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Thread: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

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    Default Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    I don't know whether to laugh or cry but I've been hit on by the dregs of society. People question why I'm waiting for the one I want but it's because sometimes I feel he's the last never married no kid guy out there, though I know he's not. Here's just a sampling of some of the "winners" who've hit on me.

    1) My one neighbor I'll call Bubba keeps asking me out. What's wrong you ask? Let's see, he drives a truck with a Confederate flag and has a hanging of Obama being lynched. If that wasn't bad he has long greasy hair, almost black teeth and creepy all around. He's also on probation for selling drinks at his house to minors. Real winner. I'm pretty sure he's a country song waiting to happen (no offense to country lovers).

    2) A guy I'll call baby daddy. I used to get asked out all the time by this guy who had four kids by four different women, and of course he didn't marry any of them. He was pleased with this.

    3) Perverts in general. I've been asked so many times just walking and it's creepy. I wasn't in known hooker areas, nor was I dressed sleazy. I suppose it's possible a few may have seen my modeling or dancing but this was never referenced. I was once asked for a quickie in front of the Sears Tower, a place NOT known for that (it's called Willis Tower but I refuse to call it that).

    Then there are the decent men who aren't for me:

    Obese men. I have no problem dating a chubby guy, though I prefer skinny nerdy types. However I get approached often by 300+ pound men. When I turn them down they get upset like how dare I. I have to mention none of these guys were nice to me either when I told them no thank you. If they had been nice I may have considered.

    Dads. I know there are some great dads but this is the one rule I can never bend. I've stated why repeatedly why I don't date them. Yet it never fails, these are the guys who hit on me. I turn them down or say we can be friends but not good enough.

    When I did online dating guess who responded? Yep, perverts, obese and dads. Same thing at singles groups. There can be 10 decent looking childless guys and they'll bypass me but the guys I want are never interested. I don't get this either. I am attractive, look younger, etc yet it seems the guys I want never want me. This seems to be something I've noticed with my other attractive friends, especially the dancers and models.

    Btw, I mean no offense to either dads or obese. These are just dating preferences and in the case of dads, unbendable. I might consider an obese man if he was working on losing weight.

    Does anyone else have this problem?It frustrates me because I feel like I'll either be alone or have to settle if the one I want never comes around.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    Ya know, Kelly, I don't think i have ever seen a photo of you. It is really hard for me brain to put your life together without a photo.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    I had kinda had this problem when I first left home and moved to London, so I was around 20 I guess. I was young, niaive, pretty, insecure...and lonely.

    I had been in a very intense relationship with a guy that my Parents hated when I was still only a teenager. It all broke up into a real mess, with me having a huge row with my Dad over him - and walking out to go and live with my guy. That's NOT what he wanted at all, and it all fell apart soon afterwards. I felt awful for ages...and also totally unattractive to men. When I moved to London, I think I was looking to find that initial excitement again, and also find a guy that my Parents would approve of - so - I would jump into bed with anything in pants and I was always way too friendly towards guys who showed me more than a polite passing interest. It was my own fault - and it was my own insecurity and desperation that made me do it. It was only these experiences and eventually wising up to my own emotional state, that got me out of a cycle of bad hook-ups and idiot boyfriends. So then I spent some time on my own, kept my distance from guys - and along came my husband.

    Hun...you and I think the same way and I love you to pieces, so I know I can say what I'm gonna say, without you taking it the wrong way.

    Are you sending out the right signals?

    I mean...are you like me, generally a very friendly kind of girl who speaks nicely to most folks, rather than someone who keeps themselves a little aloof and distant? Guys can generally tell if you're a hard bitch, an educated gal, a wise owl - or a softie. And of course.....you dress like a Nun don't you? Absolutely NO miniskirts or heels at the supermarket or when you're putting out the trash..?? That was a mistake I made a lot.

    Oh, you know I'm only joking but I'm kind of serious too. Honestly - there's got to be a reason why you're getting hit on by life's losers - and MAYBE it's 'cos they think you're too easily approachable or available - or that you look like a 'go-er'. I know that you set yourself some pretty good standards in men, but how are you inside? Really? Somehow babe, you're sending signals to guys that you don't want to attract. Obviously a lot of men are hopleless on body language, and then there's the chancers and dumbasses who will just hit on you whatever, but plenty of guys can spot signals and they will pick up on them as well.

    I think that the starting point is maybe to at least try to make yourself come across as a little less available. Men like a little bit of mystery, and the GOOD ones are the ones who will work hard to find out more. The losers WILL lose interest 'cos they just can't be bothered to work at it. That way you can do the choosing whilst you're looking for 'Mr. Right' to arrive in your life.

    What you say about the 'singles nights' - you said that that the good guys overlook you, and you end up with the goonies..?? And then you say "why?" because you've "got the looks"?

    Well....it's possible that the good guys have this thing in their heads that a young good looking girl is going to be unreliable, and they are looking for the homely type. Wheras the goonies think Christmas has come early perhaps? Actually, even if they are lookers themselves, a lot of guys are very shy around great looking girls. IDK - but I think you're possibly trying TOO hard, and not allowing yourself enough time to develop what YOU are all about.

    Try this.........rather than spend all your spare time 'dating' or 'searching' - try to spend your time on other things that YOU want to do. Maybe hobbies and interests, join some clubs, take some time to travel around places you've not been to maybe? You'll expand your horizons and you might just bump into 'him' in a totally different situation. Oh....and PLEEEEAZE - DON'T let your age be a worry. If a guy's bothered about your age - he's not worth it. If you try too hard, you'll always make mistakes.

    You're a lovely, lovely girl with strong moral values - so try to do the 'looking' in areas where you'll find a guy who has the same outlook as you. Dating sites...well you've got to expect the nerds and pervs, so maybe try a Christian site or something. Make your values WORK for you, rather than them being a hinderance.

    Honestly....you're too sweet a girl to get missed out on by the right man...

    Does any of this make sense?
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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    Quote Originally Posted by shasta View Post
    Ya know, Kelly, I don't think i have ever seen a photo of you. It is really hard for me brain to put your life together without a photo.
    I don't think I've ever posted a photo. Perhaps I should.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    If you do decide to post a photo, it would be helpful for this tread if you posted your photo in a typical outfit u would wear around town when these guys are hitting on you. I am not so good with style, but im sure people here would have great advice to attract those that you do want.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    Quote Originally Posted by pussyinboots View Post
    I had kinda had this problem when I first left home and moved to London, so I was around 20 I guess. I was young, niaive, pretty, insecure...and lonely.

    I had been in a very intense relationship with a guy that my Parents hated when I was still only a teenager. It all broke up into a real mess, with me having a huge row with my Dad over him - and walking out to go and live with my guy. That's NOT what he wanted at all, and it all fell apart soon afterwards. I felt awful for ages...and also totally unattractive to men. When I moved to London, I think I was looking to find that initial excitement again, and also find a guy that my Parents would approve of - so - I would jump into bed with anything in pants and I was always way too friendly towards guys who showed me more than a polite passing interest. It was my own fault - and it was my own insecurity and desperation that made me do it. It was only these experiences and eventually wising up to my own emotional state, that got me out of a cycle of bad hook-ups and idiot boyfriends. So then I spent some time on my own, kept my distance from guys - and along came my husband.

    Hun...you and I think the same way and I love you to pieces, so I know I can say what I'm gonna say, without you taking it the wrong way.

    Are you sending out the right signals?

    I mean...are you like me, generally a very friendly kind of girl who speaks nicely to most folks, rather than someone who keeps themselves a little aloof and distant? Guys can generally tell if you're a hard bitch, an educated gal, a wise owl - or a softie. And of course.....you dress like a Nun don't you? Absolutely NO miniskirts or heels at the supermarket or when you're putting out the trash..?? That was a mistake I made a lot.

    Oh, you know I'm only joking but I'm kind of serious too. Honestly - there's got to be a reason why you're getting hit on by life's losers - and MAYBE it's 'cos they think you're too easily approachable or available - or that you look like a 'go-er'. I know that you set yourself some pretty good standards in men, but how are you inside? Really? Somehow babe, you're sending signals to guys that you don't want to attract. Obviously a lot of men are hopleless on body language, and then there's the chancers and dumbasses who will just hit on you whatever, but plenty of guys can spot signals and they will pick up on them as well.

    I think that the starting point is maybe to at least try to make yourself come across as a little less available. Men like a little bit of mystery, and the GOOD ones are the ones who will work hard to find out more. The losers WILL lose interest 'cos they just can't be bothered to work at it. That way you can do the choosing whilst you're looking for 'Mr. Right' to arrive in your life.

    What you say about the 'singles nights' - you said that that the good guys overlook you, and you end up with the goonies..?? And then you say "why?" because you've "got the looks"?

    Well....it's possible that the good guys have this thing in their heads that a young good looking girl is going to be unreliable, and they are looking for the homely type. Wheras the goonies think Christmas has come early perhaps? Actually, even if they are lookers themselves, a lot of guys are very shy around great looking girls. IDK - but I think you're possibly trying TOO hard, and not allowing yourself enough time to develop what YOU are all about.

    Try this.........rather than spend all your spare time 'dating' or 'searching' - try to spend your time on other things that YOU want to do. Maybe hobbies and interests, join some clubs, take some time to travel around places you've not been to maybe? You'll expand your horizons and you might just bump into 'him' in a totally different situation. Oh....and PLEEEEAZE - DON'T let your age be a worry. If a guy's bothered about your age - he's not worth it. If you try too hard, you'll always make mistakes.

    You're a lovely, lovely girl with strong moral values - so try to do the 'looking' in areas where you'll find a guy who has the same outlook as you. Dating sites...well you've got to expect the nerds and pervs, so maybe try a Christian site or something. Make your values WORK for you, rather than them being a hinderance.

    Honestly....you're too sweet a girl to get missed out on by the right man...

    Does any of this make sense?
    All of what you say makes perfect sense and it's possible. I've always been someone nice to everyone and I've had people think I liked a certain guy because I smiled at him, which I do a lot. In high school I got asked out a lot by the special ed kids because I was nice to them, unlike most of the other "normal" kids. I like a certain type of guy (intellectual nerds) so I'm not really attracted to traditionally handsome men. In fact guys I've liked I found out usually liked me but were afraid I wouldn't be interested. I don't dress up to go to the store, but in this area there aren't many single people anyway (I live in a community of seniors). Once I get back on my feet I'm moving closer to the city so this should help.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    This is just my 2 cents but... At some point, you have to take some self responsibility and go after what you want. If you see a guy that you're interested in, you should maybe try striking up a conversation with him and flirting. So if you don't want old/perverted/overweight men to keep asking YOU out, then maybe you should try being proactive-- and ask out the men that YOU find desirable instead.

    Also, you may be TOO nice to these other men and they're just reading you entirely wrong. I know my sister ALWAYS gets hit on in public and she always says to me: "Ewww! That guy just asked for my phone number! ... I was just trying to be nice!" I just roll my eyes and tell her (for the 50th time), that if you talk nicely with a guy who approaches you, then he'll think you're interested, even when you're not.

    Also, I think you might be trying a little too hard... I like to believe that whatever will be, will be. And by you trying to force a relationship with a man to happen, just so you can be married and have children by a certain age, seems a little desperate. You can't make love happen and you can't make it come into your life, you just have to wait for it AND be ready for it whenever it does come. So you should really just focus your energies and hard work into getting a job and living a happier and more fulfilled life, so when you eventually meet the right person, you're in a positive enough position to enter a relationship.

    Also, I think that you have to be strong enough of a person ALONE before you can be part of a couple. And it seems like you believe that once you find a man then your life will be infinitely better. And although that may be the case... it really shouldn't be. You should be content with yourself and your life without a man. You should try finding some balance in your life by getting a full-time job, getting back in shape and being happy with your body, making new friends and becoming more social, and maybe getting a hobby or something.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    I really wasn't looking for anything serious when many of these guys hit on me. I will admit that I'm in a little bit of a rush because I am going to be 40 and if I have kids I need to do it in the next few years (I am opposed to single motherhood). I also can't wait because all the single men are being snatched up and I'll have to take what I can. All of this does play into it. I have asked guys out in the past but haven't met any recently I'd want to date.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I don't think I've ever posted a photo. Perhaps I should.
    Yes, I want to see your pic, too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I really wasn't looking for anything serious when many of these guys hit on me. I will admit that I'm in a little bit of a rush because I am going to be 40 and if I have kids I need to do it in the next few years (I am opposed to single motherhood). I also can't wait because all the single men are being snatched up and I'll have to take what I can. All of this does play into it. I have asked guys out in the past but haven't met any recently I'd want to date.
    What do you do to meet people? Are you involved in anything that helps you meet interesting people (sports, recreational activities, gym, civic organizations, church singles group, etc.)?
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    One day I will post my photo, I promise.

    Btw I wanted to make it known these weren't all recent incidents. This has been a problem since I was a teen. I've had random guys approach me. I've found out that many guys did want me who claimed they didn't (said they were afraid I'd reject them). Many times it was when I wasn't looking for a relationship at all.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    Girl, you have to approach the guys you want.

    Attractive, successful women have this problem. You probably intimidate a lot of guys, or maybe even don't put yourself in situations conducive to starting real relationships. From what I know about you from your posts, you seem like you're quite a catch. Which means the onus is on you to find the one you want.

    And remember, 'good guys' and 'solid relationships' generally won't be found inside bars. Start volunteering, working somewhere 'normal,' walking your dog, striking conversations up at the grocery store / bookstore / etc, and you will find something worth your time and energy.

    One of my guyfriends was having this problem. He's an extraordinarily intelligent engineer working at a very prominent company, very good looking, no children, no baggage, no drugs, etc. He was just sooo confused as to why he couldn't find a good relationship. It was pretty obvious to me. He's a workaholic, and in his free time, he works as a bouncer at a strip club. He has a 3rd job at a different bar as a bartender. I was like, "How can you possibly expect to find a quality relationship when you don't put any time or effort into it??"

    I'm not saying that this is your problem. But maybe you should try asking a few people (friends? family? exes?) about what they think--why you are having problems coming across potential partners. If you ask these people to be insanely, offensively honest, then you could get some really helpful responses!

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    No not creepy. I will post my photo eventually. I have been a little nervous doing that since I'm not big on posting photos anyway (I like my privacy) but yeah this is something I'll do. I'.m not the hottest person but not the prettiest either. Then again what one thinks is hot another doesn't.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    I meet people in various ways. I've met a few while working out for example and am meeting people at church. I know there's a singles group at one of the local churches so this is something I'm going to try. I have to go out a little from where I live currently unless I want to date 80 year old single men, lol. I've met many guys at bars but nothing ever serious at all (I rarely go to bars anyway). There were lots of guys at my former employer but most weren't my type (many were alcoholics).

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    It seems like there might be a chronic problem that you aren't aware of. I'm not trying to be offensive, by any means: we all have problems. But your friends or those close to you may be able to see something that you can't see. Something that's getting in the way of you attracting the right people.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    I'm watching "Broken English"--about a woman who can't figure out why she's attracting all of the wrong men. And the second this chick leaves the room after talking about this problem, her friends start talking about exactly what her problem is.

    It could be really helpful for you to ask the people close to you about this. Lots of people are too afraid they'll sound mean and unsupportive if they tell you these things, so they never open their mouths.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    I've asked them and they think it's because I don't go to the right places. For instance I stay very local and this area is older people. Once I get money I plan to move closer to the city. I've never had problems attracting men, just not ones I want. I asked someone about my online fiasco and they said they think it's because I posted some modeling photos instead of regular photos. I like nerdy guys and some of them are a little bit on the shy side. Also, as strange as this sounds I'm very shy in public. Very odd considering having been a stripper and nude model but yes I get timid around men.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    ^Ah, okay. Cool.

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    It's just very confusing because I thought I was fine never being married or having kids. Until 35 I was staunchy against both. I used to tell my relatives I'd do either when "Hell freeezes over". Then it went from "no way" to "possibly". Then when the one I want came back into the picture both of these went into overdrive. Now I am obsessed with getting married and have a kid or two. Now of course is when I can't find anyone else because I still want the Flaky but time is ticking. I know there are still never married guys at my age and even older who want to marry and have kids but harder to find. Flaky admits he wants this but if he never comes back then I wasted months when I could have been looking. In fact if I had started looking when he did his first disappearing act in February I might have a serious boyfriend now. I might even be engaged. I just wish I had started looking years ago because I was warned by many people this would probably happen.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    Kelly I think weve all been hit on by these same kinds of guys. Its just a part of the job or that were attractive sexy women who are desirable. In my case the right one did come along finally and that was even after I was married for 3 months to who I thought was my perfect guy!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I don't know whether to laugh or cry but I've been hit on by the dregs of society. People question why I'm waiting for the one I want but it's because sometimes I feel he's the last never married no kid guy out there, though I know he's not. Here's just a sampling of some of the "winners" who've hit on me.

    1) My one neighbor I'll call Bubba keeps asking me out. What's wrong you ask? Let's see, he drives a truck with a Confederate flag and has a hanging of Obama being lynched. If that wasn't bad he has long greasy hair, almost black teeth and creepy all around. He's also on probation for selling drinks at his house to minors. Real winner. I'm pretty sure he's a country song waiting to happen (no offense to country lovers).

    2) A guy I'll call baby daddy. I used to get asked out all the time by this guy who had four kids by four different women, and of course he didn't marry any of them. He was pleased with this.

    3) Perverts in general. I've been asked so many times just walking and it's creepy. I wasn't in known hooker areas, nor was I dressed sleazy. I suppose it's possible a few may have seen my modeling or dancing but this was never referenced. I was once asked for a quickie in front of the Sears Tower, a place NOT known for that (it's called Willis Tower but I refuse to call it that).

    Then there are the decent men who aren't for me:

    Obese men. I have no problem dating a chubby guy, though I prefer skinny nerdy types. However I get approached often by 300+ pound men. When I turn them down they get upset like how dare I. I have to mention none of these guys were nice to me either when I told them no thank you. If they had been nice I may have considered.

    Dads. I know there are some great dads but this is the one rule I can never bend. I've stated why repeatedly why I don't date them. Yet it never fails, these are the guys who hit on me. I turn them down or say we can be friends but not good enough.

    When I did online dating guess who responded? Yep, perverts, obese and dads. Same thing at singles groups. There can be 10 decent looking childless guys and they'll bypass me but the guys I want are never interested. I don't get this either. I am attractive, look younger, etc yet it seems the guys I want never want me. This seems to be something I've noticed with my other attractive friends, especially the dancers and models.

    Btw, I mean no offense to either dads or obese. These are just dating preferences and in the case of dads, unbendable. I might consider an obese man if he was working on losing weight.

    Does anyone else have this problem?It frustrates me because I feel like I'll either be alone or have to settle if the one I want never comes around.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    It's just very confusing because I thought I was fine never being married or having kids. Until 35 I was staunchy against both. I used to tell my relatives I'd do either when "Hell freeezes over". Then it went from "no way" to "possibly". Then when the one I want came back into the picture both of these went into overdrive. Now I am obsessed with getting married and have a kid or two. Now of course is when I can't find anyone else because I still want the Flaky but time is ticking. I know there are still never married guys at my age and even older who want to marry and have kids but harder to find. Flaky admits he wants this but if he never comes back then I wasted months when I could have been looking. In fact if I had started looking when he did his first disappearing act in February I might have a serious boyfriend now. I might even be engaged. I just wish I had started looking years ago because I was warned by many people this would probably happen.
    Beating yourself up about this, and anything else that's gone wrong in the past, isn't really helpful Sweetie. It'll only make you regretful and think you're no good. You're NOT no good.....it's obvious from the way you post and the views you put across. I bet the photo - when it does go up - is gonna blow us all away.

    Go back to my post and then look through all the subsequent posts again - we are all saying the same things....

    Basically - give YOURSELF more time to discover who you are - and who you really want as a soulmate. Rather than put up with the best of a bad bunch - set your own standards and be pro-active in finding different ways of meeting someone who will match up to them. If you like nerdy, shy guys...you sure as heck ain't gonna find 'em clubbing! You're much more likely to find the man of your dreams, looking at the same bookshelf as you in the local Library. Seriously!

    That's why getting into hobbies, clubs and societies, art and crafts, Church work or community stuff...walking the cat...hell, even holidays - you know, 'non stripper' things - are more likely to get you into the right environment to meet your kind of guy.

    Whatever - we're all just trying to help here...and we love ya - face or no face!
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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLynne View Post
    Kelly I think weve all been hit on by these same kinds of guys. Its just a part of the job or that were attractive sexy women who are desirable. In my case the right one did come along finally and that was even after I was married for 3 months to who I thought was my perfect guy!
    So you married who you thought was the perfect guy then another guy came around? That must have been interesting. Was it someone you wanted from before?
    Last edited by Kellydancer; 11-29-2010 at 03:53 PM.

  23. #22
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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I like nerdy guys and some of them are a little bit on the shy side. Also, as strange as this sounds I'm very shy in public. Very odd considering having been a stripper and nude model but yes I get timid around men.
    I mentioned this before - go to lectures, science museums, conventions/trade shows for geeks, etc. Take some college courses at the local community college. Develop a passion for some geeky topic (like computers, space or robotics, etc.) and attend all the lectures around town and the city. If the math/engineering side of a geeky subject is too complex to grasp, try to grasp the moral/philosophical issues - like the ethics and philosophical issues regarding replacing humans with robots in military and commercial enterprises. Philosophy lets you talk about anything and sound intelligent, even when you know nothing about the subject - all you have to do is start a debate and then lean back let the others argue the technicalities.

    You can also apply the "Socratic Method" in conversation - you ask critical questions that sound very smart and insightful, but place all the intellectual burden on the responding person, like, "But, what does that really mean?" "Why do you assume that's true?" "Why do you think that will be beneficial to society in the long run?" "What effect will that have on our culture and our values?" "What are the social costs of adopting that new way of life and what will we sacrifice?" "How can you prove the existence of x?" "How can you prove that x causes Y, and not the other way around?" "How do you know there is not a third agent that actually causes both x and y?"

    Talk to everyone you meet at these events, including women and guys you have no interest in dating. If you befriend these people, they will introduce you to other geeky people (its a small geeky world), and eventually you should have some geeky prospects.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    No I married my boyfriend from college. But it didnt work out. Its been over 3 years now.

    The guy Im with now is who I want to be with for the considerable future and we manage a long distance relationship with him splitting time between Serbia and West Palm Beach and I live with my 2 year old daughter and mom near Las Vegas.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    So you married who you thought was the perfect guy then another guy came around? That must have been interesting. Was it someone you wanted from before?

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    Thanks everyone. I think there are a few things I'm going try doing and thanks for all the suggestions. I wasn't looking for someone when Flakey re appeared but now I want someone. First though I want to fix a few things with myself. I want to recover from my hurt in the event this time he doesn't re appear. I'm sending him a Christmas card and if he doesn't respond I'll consider it over.

    I'm working on fixing a few things in the meantime. I want to get back on track with regards to working out. I've gotten lazy about this and need to work out again before the pounds pile on. I'm also working on fixing my job situation (this is why I wasn't really looking for anyone once he appeared). I was just told about a singles party not too far from my house so I'm going to call them tomorrow. If nothing else I might meet people. I'm a regular at the library already and have asked the librarians who I know if they know single guys. None of them do.

    I just wish I hadn't fallen as hard for him as I did. I was so sure he was the one and when he gave me signs stating otherwise I looked the other way. Then when he came back and said he was ready I should have guarded my heart again. With writing the card if he responds then who knows (I'm writing him to tell him I hope we get together soon). If he doesn't then he's not coming back this time.

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    Default Re: Why do the wrong men hit on me?

    I think you need to work on you. If u rnt happy with ur appearance thats just to come through when meeting anyone new. You are extremely smart, so everything Im saying u prolly already know. U have been beaten down by men and other stresses in life but u r a wonderful person from all that Ive gathered here. I think if u can lift ur self esteem some it will really help u out. Even though in life we make mistakes fall down, get down on ourselves etc. We have to try to get ourselves back up and believe we deserve the best. It blows sometimes, but Im demanding as hell on my bf and thats just the way it goes. Hes a good person, but he def, def isnt a dream..But hey neither am I..

    I weighed a little over 150 2 years ago this month. I weigh just under 130 right now. It was difficult losing the weight..I wasnt able to find anyone somewhat worthwhile until I lost enough weight to feel comfortable. ( But now I want to lose another 6 or 7 pounds... ) I felt stronger and better about myself after the loss. It did take me about a year though bc I took my time . Ive found that I have had to try to mentally envision myself achieving certain realistic attainable goals. Then some things have slowly fell into place for me. Unfortunately that doesnt always work for money..wish I could envision that but I did say realistic attainable things.

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