Results 1 to 19 of 19

Thread: After sex

  1. #1
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    1,255
    Thanks
    122
    Thanked 467 Times in 250 Posts

    Default After sex

    So I had/have a crush on a bartender at work. I slept with him on New Years, and since then I've made the biggest effort for non-awkwardness. Except, I found out last night that everyone at work knows. Not sure how, since I didn't tell anyone, and he says he didn't.
    Not the biggest problem.
    But I actually really like the guy, and I don't know what to do. We work together, he's hot, I'l hot (I assume) and there must be some attraction or we wouldn't have slept together. Its not awkward at work but we're still flirting like before.
    I just really want him to want me as me, not just for sex, and in a place where he sees me naked everyday I don't know how to seduce him...

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    79
    Thanks
    54
    Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: After sex

    Maybe just tell him, shamelessly even? Like you said, the physical mystery is gone. I would make my dance act more badass and entertaining if I wanted to impress someone and I worked around them as a dancer. charisma ... charm him get him out on a date ... maybe at home with a really good home cooked wine and dine thing? if you let him see other sides of you (nonsexual) I would imagine that could broaden his view of you ... guys have two heads remember.

  3. #3
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    2,447
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 1,534 Times in 805 Posts

    Default Re: After sex

    How did you find out everyone knows? You should ask around... Has he denied or made the "remours" true to other co-workers? I would be pretty worried if he blatted it out.

    Anyway... Did you see him OTC? Do you guys call, msg, txt, talk OTC? Have you taken it OTC?
    Consider the fact, that he may just wanted sex with NSA. I would strongly suggest to keep it professional at work. Ive known co-workers to date, and they kept it very hidden... VERY hidden. If you are considering furthering this guy... take in mind, another club could be in option of working.

    If you have his number, or when at work, when flirting strike up a conversation, ask him out to a dinner to get to know each other better. Coffee, drinks or something after work, or on days off.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Kisca For This Useful Post:


  5. #4
    God/dess ManyRoses's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    3,103
    Thanks
    1,297
    Thanked 7,598 Times in 1,955 Posts
    Blog Entries
    8
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: After sex

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post

    Consider the fact, that he may just wanted sex with NSA. I would strongly suggest to keep it professional at work. Ive known co-workers to date, and they kept it very hidden... VERY hidden. If you are considering furthering this guy... take in mind, another club could be in option of working.

    If you have his number, or when at work, when flirting strike up a conversation, ask him out to a dinner to get to know each other better. Coffee, drinks or something after work, or on days off.
    x2!

    Don't shit where you eat....trust me - it never ends well!

    Does he just flirt with you, or with everyone? How did you leave it after the initial hookup - did you/he stay over? Did you discuss seeing each other again?

    It all really depends on how much you already see him/contact him. If it is just at work, and only verbal, you might want to find some even to invite him to (casual, that he might like too), but if you already see each other OTC on a semi-regular basis, just talk to him!

    I'd also be a little hesitant to just barrel up and declare your lust unless you really trust him - he says he didn't tell anyone about your encounter, but if he did, then he may well be the type to turn you down and then tell everyone that you are madly in love with him....hopefully he's lovely and things work out (and you or he can work elsewhere), but always be careful that you don't make it difficult to go to work!
    I take cash, debit or credit. I just don't take shit.


    OnlyFans.com/ScarlettMoore

    Follow me on twitter! @MissScarlettM

    Hear me ramble about random things:

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ManyRoses For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    1,255
    Thanks
    122
    Thanked 467 Times in 250 Posts

    Default Re: After sex

    Our security guy dropped him off at his house when I was waiting outside, so I'm not surprised everyone found out.
    I do see him outside the club, but never alone. A bunch of us from work are all going for dinner tonight and I'm guessing he'll be there. We keep nearly making plans to go skiing, but not in a dating kind of way.
    Since I confronted him about everyone fnding out about us sleeping together, I think he thinks I'm embarrassed by it, even though he asked if I minded that everyone knew and I said no.
    I also think that since I'm so fresh out of a long term relationship he thinks he's just rebound sex.

  8. #6
    God/dess
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,142
    Thanks
    1,158
    Thanked 1,112 Times in 673 Posts

    Default Re: After sex

    I think you should just play it cool so you don't get hurt if he's just after NSA sex,... but you can mention your interest in a new movie that just came out, or a new trendy bar, etc.,... to give him a perfect opportunity to asks you out - if he wants to.

    If you want to be a little more daring, you can casually and nonchalantly mention that he is a good kisser. This puts the ball in his court, without sticking your neck out. If he likes you, he will be very flattered by this and want/try to kiss you again. But, if he is primarily interested in NSA sex, he will perceive the comment as a "neg" because the the compliment was only on the kissing and not the sex.

    Whatever else you do, don't sleep with him again, until after a few dates (and a lot of sexual tension), so he doesn't get the impression that you're just his fuck-buddy. Tell him New Year's was special, but that he has to romance you to get back in your pants.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to jack0177057 For This Useful Post:


  10. #7
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: After sex

    1. He does not respect you. He is obviously the one telling everyone at work about it.

    2. NEVER EVER again have sex with someone from work! Especially those who work in strip clubs!!

    3. You are probably not the first one at work he slept with and prob won't be the last.

    4. Let's be realistic....If you wanted him to like you for you, you shouldn't of slept with him before he got to know you....cuz right about now it is too late.

    5. Just drop it. Save the drama for his momma, save the awkwardness for the next one he sleeps with, stop trying to convince yourself this will work, AND STOP FLIRTING WITH HIM. Save yourself while you still have the chance. Just drop it.

  11. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to JoJoX For This Useful Post:


  12. #8
    Member jamsaugustine's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2012
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: After sex

    If sex are completed than most people going on long rest. In sex before I just really want him to want sex me and not just for sex but a place where he sees me naked everyday I don't know how to seduce him.

  13. #9
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    SW Counter Troll HQ
    Posts
    5,582
    Thanks
    1,589
    Thanked 1,674 Times in 1,043 Posts
    Blog Entries
    13
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: After sex

    WTF Bot?

  14. #10
    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Look behind you....
    Posts
    3,406
    Thanks
    5,155
    Thanked 4,132 Times in 1,638 Posts

    Default Re: After sex

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    1. He does not respect you. He is obviously the one telling everyone at work about it.

    2. NEVER EVER again have sex with someone from work! Especially those who work in strip clubs!!

    3. You are probably not the first one at work he slept with and prob won't be the last.

    4. Let's be realistic....If you wanted him to like you for you, you shouldn't of slept with him before he got to know you....cuz right about now it is too late.

    5. Just drop it. Save the drama for his momma, save the awkwardness for the next one he sleeps with, stop trying to convince yourself this will work, AND STOP FLIRTING WITH HIM. Save yourself while you still have the chance. Just drop it.
    Please read http://www.amazon.com/Why-Men-Marry-.../dp/074327637X and http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss...ripbooks%2C444 and set yourself up right for the next guy who you want a relationship with, I'm afraid I agree with JOJO. The positive is that now you've got the info you can make better choices next time.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Flickdreams For This Useful Post:


  16. #11
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Location
    In your nightmares...
    Posts
    4,861
    Thanks
    1,334
    Thanked 2,291 Times in 1,133 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: After sex

    Honey, I'm going to warn you off this in the strongest way possible. No good comes from this. Please quit while you're ahead.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

  17. #12
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    4,570
    Thanks
    4,406
    Thanked 7,481 Times in 2,715 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: After sex

    Quote Originally Posted by kitinboots View Post
    I also think that since I'm so fresh out of a long term relationship he thinks he's just rebound sex.
    Doubtful. I suspect that he's the one playing the field here. Trust me when I say that he knows that you like him. Not only was sleeping with him a pretty good clue, but there are dozens of other non-verbal cues that give it away, especially if the two of you are still flirting with each other. He's just not in the same place that you are. I'm not saying that he doesn't like you, but I doubt that you are the only one night stand he's had recently.

    To him this is probably all just a big game. If he had any genuine feelings for you, he would have kept his trap shut and protected your rep.

    Idk, but I honestly believe that you'll be in for nothing but pain if you chase after him.

    In any event, good luck with all of this.

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to rickdugan For This Useful Post:


  19. #13
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    6,948
    Thanks
    2,845
    Thanked 5,526 Times in 3,113 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: After sex

    Quote Originally Posted by jamsaugustine View Post
    If sex are completed than most people going on long rest. In sex before I just really want him to want sex me and not just for sex but a place where he sees me naked everyday I don't know how to seduce him.
    Exactly right!

  20. #14
    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Edmonton
    Posts
    1,668
    Thanks
    2,969
    Thanked 4,552 Times in 1,250 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: After sex

    Yeah, the problem with sleeping with somebody from work is everybody always knows- it gets out somehow.

    New years was a while ago now. If he was interested in something more than NSA sex, pretty sure he would have said stuff by now. If you guys don't even really talk otc, kinda a bad sign there.

  21. #15
    Veteran Member missykrissy's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    425
    Thanks
    1,850
    Thanked 552 Times in 219 Posts

    Default Re: After sex

    My 2 pennies...
    I think he's the one who told people. Guys tend to do this. Especially if they don't respect the girl and are not interested in a relationship.
    I think men KNOW that women who sleep with them want a relationship. This is such basic common sense. I know there's a lot of advice out there about shy guys and women stepping up to let a guy know you're interested blah blah, but if letting him get it in doesn't get the message across, nothing will.
    Also I hold the controversial opinion that men and women are different and everyone knows it. Men know perfectly well that if you're wasting your time on them it's because you're hoping a relationship grows. If he's not making it happen, just gather up your pride & move on.

  22. The Following User Says Thank You to missykrissy For This Useful Post:


  23. #16
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: After sex

    This is an old thread, over a year old and I wonder what the update is. I agree she shouldn't have slept with him and that he was the one telling others. Unfortunately many guys think of strippers as sex partners and nothing more and when girls sleep with them they reinforce this belief. I have been a victim of this belief myself and after that I avoided men who I met in my stripping career.

  24. #17
    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Look behind you....
    Posts
    3,406
    Thanks
    5,155
    Thanked 4,132 Times in 1,638 Posts

    Default Re: After sex

    Its an old thread but an acitve member- Kellydancer, check out the resurrected threads 05' featuring Bridget, I responded to one about heel height the other day- where are people finding them!
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




  25. #18
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    SW Counter Troll HQ
    Posts
    5,582
    Thanks
    1,589
    Thanked 1,674 Times in 1,043 Posts
    Blog Entries
    13
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: After sex

    From the "Similar Threads" bar further down the Page.

  26. #19
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    1,255
    Thanks
    122
    Thanked 467 Times in 250 Posts

    Default Re: After sex

    Haha yes I'm still here, but rarely since I quit dancing 2 months ago. In the above situation you were all right, I didn't need to be putting myself in that situation. I actually got over it pretty quickly, as I think this was something of a rebound. We continued working together and hanging out in a group as normal so all awkwardness/weirdness faded and I think everyone has forgotten about it now. I consider it just another learning experience.

Similar Threads

  1. Fun Posts About Trading for SEX, yes SEX
    By threlayer in forum Member Boards
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-05-2008, 07:48 PM
  2. Replies: 27
    Last Post: 11-19-2007, 08:37 PM
  3. Replies: 25
    Last Post: 05-26-2007, 01:10 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •