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Thread: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

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    Dizzy Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    edited out
    Last edited by kitinboots; 01-01-2011 at 12:00 PM.

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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    First deal with breaking up with your boyfriend, or changing the relationship to work for you. If you're not happy, set both of you free. You'll be way happier in the long run. Plus, it's the honorable thing to do.
    Then, if it's more than a crush, maybe you should give it a shot? We only live once.

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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    You really need to talk to your boyfriend & explain to him how you feel. You obviously are a sentimental person, so it's not like you'd be kicking him to the curb. If you don't have feelings for him now though then that is not likely to change overnight, at least not without some help. Either he needs to up his game or you two need to just be roommates.

    Second, this bartender is obviously a sticky situation. Personally, I'd listen to your friend - she probably didn't sleep with him or she would have told you. Really, what reason would she have had to lie to you BEFORE you even liked this guy? I don't think it really even matters though, it's usually best not to get involved with people you work with - especially people you work with long-term. If anything goes sour you might have to find a new club, which could be a pain.

    Work out your BF situation so he isn't your BF, then go find yourself a new crush - one OUTSIDE the club.
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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    Are you sure this isnt just a phrase you're going through since "your sick of your boyfriend" in a way. You need to first focus on your relationship with him and dicuss it with him. See whether you two should stick together or break up. You can always break up on netural level (if it works out like that) and stay roommates, until he has enough money to move on. You need to figure out what really the issue is.. You dont seem happy that he's there 24/7, but you can work, hang out etc that doesnt include him and maybe you coming home will be a happier you?

    I tihnk the liking of a co-worker is a bad thing.. seems like it cause more stress and you two will need really good communication. Would you consider swtiching clubs just in cause he goes jealousy or doesnt seem too happy with seeing you work ? Would you be comfortable seeing other girls flirt with him all the time etc? I think you should leave as a crush.. and leave him as "family" of the club not a lover.

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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    Work out your BF situation so he isn't your BF, then go find yourself a new crush - one OUTSIDE the club.
    Yeah I can already tell from the OP, working together with the new crush is going to be a problem if it goes any further. Almost always a bad idea to date at work, especially in a stripclub where you are rubbing on guys all night, and the girls are rubbing on him.
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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    I agree with everyone else. In my experience 90% of the time its better to keep a crush as a crush anyway. Everyone day dreams and the grass is always greener on the other side.

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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    I'm going through something similar. I have a bf and a crush on someone who I shouldn't (and it would be shitting where I eat if I was to pursue him).

    Basically, if I'm having these feeling of lust for other people there is something wrong with my current relationship. Especially since I'm easily frustrated with my bf more and more often. I think the relationship with your bf is over, but pursuing the bartender... well personally I would distance myself from the club so that way you don't have the chance of creating drama where you work.
    Goodbye Seattle Lusty Lady, where every Miss is a Hit, and every Hit is Missed. 1985-2010.

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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    there a saying already made for this.

    Don't shit where you eat.

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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    Well last night I told my boyfriend I'm going to go stay with some friends. We've not actually broken up, but we're moving that way.
    I haven't acted on my crush, and I won't until I'm out of my relationship, but who knows if I'll even have the opportunity. Since I couldn't tell any of the girls at work about this crush, one of my friends kissed him when they were both drunk last night. I don't know what will happen there (she has a guy in Australia) but anyway, Hello heartache!

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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    It can get crazy if you try to turn it into a real relationship, but it's definitely fun when you hook-up nothing better than getting it on at work!

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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    edit again
    Last edited by kitinboots; 01-01-2011 at 12:01 PM.

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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    Quote Originally Posted by K Sweet View Post
    I'm going through something similar. I have a bf and a crush on someone who I shouldn't (and it would be shitting where I eat if I was to pursue him).

    Basically, if I'm having these feeling of lust for other people there is something wrong with my current relationship. Especially since I'm easily frustrated with my bf more and more often. I think the relationship with your bf is over, but pursuing the bartender... well personally I would distance myself from the club so that way you don't have the chance of creating drama where you work.
    This is not necessarily true. We are human. Just because you crush on someone doesnt mean there is something wrong with your relationship. (You would know if there is actually a problem in yours). Im just saying if people get feelings for other people it doesnt mean there is a major problem, it could be hormonal driven for example.

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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    Quote Originally Posted by kitinboots View Post
    edited out
    looks like boyfriend found your thread

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    Default Re: Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....

    Im still of the opinion that if someone is ready to leave thier relationship for another, there were probably already some problems. Im sure we've all had crushes during a relationship but if someone is feeling constrained and wants to pursue other people (and they are not non-monogamous), its time to reevaluate the relationship. But the grass is always greener on the other side.
    Goodbye Seattle Lusty Lady, where every Miss is a Hit, and every Hit is Missed. 1985-2010.

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