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Thread: bad/stupid idea??

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    Senior Member jules477's Avatar
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    Default bad/stupid idea??

    so a guy i met in the champagne room at the strip club a while back...he was kinda hot/tall and we got along, and now we r texting. he is 28 im 19. i live in reno and he has a cabin in truckee...and hes rich. i am sick of school/work/friends/family. he wants me to drive down friday to drink and go to dinner. its a half hour drive...i just want to go and have some fun...who knows what will happen. is this a BAD idea?? like he might hurt me or something??? well he is 6'5....but who knows i could have this guy to take me out and spend money on me soon enough??? he even wants to take me skiing/snowboarding god i am such a love starved person huh and a risk taker?......ladies i would love your input thanks
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    Member blackbetty's Avatar
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    It does not sound like a good idea to me UNLESS you stick to your guns and just have dinner and get to know him as a person and not just a wallet. Shit, you ain't gotta like the bastard if he turns out to be lame; just be personable and make him feel good if your aim is to gain money/gifts/etc.

    Do not, I repeat, do NOT go to his house on Friday. If you go to his house one of the following may happen:

    1. You will have sex. (what man dosn't wanna bone a 'stripper'?) Even if he is genuine there is always the possibility that he might just fuck you then ditch you forever which leaves you A. Used like a fucking tampon and B. You didn't get much, if any, money or rewards.

    2. He will violate you. Some men are dangerous. He might really try to hurt you. Many rapists (i forget the statistic at the moment) actually PLAN rapes they will commit well in advance.

    3. You will have a good time in each other's company, and everyone will be safe and happy in the morning.

    Use your intuition, and be safe!!!

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    How do you know he's rich? Him saying so doesn't make it so.
    If you really want to do this, at least bring a friend with you. Otherwise, this just screams disaster. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but what do you really know about this guy besides what he's told you? Besides, a real man wouldn't make you drive to see HIM for your first date! The fact that he wants you to drive down there to meet him is a red flag, imho. Be careful sweetie.
    Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans

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    Senior Member jules477's Avatar
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    what if i do go to his house...drink...go to dinner..decide im having a good time....what if it sounds good to fuck?? i havent in like a month in a half after my sorta break up!!

    does all that outwiegh the possibility of him being a total psycho and hurting me??
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    Senior Member jules477's Avatar
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    i looked up his adress in truckee and its a huge nice cabin...and he spent lotta money on me at the club soooo.....and i wouldnt want him to get me to go out to truckee...i want my own car you know?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]jules

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    Bad Idea, being in his house drinkinh screams sex, espically from where you meet him, I doubt he has other stuff in mind other than that. Its better to meet fwbs or simiar in different places other than your work place.

    plus he'll prob stop wasting money on you when see u him OTC, espically even if its just for fun

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    Member blackbetty's Avatar
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    It's good that you know what you want. If you do decide to go to his house, let a loved one know where you are at, info about the guy (address, full name, how you know him) and be sure to let them know that you will follow up with them after your date to let them know that you are safe and have not been hurt.

    Also, once you're inside his house, ask cutely for a tour and take notice of the place and remember where things that could possibly save your life are-- the exit doors, the telephone, knife block, etc. are.
    "...No bullshit, she had one eye. She used to go to VIP with custies and be in there for HOURS... All with one eye!" -Veteran stripper: Shawna

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    what if i decide i want to have sex i mean u never kno right....i can be a very sexual person if the timing is right you kno??? and he never comes to strip club anymore anyways. i was just hoping he could spoil me outside the club....im just trying to move on from my past relationship with my loser lazy ex....truth is i am a lost little girl ugh
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]jules

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    Senior Member jules477's Avatar
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    you girlies are so smart and helpful/caring
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]jules

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    sounds like my situation a while back!
    i met this SUPER rich (way older than me) guy and he wanted to hang out, spend time with me, buy me things...you know. I didnt meet him in a club though.. So its a little different.
    ANYWAYS long story short! - We texted, went on a few dates, on the 3rd date I had sex with him..and guess what? I havent seen him since.

    It sounds like your attracted to him and what not..Just be careful how soon you fuck this guy...especially if you want more than just a fuck.
    IF you do end up going to the cabin BE CAREFUL. I liked BlackBettys Idea of taking note of exits/ things that could save you if things get out of hand.
    ...Just seems like it is a situation that could be very dangerous if things dont go right is all...

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    Go OUT for dinner with him if you want to, don't just go to his house. I wouldn't feel comfortable going to someone's house alone that I just met, especially under those circumstances and with an underlying expectation of sex. He may not be a psycho, but you never know, and even if he just gets aggressive, you'll be in an entirely new and unfamiliar environment and out of your comfort zone. If you like him and want to spend more time with him, I'm sure you'll have plenty of chances to go to his cabin once you get to know him better. For now, please just think of your safety, not of how much you want to get laid.

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    I think it's a little tacky that he thought you should/would go to his house ( I mean , even if it's a nice cabin , it's his house ) . He should have offered to drive close to you to take you out .
    I'd recommend to take it slow if you do this. I've dated one guy I've met in the club and it's been done by others, but I definitely don't recommend having it be your main place to meet men or anything! Mine was a super nice guy. If he wouldn't have had kids and wouldn't have lived in the boonies ( or been willing to move ), we would still be together probably. Take it slow. He sounds HOT .
    When I went out for the first time with my guy from the club, I kid you not, before I got in his vehicle , he showed me his drivers license ( this is in a public place ) and I texted his name + address + DL # to two close friends ! He had no problem with it and even told me later he thought it was a smart idea.

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    Take control of the situation & make him come to you. Sex isn't a bad thing just make it on your terms & turf.

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    Straight up TELL HIM "I don't feel comfortable going to your house. Let's just go to dinner and maybe go for a walk and end the evening at a bar."

    If the dude wants to meet up or even date you, he should be a gentleman and respect your nervousness. You should never go to anyone's house on the first, or even second date. Meet each other in public, interact in public, even if it's quiet public.

    If you drink, make sure it's no more than a couple drinks, and space them apart. You do NOT want to be in a situation where you can't make the 30 minute drive back home and are forced to stay with him.

    If he's really into you, and a real nice gentleman like you say, he'll respect this. Any man that starts off a series of OTC meetings with "back at my place" isn't looking to do anything respectful with you.

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    Quote Originally Posted by unbeleavable View Post
    Take control of the situation & make him come to you. Sex isn't a bad thing just make it on your terms & turf.
    I think this is pretty much the perfect advice considering what you've said.

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    People go a lot longer than a month without sex, & I agree that by him inviting you to his place this whole thing smells fishy. I am not a proponent of seeing customers OTC, as a matter of fact I posted a thread ranting abouy this. If this guy has money then you are taking a prime customer & giving him reason to no longer be a customer. Do you want sex, or do you want to have your bills paid? As a customer he could help you pay bills a lot faster. There are plenty of men to date without dating strangers from the club, which takes away from your income. If you want to date a rich man then hang out where they hang out & go to events where they are more likely to be - like philanthropy events. Unless you are planning to charge him for sex then his money doesn't really matter to you since dating him does not mean that he'll be sharing it with you. Geez, what is it with people thinking that dating rich people is always better?! Its not, they don't always share it, often they play mind games & dangle the money in front of you. That's not 100% of them, but many. If you want someone who is generous a philanthropist is a good option & they often enjoy smart, nice women who are also eye candy.
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    well when he was at the club he had a group of friends with him that seemed like really cool people. there was even a chick that told me what a cool guy he was...so it wasnt like he was all by himself. ugh well i think im driving down tommorow at three....i'll let you guys know how it goes :/
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]jules

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    I so hope you told a friend the address and maybe a find chip on you.. The nicest men are sometimes the ones with alot of skeletons in the closet.

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    Senior Member jules477's Avatar
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    a chip??? yea i'll be telling a friend his address
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]jules

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    A few summers ago my boyfriend, at the time almost, almost roomed with a mutual "friend" who ran in our same circle & that we regularly hung out with alone. Before moving in the guy told my then BF that he keeps a bottle in the back of the refrigerator & not to touch it when he moved in. My then BF thought that sounded weird, & decided not to room with him. That was about Feb/March. When June rolled around our "friend" landed in jail for having a GALLON of GHB (the date rape drug). He bailed out of jail & within a month was caught a second time for the same thing... only this time he had it shipped to his second home in another state - FOUR GALLONS though. Later he admitted to our social circle that he'd not only been selling it, but using it on his dates as well. This is a guy who I regularly saw, including at parties & who hung out in smaller groups with me... I'd even hung out with him at one of the local strip clubs during convention pre-parties. He did plead guilty to the court too. BTW, this guy is also a professional, very nice, a lot of fun, stays in pretty good shape, owns his own business, & multiple houses. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out why he thought he even needed that stuff!

    Moral of the story: Just because someone has friends, even female friends, does not mean they can be trusted... particularly when you are alone with them one-on-one. Get to know him slowly, primarily in public first. Even though you may have plans for a simple one night stand, you don't know him, & his plans could be dangerous for you.

    Personally, I don't even let most men walk me to my car until I get to know them. Parking lots tend to not be well monitored, are a great place for them to try something, plus if they are creepy I don't want them knowing what I drive or my license plate number.
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    Quote Originally Posted by SuckMyKiss View Post
    Well be careful, make sure your phone is charged and don't bring TOO much money on you. LOL I sound like a mom... AND LET US KNOW WHEN YOU GET HOME!
    THIS is totally me!!!! LOL Seriously, you wouldn't believe the number of times that I've said to my friends "What time are your going to be finished? Call me when you are finished." If they don't call I start freaking out. Make sure someone knows where you are (address) if you are insistent on doing this, & who this guy is (hopefully name matches ID, you may want to give your friend the DL #).
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    Be careful sweetie! And try to figure out what you want....do you want to see him as a custy, get him to pay the bills? Or do you want to sleep with him because its been a while and he's hot? (Neither of these is wrong, btw). Can you meet for dinner near his place and see how you feel before going over there? Make sure you know what you want and expect and communicate this to him as clearly as you can (this doesn't mean rudely, just clearly - so, when you come into his house, ask where the guest room is, or if you'll be on the couch). Don't get so tipsy that you can't drive if you need to, and keep your keys close by. I would carry pepper spray too - just in case. And if you feel uncomfortable - LEAVE. Walk out mid-sentence if need be.
    I know it probably seems uber paranoid, but there are some dangerous men out there, and you just want to be sure that you are as safe as possible. Fingers crossed you get what you want out of it and have a great time!! : )

    Let us know how it goes!!
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    Quote Originally Posted by jules477 View Post
    god i am such a love starved person huh and a risk taker?
    Quote Originally Posted by jules477 View Post
    ...im just trying to move on from my past relationship with my loser lazy ex....truth is i am a lost little girl ugh
    These two passages mean you need to watch your ass--and who you give it up to, and how. Everything I am reading about this situation is ringing alarm bells that it's the wrong situation to put yourself in. If you are vulnerable and needing love/attention, going for a one night stand with a customer you just met in Champagne Room is about the worst thing you can do.

    As a dancer, you need to think like a predator, not like the prey.

    Every time I have ever seen a thread like this, or heard about a situation like it from female friends, the guy winds up dumping the girl after he fucks her--if not worse.

    You are vulnerable right now, the last thing you need to do is put yourself under his power.


    Besides, how do you know it's really his cabin? He might be borrowing it to fuck susceptible strippers.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    People go a lot longer than a month without sex, & I agree that by him inviting you to his place this whole thing smells fishy. I am not a proponent of seeing customers OTC, as a matter of fact I posted a thread ranting abouy this. If this guy has money then you are taking a prime customer & giving him reason to no longer be a customer. Do you want sex, or do you want to have your bills paid? As a customer he could help you pay bills a lot faster. There are plenty of men to date without dating strangers from the club, which takes away from your income. If you want to date a rich man then hang out where they hang out & go to events where they are more likely to be - like philanthropy events. Unless you are planning to charge him for sex then his money doesn't really matter to you since dating him does not mean that he'll be sharing it with you. Geez, what is it with people thinking that dating rich people is always better?! Its not, they don't always share it, often they play mind games & dangle the money in front of you. That's not 100% of them, but many. If you want someone who is generous a philanthropist is a good option & they often enjoy smart, nice women who are also eye candy.
    This ought to be engraved in stone, especially the bold parts. Great advice...
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  33. #24
    Senior Member jules477's Avatar
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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    well fuckin a! so my black lab kahluah..3 years old....passed away on my way to school this afternoon!!! what the fuck!!! my grandma passed suddenly in oct. kahluah was my best friend. im lost. i screamed at god on my way home to be with her. i dont care wtf is this?!im lost...no one can help me with MY personal loss this time ahhhh. im out gone tommorow.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]jules

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    Default Re: bad/stupid idea??

    what do you want from the dude? do you need a boyfriend or a sugardaddy/regular?

    first of all you met the dude once its no way enough time to get to know a person. especially if you two have been drinking he coulda been feeding you bullshit just to get you out of there and into his house later.

    i would encourage him to come back to the sc and spend more time in the vip with you coz then
    a. you will be in a safe envirnonment to get to know this guy
    b. you will know his personality more and see if he breaks character / says things that dont add up etc anything suspicious that you dont want to find out about later when youre locked in his trailor

    even if you are not looking for a regular just a date / fuck i would still encourage you to not meet him at his house but somewhere neutral, a place you know better like a specific bar. you may have great chemistry with him but i would be wary or any man i meet in the strip club because the connotation is already there. you are not some girl he met at a club, you were the stripper who gets naked on a stage... and depending on his view of the industry he might treat you bad, try degrade you etc.
    get to know him first on a few casual drunk dates before you sleep with him i say

    and if you want him as a regular i would under no circumstanced go to him house for drinks after having one ONE vip with him. damn girl, common sense...
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