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Thread: How to Deal with Rejection/ WTF? I thought I was too old for this already

  1. #1
    Senior Member Lillionaire's Avatar
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    Default How to Deal with Rejection/ WTF? I thought I was too old for this already

    Okay. I was supposed to meet up with my male friend yesterday, to pick up a flute that I left at his house. I've had a crush on him for about 3 years now, but... never gotten much closer. (You know, you ever have one of those friendships you're sort of mutually attracted but just flirt forever? What happens to those?)

    Anyway, he was supposed to call me yesterday as he headed back into town in car, then pick me up and go to his place. He even wrote down my address when I told him.

    Well... I waited for him to call...

    ...and he didn't.

    Completely stood me up,

    still hasn't called.

    Wtf? It's hard for me to figure out what's happening, or what I should do, because I have the hots for him and I think he might have a girlfriend but it seems unclear. It's not like I want to be his GF at the moment (really i just want to get my flute and go)... Ive been feeling socially awkward all the time lately.

    Seriously, I'm 24 and I thought I was past lame boy-girl awkwardness type stuff... How come I'm taking rejection so hard... I'm afraid to even call him now (to try getting the flute again) because I feel like he's rejecting me in a pretty clear way.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to Deal with Rejection/ WTF? I thought I was too old for this already

    Most guys are terrible at communication, particularly when they are young. Sadly, it's often not even intentional. Just chalk it up & move on.
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    Senior Member Lillionaire's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to Deal with Rejection/ WTF? I thought I was too old for this already

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    Most guys are terrible at communication, particularly when they are young. Sadly, it's often not even intentional. Just chalk it up & move on.
    Should I try to get my flute at his house again? Or should I chalk that one up as a loss, too (to save myself some dignity), and move on?

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to Deal with Rejection/ WTF? I thought I was too old for this already

    Just call him the next day and say '"Hey, sorry to bother.. But I need my flute... When are you avaible so I can get it?"

    He probably forgot, I would deff call though and keep it formal.. I dont see why you should be shy or uneasy about it, you guys are friends, even though you do like him there is nothing wrong by calling, even flirting with him. If he took it fairly easy for those 3 years with you Im sure it wasnt a big thing as you make it to be - it only seems like it cause your emotions are in it

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to Deal with Rejection/ WTF? I thought I was too old for this already

    Quote Originally Posted by Lillionaire View Post
    Should I try to get my flute at his house again? Or should I chalk that one up as a loss, too (to save myself some dignity), and move on?
    If the flute is less than $200 I would say don't worry about it unless its sentimental.

    If you have a mutual friend who sees him regularly, I would see if they could pick it up.

    Otherwise, call again & let him know you are in a hurry (you have an appointment/class/whatever other than a date), but that if you could just park your car, get the flute from him, & let him continue on his day... you'd be grateful.
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    Default Re: How to Deal with Rejection/ WTF? I thought I was too old for this already

    If you really want to see .... you could have him meet you for a drink / bring the flute. I'm not sure what the odds are ( after three years , he may have tried something already you know ? ) ..... but if you get a buzz on and go out and have fun .... well maybe then he'd attempt something.

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    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to Deal with Rejection/ WTF? I thought I was too old for this already

    If you have known the dude for three years, I should hope that you can get in touch with him to get your flute back. Even if he doesn't "like you like that".

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    Default Re: How to Deal with Rejection/ WTF? I thought I was too old for this already

    Best way to deal with rejection?

    Never give them the chance.

    In your case you want your flute back, and I don't blame you. Depending on how much it's worth to you, you can risk letting the asshole get the upper hand by trying to get it back.

    I have become cynical, but I don't care how hot anyone thinks they are, there is no one on the face of this earth that is too cool for me.

    If I even thought they were hot for a few seconds, but they even start to look like they will turn that appeal into some sort of assumed power over me...they don't exist.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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