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Thread: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

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    Sad Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    so Ive been on SW for some time and enjoy creeping but never really posted on here, this is one of my first posts... so I would enjoy the opinion of other strippers here as other girls would have a biased opinion as they are not themselves strippers.. So I flipped at my bf once i found out he got dances from another stripper in my hometown(which i do not work at because, it is my hometown) While i was out of town working my ass off to make $ at another club. I was seeing red. I got cheated on by my x of 5.5 yrs and since i am 21 thats most of my dating life spent on a loser..now that he lied abt this i am wondering what else does he lie about, how many times has it been? he tells mewell how can u be mad at me you danced for millions of other guys but it is my job, its not like i enjoyed it and i didnt pay some of my hard earned money to spend time with another guy.. all he keeps throwing in my face is how many guys "i give boners to per night" as he crudely puts it. this is making me so upset but yet its true that is what i do for a job but for me to work so hard for my $ and i feel like that $ he spent couldof been to buy something for me, as selfish as i know that sounds, but he gives it to some other girl? and if he would of told me himself it owuldnt be so bad as another stripper sayin she seen my man at the strip club and now hes on the offensive, just told meto fuck off (maybe well deserved, i was piiissed) sorry i know theres a lot of typos, too mad to type properly or fix mistakes and capitalise my "i"s.. what are your thoughts? sorry for the long rant, not sure how to take this i see his side that i am a stripper but this still makes me feel litteraly like i swallowed a handful of pebbles, thats the best way to describe it i want to puke.. please advice would be great.are you ok with your man getting dances when ur not in the club with him??

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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    That guy is an insecure asshole; I would drop him, and fast. I don't mind if my bf gets a lapdance, but yours sounds like a real immature piece of Shit, no offense. He doesn't respect you, and you deserve better.

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    Veteran Member Arizona_Angel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    I would be fine if he was upfront - your guy wasn't, so no - I would be pissed.

    I don't know how you two are, but all I can say is once the trust is broken it takes a HELL of a lot to get it back. Make sure he is worth it! Even after years he may not be.

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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    Before I became a stripper I didn't like my guy going to strip clubs.
    A little while after I started dancing I told him he could go, but no lapdances. I think it bothered me to think of him being the creepy loser some girl has to dance on, even though he's really not like that. It also irritated me to think of him spending money on another girl while I was out working, as immature as that sounds.

    We ended up going to a strip club together not too long, and had a lot of fun. Once I saw him get a lap dance and realized it was no big thing I stopped caring. Now I get pissed if he doesn't buy a dance, or at least tip the stage, lol. I figured his money is his money and once I saw he wasn't really spending a ton in there I didn't feel so jealous.

    Anyway, the point it when I didn't like it he respected that enough to not go. He not once tried to use my job against me. I don't blame you for being pissed, I know I would be. It's not the same and your boyfriend should know that!
    Your boyfriend needs to respect your feelings, and definitely should've told you instead of you having to hear it from someone else! At the very least he should not be throwing your job in your face. People make mistakes and it's one thing if he went not knowing you'd be pissed or something, but if that's the case he should be apologizing and trying to make it right, now being a fucking tool about it!

    If he keeps acting like such a jerk, maybe you should reevaluate the relationship.
    I hope you get it all worked out.

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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    First off, it all he was doing was getting lapdances, that is pretty far from cheating in my book. I would hope that as an entertainer you would agree with that.

    Now, I have been in your shoes before where I'm going out & working to make money but the guy I'm seeing is spending money on another dancer. My opinion is that if he is working, even if you two split the bills, he has the right to spend some money for entertainment as long as it's not excessive. If you are the primary bread winner, & he is spending a good amount while you are trying to work to earn more, then you need to dump him because he's wasteful. If you two don't split bills, & he earns his money & pays his own bills, then he has the right to do whatever he wants with his money... as long as he doesn't turn around & ask you to help him out.
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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    If I caught Chris getting lapdances from some other bitch I'd cut his dick off and feed it to the snake.

    I have bought him lapdances before, as long as I'm there and I pick the piece of meat, fine.

    He's reading this now
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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    Your boyfriend sounds insecure and immature. The issue of him going to a strip club, and him throwing your job in your face, are two different problems. I think the fact that he insulted you for being a stripper is a clear sign that he's not worth it. I mean, I'm sure there are other things that are positive in your relationship, but if you want to continue your job and stay with him, it will probably continue to be difficult. Some men just can't deal with dating a stripper, and they'll do exactly what your boyfriend did: insult you, hold it against you, use it as an excuse to be with women behind your back. I'm a firm believer that you should never allow yourself to be treated badly because of your job, especially from your boyfriend.

    If he didn't insult you, and there was more trust in your relationship, then it should be okay for him to go to a club and get lapdances. BUT this is obviously not easy when there's jealousy and a lack of trust. In an ideal relationship (and many of us on SW are with guys who are like this, including myself) your man will never hold stripping against you, or make you feel bad about it. At the same time, it will be okay for him to go to the club (as long as he's spending his money, not yours), because it's just entertainment, as we all know.

    At the end of the day, it's JUST a job, and any guy who's worth being your boyfriend will understand that.

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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    AGHHH! I watched my boyfriend get a LD from a new girl at my club WHILE i was on stage a few weeks ago. It doesn't bother me at all. You should be more worried about him in a regular club...dancers are there for money not to steal boyfriends you should know this.
    And if he paid 10-20 bucks for a dance...who cares. It's not a lot of money.

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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    Message to Pooky: If you ever get a lapdance from some random bitch at another club or if I find out you went to a strip club I will cut your dick off and shove it up your ass.

    I love you pooky, happy birthday
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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    ^^^ Didn't know it was his birthday! Tell him we said Happy Birthday!
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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    I agree with any girl who said he seems insecure and immature....

    He needs to understand this is YOUR job, if you two live together and he is wasting money that you need on rent or whatever, he needs to be talked.

    At the same part, he sounds very jealous.. "how many boners are you giving them" He shouldnt talk to you like this, nor tell you fuck off and all that. He seems like he was going do it out to get you in a way. I would break it off and have a damn serious conversation to him about it.. I dont thnk he'll change his opinion over the job though and it'll became more stressful.

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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    Personally by reading what the OP said, even though he may sound immature, to me it comes across that he's doing it as self defense because the OP was already mad at him for getting dances. In my opinion, the entire thing is immature.
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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    -----
    Last edited by Athenathefabulous; 02-25-2011 at 04:39 AM.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    It is just me and I'm not saying you did - or that it is wrong... but personally I would never date any guy who hangs out in strip clubs. Before or after I met him. As far as I can tell, every guy who I have ever met who hangs out in a strip club has some kind of serious defect. I know that sounds horrible of me to say but that is my experience. I am not up for any drama outside of the club. I get my fair share of drama inside of the club. I am single and not dating and I like it that way. Perhaps when I quit working at a strip club I will consider dating again. Until then all I want is less stress and a good night's sleep. And if I did have a boyfriend and he hung out at the club where I worked, I would be angry he was there, I mean is he there to get jealous or to waste my work time or to see the persona I have to use to make a living? Seriously screwed up in my opinion, but that is just my opinion. Feel free to have your own opinion .

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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    Jajajajajaja I keep mine in check. In all seriousness he has a pretty apathetic view of SC's. Unless he is picking me up or we are having a 3some he really doesn't like em. He is getting a little big for his britches. 6 months with a stripper and he claims to be "an expert" on strippers. Aw, que cute
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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    He hid it from you, got defensive when you brought it up, AND demeaned you for dancing. I put up with this for a couple of years. It never got better. Save yourself some tears and make your decision now. It's important to keep in mind that quitting stripping won't necessarily make him treat you better. Quitting him does not ensure that Mr. Perfect is waiting to jump out of the shadows to comfort you. Not many men are secure enough to have a healthy relationship with an exotic dancer. Don't sell yourself short and don't be afraid to relish the single life for awhile. You deserve to be treated well, and I promise it's worth waiting for.
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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    For me depends on circumstance...if he went alone or with a bunch of guys for a bachelor party. I would have a problem with him going alone and not telling me.

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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    Here's my deal with this type of touchy subject:
    I don't care if my boyfriend gets lapdances or even goes up on stage and makes it rain on other girls! I just want to know that he's going to the club and that's where he is disappearing to. I mean, I seriously am used to open relationships and my man being sexual with other women seeing as I was a swinger for awhile with my ex. I actually told my new man that it's totally ok if he wants to fuck another girl, just tell me ahead of time and tell me some things about her like her name and a little about her. That type of thing. He doesn't swing though, so he said he's not into that. *sad face* But with my ex, it was our code of swinger ettiquette that he tell me who he was fucking, where he was going, when & where he was meeting up with her, and if he wanted to go to the strip club, then just give me a heads up that he'd be late from work because he'd be over at St. James. What made ME pissed off was my ex got "full serviced" from this one stripper chick. It cost him $140 after he "negotiated", as he put it, (that made me wanna hurl) with this Luna chick. That could have been spent on a nice dinner or perhaps a peice of jewelry for our one month anniversary celebration we had. WTF.

    Seriously.

    I made him go get tested and everything. He became pissed because he turned it around and made it my fault, saying that "you and I are swingers! YOU are a stripper! What the hell does it matter? You know you do that shit at the club too!!" *I could have killed him right then and there....like grabbed the kitchen knife and it would've been on like Donkey Kong (lmfao)* I don't do that shit at work. WTF?!! I am not some dumb prostitute whore. We had a big fight about it.

    Honestly, drop the dude and walk away never looking back. He might have been a guy you've been with for awhile, but no woman, stripper or not, is supposed to be treated that way. That is wrong. Just plain wrong. Shows how insecure he is and how much he can't be trusted.
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    Thumbs up Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Jajajajajaja I keep mine in check. In all seriousness he has a pretty apathetic view of SC's. Unless he is picking me up or we are having a 3some he really doesn't like em. He is getting a little big for his britches. 6 months with a stripper and he claims to be "an expert" on strippers. Aw, que cute

    same here, my boyfriend doesn't like strip clubs unless he is with the guys doing the group thing. He doesn't like getting lapdances, he enjoys going up to the stage and making it rain. He likes watching the girl's face light up when dollars bills come floating down from the air. He's actually came to the club I work at and done that before with the girls. When he has a lot to spend, he plans on coming when I'm working and making it rain on my stripper friend Ayden (she's known as elijah on here) and I.

    That gave me the warm fuzzies. It's so sweet to know that my man is going to help indirectly pay for Ayden's college and indirectly pay for my bills! hahahahaha He is so cool. What can I say?
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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    I would have absolutely zero problem with my fiancee getting a lap dance. As long as it wasn't from an extras girl. But even then, I'm not really all that concerned cause I know he hates lap dances, and he's soooo not a cheater. He'd actually be one of those rare customers that would freak out and leave if the girl tried to touch his dick. And I agree that it's somewhat hypocritical for you to have an issue with him getting a lap dance.

    HOWEVER, I 100% agree with you that it's a major problem that he lied about going, and then tried to demean you about dancing when you found out. When guys know they got caught doing something wrong, their defense is usually to put YOU on the defensive. By attacking your chosen line of work, he's doing just that. Sounds like a scumbag move to me. And boy, do I know scumbags. I've dated enough of them. It's kind of funny, isn't it, that when you don't mention names, all their chosen insults and methods of demeaning you are all exactly the same, and it just ends up sounding like the same person?

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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    My husband been in my club and i forced him to get dances. i really do not care he is gettin dances from other girls unless blowin sirious money. I know he needs difference sometimes so he should get it.He doesnt spend my money to get lap dances, as soon as money is his money he is free to spend whatever he wants it.

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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    Fucker. He's got a stripper at home! Just to relieve some of those pebbles in your throat though the boyfriend of a girl I worked with came in to see her, but when it was her turn to go on stage he got a lapdance with another stripper. The asshole had no job so he used her money too making the situation worse! Anyway sweetheart, you deserve a man who truly appreciates you.

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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    I would have absolutely zero problem with my fiancee getting a lap dance. As long as it wasn't from an extras girl. But even then, I'm not really all that concerned cause I know he hates lap dances, and he's soooo not a cheater. He'd actually be one of those rare customers that would freak out and leave if the girl tried to touch his dick. And I agree that it's somewhat hypocritical for you to have an issue with him getting a lap dance.

    HOWEVER, I 100% agree with you that it's a major problem that he lied about going, and then tried to demean you about dancing when you found out. When guys know they got caught doing something wrong, their defense is usually to put YOU on the defensive. By attacking your chosen line of work, he's doing just that. Sounds like a scumbag move to me. And boy, do I know scumbags. I've dated enough of them. It's kind of funny, isn't it, that when you don't mention names, all their chosen insults and methods of demeaning you are all exactly the same, and it just ends up sounding like the same person?
    Agreed and agreed. I have no issues with my bf going to the strip club (in fact, he does fairly often - he knows a lot of people in the industry, and his friends are big fans!) and as a general rule, no problem if he wanted to get a ld. I would like to know that he was going ahead of time, but funny couple that we are, we tend to tell each other what we are up to, because we like to talk to each other! I would have issues with him getting an "extras" dance, because I would consider that cheating, and I would probably have an issue if he got a dance from a girl I knew personally and detested, because if I despise the girl, I don't want to give her any money!!
    We'd happily go together and get dances in a place that I didn't work - no problem!

    In general, it sounds like neither of you are feeling secure in the relationship - you feel lied to, he feels attacked...I would sit down together when you are calm and discuss why you reacted the way you did, and why he said the things he said. This should help clear things up. And if you can't sit and have a decent discussion with the man - leave him. Ain't never gonna work if you two can't talk!
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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    My boy works as a doorman and so frequents the SC nearest to his work after a shift to see the other doormen. He's never paid for dances (as most of the girls there know that the doorboys dont buy dances and therefore dont try to sell them, they are more likely to try and pull them ((Most of the dancers have screwed most of the doormen))

    I have also (apparently) ruined strip clubs for him as whenever he goes in he can only imagine me wandering round asking other men for dances and it freaks him out. He is more likely to screw the dancer than buy a dance from her.

    If it was me id be annoyed cause he lied about getting dances, i dont care about him going into SC's, girls come on to him everywhere, the last girl he cheated on me with was a stripper, id have probably been more annoyed if he'd got a dance off her and then taken her home than i would if he'd just taken her home (which is what he did) as he stoutly refuses to ever buy dances!

    Short and short of it (and im rambling here) is that if he lies to you once, he will lie again, dont trust him and dont take any shit from him.
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  35. #25
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    Default Re: Boyfriend going for lapdances??

    Hypocrisy is a bitch isn't it!!

    We make lapdances significant when we make a big deal about SOs having them. If you believe that he/she is going to crate a real connection by having a lapdance then how can you justify giving them whether partnered or not!

    My husband has dances, his choice of girl and I point out the superhotties to him. I keep an eye out to make sure he doesn't get fleeced otherwise I mind my own beeswax.

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    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    By VerucaSlut in forum Customer Conversation
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    Last Post: 11-01-2004, 09:27 PM

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