3,406
    Thanks
    5,155
    Thanked 4,132 Times in 1,638 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    Can you give the customer a link to an amazon wishlist or something?

    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




  25. #23
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,149
    Thanks
    1,307
    Thanked 2,530 Times in 1,295 Posts
    My Mood
    Sick

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    ^ I dunno how you do it, girl. OTC (otherwise known as having a Sugar Daddy, right??) was always a disaster for me. I got some good shtuff out of it, but it was SO not worth the emotional wear and tear.
    I think its more common here because in the state where I work there is absolutely no touching. I mean the customers are not even supposed to touch your hand. You have to table dance on a little stage and its fairly expensive - $90. At least in night club I can hold their hand or give them a hug or for larger parties with friends we'll do private lap dances, etc.

    This is a party city and most the women here are stuck up so a lot of the guys just want arm candy so they can get into a cool club or attention from a pretty girl. Also with escorting being legal, guys who want that sort of thing just get escorts.

    I dont always say yes. I had one last night wanted to take me to well known 24 hour restaurant in the city after work for $500. He had the money in his hand. I declined because I simply found him obnoxious. For the most part its guys who just wanna be seen with a hot girl and I wouldnt really describe it as a sugar daddy because it may only be a one off or couple times a year thing. Its not like Im constantly in contact with these guys and its purely at an hourly rate, there is no grey area of what Im going to get or not get. Some of them are regulars and some I might never see again. I have to admit I focus more on the party boy types... the ones who dont become attached to one girl. They could get a girl without paying, its just easier and they won't get any back chat lol.

  26. #24
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    13,467
    Thanks
    10,869
    Thanked 20,995 Times in 6,795 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    ^ More power to ya!

  27. #25
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    1,686
    Thanks
    419
    Thanked 989 Times in 437 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriends and OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by zombee View Post
    I considered it turning out like this and I figured, if I got uncomfortable, I would give him a warning then call a cab and leave?

    I don't want to seem like I'm right on the verge of doing it, in fact some stories in this thread are making me realize I'm probably not the type to do this. Just want to explore all the possibilities.
    you could warn him...but verbal warnings will only get you so far with a man. again, there's no bouncer protecting you so what's stopping him from just grabbing you and forcing you to do whatever he wants. not saying this particular guy will, but you do have to be careful.

Similar Threads

  1. Boyfriends?
    By sushidoll in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 08-15-2008, 06:40 PM
  2. Boyfriends
    By pacman in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 06-05-2007, 07:46 PM
  3. Boyfriends!!!
    By Valentino7777 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 09-02-2005, 10:54 AM
  4. Boyfriends??
    By tanandsandy in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-13-2005, 01:54 PM
  5. Ex-boyfriends
    By Giselle77 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 01-11-2005, 03:25 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •