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Thread: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

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    Default Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Hey everyone!

    I'm BRAND new to the site, so I suppose I should just give a little bit of an intro. I've been reading threads on the website for months and I think so many of you are so insightful, intelligent, and amazing women with really helpful things to say. I also have to say I've had my fair share of laughs from really funny posts on the site.

    That being said, I'm a 23 year old girl, spent most of my life dancing, mostly ballet, jazz, hip hop...and dancing is what I LOVE. It was one of my majors in college (double-majored in dance and comm). However, I'm also a total Charlotte (SATC), super shy, and had NEVER in my life considered stripping before until I started to feel some pressure from my boyfriend of 3 years.

    Now, before I give the wrong impression of him, he's an AMAZING man who I know really loves me and has my best interests at heart. He spoils me like crazy, takes good care of me, and is practically perfect in most ways. Despite this, I find myself being jealous a lot because I know he supports stripper "friends" and he talks to lots of strippers and I almost feel like he respects them more than he respects me. He's always texting them and giving them money and it drives me crazy. I mean, I have a perfectly respectable job, I think...I'm a program assistant for a really prominent company...it's a great job for a girl just out of college with awesome benefits and growth opportunities! Nonetheless, I feel inferior in his eyes and like maybe I should try my hand in the world of stripping.

    Sometimes, the idea thrills and excites me, and other times, it totally terrifies me. I have to constantly second guess myself and ask myself if I'd be doing it for my boyfriend or to satisfy my own curiosity. Usually, I gravitate toward the former. Don't get me wrong, I COMPLETELY respect and admire dancers and think they're incredible, strong, and independent women for doing what they do. I just don't know if I'm cut out to be a stripper myself. Every time I think about it, I just imagine myself freezing up on stage, freaking out, and running off and then crying in the dressing room because I'm so embarrassed. I freak out about how my dancing isn't sexy enough and I'm not sexy enough. And it isn't like I'm really ashamed of my body or anything, either. I actually think I'm relatively pretty. I don't know what it is. All I know is I feel like my boyfriend would love me more if I stripped, and I think maybe it would help me feel like a more independent, strong woman.

    What do you guys think? Am I crazy?? Am I worrying way too much about what my boyfriend thinks of me? Should I be concerned about our relationship if I'm even wondering about this at all? Should I go for it and see what happens? I'd really love it if any of you could give me any advice at all. Thank you so much for reading!!

    xoxo,
    Ally

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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Sounds like you are doing awesome for yourself!

    This guy needs to go! I'm sure he is sweet to you, but...... HE IS GIVING MONEY TO OTHER GIRLS!

    Now I am a stripper and have been full-time for 7 years. I of course love customers like your boyfriend. But he makes BAD financial decisions and BAD relationship decisions.

    If he is more like a sugar daddy to you, then fine. But, do not strip because he is making you think it is cool. He is what we call here on Stripperweb, and "PL," or "pathetic loser." LOL

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    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Don't ever make huge decisions in your life because your boyfriend, or anyone else, thinks you should, and let them influence you. Just as you shouldn't START dancing because your boyfriend wants you too, I don't like it when boyfriends try to influence their gfs NOT to dance also.

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    I don't think I could be with someone who made me feel inferior to ANYONE. Have you even talked to your boyfriend about this, like has he explicitly said "I wish you were a stripper" or "I would love you more if you were a stripper" or anything along those lines? Because there's a very different dynamic between a girlfriend and boyfriend (much more loving, generally) and stripper and customer (she's selling him fantasy/tease), and just because he likes strippers, doesn't mean he'd like you being one, yanno? BUT, I don't think an SO should be the reason you do or do not strip. If it's something you want to try, by all means, go for it, but if the only reason you're doing it is to get more attention/love from him, I think you may be in for a nasty surprise. Sounds like your relationship has bigger problems than you not being a stripper.

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    You are probably sexy enough as long as you're fairly fit. I would only dance if You want to. It's a hard job after the initial thrill wears off and it's not great money every shift. Slow nights are awful.

    How about a pole fitness class or home stripper pole?

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    Newbie AlessandraChristina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    I don't think I could be with someone who made me feel inferior to ANYONE. Have you even talked to your boyfriend about this, like has he explicitly said "I wish you were a stripper" or "I would love you more if you were a stripper" or anything along those lines? Because there's a very different dynamic between a girlfriend and boyfriend (much more loving, generally) and stripper and customer (she's selling him fantasy/tease), and just because he likes strippers, doesn't mean he'd like you being one, yanno? BUT, I don't think an SO should be the reason you do or do not strip. If it's something you want to try, by all means, go for it, but if the only reason you're doing it is to get more attention/love from him, I think you may be in for a nasty surprise. Sounds like your relationship has bigger problems than you not being a stripper.
    We've talked about the whole situation. He's never explicitly said anything like the examples you gave, but I just have this annoying nagging feeling that he sees me as "not good enough" because I haven't had to struggle as so many strippers have had to (i.e. he'll pay for health procedures and stuff like that for strippers). I also know that he would only want me to do it if I really wanted to, but I think he really wants me to want to do it lol, if that makes any sense... He just seems to put strippers on this pedestal and no matter what I do, I feel like I don't make the grade, even if I'm just being paranoid and that isn't really the case...I don't know...

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Don't start stripping because of a penis. Do it because you want to. And so what if you make an ass of yourself? You're a newb, it's expected and you'll be forgiven. Whether you decide to strip or not, get up off your ass if you fall pick yourself up and move on.

    If my man was giving money to other bitches I would cut his dick off. I suggest you put that motherfucker in check.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Okay so let me ask another question...if your boyfriend was giving money to other women, supposedly just because he felt he could help them out and felt he had to, how would that make you feel? Especially when you're struggling with your own health bills and rent/etc.??? Is that a deal breaker for you?

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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Yeah family and close friends don't count.... hell if he didn't take care of his own I'd be pissed too. but giving money to random strippers to grind on his cock, maybe more depending on their tastes/ and or morals. oh hell fucking no.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Yeah, it's not cool of him to give money to other women, especially if you're struggling with your own bills. To be honest, it sounds like you have him on a pedestal, and he doesn't deserve it. You might really love stripping -- I bet you would be great, if you're pretty and you dance -- but it might not make your boyfriend love you more/care about you more/give you more attention. Whether you strip or not, you should look into your relationship in more depth and have a good long talk with your boyfriend to see why he is giving other women the attention that you want.

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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    I definitely don't think you should start dancing because of your boyfriend. Watching you try to justify his behavior is a little depressing for me, because it reminds me of how I was with some of my exes...I would try to make excuses for them, but I always knew what they were doing wasn't okay.

    If you weren't with him--if you'd never started dating, or if you two broke up and you knew for a fact that you would never see or hear from him again--would you still think about stripping?

    If the answer is yes, and you're still super nervous, go try an amateur night. If you're nervous about what to do, go to a strip club and just watch what the girls do.

    One fantastic thing about this job is that it gives you so much confidence. It's incredibly empowering if you go into it with the right attitude. I'm not just talking confidence about your body and your looks, either; it made me much more confident about saying "no" to people, and much less tolerant of bullshit.

    And you will definitely be nervous your first time on stage. There's not really any way to go around it. The first time I was ever on stage, I'm surprised I didn't fall, my legs were shaking so badly. Hell, whenever I would take a week off, I'd still be a little nervous my first stage set back at work. I'm going to start up in the next month after have been on hiatus since April, and even the thought of it makes the butterflies start kicking around in my stomach. But it's just like any other performance--soon the nervousness will fade, and you'll RELAX, and enjoy yourself. And Tempest666 is right: you're a newbie, NO ONE will expect you to be perfect. There's a learning curve.

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    Veteran Member MissMynxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Ok. I have nothing really HELPFUL to say but I might make you feel a little better.

    You want to talk about boyfriends and "wrong reasons" to start dancing? At the beginning of my last serious relationship, before AJ and I got together, my ex and I laid out "deal breakers". (His idea.) Mine was that I would leave him if he ever went back to active duty in the Air Force. He was developing multiple health problems that later (after he and I broke up) became VERY serious and lead to him, at the ripe old age of 26, to have a defibrillator and pacemaker permanently implanted to keep his heart running. He's STILL trying to figure out a way to be in the military. I couldn't handle that kind of stress.

    His? And I quote, "If you ever became a stripper, I'd have to leave you. I don't date fuckin' whores."

    Well, the relationship went downhill about 18 months in, and he was just not getting the point. Wouldn't take "Fuck you, we're OVER get OUT OF MY HOUSE!" as an answer ... so I went down to a local club with a friend and got a job. His ass was out in less than 90 days.

    My reasons were opposite yours. You and I are similar though - both have dancing in our blood! (Ballerina for 17 years - competitive, performance, and a teacher!) Luckily, stripping is my PERFECT career. It worked out for me, and it lead me to my wonderful fiance. The lesson I learned is to do things for YOURSELF - not because of anything or anyone else. I don't lie about my job, I don't lie about who I am. I'm honest with everyone - it lost me some friends and my mother (but that's beside the point - she and I had problems WAAAAAAY before then. lol) but I have no regrets.

    If you decide this is something you want to do for YOU - you'll find all the support you need here. But, think carefully. This industry can chew you up and spit you out a hot mess of a creature faster than Nashville or Hollywood ever could. It has to be what YOU want, or it won't work out.

    Best of luck to you!
    "The mood is important. You can't get a lady with force.
    ...sweet things alone are not enough. Seduce me with more fire."

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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    how do you even know its their health bills is all hes paying for?
    do you know what kind of club he goes to? those 'health bills' could be $20 blowjobs at the back.
    to me this whole situation sounds ridiculous. i would never let a man whore me out, who knows if you can depend on him if you find yourself in somesort of trouble because of that
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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    No one deserves to have someone make them feel like they are less than anyone else.

    On the money issue, I can't answer that fully for you. If he earns it though, & his bills or portion of bills are paid, I generally feel its his right to spend it as he pleases. If he chooses to help you out at all, you should be grateful, but not expect more. A person who bestows a gift that the receiver is ungrateful for has every right to give it to someone who is grateful & shows appreciation.

    If he is helping you out, but also making you feel inferior, then you are both wrong & need to work on your relationship. Maybe what you should do is tell him you could really use the money, then do some lap dances for him at home for $20 (or whatever the clubs charge).

    Otherwise, I'd suggest burlesque to you... it's more theatrical so you'll appreciate it. Plus, its less likely to ruin how you feel about your day job. It's hard to stay at a day job when you know how much & how fast you can earn in the clubs...
    Last edited by Kylea2; 12-28-2010 at 04:53 AM.
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    No one deserves to have someone make them feel like they are less than anyone else.

    On the money issue, I can't answer that fully for you. If he earns it though, & his bills or portion of bills are paid, I generally feel its his right to spend it as he pleases. If her chooses to help you out at all, you should be grateful, but not expect more. A person who bestows a gift that the receiver is ungrateful for has every right to give it to someone who is grateful & shows appreciation.

    If he is helping you out, but also making you feel inferior, then you are both wrong & need to work on your relationship. Maybe what you should do is tell him you could really use the money, then do some lap dances for him at home for $20 (or whatever the clubs charge).

    Otherwise, I'd suggest burlesque to you... it's more theatrical so you'll appreciate it. Plus, its less likely to ruin how you feel about your day job. It's hard to stay at a day job when you know how much & how fast you can earn in the clubs...
    I really appreciate your advice about maybe trying to get him to pay me to do some of the things that strippers do in clubs. I also appreciate the suggestion of doing burlesque, which has always intrigued me. I have no idea if I'd be any good at it, but it definitely seems appealing. I'll have to look into that...

    Thanks for your advice

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    Newbie AlessandraChristina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    I mean, I can never say I know for a FACT that my boyfriend's spending this kind of money on other women on deeds of good faith to other strippers or whatever, but I really trust him and I believe he's telling me the truth when he says he's helping out a woman who has children she can't afford to care for or something...he only goes to really, really high-end clubs and actually befriends the women there instead of being totally disillusioned and thinking they'll fall in love with him or whatever. I think the way he sees it all is that maybe he's helping out a friend or something...which I still REALLY don't like.

    And I know he would never, ever want me to feel like he was "whoring me out"...I know that isn't the real issue here. But honestly, and no offense to any strippers, WHY did he choose to make his involvement with charity ONLY toward strippers? Why couldn't he help out children through a different, REAL organization? Why be biased toward strippers? That's where the inferiority complex kind of comes in...like strippers are the only people in the world who deserve compassion and help in his eyes. I'm his own f*cking girlfriend and, as much as he really can make me feel like I'm the world to him, I'm still so confused about the whole stripper fixation.

    And to answer firemaiden04, I don't know if I would consider stripping without him having first planted the idea in my head. I mean, maybe... and regardless, now that it is in my head, am I curious about it? Definitely. But I honestly don't know if I'm cut out for the job...I don't know if I could handle the sleazeball guys day in and day out, if my schedule could allow for it, if I'm really comfortable enough in my own skin to do it, if I can detach myself emotionally enough from the job, etc. etc. etc. However, I could REALLY use the confidence-building experience...

    But aren't there alternatives to that, too? (Besides some hokey retreat out in the wilderness where we focus on our "inner selves" or whatever)

    SO FRUSTRATED.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Interestingly enough, he may totally balk at the idea of you stripping. I'd be guessing it's something he enjoys in other women, not in you. I'm referring vaguely here to the whole virgin/whore dichotomy n' all that...guess which one you are in his mind.

    I'd agree with some of my fellow SWers in that this guy sounds like bad news. I understand that he's good to you, that we only 'see' the one problem you've presented instead of his personality as a whole, etc etc. But this seems like kind of a big problem to me. He should not be giving strippers money.

    I'm assuming you mean that he's giving them money outside of the club, right? This is not good at all. It might not seem like a huge deal, but when you think of his actions as evidence of underlying personality traits, it's kind of a huge deal.

    I say you should drop him and focus on the amazing career it sounds like you have. Stripping does not sound right for your situation. And neither does your significant other.

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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by AlessandraChristina View Post
    I mean, I can never say I know for a FACT that my boyfriend's spending this kind of money on other women on deeds of good faith to other strippers or whatever, but I really trust him and I believe he's telling me the truth when he says he's helping out a woman who has children she can't afford to care for or something...he only goes to really, really high-end clubs and actually befriends the women there instead of being totally disillusioned and thinking they'll fall in love with him or whatever. I think the way he sees it all is that maybe he's helping out a friend or something...which I still REALLY don't like.

    And I know he would never, ever want me to feel like he was "whoring me out"...I know that isn't the real issue here. But honestly, and no offense to any strippers, WHY did he choose to make his involvement with charity ONLY toward strippers? Why couldn't he help out children through a different, REAL organization? Why be biased toward strippers? That's where the inferiority complex kind of comes in...like strippers are the only people in the world who deserve compassion and help in his eyes. I'm his own f*cking girlfriend and, as much as he really can make me feel like I'm the world to him, I'm still so confused about the whole stripper fixation.

    And to answer firemaiden04, I don't know if I would consider stripping without him having first planted the idea in my head. I mean, maybe... and regardless, now that it is in my head, am I curious about it? Definitely. But I honestly don't know if I'm cut out for the job...I don't know if I could handle the sleazeball guys day in and day out, if my schedule could allow for it, if I'm really comfortable enough in my own skin to do it, if I can detach myself emotionally enough from the job, etc. etc. etc. However, I could REALLY use the confidence-building experience...

    But aren't there alternatives to that, too? (Besides some hokey retreat out in the wilderness where we focus on our "inner selves" or whatever)

    SO FRUSTRATED.
    First of all, it may be totally possible that he actually believes he's truly helping these dancers out with their serious financial worries, but the more you talk about his spending habits, the more it sounds like he's being taken advantage of. Lots of strippers have what I call the "pity hustle." Rather than trying to make their money up-front and honestly, i.e., "I give you a dance, you tip me, and that's it," some will have this tragic little story they use to make money off of sympathetic customers. I remember one girl who used to tell customers she had three kids and two of them had leukemia, so she was dancing to pay for their treatments. Actually, she had no kids, but her and her boyfriend had a nasty heroin habit that she paid for. One girl used to tell customers how her boyfriend beat her and she was trying to save up enough money to run away from him. I knew her boyfriend personally, and he did nothing of the sort; she would go home to him every night and they would laugh about it. Lots of stories are a little more low-key; they're "dancing their way through college," but are actually NOT in school, haven't ever been in school, and have no intention of going in the future.

    To a certain extent, I think lying is just a part of this industry, but you have to choose how far you're willing to go with the lie. I never really made up a lot of stuff...I had no problem telling customers generic stuff about me, like where I grew up and what I'm studying in school. But some girls find it exhilarating to make up stories. At a strip club, you can really and truly be WHOEVER you want. You don't just have a fake name, you can imagine anything about yourself and make it into a fantasy that customers buy into. I personally find it difficult to keep the lies straight, and I'm pretty fucking lazy, so I just choose to tell the truth most of the time; but some girls love changing their whole persona from customer to customer. It's like being an actress. And when it gets out that a specific customer is easy to get money off of, especially when all it involves is a simple sob story and no actual dancing, he will become one of the most popular customers in the club. I'd be somewhat surprised if your boyfriend wasn't being taken for a ride by the majority of his stripper "friends." A lot of girls will see customers OTC; they'll meet up with him for a meal (that he'll pay for) and go on a shopping spree (that he'll pay for), and they just keep up the persona they use in the club. He may think he's a friend, not just a customer, but if he's giving them money for ANY reason, he's just a custie, and nothing more.

    I've known customers who have started to wise up to the "pity hustle." One guy I knew was very taken with a very pretty dancer, who was married with two kids. She told the customer that they lived in a trailer and she needed to fill the oil tank, and she had no money for it, and it was winter and they would have no heat, etc. It would cost about $900 to fill the tank up. The customer said he would pay for it, but only directly: i.e., he wanted to call the oil company and pay over the phone for it, or he would get a certified check made out to the oil company and give it to her, so he would know that was exactly what his money was going towards. Of course, she stalled for a week or two, then totally disappeared from the club and never came back. In reality, she did NOT live in a trailer, and she had more cash than she knew what to do with.

    Anyways, one word of advice: if you wouldn't be comfortable stripping, then you shouldn't do it. Lots of girls who aren't comfortable dancing but do it anyways start to form toxic habits to numb themselves to the experience, like alcohol and drug use. And I wouldn't worry so much about the "sleazeball guys" you'd be dancing for...you can pick and choose your customers, and you do NOT need to be attracted to a guy in order to dance for him. Dear god no. It's just business. I could be dancing on top of Johnny Depp and I'd be thinking about my History paper due next week, or the laundry I need to do when I get home. Depending on where you live and what the clubs are like, you can have zero contact. The customers aren't allowed to touch you. Period. You set your own boundaries and you enforce them, and the bouncers are there to back you up.

    While this job can give you a LOT of confidence when it comes to your body, I think that, to a certain extent, you really need to be a bit of an exhibitionist to be a stripper. If you are genuinely, sincerely NOT okay with guys seeing you naked or partially naked, then you probably shouldn't do this. You shouldn't have to "emotionally detach" to dance.

    But hey, like I said, you probably won't know until you try it. Try going to a couple of clubs by yourself and just observe. Go to a club away from your hometown and do an amateur night. And DON'T DRINK before you do it; like I said, that is very habit-forming. It's perfectly natural to be nervous your first time.

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  30. #19
    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    ^ Wow, I just realized how long that was. I guess I was on a roll, lol.

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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    At first glance, the OP's SO (mmm, internet jargon...) sounds like a very specific species of club regular. The kind who is always texting the girls, driving them to-and-from work, and may even be getting some from them on the sidelines. The guy who imagines himself as a Very Serious part of the strippers' lives.

    We all know customers like this. They often don't even realize they're being used. They choose to ignore the fact that these (often irresponsible) strippers have somehow made it this far in life despite their coke/alcohol/abusive boyfriend habits, and see themselves as White Knights. As the strippers laugh the whole way to the bank. It's usually a parasitic relationship, except one in which the host is willingly offering himself. ::shudders::

  32. #21
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    ^ I was going to say to the OP... get rid of this guy... he is the type we feed off of and one day some stripper that actually has brains will bleed him dry and shatter your life. I do feel for the gfs and wives of SC junkies, but I cant think about it for too long because the junkies put food on my table and $100s in my prada. I would hate to be the woman on the other side though. So devils advocate here... maybe if you cant beat em, join him. Lose him and become a stripper anyway and you dont need a man, you can comfort yourself with all your money

  33. #22
    God/dess ManyRoses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    I have to agree with many of the girls here - this guy sounds like he's not right for you. I think that a lot of people focus on the fact that relationships take work, and forget that this is only if the relationship is a good one!! Your relationship should make you feel happy, confident and secure with your partner. If it doesn't, you need to find yourself one that does. If you described yourself as a Charlotte, remember her quote in reply to a question if she was happy in her relationship, and she says "every day. Not all day every day, but every day".

    Bear in mind as well that stripping is a career - like others, it takes dedication to your body, your performance, your sales patter, everything. You usually can't leap in and start making big bucks. The first few months of stripping can be really hard. Taking it on as a second job can also impact the time and effort you have to put in to your "real" job - if you are working late and drinking champagne every night, going to the 9-5 can be difficult...and you don't want an experiment as a stripper to negatively affect your career prospects.

    My advice would be to have some serious conversations with your boyfriend about his brhaviour. And maybe try burlesque or take pole dancing lessons, as well as swing by your local club to get a feel of it - tip the stage girls, get a dance or two, and then re-evaluate your feelings.
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  35. #23
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    Thanks SOOOOO much for all of your advice, everyone!!!

    Update: I actually went with him for the second time to a strip club the other night, the only one he goes to in our area. It's a really nice, high-end place, and the girls are actually really nice and don't just look at us with dollar signs in their eyes. (Not saying that any of you do either, just stating it for the record.) The first time we went, I went basically insane with jealousy that allllll these girls were paying SOOO much attention to him and, even though they were paying tons of attention to me too because they were genuinely interested in who my boyfriend was dating, I ended up having way too much to drink and was just NO FUN that night and I was totally pissed off in the corner, basically. This time, though, I just tried to open myself up to the whole experience and let happen what would let happen.

    As usual, the girls who knew him were extremely nice to me and actually paid a lot more attention to me than to him. Maybe it was because they just knew he would take good care of them (money-wise) anyway, and they could just focus on their curiosity about me or whatever. Who knows. Once again, I had WAY too much to drink, but my boyfriend recapped the night for me and explained how I'd really hit it off with "the girls" and whatnot. I'm happy about that, and I'm happy that it was pretty much a positive experience for both of us. I didn't get jealous, I didn't worry about girls flirting with him -- it was all basically, well, okay.

    I saw the way he interacted with these women and I know he doesn't have any disillusions about his "relationships" or where he stands with any of them. He's a customer...period. He's aware. And I honestly had a lot of fun.

    Should I try just going with the flow for a while? I mean, yes, do I wish his idea of charity was a little different? Yes. But should I maybe loosen up a bit and try to see everything for what it really is? Maybe I've got him pegged wrong in terms of being such an asshole who doesn't care about my feelings. At the same time, I can hear myself saying that and hear how self-compromising it comes across as. What do you guys think??

    xoxo,
    Ally

  36. #24
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    P.S. Just to be clear: I'm not ready to start stripping or anything. But I'm wondering if I should be more receptive to the way my boyfriend interacts with strippers. It's not like he isn't letting me into this sector of his life and closing me out of it. He wants me to see everything for what it is and understand that he loves me and that these women are just friends and he gets that he's nothing more than a customer who happens to be very nice and gentlemanly toward them.

  37. #25
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    Default Re: Wrong Reasons to Start Stripping?

    ^ The fact that he's being honest and open with you about this, AND wants to share the experiences with you, are all great signs. How much money does he spend on these women? Can he afford it? How much contact does he have with them outside of the club? Does he give them money outside of the club?

    I commend you for being able to enjoy the SC experience with him--I don't even know if I could do that!

    His honesty is definitely not something you want to shut down. As long as he's being open with you, and you don't feel like he's doing anything sketchy, then go with your gut!

    That's always the best advice. Go with your gut.

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