Just curious, since dancers are around mainly drunk guys who try to get them to do "extras" every single night...does it change your opinion on guys?
Just curious, since dancers are around mainly drunk guys who try to get them to do "extras" every single night...does it change your opinion on guys?




Absolutely. I dont trust them, and Ive lost alot of respect for many of them. As most of them do not respect me, the feeling is mutual for many. So many come in and make fools of themselves that oftentimes I end up laughing at them. Hey, if they want to come in and berate women they are going to get the same treatment back.
As for the few customers that come in who are decent guys, u r the minority and u r the ones that make my job worthwhile bc you are able to still see me as a person and appreciate that what I do is a job and that underneath it all I may just be a good person with a big heart. It is when a customer has the ability to "separate" my job from who I may actually be that I actually take an interest in the customer as a person.





Yes, my view of men is very jaded. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt but unfortunately many men come in and leave their morals and respect at the doorstep. We see the worst side of men in this business. Don't get me wrong, there are a small, eensy, tiny, population of decent men that come in but they are few and far between. My view extends outside the club as well :/ When I go to a grocery store or just running errands I feel like any men I see are leering at me or judging me, although they don't even know me. If a strange man tries to make conversation with me while I'm out and about, I get creeped out and just don't trust them. Oy..





I will admit I have a very jaded view of men and it's gotten worse through the years. Between the guys wanting just sex and the con artist who I dealt with years ago (I met him at a club) I have a jaded view of most men. Not to mention the one time I fell madly in love with a customer at this point he's going through issues. I've known many dancers who stopped dating men because of the customers.


Sadly I have to agree with you ladies. I've definitely become jaded. I still try and keep and open mind outside of the club. After all, men are just people too.
I can fully understand how you can come to decisions like this and how your whole perspective can change because of it. It certainly is true that many customers are drunk jerks, desperate and often have no shame. None the less, I still find it disheartening that all men get generalized because of these experiences. Don't get me wrong, I understand it and can clearly see why, but truthfully we are certainly not all the same with very different motives for being there and very different perceptions of women.
I personally find many of the dancers I've encountered to be truly fascinating people with radically different backgrounds, ambitions, philosophical perspectives and from all walks of life. This diversity of women is really quite an experience in and of itself. I was also raised conservatively with a very old school set of manners and conduct. In college I heard girls repeatedly say things to the effect of "guys are jerks," "there all out for one thing and one thing only," "Fuck them, I'm going lesbo" and I understand the frustration but we not all that bad and that disingenuous.
Sorry, this post is proving far longer than I planed, but to get to my point. Just because there are a lot of assholes out there, doesn't mean there still aren't a lot of well meaning guys around. I tend to believe the jerks are just louder and in your face than other types. If, at all possible try not to lose faith in us completely.





You are very right... I do try to give people a chance before I judge. However, I work within the same area I live and grew up in so I am always afraid that maybe most men I encounter have seen me at work. I'm usually with my daughter minding my own business and I will get approached or stared at and I assume the worst :/ I try to be polite but I also don't want to give anyone the wrong ideas.
I'm in the minority. I really like people, and I like men even more! There are idiots in any group of people and guys often turn into knobs when they are in a group, or drunk so i don't really judge them in a club situation, it's not a real environment.
I don't expect guys in the club to behave the way they would in a normal environment, thats the whole idea of a strip club for men is, to have fun, drool over women, be a tool, drool over women, behave like a caveman, drool over women, not worry about angry boyfriends, drool over women,ask personal and dirty questions and drool over women. I'm always asked how come I'm always smiling, it's because I'm wetting myself laughing at all the dickheads in the club and their stupid drunken antics and really dumbass comments. The place is hilarious, a warped circus, I love it!!!
The absolutely fantastic thing about this job is the fact that If i don't feel like listening to shit that comes out of peoples mouths and can simply walk away any time I want even mid sentence, and i do.
The ladies on here have said it a thousand times that it is a fantasy world, and have also admitted to putting on a persona. It's the same for the guys who come in too.





Hell, my view of men is jaded--or at least the men who come in the clubs I have worked. Within a few weeks of starting in my first club I noticed how guys seem to lose restrain the minute they walk in the door. 'Normal' guys will often become jerks. The jerks become flaming assholes. The flaming assholes get even worse.
Sometimes I feel like they are an entirely different species, no kidding.
Like last night, for instance. Not only were there a bunch of cheap assholes not tipping, but sitting there like sea slugs enjoying the free show, some of them for a few hours at a stretch. This is common during holiday season and during a recession, especially. But I cannot comprehend the thinking, it is totally foreign (and repugnant) to me.
But then this fucking guy grabbed a dancer's ass right next to the DJ booth. When I asked her what he had done (I didn't see it, but saw she was upset), she told me, and he said 'Hey, it's a stripclub! I just wanted a dance from her.' Ordinarily I am pretty aggressive in defense of the dancers, but the guy was genuinely apologetic, I was in no mood for violent expulsion, and the dancer just wanted him away from her, not out of the club. I told him 'Never do it again.' and let him go.
Still, though--what possesses these guys? Shit like this happens all the time. It's a stripclub, so they get to grab any ass they see??? Every night there are numerous incidents like this--each one clearly demonstrating a blatant lack of respect. If the women even bother to come and complain, so often they just let it go as it is so frequent. And we are a 'clean' club!
And that's not even getting into the more subtle insulting or dehumanizing behavior, the ridiculous conversational ploys used, etc., etc.
I actually think it is necessary for survival, to become at least somewhat jaded. If the dancers let every guy that acted like an asshole get to them, there wouldn't be any dancers left, not for long.
But I have also become jaded about the dancers, to some extent. So very many of them want you to break the fucking rules for them, every night, night after night. You can explain until you are blue in the face that the managers and/or owners are watching. They don't give a flying fuck if you can get in trouble or even fired if caught complying with their innumerable requests.
Of course there are the good and the bad in all categories--including male staff, I have horror stories about them as well.
I think the business is 'empathy destructive', in general. Men and women both tend to lose the ability to put themselves in the others' shoes, and think about what they might be going through, and how it might be a pain in the fucking ass to deal with.
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________




No, men are not at their best in the SC....They piss me off with their bullshit but... I work in Vegas, the whole city's economy is based on people being out of character. Spending what they don't have, drinking what they don't drink, just being someone else. I take it with a grain of salt.





Not really . I still like some men. I noticed mens terrible behavior long before dancing.





I got really jaded there for a little while - a lot of the men really act horribly in the SC..the worst point was when I realized that a lot of the time, if I met them out of the club, I would think that they were nice, decent human beings. It got me thinking that all men were just flaming assholes in disguise, and the SC gave them a chance to let it all out. I got bitter and aggressive.
Then, a little while ago, I started practicing gratitude in more areas of my life, and trying to focus on the good. I began to realize that sometimes, the men were just bouncing off of what I gave them - I was coming across as an aggressive bitch, and expected them to be assholes, so they never failed to disappoint! When I started doing my job with a little more kindness in my heart (and don't confuse that with being soft - I LOVE my money, I work my hustle, but I began to realize that if I honestly wanted them to be happy, they would be happy, and happy men spend more, and faster and easier!) I found that a lot of these guys were decent people, or that there was at least something interesting about them.
If nothing else, they are just being something different for the night. I'm sure that there have been points in my life where I was a drunk asshole myself, so who am I to judge?
As cute and fluffy as it sounds though - sometimes an asshole is just an asshole, and the job has made my standards so much higher!!
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If I let SC experiences influence me I'd be jaded towards men, women, and any interactions between the two.




Sadly I was jaded even before going to my first strip club. Men and women treat me the same in and outside the club. It was interesting how I became less jaded and learned how to keep my cool, know how to keep my cool with people, and how to talk with people from dancing. So I actually think it was positive becoming a dancer for me.




The person who mentioned that her standards of what she expects from guys has gone way up is my opinion too. Im realistic, though bc if Im w someone and they dont make alot of money for example I dont expect lots of nice expensive things bc frankly they cant afford them. I dont want to see the guy going in debt just to get me nice things. Ive had the nice things, the diamonds the shopping sprees and all that stuff is great but its the person Im with that matters the most. If Im w a guy who showers me w gifts but is a complete dickhead which I have had before Im utterly miserable. And it isnt worth it. On the other hand I dont expect the guy if he doesnt have much money to never do things for me either that isnt fair. I think u should take turns giving where and when U can and in a way that fits into ur income bracket.





Agreed. I think far too many dancers think because guys spend a lot of money on them in the clubs they deserve it in real life. I don't, I think everyone has to work for what they want. I also believe in a 50/50 situation. I'm always rolling my eyes when a woman makes a comment like "I deserve a man to take care of me". Um, no no one "deserves" any such thing. Is it nice to be taken care of? certainly but adults shouldn't have to expect to be taken care of except by themselves.
I'm glad my thread got some good feedback. I live in Vegas and haven't gone out to a strip club in close to 6 months ( maybe longer )...mainly because the tourists just get soooo out of control and I feel I am just surrounded by 99% douchebags.





Yeah it is absolutely worse in resort/party towns like Vegas, Key West, Daytona to some extent (though Daytona is just packed full of assholes already lol), etc.
They think they can get away with anything because they are on vacation. They think they can get staggering, blind, puking drunk because they are on vacation. Mix the two and you have trouble, a lot.
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________




real life experiences with men have jaded me.
clubs, not really. i've come to understand and write off the jerks faster. and i've come to appreciate the nice, generous ones a lot more. and i've been able to figure out which is which in real life, based on what i've seen in clubs, which would've taken me a lot longer. i've come to understand that either they'll adore you and treat you wonderfully, or they'll expect you to kiss their ass for a whole lot of nothing. so i've learned that if i do too much for a guy, he won't be worth it anyways. which would've taken me forever just living in the real world. it's so much more obvious in the stripclub.
it's not just the club, and it's not just men. it's anyone, anywhere, if they're inclined to misbehave. it's kohlberg's 6 stages of moral development in action. some people behave well because they're afraid of consequences. some behave well because they respect rules. some people behave well because they have their own inner compas that directs them to do so. (each of these describes 2 stages)
look at how women behave at wedding gown sales. or how black friday is, even stores that don't have big sales get torn apart by rampaging crowds. or kids getting trampled at teenybopper concerts. or woodstock 99. or for that matter, that girl who got gangraped at a school dance a year ago, and it took forever before anyone called for help.
people can be awful. strip clubs are just one venue for people to feel justified being at their worst.
-love everyone but keep them far from your soul-





I was thinking of something a friend (former dancer) said to me last night and it ties into this. I was mentioning how dancing made me jaded, and she thinks online dating made me even more jaded than dancing. Online dating has a lot of parallels with dancing, except with online dating you aren't being paid to date someone (though if a guy pays for a date this could be argued). Online dating has a lot of rejection just like dancing, but usually at the clubs there's someone else you can go talk to. Also, the rejection is personal, whereas with dancing you can chalk it up to preferences. Then of course with clubs you can be a different persona, but this is not the case with online dating. Lying in a club is fine because it's fantasy but online lying is not acceptable.
I don't really feel jaded.
I think I'm more jaded towards other dancers than male customers. I'd say that 90-95% of my customers were perfectly respectful, decent guys. I'm not going to hate all men because of the 5-10% of customers who were douchebags.
However, the majority of my coworkers were really depressing to be around. Very few of them cared about their physical appearance or hygiene. None of them ever put any effort into looking nice. They made all this money but were always broke and asking everyone there for a "loan." A bunch of them starting giving extras for like no money, and they seemed to think that giving HJs in the private dances was just par for the course as a stripper. A lot of them were REALLY dumb. They talked about how all they do all day long when they aren't working is just sit on their couch and watch TV. A bunch of them couldn't work without drinking to excess and making asses out of themselves. A good bunch of them did drugs at work, too. They would see me reading a book if it was dead and start asking how I could do something so boring, and why didn't I just go watch the movie instead of reading it. If I used any "big words" they would act like I was trying to be uppity and arrogant.
Not all of my co-workers were like that. One girl got her MA at a very good university while I was working. Another was putting herself through law school. But a lot of the girls were really just poor, dumb, white trash. To this day I couldn't tell you what they spend all their earnings on. They bought their clothes and stripperwear at Wal-Mart. They all lived in shitty apartments and were constantly behind on their rent. They didn't have bank accounts. They were all on welfare. Half of them didn't have cars and would take cabs to and from work--if they didn't get a customer to take them home. They weren't in college and had no ambition to go. I honestly have no clue what they did with their money. But that was most definitely my least favorite part of stripping.





I see what you are saying. I have been around a while, and seen people (men and women both) acting like assholes and bitches if they think they can get away with it, in a wide variety of environments, as you say. Nonetheless, what goes on in stripclubs is unique, even if it has parallels in other environments, and reflects innate tendencies in both sexes. This has been my observation after ten years working the clubs.
And what's worst, the men and women feeding on each other in these patterns means a constant escalation of the process. Customers acting predatory towards women, women acting predatory towards customers, male staff acting predatory towards women, women acting predatory towards male staff--all four processes working simultaneously and weaving a vicious pattern that encourages depersonalization and the destruction of empathy in all directions--but especially between men and women. I have never seen anything quite like it outside the stripclubs. It could be that the clubs I have worked in have been worse than the norm--but I doubt it.
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________




I have a twisted view not so much jaded, but there are very few men in the world I trust. Very few. I seem them either as an atm machine or as a hinderence to my goals in life. Most are very few braincells of just being the sperm we need to reproduce.





Haha that reminds me of the joke one of the dumbest fucking DJs I have ever seen told on the mike, the night of his audition in the club I was working. "What is a woman?...The useless flap of skin attached to a pussy!" Something like that.
Not that the joke is so outrageous or heinous, exactly, it's just the obverse of your joke, so what--but to tell it on the mike in front of all the women you are about to start working with??
Needless to say he didn't last long!
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________
No I dont. I judge people individually by how they act and talk to me, not by gender.
I will add however, that customers are more likely to have a jaded view of dancers.
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