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Thread: wife=maid?!

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    Senior Member kendallj's Avatar
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    Default wife=maid?!

    So as I was cleaning the house today (for the 1000000th time in like 3 weeks) and I start to feel more like a maid every day. Does anyone else feel that way? I mean I know my hubby is a spoiled brat (thanx to his mom) but damn this is getting old. The day after I clean he'll throw his clothes in the floor and dirty up the kitchen... like why?!

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    Default Re: wife=maid?!

    Yep... I seriously dont know how my husband functioned before me and he was 30 when I got with him! He'd lived out of home since 19! Im just like seriously... what did you do? Buy new underwear everyday?? He'll do housework if I tell him to, but only when I ask and then its like 3 days after I asked. Men... I have a new way of doing things now though... If he's not doing it.. Neither am I. He can pay someone to do it. I pretty much havent cooked, or done laundry or ironing in 15 months. Me thinks its time to tell him to fork out for the cleaning lady..

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    Senior Member Roxychu's Avatar
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    Default Re: wife=maid?!

    Talking from the perspective of someone extremely messy (although tbf i'm 19 and only just left home). I have to say it's probably more that he's comfortable in mess more than you and that he would ultimately tidy up after himself but probably only when it becomes too untidy for him to handle which is past your threshold. Best way to deal with this i guess if it became a long term problem was for him to have a room he can hang out in and trash (like a spare bedroom) so that can contain his mess and then he wont have to tidy up much more than he likes to.

    Then gradually introduce him to the house chores. for example encourage him to wash up a little and get him to realise it's better to do it after you've eaten and not leave it (if he doesnt like that idea let him keep the dirty plates in his room until he does want to wash them like for example if he's got something that needs doing first) you could either always wash together or he could do evening and you do morning. gradually introduce him to some of the other chores you might have to make some deals like he might hate ironing so instead you do all of that but he hoovers.

    In reality this probably still won't end up equal but it'll improve. I've gradually learnt to wash my own dishes so us untidy people are trainable. hoovering is still non-existant (does my back in tbf) and so is ironing (i just hang things up!) but i don't bring my washing home anymore i actually no how a washing machine functions!

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    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
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    Default Re: wife=maid?!

    cause men who are babied by their mothers SUCK! Mine is ridiculous sometimes and it does my head in! Plus i live with 3 other boys who complain at me if i dont clean! i retaliated yesterday by ''cleaning'' the fridge and threw out EVERYTHING that was in there and open...they deserved it!

    He probably wont change his ways, i tried being super woman and it just made me knackered, so find a solution in only doing laundry some days, kitchen/bathroom others and constant asking to pick up after themselves, u may be lucky!
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    Default Re: wife=maid?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    Men... I have a new way of doing things now though... If he's not doing it.. Neither am I. He can pay someone to do it. I pretty much havent cooked, or done laundry or ironing in 15 months. Me thinks its time to tell him to fork out for the cleaning lady..
    This is exactly how I became... & if they won't pitch in to help either clean or with the money for a maid - I will end things. You'd be amazed at how much more free time having a maid will give you, & how much more relaxed you will be! I am very much "pro" maid, I'd work extra hours at the club to have one. My mom treated me like her personal maid when I was younger ( "housework before homework" was her motto along with "you better get it right the first time") so I despise cleaning - therefore I'm certainly not going to clean up after anyone who can do it themselves!


    Quote Originally Posted by Roxychu View Post
    Best way to deal with this i guess if it became a long term problem was for him to have a room he can hang out in and trash (like a spare bedroom) so that can contain his mess and then he wont have to tidy up much more than he likes to.
    I can vouch that this does not work, & only serves to treat them like toddlers with a "play room"... but worse. They always find a way to bring their mess to the common areas.

    Quote Originally Posted by GlitterBexie View Post
    cause men who are babied by their mothers SUCK!
    Ditto - I couldn't have said it better.


    Quote Originally Posted by GlitterBexie View Post
    i retaliated yesterday by ''cleaning'' the fridge and threw out EVERYTHING that was in there and open...they deserved it!
    I've totally done this! Seriously, I don't know what is wrong with some people. Why a person needs 6 bottles of something like mustard is beyond me... particularly duplicates of the same kind of mustard.
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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: wife=maid?!

    Quote Originally Posted by GlitterBexie View Post
    cause men who are babied by their mothers SUCK!
    Oh man, totally. I love my husband but his parents didn't make him do anything when he was growing up and it really makes a difference! My mom always had me help her with cleaning, cooking, etc, so I know how to keep a house clean.

    One time my husband and I got in an argument because I said I wish he'd clean the bathroom sometimes. He was really defensive and then finally admitted to me he DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM. Like he literally had no idea what steps to take. I asked his mom about it last time I saw her and she said she hasn't cleaned the bathroom since he was two! She always had a cleaning service do it until she got remarried and now her husband cleans. So her sons didn't learn from her how to clean.

    You bet your life I will be teaching my children how to cook, clean, do dishes, laundry, EVERYTHING! Regardless of whether they are male or female.
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    Default Re: wife=maid?!

    This is the reason I would live with someone before I marry them (though probably after engagement). I lived with two guys and one was a neat freak and the other picked up after himself. I would never clean up after a man. I'm not his maid.

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    Senior Member Roxychu's Avatar
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    Default Re: wife=maid?!

    -----
    Last edited by Roxychu; 03-18-2013 at 06:42 PM.

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    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
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    Default Re: wife=maid?!

    lol i just posted in another thread about how my bf was psychologically affected by not being 'wanted' as in it was an unwanted pregnancy, his mother 'made up' for feeling like this by doinf EVERYTHING for him, he does expect me to be his maid a lot of the time, my family is by no means normal and at home i am a princess and i get a lot done for me, but im capable of doing things for myself. He isnt capable cause he's never had to, actually, he is capable, he could learn, he chooses not to! We split up for a week and he was lost in our house, he didnt know where anything was, couldnt work out how to work things, and broke several appliances whilst trying to work them! Now we are back together he does do a lot more, but to be honest, im still doing the washing and the cooking cause he totally bloody ruined one of my favoirite skirts whilst being 'helpful' (who puts a cream shirt and a silk top in with a load of black laundry!!!???)
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    Senior Member kendallj's Avatar
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    Default Re: wife=maid?!

    Thanks for all the replies!!! At least it's not just me... I've never considered the thought that he didn't know how to clean... Yeah I'm the baby of the family and treated like a princess- I don't have to lift a hand with my family but I sure do make up for it with him... and the other morning he had the nerve to complain about the house being junky... he's cut off for at least a week for that one

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    Veteran Member bexxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: wife=maid?!

    It doesnt have to be because they were babied by their mothers I think its most men (not all) are like this. My boyfriend cant clean to save his life or do laundry lol but he doesnt really have a family hes nearly always had to do it for himself. I find that he likes cooking which im not crazy about so il do the laundry instead and we compromise on everything else

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