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Thread: What's wrong with me....

  1. #1
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Duh What's wrong with me....

    I got all ready to go in for work. Hair extensions in, full face of makeup, shaved my cookie, packed my bag....and I just can't leave my apartment. I can't do it. I just can't go into work. I don't know what's wrong with me. Yes, my average has gone down (way down!) but I'm still making 'good' money. I went through a little period of burnout but I thought that was over. I've been working pretty steadily until this week.

    I don't know what the point of this thread is. I just..... I dunno. I feel like such a failure. I think that's he biggest thing. I know I'm not working as much as I should be and it makes me feel worthless (I don't mean to sound melodramatic, it's just how I'm feeling at this point.).

    I'm probably going to regret this post in a week, but i typed it and I feel a bit better now so it's getting posted.

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    MOP

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    ------
    Last edited by Athenathefabulous; 02-25-2011 at 04:57 AM.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Veteran Member Spankie55's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    You shouldn't feel down about your self. Everyone has days/weeks/months where shit just isn't working out for them.
    Don't worry,It'll pass
    Feel better.
    I is a mommy.
    09.27.09

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    Dont feel bad.. You probably have lots of things on the mind which is keeping you stressed, even if it doesnt feel that way. Maybe you're just so anxious you're waiting for that day to come by already (monday) ? Plus its the holiday's I think we all get into the lazy phrase, Im sure it'll go away as soon as holiday's are over.

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    girl ive been with you. the holiday lull sucks. i did the same thing on wednesday... got all beautiful and by then it was midnight... and i was like mehhh should i? so i called my club and they said it was slowwwww so i never went in.
    Ugh! Thank you for writing this! I know you're a hard worker and you make bank, so hearing this happens to you too makes me feel 10x better! It's slow at my club tonight too apparently ....

    Quote Originally Posted by Spankie55 View Post
    You shouldn't feel down about your self. Everyone has days/weeks/months where shit just isn't working out for them.
    Don't worry,It'll pass
    Feel better.
    Thanks love! It's easy to think your the only one this stuff happens too, y'know?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    Dont feel bad.. You probably have lots of things on the mind which is keeping you stressed, even if it doesnt feel that way. Maybe you're just so anxious you're waiting for that day to come by already (monday) ? Plus its the holiday's I think we all get into the lazy phrase, Im sure it'll go away as soon as holiday's are over.

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    @Kisca - yeah, I think I'm just excited about Monday too. You know the stuff I'm worrying about... And it totally pointless too....there's no need for me to be all stressed about it, butt being the worry wort I am of course I DO. I'm such a spaz.

    The candle is relaxing and helping me feel better though. Yay!

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    Your money would likely only go down if you went in expecting it to and not in a good mood. Everyone needs a break, so take some time to recharge and then go back in when you're ready. Is there a different club you could try out? Maybe a change of scenery would do you some good.

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    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    I bet you just need to take it easy for a while. Don't stress out about how much you "should" be working -- if you're making enough money to pay your bills, that's enough for right now. We all go through rough times and bounce back from them.

    Above all, you're NOT a failure! You work in an industry that can be REALLY difficult at times. Cut yourself some slack, and go back when you're ready.

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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    girl ive been with you. the holiday lull sucks. i did the same thing on wednesday... got all beautiful and by then it was midnight... and i was like mehhh should i? so i called my club and they said it was slowwwww so i never went in.
    you're lucky. any club i've been at, they'd say it was busy even if there were only 3 guys through the door all night. shit like that is why i have anxiety about going in a lot of the time.

    i have mad anxiety about working, though it isn't as bad as it used to be. i'd seriously get ready every night for weeks, drive to the club, and drive right on past it, turn around and go home. and that was a few years ago, when money was better. now if i don't feel like going in, i don't get ready. and if i get ready i go in. a couple of my best nights have been when i didn't want to go but somehow forced myself to. so i try to remember that.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Veteran Member Lacy Luck's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    +1

    I've done the same thing. Gotten dressed, packed, and drove all the way only to look at the parking lot and go home.

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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    depending on which club I go to I drive between a half hour and an hour away so if I'm feeling unmotivated I always make the drive out there and then by the time I get there I'm like "well I'm already here so I might as well get ready." I don't get ready at home because it's too easy to just say "oh well fuck it."

    if I get ready at work I have a harder time turning around because I've already wasted all that gas to get there.

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    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    The few times that I've worked in december (3) so far have been pretty shitty money for me too. Not shitty enough for me to feel I deserve to complain about it, but shitty enough that I'm not satisfied and having to watch my dollar, know how you feel!!! I think the only thing you can do is think as one of my friends said after my last shift "at least you made more money than you would have sitting at home on the couch". But girl, if you need a break, take it

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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    I don't think I've gotten ready and not gone but that's only because I work away from home. If I'm in the middle of nowhere ( where I usually go ) there just isn't anything to do but work. I have however told myself I'd go for a weekend and then bailed and stayed home. I haven't worked in a bit ( this being my longest break in 2010 ) .

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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    ive had that happen to me. or, i would go in and take an hour or an hour and a half to get ready in the dressing room instead of 20 minutes like i usually do.

    when im in a funk like that, i try to leave early, maybe buy a cute outfit or new make up product to wear, or buy myself a glass of champagne as a treat. i have had a few nights when its been pretty dead but i made good money the last hour or two that we were open (so dead in fact that i was one of two dancers there and the waitress was volunteering to strip out of her sweatpants and hoodie on stage if it got busy)

    but i try to tell myself that no matter what little amount of money i can/will potentially make, it is more than i would make if i sat at home all night.

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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    Yes! I think everyone that has ever danced has done this...totally normal. Some days you just don't want to go!

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    Veteran Member Sia's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    I almost did that tonight! So far this week the club has been overrun with children. Drunk, cheap-ass, annoying college students and their girlfriends.

    The traveling business men have gone home for the holidays, and we're left with 1 dance buying intoxicated morons. Ugh.

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  31. #17
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    ^happened this week too! Even the manager told me during the holidays the crazies come out more..on sat night the cops came for a fight in the parking lot between a couple! Tonight was the first "ok" shift almost all month, so yeah, its definitely not just you hun! Everyone keeps saying Jan is even slower..so I'm looking forward to Feb

  32. #18
    Senior Member MOP's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    I'm completely burned out too I took twoo weeks off,worked a weekend,and took the week after that off too. I haven't worked at all this week. I have worked about maybe 6-8 days this month,I feel like a fat lazy cow grazing on pizza and wings. I feel like such a big failure thinking about it makes me all shakey inside and I want to cry...maybe its the winter blues but I feel like CRAP. Idk if I can shake this....even bought a $95 custom outfit for work....didn't work....I can't move off my ass.
    I'M A HUSTLA HOMIE!!!

  33. #19
    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    I'm not burnt out but it is hard to get motivated when you know it's a slow time of year. I confess that I have gotten all tarted up and then ... gone out with friends instead of work haha.

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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    This has happened to all of us sweetie - you are NOT a failure for it! I remember for a while, I would get a dolled up, and get out to the club, and literally walk up to the door and keep walking. It was like I couldn't control my feet to make them stop and go in the door...its horrible!!

    I got over a lot of it by trying to focus on all the positives of the job - and doing silly things to get in a good mood, like dancing around the living room singing "money money money money - MON-EH!"...Its still really hard sometimes - last night I was still lying on the couch with the bf at 11pm, and realized that it just wasn't going to happen that night. Try not to be too hard on yourself! If you've been going in a decent amount, the club doesn't expect you in for certain shifts, and you can afford to miss a couple, then miss 'em. Don't beat yourself up about it, just go in the next time.

    *hugs*
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    Veteran Member Sia's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    Wow, I totally should have stayed home tonight. This is the first time I've felt like crying on the way home from work. Crappy night.....$150.....club filled with kids again. I guess this is what burnout feels like....I'm starting to take rejections personally and get pissed off about it. My tolerance for drunken stupidity is also waaayyy low lately. Tonight I backhanded an old man across the head. He totally deserved it....slapped my ass out of nowhere in the middle of the club. But still, I'm becoming reactive and violent, ugh.

  36. #22
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    burn out....

    What always helped me is a NEW CLUB. The money or the headache isn't worth it anymore and you are getting that mental block.

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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    Man, tonight was the 2nd day I've been in to work this MONTH. So yeah, I feel your pain.

    Going in to work is like a chore to me now and the fact that I can't seem to get hired at a better club than the one I'm at now is adding to the negative way I feel about working.

    Maybe when I start to go broke I'll haul ass to work more often.... maybe.

  38. #24
    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    Its so true that the feeling comes and goes in phases- sometimes you KNOW you will make money if you go in and you just cant do it anyway. Everyone says relax and chill at home etc but screw that- you need distraction, reboot your brain! Go out for a cocktail, have a midnight picnic with your lover at a lookout.

    When I feel that black cloud I often search funny, disgussting, weird and worst on SW threads and laugh my way back to sanity- You know that you can and when you're ready you will.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me....

    Awww...thank you everyone for your nice replies. Whats most comforting is that LOTS of other dancers have had this happen before.

    At my club we seriously have girls who are MACHINES - they are there every single night. They're all friends with one-another, and they always look like they're having an amazing time. It's like the stress of the job doesn't get to them. I start to think I'm the only one working who would rather be home in my PJ's. Makes a gal feel lazy and upset.

    Anyway, I took a few days off, and now my club is closed until Jan. 4th; so I get a nice little guilt-free break over the holidays. I'm good for my bills and a little spending money (although this X-mas will be more modest that the past few - which is fine), and I feel like I'll be in the mood to make mad cash (read: go to work) once the break is over.

    All the nice words really helped. Thank you ladies so much!

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