So Im married. Been married almost 5 years, together 7. We never ever used to fight until the last 10 months. I think the biggest trigger has been me going back to university. My course is extremely demanding so I pretty much spend the whole week either in class or studying and then need to work as well. I dont get much time with hubby, which is not a problem for me really because I am extremely independent. But he doesn't like it because he says he's lonely. Which I find bs since when we both worked in the office we didnt have much more together time anyway. But that's his feelings so I guess I need to accept that.
The problem is, whenever we are together we seem to fight, usually over money or what we are going to do together - he always wants to go out clubbing, but I don't really want to or I want to do outdoorsy stuff and he isnt into it. I just feel like we have no common ground anymore. As soon as we start fighting somehow its always my fault but I really dont think its me bringing it up. Im just so over it. Tonight we had a nice relaxing hot tub and he had to start bringing up taxes and money. Seriously now dude? He gets mad at me because I don't want to talk about it. I thought this was "us" time.
So Ive seriously never ever fought in a relationship. I was with my ex for 8 years and we maybe had one fight and my husband and I maybe had one small argument a year up until now. Im not willing to stop my degree even if it cost me my marriage. This is something I need to do for me. This is the first time I can really say I feel 100% happy and confident in who I am as a person so Im not about to give that up. I guess I have no coping mechanisms for this though... how do you bring a relationship back from here? I fear this is the beginning of the end and it might be too late. I refuse to stay in a relationship like this, we had a strong relationship before...can we still get it back?



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Im going through kinda the same thing so I dont have much advice to give. Just wanted to give hugs*

I think you know we'd be the first ones to tell you if we thought it was beyond the point of no return, but I agree with everyone else here (the loving perceptive people that they are). From what I can tell, you guys have a level of honesty and openness that many could ever dream of having. Now you 2 are facing some external stressors that carry more weight than in the past and what you've been used to, but that's okay and normal. Life deals those out at times. It's not like they're internally designed stressors (like one of you being intentionally harmful). One of the important things I noticed in your post was that you are able to identify the key triggers, and I think that's such valid sign that you can figure out a way to communicate what's going on.


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