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Thread: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

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    Default Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Sorry if this has been posted before or elsewhere on the board, but is anyone hiding the dancing from your partner? Just curious about how you're getting away with it. What do they think you're doing while you're stripping?

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    No, I don't hide shit from my live in partner because lying is wrong and anyone who feels the need to deceive their partner about what they're doing probably shouldn't be in a relationship anyways. And if their partner has a shitfit about them dancing they probably need to reevaluate the relationship.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    I can see maybe not mentioning it to your grandma or grandpa, (they don't ask my job and I don't bring it up) but when it comes to someone that you are living with:
    LYING IS NOT COOL AND IT IS FUCKING WRONG! GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS AND GROW THE FUCK UP! TELL THEM WHAT YOU ARE DOING INSTEAD OF SNEAKING AROUND LIKE A FUCKING COWARD!!!!!!

    I am sick of seeing these fucking posts about "How do I keep it from my boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/domestic partner/wife?"


    LIARS ALWAYS GET CAUGHT IN THE END AND WHEN YOU DO GET CAUGHT YOU WILL FEEL ABOUT 3 INCHES TALL AND LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT TRUST ME

    sorry for the rant
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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    I have heard stories of ladies in that sort of situation. My question is for people living through something like that. I don't condone lying either, but I think that I am entitled to ask whatever I please. If the subject matter bothers you, simply role your eyes and avoid the thread.

    I've seen posts on this board with more outrageous subjects than this. Please save the morality lectures for the people that you know personally or at least for a message board whose members aren't taking their clothes off for money.

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Quote Originally Posted by StormyKnight View Post
    I've seen posts on this board with more outrageous subjects than this. Please save the morality lectures for the people that you know personally or at least for a message board whose members aren't taking their clothes off for money.
    wow.
    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    If some baristas started giving blowjobs along with their lattes, those not willing to do that would have a hard time getting custom. Same. Deal.

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Quote Originally Posted by StormyKnight View Post
    I have heard stories of ladies in that sort of situation. My question is for people living through something like that. I don't condone lying either, but I think that I am entitled to ask whatever I please. If the subject matter bothers you, simply role your eyes and avoid the thread.

    I've seen posts on this board with more outrageous subjects than this. Please save the morality lectures for the people that you know personally or at least for a message board whose members aren't taking their clothes off for money.


    Who r u to judge us when u r considering dancing urself? I understand u feel the need to hide the occupation from ur partner and thats ur deal. But u shouldnt attack members on this board who r just giving their honest opinion. With the opinion of dancers as u have already stated in ur quoted post here u rnt going to find many people who r going to want to support u here. Some people here may hate liars but that is their right and their opinion. If u dont want other peoples' opinions quite simply dont post here. Honestly I may not always want to hear the replys I get here but if I didnt want to at least listen to others and attempt to see where they r coming from then I also shouldnt be posting threads on SW.

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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Quote Originally Posted by StormyKnight View Post
    I have heard stories of ladies in that sort of situation. My question is for people living through something like that. I don't condone lying either, but I think that I am entitled to ask whatever I please. If the subject matter bothers you, simply role your eyes and avoid the thread.

    I've seen posts on this board with more outrageous subjects than this. Please save the morality lectures for the people that you know personally or at least for a message board whose members aren't taking their clothes off for money.
    Way to immediately mark yourself as a troll.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    LYING IS NOT COOL AND IT IS ******* WRONG! GROW SOME ******* BALLS AND GROW THE *** UP! TELL THEM WHAT YOU ARE DOING INSTEAD OF SNEAKING AROUND LIKE A ******* COWARD!!!!!!

    I am sick of seeing these fucking posts about "How do I keep it from my boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/domestic partner/wife?"


    LIARS ALWAYS GET CAUGHT IN THE END.

    sorry for the rant

    This is all true. Tempest is starting to sound like me about this.

    If your living situation is so bad that you can't be honest about what you do, then it's time to get out! Put your stuff in storage, stay with a friend, contact a church or shelter for help. If you aren't in a bad situation & you just want to do it but you can't be honest... then you are being selfish. I'm all for women putting their career's first, as I always say:

    Your career will never: lie, cheat, steal, beat you, or talk down to you... only people will.

    However, if you feel like you need to do one of the things above in order to work & be happy then its time to either have a serious talk with your significant other or else move on.

    Its not fair for you to put your SO into a position where he/she could potentially be embarrassed (friend/family sees you or finds out & confronts him about it) or hurt because you were selfish, nor is it fair to you to NEED to sneak around... so don't.
    Don't you ever sleep?
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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Quote Originally Posted by StormyKnight View Post
    I have heard stories of ladies in that sort of situation. My question is for people living through something like that. I don't condone lying either, but I think that I am entitled to ask whatever I please. If the subject matter bothers you, simply role your eyes and avoid the thread.

    I've seen posts on this board with more outrageous subjects than this. Please save the morality lectures for the people that you know personally or at least for a message board whose members aren't taking their clothes off for money.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvia View Post
    Way to immediately mark yourself as a troll.
    LOL my sentiments exactly.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    This is all true. Tempest is starting to sound like me about this.

    If your living situation is so bad that you can't be honest about what you do, then it's time to get out! Put your stuff in storage, stay with a friend, contact a church or shelter for help. If you aren't in a bad situation & you just want to do it but you can't be honest... then you are being selfish. I'm all for women putting their career's first, as I always say:

    Your career will never: lie, cheat, steal, beat you, or talk down to you... only people will.

    However, if you feel like you need to do one of the things above in order to work & be happy then its time to either have a serious talk with your significant other or else move on.

    Its not fair for you to put your SO into a position where he/she could potentially be embarrassed (friend/family sees you or finds out & confronts him about it) or hurt because you were selfish, nor is it fair to you to NEED to sneak around... so don't.

    I do swear alot don"t I
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    ^^^ LOL Well, I just have a very tame way of putting things.
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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Well ... if you are not a troll and you a really looking for advice .... I did for a few weekends initally . I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to dance as an ongoing thing or whether I wanted to just quickly earn some money and since my bf wasn't supportive of the whole thing .... I did something like 8-9 shifts without telling him first. Though I DID try to tell ( I told him I was scouting clubs ect. and if he would have been rational about it .... well .... then I would have told him ).
    For the logistics, I was traveling heavily with my other job and I just added a few days onto a few trips. If you don't travel heavily already .... you'll just have to come up with something you are " doing " between 6a.m.-2a.m.
    I would NOT recommend doing this anyway ! It's VERY STRESSFUL and not worth it to try to hide.
    But ... if you DO this ... I would recommend saying you are working ( at something ) because if you are out having "fun " ( supposedly ) and you act totally exhausted it will unravel anyway.

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    I think you should tell him, became one with his disapproval, or do it and break up with him.. But ethier way tell him or discuss it with him. I think its wrong to hide/lie such a thing. I have lied about stripping in the start, and I do regret it. It takes good trust and communication from both people. He'll either take it good, or he'll take it like an average joe.

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Quote Originally Posted by shift_6x View Post
    Who r u to judge us when u r considering dancing urself? I understand u feel the need to hide the occupation from ur partner and thats ur deal. But u shouldnt attack members on this board who r just giving their honest opinion. With the opinion of dancers as u have already stated in ur quoted post here u rnt going to find many people who r going to want to support u here. Some people here may hate liars but that is their right and their opinion. If u dont want other peoples' opinions quite simply dont post here. Honestly I may not always want to hear the replys I get here but if I didnt want to at least listen to others and attempt to see where they r coming from then I also shouldnt be posting threads on SW.
    Well here's the thing, I'm not judging. That WOULD be pretty stupid if I'm on here trying to "put my foot in the door," so let me go ahead and apologize if I've offended anyone. However, I don't take well to people blowing up when I'm just asking a question. If you hate liars and you want to express that it's fine, but this is supposed to be the newbie board, a place where people are likely to ask the same questions over and over. I can understand how as a long-time member you'd get sick and tired of the same questions, but it doesn't feel like a welcoming community when people respond like that.

    "But u shouldnt attack members on this board who r just giving their honest opinion." ? -How about you shouldn't attack newbie members on this board who are just asking a question.

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Having danced and hidden it from a partner it is incredibly stressful, and to be honest, it sucks. I had to travel 5 hours to dance in another club to be sure i wouldnt get caught with my pants down (literally!) and had to lie my ass off about my whereabouts the entire time. It wasnt pleasant but i was desperate for money and it was (at the time) the only way to get some very quickly.

    Its not nice and the travelling sucked, but if you are determined to do it then the only advice i can give you is to travel a long way away to do it, make sure you have a plausible story when they call you at 3am and you cant answer because you're at work (''i was asleep'' didnt work for me) and make sure you are ok with lying to someone you love. At the time it was the end of a really difficult relationship for me and i needed the money to ''escape'' from a crappy situation.
    ''I love fake boobs''
    ''They're not fake! I grew them myself!''

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    I'm "roleing" my eyes right now. I'm not gonna worry about it. Whether a lie gets found out 2 weeks or 2 years later it's gonna go up your ass with no lube and then that's when everyone comes crying. Boo-hoo. Let em make their bed and "lie" in it.

    I got better shit to do like count my pile of cash.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Quote Originally Posted by StormyKnight View Post
    Well here's the thing, I'm not judging. That WOULD be pretty stupid if I'm on here trying to "put my foot in the door," so let me go ahead and apologize if I've offended anyone. However, I don't take well to people blowing up when I'm just asking a question. If you hate liars and you want to express that it's fine, but this is supposed to be the newbie board, a place where people are likely to ask the same questions over and over. I can understand how as a long-time member you'd get sick and tired of the same questions, but it doesn't feel like a welcoming community when people respond like that.

    "But u shouldnt attack members on this board who r just giving their honest opinion." ? -How about you shouldn't attack newbie members on this board who are just asking a question.
    We aren't trying to rain on your parade, rather give the best advice possible. For example, if a 16-18 year old said to you "I want to buy a sports car, which one should I get?", I would hope that rather than simply telling them which is the best sports car, that you would ALSO point out the reasons why buying a sports car at that age may not be a good idea. The interest rate for someone with next to no credit would be extremely high (on a car that is already expensive), since they are young the insurance company will rake them over the coals for having a sports car, & they are more likely to get a ticket if pulled over by a cop. It comes down to the fact that sometimes its good to hear full reasoning rather than just limiting things to what you want to hear, but in the end know that the choice you make is still up to you.
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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Stormy,

    We're a bunch of loud mouth bitches with strong opinions around here. It's best you know that now so you can either accept it or move on. But please don't imply that we can't have a sense of morality just because we're sex workers. That attitude will not be welcomed here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvia View Post
    Stormy,

    We're a bunch of loud mouth bitches with strong opinions around here. It's best you know that now so you can either accept it or move on. But please don't imply that we can't have a sense of morality just because we're sex workers. That attitude will not be welcomed here.

    Gahhhh I WILL ONE DAY FIND THE THANK FUNCTION!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Elvia! Let little Stormy make her bed and "lie" in it. We have more important things to do like chasing that feria. And we chase ours with a clear conscience.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Your a grown women.. You don't need to hide it and you don't need to make it known. If they ask you tell the truth. I told my mate and he doesn't believe it to happen or want it to happen. Its my body he can't handle it he can fuck off. I'm not hurting myself and I'm not having sex with other people, and I feel great about it. Some people can't handle it, but it doesn't make it your fault only theirs.

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    You can lie all you want. But you WILL be found out. It's inevitable. It's one of the laws of the universe. Like, if you wear your brand new white designer jeans you paid retail for during your period, your tampon WILL leak. It's just how it goes. And this isn't like saying you like someone's new haircut when it makes them look like a moron, or saying you went to class when you decided to sleep in instead. This is a pretty big deal. And your actions reflect badly on all of us; it just encourages the stereotype that we're all liars and cheaters.

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    I have every intention of telling everyone I know that I'm doing promo work at the clubs, that way the hours can change - late nights are acceptable and no one can stop by where you "work" to find out you're not there. My boyfriend and I haven't been dating long and he's away on business for the next month...I will tell him once he's back. I feel the need to talk to him and feel him out a bit before I do let him know but if I decide to keep dancing (tomorrow I'm going to an amateur night and it will be my first time on stage!) then I'll let him know. Good luck girl.

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    Wow, what a fun thread

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    I worked with a girl who told her bf she was working 3rd shift at a hospital several miles away from the club, she would park her car there & take a taxi to work. She managed for almost 6 months, until . . . guess who came into the club with some of his pals for a bachelor party while she was on stage naked, rubbing her boobs in some guy's face for a dollar? Yep. He dumped her right then & there, asking "If you lied about this, what else have you lied to me about?"

    IMHO, honesty is always the best policy, unless you really want to be branded a liar.
    **Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...usually on a broomstick. We are flexible like that.**

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    Default Re: Hiding it from your live-in partner...

    You will get caught. Dancing is not as easy to hide as you may initially think. It doesn't have to be a relationship ender, but if you are just beginning to dance and have a live-in boyfriend I doubt you will ever get him to support you in this and that is something I completely understand. It can be an incredibly emasculating decision to a boyfriend and you have to accept that. That said, you have 2 options. Lose the boyfriend and embark on a potentially lucrative and empowering dancing career or keep the boyfriend and the emotional love and support he hopefully provides you and find a way to earn the extra income you desire that he will support.

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