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Thread: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

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    Default the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

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    Last edited by livingdeadgirl; 04-04-2011 at 08:04 PM.

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    God/dess Arialandre's Avatar
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    Default Re: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

    The same way you handle everyone else, in the end they're just people. I say take then as a one on one personality thing, I'm not a fan of just lumping people into groups an dhoping standard procedure works.

    Also I love your name, kick ass song, must go listen now...

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    Default Re: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

    I am a doormat for the most part in real life, in the club, i dont take it, i am super nice to the girls, and dont take any shit from the custys, the wierdos are either there to be rinsed of all their cash or walked away from! Just keep to urself and smile.
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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

    You have to have a very strong sense of what your boundaries are, first of all.

    And then you have to actively police them.

    Act like whatever the guys do is sexy, and genuinely try to see the appeal from their perspective. Remember that their goal is usually to get the most out of their money, so expect that they're going to try to convince you to do more than you're comfortable with.

    Something like guys licking their lips at me = harmless, so I'll comment on how sexy it is, etc.

    Someone trying to stick a finger up my asshole = NOT OKAY.

    You will notice that your boundaries will probably adjust a bit as you get more comfortable with the job (i.e. you will be making more eye contact, perhaps dancing closer to the customers), but don't let them slide too much. Stick to your guns. It helps a lot if you don't live day-to-day since this will give you the power of choice: you'll be able to kick out customers who disrespect you and whatnot.

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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

    I second what Charlie said about boundaries changing as you learn about the job. For me, it was the opposite. At first I was afraid to stand up for myself and tell a guy to not do something that was too far/bothering me. Probably from many years working in retail and thinking the customer is always right!

    After a few weeks, I realized I could make good money without dancing for creeps that would try to push me further than I wanted to go. Once I realized this, and learned how to tell guys sweetly but firmly that something was not allowed ("Oh don't get me in trouble with the bouncers! Teehee!"), I felt much better about the job and did better too.
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    Default Re: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

    Thats a lotta questions! One at a time...

    Touchy guys: This depends on your club. When a guy trys to break the rules (touching me, etc) I sweetly tell him to stop (usually blaming it on "the rules", "the management" etc). If he trys it again, I still talk sweetly, but generally am a little firmer, and say "I told you, if you do that again, I'll have to stop, and I don't want to stop! I'm having fun!". If they try a third time. I stop. I will walk out of a dance (I get my money up front. Always)

    Douchbag management: If the management is really bad, I'll leave the club! But if you are just wanting to stay on their good side without getting involved in doing lines off their dick...treat it like any other awkward boss! Stay polite, and friendly. If you think something has happened that is out of order, mention it (without flying off the handle) and gauge the result. If they are totally unreasonable and it starts happening a lot, leave. If they are reasonable, it should get sorted out. The best way to keep a good relationship with management is simple. Show up early, show up often, show up sober. Do your job, do it well, earn them money. Stay out of drama, play by the rules, and be polite.

    Finally - other girls!! - This is pretty much the same as management, actually. Keep remembering that you are there to make money, not friends. So bring your own gear, play by the rules, and don't be arrogant or aggressive. If you keep quiet and do your job, you will probably piss off less people than you would by being over friendly and getting drunk with them every night. Don't approach a custy at the tip rail for a lap dance when there is a girl on stage. Don't cut in on another girls conversation. Don't go in with the attitude that you are the best. And just don't get involved in drama or arguments. If you are asked for your opinion, say you didn't hear/see anything. Oh - and compliment everyone on their outfits! Not over the top, but an occasional - "cute shoes" can go far!
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    Default Re: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

    ^^^ In this day in age even nice quiet girls get ragged on by other dancers.

    OP, your best bet is try to stay friendly with other dancers, but inform management when things occur. This isn't to get them in trouble, but if the problem escalates management needs to know what occurred before. Also, sometimes you won't be the only one reporting issues - & that can make decision making easier for the manager if they do need to talk to another dancer about attitude problems etc.
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    Default Re: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

    For the gross custies, would say to not let ANYONE cross your boundaries. If someone tries to touch me, (usually they will slide their hand towards the naughty places) I just grab their hands and keep them where I want them to be.

    Managers are not the boss of you (at least where I dance), and they can't make you do anything you don't want to e.g. they can't tell you that if you want to work there you have to suck his dick, and if he does, tell another manager about it, and if he/she won't help you, then go somewhere else.

    I also am not used to being around women myself so the whole dressing room experience was a culture shock to me. What I do is just keep to myself, smile at people when they look my way, answer peoples' questions, accept their compliments, etc. and I have never gotten into any drama at work, so that strategy seems to do pretty well. At one of the clubs where I work, they call me the quiet girl haha.. If you're trying to avoid getting involved in other dancers' already-in-progress drama, and they are wanting you to take sides or something, just say politely that you don't know the whole story/don't really know the other parties involved, so you can't really give her advice on the situation (usually when people will not bluntly ask you to take sides, they just tell you an exaggerated story with a histrionic tone, state their opinion on the matter, and then go, "RIGHT???"). Or just say you have to get back to work!

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    Default Re: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

    In my experience, it seems that the newbies tend to get the truly weird customers. I got more bizarre guys in my first two weeks of dancing than I did in the rest of the 2 1/2 years I was at that club. I don't know if it's because those guys actively seek out the newbies, or if it's because you subconsciously pick up on the weirdo-signals after you've gained some experience.

    I also agree with Charlie, in that boundaries are incredibly important. I'm very proud of myself in that I set my boundaries on my very first night dancing, and I haven't crossed them to this day. It's very easy to get taken advantage of in this industry; if you enter it and you're too determined to be nice and make friends and be popular, you'll likely crash and burn. Don't get me wrong--this is a sales job first and foremost, and I think a lot of girls tend to forget that they are there for the customer. It's important to make a customer feel liked and appreciated, but it's just as important to set your boundaries and enforce them. At my old club, out of all the dancers, I was the most polite to the customer. I was also one of the cleanest. A lot of the other girls tended to be pretty rude, and they did extras. You just need to keep your integrity intact.

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    Default Re: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    In my experience, it seems that the newbies tend to get the truly weird customers. I got more bizarre guys in my first two weeks of dancing than I did in the rest of the 2 1/2 years I was at that club. I don't know if it's because those guys actively seek out the newbies, or if it's because you subconsciously pick up on the weirdo-signals after you've gained some experience.

    I really think they actively seek out new girls..

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    Default Re: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

    Quote Originally Posted by livingdeadgirl View Post
    I really think they actively seek out new girls..
    I second this. I was at a different club and one of their regular more odd patrons came up to me almost immediately upon entering the club assuming i was a newbie, talked all kinds of wierdness at me and when i told him id been dancing for a while, tutted and walked off.
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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: the weirdos, the bitches & the a**holes

    Yeah I do think weirdos target new girls. I remember the first guy I ever did a lapdance for was soooo annoying and peculiar, I thought I wasn't cut out for the job. But you'll get better at spotting, avoiding, and talking to weirdos. In the first few weeks I put up with stuff I'd just walk away from now.
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