So I usually give ten free pics to anyone who tips me over ten gold on SM and I give 20 to the highest tipper.
Some guy comes into my room today and well...this happened:
Funtimes: Hey. How are you today?
Me: Did you read today's topic? (Wherein it describes that I have a sore throat and will only be not typing in Exclusive and Block sessions)
Funtimes: I did. I just had a question, though.
Me: Ask away, hon. (getting annoyed by this point, because this guy's only been in my room a handful of times and is ALWAYS a freeloader)
Funtimes: A couple nights ago i ddin't get the free pics you promised. i wrote it down, I tipped 10g to you.
Me: You have to message me for them or I can't send them to you. I don't remember having done a gold show recently, anyway.
Funtimes: Yes youdid. I tipd 10 gold.
Me: I don't remember you.
(He doesn't say anything. So I start going through EVERY person in my files who have ever tipped me for goldshows, and surprise, surprise, this asshole has NEVER been one of them.)
Me: Yeah, you're not in my payment history, but you can have this:
BAN
The story of asshole customer number 2:
Asshole: Are you Hispanic?
*I laugh* I'm white as can be, sugar.
Asshole: Ah, well I have mostly English and German in my blood.
Me: Oh yeah?
Asshole: Yes. So what about you?
Me: Mostly Irish and then Native American on both sides.
Asshole: Which tribes?
Me: Uh...Menomenee-Cree and Blackfoot.
Asshole: *tips 2 gold and starts role playing* I sneak into the Menomenee-Cree camp as a bandit to find things to steal. I begin filling my pack with goods.
Me: Ooo! Sounds like a fun role play. I'd love to talk more about this in Exclusive.
Asshole: *tard rages* Now, HOLD ON A SECOND. If we were exclusive, I'd demand you talk to only me and strip down for me, but I'm not doing that, am I? I JUST tipped you and I'd be happy to drop more. I am NOT taking you away from your customers!
Me: My companionship and attention is just as valuable as my time in exclusive. I'm glad that you tipped, but I also have other guests to greet and chat with.
Asshole: I am NOT, I repeat, I AM NOT, taking you away from your customers!
Me: Now, if you're going to get irate about this, I will not stand for that. Thank you, sir.
Asshole: I wasn't being rude!
Me: Well you're at least VERY awfully pushy.
Asshole: Well I'm sorry it's just been a hard day and a hard year.
Me: That's fine, my room is a place to relax. Simmer down, hon.

Asshole: *Tips 2 more gold* So anyway, you see my stealing, what is your response?
Me: "Well naturally, I wouldn't scream at first because I'd be curious...I'd sneak up behind you in the treeline and then I'd..."
BAN!
But seriously...do they really think we're all that fucking stupid? Jesus Christ. I need a drink after today!
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