Hey everyone!
I'm BRAND new to the site, so I suppose I should just give a little bit of an intro. I've been reading threads on the website for months and I think so many of you are so insightful, intelligent, and amazing women with really helpful things to say. I also have to say I've had my fair share of laughs from really funny posts on the site.
That being said, I'm a 23 year old girl, spent most of my life dancing, mostly ballet, jazz, hip hop...and dancing is what I LOVE. It was one of my majors in college (double-majored in dance and comm). However, I'm also a total Charlotte (SATC), super shy, and had NEVER in my life considered stripping before until I started to feel some pressure from my boyfriend of 3 years.
Now, before I give the wrong impression of him, he's an AMAZING man who I know really loves me and has my best interests at heart. He spoils me like crazy, takes good care of me, and is practically perfect in most ways. Despite this, I find myself being jealous a lot because I know he supports stripper "friends" and he talks to lots of strippers and I almost feel like he respects them more than he respects me. He's always texting them and giving them money and it drives me crazy. I mean, I have a perfectly respectable job, I think...I'm a program assistant for a really prominent company...it's a great job for a girl just out of college with awesome benefits and growth opportunities! Nonetheless, I feel inferior in his eyes and like maybe I should try my hand in the world of stripping.
Sometimes, the idea thrills and excites me, and other times, it totally terrifies me. I have to constantly second guess myself and ask myself if I'd be doing it for my boyfriend or to satisfy my own curiosity. Usually, I gravitate toward the former. Don't get me wrong, I COMPLETELY respect and admire dancers and think they're incredible, strong, and independent women for doing what they do. I just don't know if I'm cut out to be a stripper myself. Every time I think about it, I just imagine myself freezing up on stage, freaking out, and running off and then crying in the dressing room because I'm so embarrassed. I freak out about how my dancing isn't sexy enough and I'm not sexy enough. And it isn't like I'm really ashamed of my body or anything, either. I actually think I'm relatively pretty. I don't know what it is. All I know is I feel like my boyfriend would love me more if I stripped, and I think maybe it would help me feel like a more independent, strong woman.
What do you guys think? Am I crazy?? Am I worrying way too much about what my boyfriend thinks of me? Should I be concerned about our relationship if I'm even wondering about this at all? Should I go for it and see what happens? I'd really love it if any of you could give me any advice at all. Thank you so much for reading!!
xoxo,
Ally




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