Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 29

Thread: Can you ever trust a stripper?

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    32
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Can you ever trust a stripper?

    A few years back I met a dancer in a club. We had quite some things in common. After a while we decided to have a drink somewhere in town. From there on a great friendship developed IMO. No sexual intentions, no sexual inuedo, no indications at all. We are both not touchy-feely people. We just enjoy hanging together. When we go out, she always insists on paying her part or sometimes she even treats. We watched many movies on the couch until late at night.
    One day I was at the mall. She called and asked since I was there to buy her something. I would get the money back when I would come to her home. I bought it and went to her house. It appeared she didn't have the cash and spent it on her way home. Normally no biggie at all. Thing is, I got angry and showed it to her. I feel really bad about this, as she completely didn't deserve it! I realized that I wouldn't react to any other person in this way. I realized that because she is a stripper it is always somewhere hidden in the back of my mind that her profession is to make money (or hustling) from guys and therefore couldn't trust her completely, there is always this caution because of what she does for a living. I know, its completely not fair towards her. All is fine now, but it keeps bothering me.
    Do other dancers also notice that other people and guys especially trust them less because of their job? Would guys ever be able to completely trust a dancer?

  2. #2
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Denver & San Fran
    Posts
    6,907
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 2,002 Times in 1,285 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    I'm not sure how long you knew this girl for, but I'd say she doesn't deserve your friendship. Calling you & asking you to buy her something, with the intent that she'd pay you back right away, & then not having the money is totally disrespectful. This is particularly so because we don't always know other people's financial situations nor should we expect them to divulge that type of private information to us. If she had put someone in that situation who could not afford to not be paid back right away, then she would be causing them un-necessary stress, which is not good at all.

    Do I think there are dancers out there whom you can trust? Yes, there are a few on this site even who have become very trusted friends of mine over the years. Do I think that is common among dancers? No, I think in the general population of dancers that being trustworthy is rare.

    I have a theory on trust. On a scale of 1 to 10, with one being the lowest amount of trust, everyone who I meet starts at about a 5 on my trust level... & slowly moves up. Depending on how much I trust them, I am willing to do different things. However, there is one big rule about money that I learned very early on - you never "loan" money or credit to someone if you can't afford to lose it. In other words, expect that if you spend money or give them money, it is a gift. Many people will not pay you back... except the most honorable & trustworthy of them.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
    My PM box fills up quick. If you have a question please with your username.
    Congrats to Pryce on doing some much needed tending in his garden!
    - -


  3. #3
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    2,447
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 1,534 Times in 805 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    I dont see a big problem.. I mean how much was that thing you bought? How many days passed?

    Usually if she paid for herself, and even paid for you at times, then let this one go. Im not saying forget about her paying you back, do remind her if you want to, but dont be so harsh about it. I do think it was wrong of her to say she wasted the money that day when she said she would pay you back as well.. So, you cant trust a common dancer. Depending how long u knew her, and how she handled her money with you around will show whether she will pay you back or not.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Kisca For This Useful Post:


  5. #4
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Denver & San Fran
    Posts
    6,907
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 2,002 Times in 1,285 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    ^^^ If she asked him to buy something she ought to have the money to pay him back right away, even if it meant going to the bank ATM to pay him back or writing him a check with money in her account to cover it.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
    My PM box fills up quick. If you have a question please with your username.
    Congrats to Pryce on doing some much needed tending in his garden!
    - -


  6. #5
    God/dess
    Joined
    May 2006
    Location
    Rhode Island
    Posts
    2,420
    Thanks
    36
    Thanked 291 Times in 210 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    I wouldn't advise any customer to loan money to a dancer any more than I'd advise a dancer to extend credit to a customer. I've been on both sides of this situation with dancers in the club and didn't like it. That being said, you present this girl as more than "just a dancer" to you. Unless your presentation is inaccurate, you loaned money to a friend (not a dancer) who hasn't paid you back (yet). If this person has more than covered her own expenses thus far, it seems you are making a mountain out of a mole hill unless the purchase was excessively large.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

    If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to bem401 For This Useful Post:


  8. #6
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Location
    the pants party,
    Posts
    798
    Thanks
    936
    Thanked 526 Times in 231 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    ^^^ If she asked him to buy something she ought to have the money to pay him back right away, even if it meant going to the bank ATM to pay him back or writing him a check with money in her account to cover it.

    completely agree kylea
    not cool of her. i would never do something like that. Especially with a newer friend.

  9. #7
    God/dess anouk.oui's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,961
    Thanks
    3,002
    Thanked 1,485 Times in 738 Posts
    My Mood
    Blah

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    as a custoemr i wouldnt trust a stripper unless i was a regular for years.

    however likewise, as a stripper i dont trust customers anymore. they always find one way or another to screw you over.
    FUCK YEAH finally retired after 6 years dancing!!
    NEW to camming
    Use the discount code "DANCER" to get 15% off ALL mermaid bikinis & swimwear at



  10. #8
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by bem401 View Post
    I wouldn't advise any customer to loan money to a dancer any more than I'd advise a dancer to extend credit to a customer. I've been on both sides of this situation with dancers in the club and didn't like it.
    While I did just loan a very good DJ friend of mine a few hundred, ordinarily I wouldn't loan a SCDJ 5$.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  11. #9
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    at the Y
    Posts
    10,035
    Thanks
    2,878
    Thanked 5,834 Times in 2,332 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Walker View Post
    A few years back I met a dancer in a club. We had quite some things in common. After a while we decided to have a drink somewhere in town. From there on a great friendship developed IMO.
    Really? It sounds like you both have a few issues to deal with. She shouldn't have asked you to buy her something if she knew that she was not going to have the money with her to pay you back. That's bad behavior on her part but it's not something I would classify as "stripper behavior".

    Now, if you are friends with her and spend time together with her outside of the club it's time for you to stop thinking of her as a stripper and start thinking of her as a person. Bad behavior is bad behavior. Attributing it to a person's occupation is a bit closed-minded in my opinion. I've been cheated, lied to and lost money to lots of women in my life. Non of them were strippers. In fact, the dancers that I know OTC are some of the nicest women I've known in my entire life.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  12. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to yoda57us For This Useful Post:


  13. #10
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,968
    Thanks
    798
    Thanked 1,121 Times in 605 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Walker View Post
    Do other dancers also notice that other people and guys especially trust them less because of their job? Would guys ever be able to completely trust a dancer?
    To answer the question, yes, its caused issues for me with friends and lovers. I've even caught the guy I was dating, and our mutual friend, who introduced us, discussing me (over texts) and how I was not trustworthy because I'm a stripper that was likely molested, and after his money. And I thought this guy was my friend! And I never EVER asked for money from either of them or treated them like customers.

    That's why I don't tell just anyone about what I do, or did. Even when I danced, I didn't tell a lot of people I met. The stereotype poisons people's minds. Also, the stereotype is often true.

  14. #11
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    The stereotype poisons people's minds. Also, the stereotype is often true.
    Yes. And yes. That's been my experience--with strippers, DJs, managers, etc. Also relatives, college friends, so forth judging people in the industry. Sad but true...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  15. #12
    Banned
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Lakewood, Colorado
    Posts
    1,145
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked 344 Times in 233 Posts
    My Mood
    Twisted

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    cant really trust anyone in this business. Its brutal, nasty and so many shady characters.

    I almost want to do a background check on everyone I work with or come in contact with.

  16. #13
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Denver & San Fran
    Posts
    6,907
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 2,002 Times in 1,285 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLynne View Post
    I almost want to do a background check on everyone I work with or come in contact with.
    I always background check guys before I date them, but I have TOTALLY thought about doing background checks on people before I got involved with them for business. For some people, that's just smart.

    I really wish more clubs did this with staff & dancers. While I think some things can be forgiven, there are crimes which dancing puts people into a higher level of temptation for. As an example, thieves are probably more likely to be tempted to steal in a club where they know physical cash is floating around & people often leave things out of their lockers. On the other hand, there is the idea of forgiveness & if someone has say a charge for prostitution, they are likely to have a difficult time finding work. While clubs may be concerned about hiring someone with such a charge because they may try things inside the club or see customer OTC, not hiring them almost dooms them to be dramatically negatively effected by previous actions for the rest of their lives, even if they want to change. It's a bit of a catch 22.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
    My PM box fills up quick. If you have a question please with your username.
    Congrats to Pryce on doing some much needed tending in his garden!
    - -


  17. #14
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    I too did background checks on every guy I dated. I thought I was alone with this, but after dating a con artist I am very careful on this respect. The only exception are guys I know well and know what kind of men they are (like the one I want now).

    I think most dancers are not to be trusted, but I think that's true in most industries. I didn't trust the HR people at my last job because they were thieves and stole everything. When working the clubs I watched my property and made sure I left every night with everything I brought. I never kept anything in lockers.

  18. #15
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Denver & San Fran
    Posts
    6,907
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 2,002 Times in 1,285 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I too did background checks on every guy I dated. I thought I was alone with this, but after dating a con artist
    That's what got me started too. Funny enough, through a background check I found out a lot about the men I dated even in the past, who I'd run into & they'd want to date again. The second time I did background checks - just amazing what you find!
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
    My PM box fills up quick. If you have a question please with your username.
    Congrats to Pryce on doing some much needed tending in his garden!
    - -


  19. #16
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    florida
    Posts
    1,864
    Thanks
    83
    Thanked 457 Times in 287 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    a lot of dancers aren't trustworthy. a lot of people, men and women alike, who aren't strippers and never have been or will be strippers are also not trustworthy.

    it doesn't have anything to do with the business. it's just that with other businesses, people don't say "ugh, she's just a lying barista at starbucks/ER nurse/house cleaner/whatever. i should've known not to trust her. they'll all screw you over." there's a stereotype about strippers. sometimes it's true, sometimes it isn't. you should learn how to judge people as individuals, rather than by their job. most people aren't smart enough to do that and would rather take shortcuts.

    if you can't afford to lose money, don't give anyone a loan ever. always see it as a gift, and hopefully they'll give it back. or at least put a quick contract together or use your cellphone to film a quick video of them saying they'll pay you back blank amount of money. at least then you could take them to court over it.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

  20. #17
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    That's what got me started too. Funny enough, through a background check I found out a lot about the men I dated even in the past, who I'd run into & they'd want to date again. The second time I did background checks - just amazing what you find!
    It really is interesting what can be found. I've found previous wives (though they said they weren't married), criminal records, etc. I know that if I do online again I will run background checks. I'm not going to be screwed financially again. I'm not going to have a guy use me for money, or pretend to want to be with me while he's really married.

  21. #18
    Member
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    32
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    I mean how much was that thing you bought? How many days passed?
    Not much, below $50 (it was more the principle than the actual money). She payed it a few days later with a present as part of the apology.

    I have a theory on trust. On a scale of 1 to 10, with one being the lowest amount of trust, everyone who I meet starts at about a 5 on my trust level... & slowly moves up


    I totally agree. She was close to 10, considering experiences in the past. What I am trying to say is that with other people with the same past, I wouldnt react the way I did.
    Bad behavior is bad behavior. Attributing it to a person's occupation is a bit closed-minded in my opinion.
    No, I am not attributing it to her occupation, I think you misinterpreted the OP question(s). Although you can have a whole (valid) discussion how much ones occupation influences ones character and vica-versa.

  22. #19
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    at the Y
    Posts
    10,035
    Thanks
    2,878
    Thanked 5,834 Times in 2,332 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Walker View Post

    No, I am not attributing it to her occupation, I think you misinterpreted the OP question(s).
    Quote Originally Posted by Walker View Post
    I realized that I wouldn't react to any other person in this way. I realized that because she is a stripper it is always somewhere hidden in the back of my mind that her profession is to make money (or hustling) from guys and therefore couldn't trust her completely, there is always this caution because of what she does for a living. I know, its completely not fair towards her. All is fine now, but it keeps bothering me.
    What exactly is it that I misinterpreted again?
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  23. #20
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Tampa
    Posts
    4,035
    Thanks
    278
    Thanked 586 Times in 346 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    It sounds to me like YOU have the problem, not her.

    I buy things all the time for friends who don't immediately pay me for them. We settle up eventually. For something that was less than $50, you overreacted.

    My honest opinion is that you see her as a stripper first, and a friend second, and that you have negative feelings about strippers as a whole.

  24. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mr Hyde For This Useful Post:


  25. #21
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    2,447
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 1,534 Times in 805 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Walker View Post


    Not much, below $50 (it was more the principle than the actual money). She payed it a few days later with a present as part of the apology.
    I understand that the principle mattered to you... but if you thought about the factors of her payng for herself ALL the time and even paying for you, that could have summed it up on one object that she asked for.

    I think you are more concerned about yourself or see her as a stripper who is there to grab money in the first sight.. either you trust her or you dont. We arent all bad.

  26. #22
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,968
    Thanks
    798
    Thanked 1,121 Times in 605 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Ladies who do background checks, what is your process and how do you do it? You can PM me if you want.

    I REALLY REALLY wish I did a background check on my last two boyfriends, particularly the one who ended up being violent. It would have been so easy too. But I did it after the fact, talked to a detective friend AND bought some type of background check thing online. Could have saved me a lot of heartache.

  27. #23
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,207
    Thanks
    110
    Thanked 247 Times in 168 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    Ladies who do background checks, what is your process and how do you do it? You can PM me if you want.

    I REALLY REALLY wish I did a background check on my last two boyfriends, particularly the one who ended up being violent. It would have been so easy too. But I did it after the fact, talked to a detective friend AND bought some type of background check thing online. Could have saved me a lot of heartache.
    I would also like to know this.

  28. #24
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    at the Y
    Posts
    10,035
    Thanks
    2,878
    Thanked 5,834 Times in 2,332 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    ^ Ahhhh...relationships in the 21st century. I think I will just keep paying for it...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  29. #25
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Can you ever trust a stripper?

    There's a few ways I do background checks. The simplest is that I Google them. That alone helped me find out that several guys I briefly dated had wives. In the past (not recently) I've bought background checks online and have even gone to courthouse to get various checks and have found marriages this way and criminal checks (one guy had molested his sister). Years ago I knew a cop and he would run background checks on people.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Why Would a Trust Fund Baby Become a Stripper?
    By jack0177057 in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 88
    Last Post: 11-13-2012, 09:50 AM
  2. trust
    By blueyegurl_05 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-11-2006, 06:09 PM
  3. Trust?
    By Moneywise in forum Shop Talk
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 02-06-2004, 11:28 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •