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Thread: Coming out to friends

  1. #1
    Featured Member K Sweet's Avatar
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    Default Coming out to friends

    I think I'm going to come out to a friend tomorrow about being a stripper. He's a fairly open-minded guy, and we've been friends for a long time, so I feel like it's time I be honest with him. I'm a little nervous however, since often my straight male friends can get awkward when I talk about stripping, but I'm getting sick of keeping up with all the cover stories.

    What are your rules about coming out? How do you choose people to come out to? What do you do/say?
    Last edited by K Sweet; 12-19-2010 at 10:28 PM. Reason: grammer
    Goodbye Seattle Lusty Lady, where every Miss is a Hit, and every Hit is Missed. 1985-2010.

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    Default Re: Coming out to friends

    Normally I just kept it to people I knew who wouldn't judge me or those who needed to know. For instance while dancing fulltime I told boyfriends. Now as a retired dancer I never know if I should tell people. Most of my friends I've gotten since retiring from fulltime don't know I was a dancer. Boyfriends though are often another story. I found that most (not all) guys either think it's cool, think I'm easy, or have no opinion. I've dated a few guys that once they found out told me I wasn't "wife material" anymore. The guy I am in love with is a former customer so if we do get together he already knows. If we don't, I wonder if I should bring this up to a potential boyfriend. Many of the guys I am seeking out might have a problem with it. None of my relatives know. I know they would judge me so I don't tell them.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Coming out to friends

    With me I pretty much don't keep it a secret. Its rare that people don't know what I do, but normally if that is the case it's because they are an acquaintance whom I recently met that is not a friend & will never become a friend.

    I don't really have rules for who I tell. If they can't handle what I do then they don't deserve my friendship, I'm very loyal & expect the same from friends.
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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Coming out to friends

    With strangers I usually dont tell them anything, with friends, most know, cause they are in the business or arent close enough to know what I do, or I just rather keep it to myself.

    I did tell a guy friend of 6 years... after that he start being way more flirty with me and saying stuff such as "so do I see in your work place' etc. So I stopped talking to him as much, cause he would make such comments... and I dont feel comfortable being around that.

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Coming out to friends

    No one knows in my life except for other girls that are dancers who I met through here. I don't dance all that often, so it doesn't feel like I'm leading a double life or anything, but next semester I definitely see myself dancing a lot more so I could see it getting a bit harder to keep it a secret. I figure it's no one's business, and since I'm not sure what I want to do with my life down the road, I'd rather keep it to myself just in case. It helps that I can talk to those aforementioned girls about dancing, otherwise I think I'd be more inclined to tell someone in my life so I would have someone to confide in/bitch to/get excited with.

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Coming out to friends

    I can relate ! Only the guys I date ( three in last year ) know. One friend in my area knows I " used to " dance but doesn't know I still do. I hate the lying and I'm always wanting to come out. You just tell them ! With J. . I just said " Are you good or not so good at keeping secrets " then told him a few days later.

    The thing I hate the most is that I have funny travel/dancing stories that I can't tell ! It kills me have someone go " how was your weekend " and not be able to tell. But ... ID face repercussions at day job guaranteed so I keep it under wraps.

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    Featured Member K Sweet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Coming out to friends

    I told my friend anyways and he said he didn't really care, which is exactly what I wanted to hear.
    Goodbye Seattle Lusty Lady, where every Miss is a Hit, and every Hit is Missed. 1985-2010.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Coming out to friends

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    I did tell a guy friend of 6 years... after that he start being way more flirty with me and saying stuff such as "so do I see in your work place' etc. So I stopped talking to him as much, cause he would make such comments... and I dont feel comfortable being around that.
    This could be another thing that is different about me. My close friends have always made a lot of sexual jokes & innuendos, so if they made any more I didn't notice.
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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Coming out to friends

    Glad it went well! I LOVED that the guy I dated most recently didn't care one way or the other .

  11. #10
    Featured Member K Sweet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Coming out to friends

    ^That is so great. I would love to date someone who didn't care that I stripped.
    Goodbye Seattle Lusty Lady, where every Miss is a Hit, and every Hit is Missed. 1985-2010.

  12. #11
    Senior Member WorkItNow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Coming out to friends

    me freakin too^

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    Default Re: Coming out to friends

    I'm a lot like Kylea...it doesn't really matter to me who knows that I dance (except family, of course). Hell, earlier this last semester, my creative writing prof and I sat down and had lunch and it came up. He got a huge kick out of it. Later on in the semester, for the poetry writing part of the course, I wrote a poem talking about where I work, without ever naming what I do or where I work. They got it, of course. Since the school I go to is largely Baptist (I'm Wiccan and that is something I keep quiet), it made some of my classmates uncomfortable. But you know what? Fuck it. I am who I am, I do what I do, and if they can't accept it, that's their own issue.

    On a side note, about a month after that poem, there was a bachelor party at my club, and one of my classmates was there. He was pretty drunk, but he admitted he thought the poem was a load of shit, so he was ridiculously surprised to see me there. Pretty awkward, but made for a hilarious story later on.

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