I was literally seeing red.. I threw a step-ladder.. a bunch of bags and glass bottles.. If I saw my sister last night I would of bashed her skull in and take back the ring she stole from me.. Lucky enough she didn't step out of her room.. None of them broke/murdered but still I haven't lost my temper in years... I have a few rants once in a while but wanting to really cause damage is a blue moon for me.. I guess its cause I'm the good "black sheep" girl and I don't even try to argue with my family... I don't drink, don't do drugs, don't smoke, and don't cheat... I don't even try, its just normal for me not wanting to do those things.. I think its mostly stress and anger from the parents and the family.. and the sister.. I was marked as the bad child at birth and treated like it with no relief even when I did nothing wrong.. The sister is a multiple drug addict/cheating/stealing/underage alcoholic.. and never got punished for anything she did.. they always say "She has a addicting behavior." and leave it at that. I'm always getting picked for my weight (they use to control it by adding cal tabs to my food to keep my weight up before I moved out) and my clothes.. Just cause I don't want to wear the hottest fashion, doesn't mean they need to waste money on my sister when all she will do is trade it for coke..
Before my whole childhood flows onto this page and my so called paranoid thoughts cross. I just need it off my chest cause I have no one to talk to..It seems since I am naturally nice something must be wrong with me.. I really need to get away from these people.. and out of this state..



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