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Thread: I lost it last night... Rant.. and feeling bad about it..

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Skull I lost it last night... Rant.. and feeling bad about it..

    I was literally seeing red.. I threw a step-ladder.. a bunch of bags and glass bottles.. If I saw my sister last night I would of bashed her skull in and take back the ring she stole from me.. Lucky enough she didn't step out of her room.. None of them broke/murdered but still I haven't lost my temper in years... I have a few rants once in a while but wanting to really cause damage is a blue moon for me.. I guess its cause I'm the good "black sheep" girl and I don't even try to argue with my family... I don't drink, don't do drugs, don't smoke, and don't cheat... I don't even try, its just normal for me not wanting to do those things.. I think its mostly stress and anger from the parents and the family.. and the sister.. I was marked as the bad child at birth and treated like it with no relief even when I did nothing wrong.. The sister is a multiple drug addict/cheating/stealing/underage alcoholic.. and never got punished for anything she did.. they always say "She has a addicting behavior." and leave it at that. I'm always getting picked for my weight (they use to control it by adding cal tabs to my food to keep my weight up before I moved out) and my clothes.. Just cause I don't want to wear the hottest fashion, doesn't mean they need to waste money on my sister when all she will do is trade it for coke..

    Before my whole childhood flows onto this page and my so called paranoid thoughts cross. I just need it off my chest cause I have no one to talk to..It seems since I am naturally nice something must be wrong with me.. I really need to get away from these people.. and out of this state..

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    Default Re: I lost it last night... Rant.. and feeling bad about it..

    Very interesting... I want to keep reading.

    Your parents must think you are very bright and have a lot of potential -- but, they come across to you as overly judgment and critical.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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    Default Re: I lost it last night... Rant.. and feeling bad about it..

    Yeah, that sucks, I'm sorry.
    I was the black sheep too, and also the drug addict. I feel so bad now for taking money and energy from my parents when I was young. It's like I was a different person.
    Good for you for being responsible, I'm sure they recognize that. Your sister will just get herself into trouble eventually, being spoiled is really bad for people's character ... it's a curse not a blessing. Like all the trust fund kids I know are fucking irresponsible and fucked up all the time. And the people who've had to work are great great people.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: I lost it last night... Rant.. and feeling bad about it..

    I totally hear this. What gets me about parents is that if you point out their inconsistent parenting skills they'll always say something like:

    "Well, we didn't need to do that with you because you always took care of yourself."


    Well no s*** Sherlock... that's because I was FORCED to. Some people forget that just because their children are good doesn't mean that those children don't still need to see an equal amount of affection.



    Do move! Try living someplace where you have a few friends. Being out of the grasp of people who raise your stress levels can be a HUGE relief. I can't even tell you enough how much it helped me when I first moved. Family will still get to you a bit by telephone, but nothing compared to having them involved in your life on a regular basis.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: I lost it last night... Rant.. and feeling bad about it..

    My family don't even know my number and if they ever find out I wouldn't answer it cause I let all un-named number go to inbox. I have no friends that I can go to..

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: I lost it last night... Rant.. and feeling bad about it..

    ^^^ Sounds like its time to get out & meet some friends then! Have you checked to see if there are any other SWers in your area? Check Craigslist too, I met two nice girls through there. Look at dance classes, hobby clubs, volunteering etc.
    Don't you ever sleep?
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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: I lost it last night... Rant.. and feeling bad about it..

    Volunteering at the animal shelters is my number one activity to do tomeet likeminded people.

    Where do you live?

    I've reached out to strippers on the net before and one is my best phone buddy ever. We talk and rant
    And ask for advice to each other several times a week. Never be afraid of asking a person,hey- do you want to be my friend?

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: I lost it last night... Rant.. and feeling bad about it..

    I tried that.. The closes animal shelter is a hour drive from where I live, two hour round trip.. lots of gas money..

    I look up in the member list, not many listed in iowa and active. I looked thru the threads and groups.

    I'll start looking again when this year is over..

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: I lost it last night... Rant.. and feeling bad about it..

    Hmmmm.....maybe a crafting website?

    Your friends don't necessarily have to be in the same city, though that's nice when you can find it. I've never met the girl I consider one of my best friends. She's all the way up in bumfuck near the Canadian border, but we chat and text and email all the time. So, look for people on this board or others who you admire or think are really funny or wise, or who you'd have a lot in common with in a good way, and just start trying to chat them up and forge connections that will possibly, in time, become a friendship

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