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Thread: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

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    Default Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    He really wanted it and I told him maybe for Xmas. Xmas came and he had his chance and he didn't do it.

    Now I wasn't really interested in it, so I don't really care. But I am wondering why he didn't take his chance. What reasons would a guy have to back out when he has a green light?

    I'm kinda feeling self concious now.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Maybe he sensed your lack of enthusiasm. For me, that would kill the desire.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by hockeybobby View Post
    Maybe he sensed your lack of enthusiasm. For me, that would kill the desire.
    This.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Maybe thats it. I asked him why he didn't get his present and he said I should be more relaxed. I wasn't sure what that meant.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilmisssunshine View Post
    Maybe thats it. I asked him why he didn't get his present and he said I should be more relaxed. I wasn't sure what that meant.
    You have to be extremely relaxed for anal sex, otherwise it's just not going to work.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Wow I kinda feel like a bitch now.

    We had a spat the night before. Not really a spat, but he got mad and said some things when he was drunk. I kinda laughed it off and said I would call him in the morning when he was sober.

    He said the reason he said those things when he was drunk was cuz I pissed him off. I was being sarcastic and didn't think he would take what I said personally, but now I see I shouldn't have been a sarcastic bitch. On top of that I told him he needed to keep it cool around his friend (my ex) because his friend didn't need to know about our relationship/fb fling.

    Then the unenthusiastic anal sex thing.

    I suppose I have made him feel bad.

    How do I make it right?

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Yes, I know I have to be relaxed, and I wasn't. But he didn't even have lube.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Maybe he's not really into it. My boyfriend isn't. "There might be poop in there!" lol. You're focusing on anal sex when it might not even be the real issue here though, right? Do you like/love him? I would cook him something fancy and have some good wine and talk about it then. **note** I don't think women should always cook, or anything ... my boyfriend cooks for me way more often than I cook for him ... it's just what I would do because everyone likes to be pampered and it will put him at ease then you can talk.
    Recomendations for dinner:
    *seared Ahi salad (white wine), seared steak salad (white or red), chicken salad (white)
    veggie-tarian? spring rolls ... veggie sushi ...
    just what I would do.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    **note**
    I love to do this for my friends too, it's a great way to feel nice together.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    He definitely wanted anal. He had been asking and asking.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    I know a few guys that don't do anal sex because to them it seems "gay". Like only gay men do anal... Narrow mindedness.. oy..

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilmisssunshine View Post
    Wow I kinda feel like a bitch now.

    We had a spat the night before. Not really a spat, but he got mad and said some things when he was drunk. I kinda laughed it off and said I would call him in the morning when he was sober.

    He said the reason he said those things when he was drunk was cuz I pissed him off. I was being sarcastic and didn't think he would take what I said personally, but now I see I shouldn't have been a sarcastic bitch. On top of that I told him he needed to keep it cool around his friend (my ex) because his friend didn't need to know about our relationship/fb fling.

    Then the unenthusiastic anal sex thing.

    I suppose I have made him feel bad.

    How do I make it right?
    Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong... he got drunk and insulted you.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilmisssunshine View Post
    Yes, I know I have to be relaxed, and I wasn't. But he didn't even have lube.
    If you are sure you want to go through with this for him (christmas present or whatever), then you should pick yourself up a small bottle of lube and have it handy for the next time you two are intimate.
    Hopefully he has his shit together enough to get you in the mood and relaxed enough first. Is he experienced with anal sex? It doesn't sound like it.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Well I was irritated because I felt like he was ignoring me. So I told him I was demoting him from booty call number one to booty call five. It was a joke. I guess he didn't find my sarcasm funny. He was drunk and went off on me.

    You are right Trem. I didn't really do anything. I was gonna apologize for my sarcasm. Perhaps I should just leave it alone and forget about it.

    I am overthinking it.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    I asked him hockeybobby if he has done it before. He said a few times.

    I am starting to wonder if a few times means never or pretty much once or twice when he was drunk out of his mind and can barely remember.

    I would rather just do a bj. I offered the bj option, but he picked anal.

    I actually like bj's.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilmisssunshine View Post
    Well I was irritated because I felt like he was ignoring me. So I told him I was demoting him from booty call number one to booty call five. It was a joke. I guess he didn't find my sarcasm funny. He was drunk and went off on me.

    You are right Trem. I didn't really do anything. I was gonna apologize for my sarcasm. Perhaps I should just leave it alone and forget about it.

    I am overthinking it.
    You made a joke and he goes off on you? no honey this is the kinda shit you should expect HIM to apologize for.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    It doesnt seem like you did anything wrong.. And Im sorry for sounding rude here.. But what an idiot for not having lube. You were the one who said OK to anal.. at least he could have thought about it some more and treated you nicely and without the exp of pain!

    I think it was wrong for him to go off at you. If you didnt feel comfortable doing it, that isnt your fault and he needs to understand your concerns of how you felt ignored by him before actions (like anal) is taken.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    You are right...I texted him that and he claims he cannot hear the sarcasm in a text, but could anyone think I was being serious? Like I actually have a list of booty call rankings?

    Well I kinda do...

    He shouldn't have gone off on me anyway.

    The big problem in this picture is that he goes out all the time with my ex and they party and get balls to the walls drunk all the time. I start to feel unimportant and ignored.

    I was sick of my ex out partying all the time, and I think I am going to get sick of him partying all the time.

    Maybe I should search for a someone who won't get drunk, who won't party with my ex, and who prefers bj's.

    Ugh...he was hot, too.

    I was trying to make him happy sexually cuz he is freakin hot.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    ^ Im sure any guy will want a chance to take you up.. and not leave you out or be drunk 24/7. Save it for a better guy...

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilmisssunshine View Post

    The big problem in this picture is that he goes out all the time with my ex and they party and get balls to the walls drunk all the time. I start to feel unimportant and ignored.
    That does sound like a pretty big no-no, you can bet your ex is talking shit about you too.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    I bet he is too. I know he does mention me cuz hot guy told me he does.

    And hot guy and I talk about my ex. So I am sure it goes both ways.

    We have kept our fling a secret from the ex. But the night he was drunk and insulted me he was at my ex's house. I told him he is making me nervous and needs to keep his mouth shut and not cause a stir at my ex's house.

    Hot guy told me my ex doesn't care about me and that my ex has different women all the time and that on the "anal sex" night, hot guy told me my ex was out with two women that night. So I shouldn't care if he makes a scene or not.

    I wonder about his motivation and his character for going behind his friend's back and talking about his friend to me. I wonder what he says about me to my ex. I wonder why he tries to hurt me by telling me what my ex is doing.

    Wow.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    And I was gonna have anal sex.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilmisssunshine View Post
    And I was gonna have anal sex.
    It's not so bad, lots of women love it. Just save it for a guy who deserves it, this guy clearly does not.

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilmisssunshine View Post
    Hot guy told me my ex doesn't care about me and that my ex has different women all the time and that on the "anal sex" night, hot guy told me my ex was out with two women that night. So I shouldn't care if he makes a scene or not.

    I wonder about his motivation and his character for going behind his friend's back and talking about his friend to me. I wonder what he says about me to my ex. I wonder why he tries to hurt me by telling me what my ex is doing.

    Wow.
    Lots of red flags here...as you clearly are recognizing. A little distance from this situation might be good for you, don't you think?

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    Default Re: Why would a guy NOT do anal sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    This.

    Yes.... that.

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