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    Default requesting private dances OTC

    dancers,do you do, or would you do private dances for a regular customer? how long would you have to have known him for, how much would he need to spend and how could he bring it up?
    Last edited by Rookie2010; 01-16-2011 at 01:08 AM.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Numerous issues here. One being what amount of money she usually goes home with. If you drop 4-500 on her, how much does the club take from it? How much does she earn the rest of the night after you are gone? You can't expect her to make less for OTC than she would make if you saw her in the club.

    Assuming 500 would be a good night for her, then that is what you should be willing to pay. I have a decent idea of what is an average night for the ladies is at the club I frequent. I offer that amount for OTC. We hang out, have drinks,maybe watch tv or a movie, chat and towards the end of the evening she dances. Or maybe at halftime if she likes football ! Shifts at the club are usually 9-2 and we set it up so she is working ''less'' maybe 8-12 and she gets home early. Ladies here will probably say it should be ''x'' amount per hour but if both parties agree to the arrangement for a set amount; that is what is important.

    More to the point. Mention it ONCE. Leave the offer on the table for her to take you up on if she decides she wants to. Mention NO SEX....and that it is by HER rules. Do not dwell on it....put the idea in her head and let her act on it if she feels comfortable. She should know the benefits of the arrangement. No hustling, club doesn't take a cut of the money, home early. She must also take into consideration the risks. Will you keep it to yourself? Are you sincere in saying ''no sex''? Could possibly give up big payday at club. Could lose her job. Her significant other may freak if he finds out. Simply stated...discuss it in person...put the idea in her head and respect her decision.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    is this something that definitely needs to be talked about directly in person?
    Last edited by Rookie2010; 01-16-2011 at 01:08 AM.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Rookie2010 View Post
    i cannot even put my hand on her calf without someone coming in and interupting the VIP dances (which really sucks) to tell me to watch my hands..lol. and she has no problem at all with 2-way contact, we even went to simply hold hands and this freakin' guy came barging in and told me to watch it..come on man, really?
    The last time this happened to me I quit going into the club for 15 months. Seemed the club started losing business and they fired the guy causing all the trouble in VIP. I personally wouldn't request OTC unless your favorite brings up the subject, then go from there. Good luck.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    You certainly can't expect her to do it for less than what she goes home with after your visit to the club. Where I go, if I spent 500 on dances in VIP, she would realize about 350 of it after paying the club and before tipping dj and bouncer. So maybe she would end up with 325. Under those circumstances, I would offer 400 or even the same 500 you would have spent. She therefore ends up with the same or more.

    She has alot to risk....so put the idea in her head and respect the decision. When I have done this, they are either comfortable with the idea or not. It is not something you can 'talk them into'. I have had 'her rules' be anything from club rules to no rules. And rules may change as visits continue. Under these OTC circumstances, it is her comfort level that is important. Not your wants or desires.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    I'd say just tell her you're not interested in doing dances in the club under those circumstances. I'm sure she's very well aware that the option of OTC exists, dances or otherwise. If she's willing to do it, she'll offer.
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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    I think that your post was very respectful and well articulated - if you can approach the subject with her in the same way, I don't see a problem. I would absolutely offer her the same amount that you would pay ITC for OTC, and for the same or less time - consider the extra that would normally be going to the house as a fee for the risks that she is taking.

    I would definitely stress that you do not want anything more than what you used to do before this guy came in, and I think that bringing it up once is enough. If you keep asking, she might get annoyed with it.

    I personally do not dance OTC, but whenever I have been asked for dancing or extras OTC, if it is asked in a respectful manner, I am never offended at all. When it is asked in a rude manner (as though it is assumed that I will do that for a certain price, or that the asker "knows how it works" or some such condescending bollocks) it invariably bugs me. Be polite, and I'm sure it'll be fine!
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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Does the club have a CR? I know a lot of people try to stay out of it, but its worth the privacy. You might not get the level of privacy you are looking for on the first time, but coming back a second and getting the same hostess that you tipped well should make it happen.

    What I would do in that situation is just tell her you'd like to see her if she can come in on a day that the bouncer/dj wont be there, or that she could always dance OTC for you and you'd pay the same. I'd be too worried about making her feel uncomfortable by asking for the OTC as the only option.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Rookie2010 View Post
    so i'm wondering how can i bring up the conversation of possibly getting her to perform privately for me with no sexual intent on my part, is there a way i can bring it up, i guess i'm just trying to find out the best way to bring it up, i have her email i was thinking of asking her but i don't know what to say, i don't want her to think i want her to escort, just strictly dances
    Emailing her about it isnt a bad idea. That way she wouldnt feel like she has to decide right away and it would give her some time to think about it. Or you could try bringing it up the next time your interrupted? Deffinately make sure she knows you dont want any kind of sex, just dances. From your post, it seems like shes pretty comfortable with you..I would just go for it and ask

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    It certainly can't hurt to ask, since it seems that the new floater is ruining future fun for you two. Whenever I've asked a dancer about possible OTC fun, I've brought it up by asking if she has ever considered private dancing so that she can keep all of the money herself. Her reaction to this will tell you alot. She might either shudder and say "no way!", or she might consider it with someone she trusts.

    The dancer you approach has to REALLY feel safe and trust that you're not really an ax-wielding maniac once outside the club. Even if you stress that there will be NO sex involved, she may not believe you, and might feel that if things got out of hand, she would not have the big ugly bouncers there to watch out for her. It's definitely a risk for her.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    i wonder if anyone else thinks i should ask her via email instead of in person? I figure she can read the email and if she's not interested it will never be mentioned again.. any ideas?
    Last edited by Rookie2010; 01-16-2011 at 01:09 AM.

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    Lightbulb Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Make sure you tell her not to bring her bouncer boyfriend. You should also clean your place. You could always rent a room. That might make her feel safer.
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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    I would personally bring it up in person. She can better judge your sincerity and be able to discuss any issues. With an email, you would still end up having to discuss it in person at some point.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    ^ True, but at least she wouldnt feel pressured to answer right then. She could give it some thought before hand then later come at him with her questions/concerns. Although if you ask in person, you can gage her reaction better.

    Where are you planning on doing all of this? Your house? A room your renting? You should figure all this out before you bring it up.. Make sure the whole situation makes her feel as safe as possible.
    Im still not sure if I would do something like this or not. The situation would have to be just right..and even then its so risky.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Rookie2010 View Post
    Thank everyone, i think i got an idea of how ill say it, just be polite and put it out there respectfully with no pressure

    i wonder if anyone else thinks i should ask her via email instead of in person? I figure she can read the email and if she's not interested it will never be mentioned again.. any ideas?
    I think this should be in person, not email. Just drop it into conversation. The next time you get interrupted in VIP, just say "this would be a lot more fun somewhere more private". Watch her reaction to that comment and then follow with "another plus, is you get to skip the house fee and tipout". I absolutely agree with the earlier comment to just mention it once, and let it marinate for awhile. If she's interested, she'll let you know.

    The other caution for you is that she may not be interested or comfortable with the idea, but is hesitant to give you a clear "no thanks" because she may fear losing you as a customer. You have to decide whether you want to continue seeing her ITC, even if the OTC doesn't happen, and don't let the vague possibility of an OTC somewhere in the future keep stringing you along. Been there, done that.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by azdd View Post
    I think this should be in person, not email. Just drop it into conversation. The next time you get interrupted in VIP, just say "this would be a lot more fun somewhere more private". Watch her reaction to that comment and then follow with "another plus, is you get to skip the house fee and tipout". I absolutely agree with the earlier comment to just mention it once, and let it marinate for awhile. If she's interested, she'll let you know.
    i think that might be a good way to bring it up..
    Thanks i will bring it up in person, i think it's hard to be sincere like Raider said in an email
    Last edited by Rookie2010; 01-16-2011 at 01:09 AM.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    I agree with ManyRoses, your offer certainly seems fair and respectable. I personally would turn it down nonetheless because a) this could get me fired if they found out and b) safety risks.

    Perhaps let her know she can bring a female friend/dancer buddy with her (and offer to pay her for her time as well) or a paid bouncer not affiliated with the club and not a boyfriend who would simply be in the next room for her piece of mind. Offer her at least $500 + expenses, you might be her best customer the night she works but probably not her only one, respect the fact if she can only do one niht a week she needs to make the most of it.

    As long as you're not pushy and stress that nothing would be going on that you haven't done previously, you just don't like the new bouncer ruining the mood for you she should at least seriously consider it. Don't be offended or upset if she declines, some girls it's just a personal choice to not do even non-sex OTC as it's simply out of their comfort zone.

    Good luck.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    No, no, no. Think you misunderstood my post. We dont go out for drinks and movie. Too much like a date and too far from business arrangement you currently have. Drinks, chat, movie etc are all at my place before the 'entertaining'.

    Ok....while I am sure you are trying to be considerate of her; don't over think this. Throw the idea out there next time you are bothered by the bouncer. Be sincere, answer any concerns she has. If she starts asking questions about it, at least you know she is considering it.

    As the ladies have said, it is not something all would even consider. She needs to be able to trust you will keep it to yourself. That you aren't looking for more. That it won't cause issue in any relationship she might be in.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by Raider View Post
    No, no, no. Think you misunderstood my post. We dont go out for drinks and movie. Too much like a date and too far from business arrangement you currently have. Drinks, chat, movie etc are all at my place before the 'entertaining'.

    Ok....while I am sure you are trying to be considerate of her; don't over think this. Throw the idea out there next time you are bothered by the bouncer. Be sincere, answer any concerns she has. If she starts asking questions about it, at least you know she is considering it.

    As the ladies have said, it is not something all would even consider. She needs to be able to trust you will keep it to yourself. That you aren't looking for more. That it won't cause issue in any relationship she might be in.
    Yeah i did misunderstand but i got it now, makes sense
    thanks, i agree next time we get interupted i'll bring it up and see if she is atleast comfortable with talking about it with me and we can go from there. thanks for your advice

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    You're really overthinking this. Many Roses is right:

    I personally do not dance OTC, but whenever I have been asked for dancing or extras OTC, if it is asked in a respectful manner, I am never offended at all.
    I've never had a dancer get upset when asked about OTC offerings, even during road trips when I have little time with them in person. Just don't be crass and obnoxious about it. The girls are in the sex industry; it's not going to shock them--and if it does, you don't really want to deal with her anyway.

    You already have a rapport with her; just ask her in person in a polite fashion. After noting that she wouldn't need to pay house fees or tipouts, offer her an hourly rate that's in line with the local POP for P4P girls. Don't even mention sex; let her rule that out (or let her offer it, as the case may be). And definitely don't make it a group-date as Amareth suggested--that's utterly pointless.

    You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from asking--because your present experience at this club is pretty unacceptable by any standard.
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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Conversation could go something like this....

    I know the bouncer bothers both of us. You know I enjoy our time together so I have been thinking about alternatives. Maybe you have another one, but here's mine.....

    I know this is going to spring something on you that you may well not be ready to reply to yet. So I don't expect you to answer this.

    Tell her your alternative. She may answer or not, one way or the other.

    Tell her that this is only an alternative so you can both do exactly what you have been doing but in a better location. Say "I hope this doesn't bother you and I'm not going to pressure you for an answer. In fact I will not even bring it up again myself, so the decision is only yours."
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Just in case, make sure your bed is clean with no stains of any kind.
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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Quote Originally Posted by TinkerBall View Post
    Just in case, make sure your bed is clean with no stains of any kind.
    Honestly, I would be hesitant to do something like this at my own place at least on the first go-round. First of all you really don't know anything about this woman other than the fact that she is willing to dance for you outside of the club. Do you really want her to know where you live? I have a couple of escorts who come to my place but I have known them both for years. I would never have a new girl come to my place. Too many security issues.

    But yeah, if you do entertain make sure the place is clean and that the sheets are fresh and clean.
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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Rookie, depending upon the girl this might be difficult to pull off. She will probably be very suspicious of your motives. In fact, it is not uncommon for customers and dancers to use the term "private dances at your/my [insert location]" as a euphemism for OTC sex. Right or wrong, not many girls are going to easily believe that a guy wants to go through all of the trouble and expense of having her at his place just to get a hard-on.

    I believe that you should question your true motives as well. I read your initial post (before edits), where you lamented the bouncers for screwing up your dances, but I'm still a little confused. What is so incredibly special about her unmonitored lap dances that you would do this rather than simply moving to another girl in another club? And if it is the girl who is so special that you are willing to do this, might you be getting a little obsessed here?

    Just my
    Last edited by rickdugan; 01-17-2011 at 08:20 AM.

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    Default Re: requesting private dances OTC

    Chances are if you are a regular customer, you have developed some sort of relationship with the dancer. I don't think an open, honest conversation is ever out of the question. The worst that could happen is she says she does not like to work outside of the club, or possibly that she would prefer to have a friend come with her the first time.

    I have done private dancing after knowing a customer for a few months and developing a certain amount of mutual trust. I have never had a problem. Those I choose to continually asscoiate with are people I genuinely grow to care about. They aren't just dollar signs in my eyes, they are real people. I have met some really wonderful people. I had nights where a friend tells me to take the night off and they give me the amount I would have made at the club that night, and then actually take me out for the night. Not one of them has ever disrespected me, or tried to take advantage of the situation. I am a pretty good judge of character.

    Now, if someone I do not know or seems creepy asks me the same question, I would most likely avoid them. Its not worth the risk. You can not pay me enough to hang out with someone outside of work who I don't actually enjoy. At least in the club you can get away from someone annoying, or obnoxious, and you are in a safe atmosphere.

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