Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 15 Times in 7 Posts

    Sad Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    First let me say i've retired from dancing several times. I keep coming back every year or two when I hit hard times financially and need the extra cash (I have a full time job but I'm going to school and I'm a single mom). Normally my first night back is horrible, painful, and awkward...then after that I'm good to go and make decent money sometimes even top earner at the club.

    But this time, I'm my 2nd night in and haven't sold not even one single dance. I've NEVER had a night EVER where I didn't sell at least one dance. Not even a two for one! I made about $25 each night, and that was just stage tips averaging about $6 or $7 per stage dance. The first night I didn't even sell a drink (which has also never happened). Tonight I really did hustle my ass off and I did a little better with getting drinks, but when trying to close on dances I got a lot of the "maybe later" and "i'm good for now" and "i'm out of money" etc etc only to see them buy dances from other girls.

    I kept smiling, being friendly and playful, a little flirty, and nothing worked. I changed outfits, tried to appear busy, avoided hovering at the bar, stayed out of the dressing room unless I was freshening up, and I didn't stick around with guys that weren't interested in conversation and/or said no to dances (I only stick around for about 10-15 minutes if it's busy). I've decided to write off the first night, period. But tonight I'm very discouraged because the rest of the girls had wads of cash by the end of the night, and I was just embarrassed with myself for not even breaking $30.

    Any words of encouragement or advice would be greatly appreciated

  2. #2
    God/dess ManyRoses's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    3,103
    Thanks
    1,297
    Thanked 7,598 Times in 1,955 Posts
    Blog Entries
    8
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    Honey - that sucks! I know the feeling - when you are trying your absolute hardest, and just see other girls getting dance after dance, and you can't do a damn thing....

    It doesn't sound like there is much that I can suggest that you aren't already doing..the only thing that I find when I'm having those nights is that my heart just isn't in it, and they can tell. I notice myself using the same patter on everyone, and not really focusing on them - then I get desperate and end up so focused on closing the sale that they can smell it on me and don't want to go for a dance. Maybe try finding a new mindset? Sometimes I try to think of it as trying to be fully present - honestly trying to find a connection with every person - it becomes like a game! Or try to find other ways each person can help you - get contacts for services...these stop you focusing on the sale so much, and make the customer feel really special because you are truly focusing on who they are...

    Other than that - keep plugging away, and try not to compare yourself too much to other girls - you are breaking yourself back into it slowly, so give it a little bit of time. You know that you will end up doing really well - it might just take you a little longer this time...keep on truckin honey!!!
    I take cash, debit or credit. I just don't take shit.


    OnlyFans.com/ScarlettMoore

    Follow me on twitter! @MissScarlettM

    Hear me ramble about random things:

  3. #3
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 15 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    Thanks for the advice! Sometimes it's just good to hear that I'm not the only one that has nights like this. You are probably right, my heart just wasn't in it last night and I ended up trying to hard. I'm wondering if I was too worried about "needing the money" and being in the wrong mindset, they probably could sense that. Maybe if I psyche myself out by using some positive affirmations that take my mind off how bad I need the money it might help. I think guys just know when you're more focused on their money than on them, and it turns them off. I think bitching myself out in my head all night about not making any money and not selling dances when the other girls are banking put off a negative vibe without me even realizing it.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Dancing Queen's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked 33 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    Write a do-able goal down and keep the piece of paper in your lil purse before you dance that day. That way you will push yourself to reach it. The times I came out of retierment were trips where I had to push myself.

    I already paid for the trip out of town to dance in the out of town club. I worked 13 hours a day and saw the days check in go home for the night..and the night girls come in for their shift.

    I had my daily goals..and sometimes not until the last 3 hours did I finally make them. But I made it. Sit by that door..or in the dark somewhere were you can watch guys come in. And friggen let the guy sit down/maybe get his drink on the table..and then approach. Some guys will let ya know they are NOT ready..meaning don't even want you to hang around, I just want to be left alone.

    But otherwise ..go sit a few songs with them if its slow and then BAM..once that new song starts..say OMG..I love this song..and dance for him as if he CANNOT resist you. You have to put out that vibe of "you can't resist me."

    I know other girls at the glared at me..because I stayed on the floor the whole time, sitting by myself, watching and waiting for new guys to come in the club. But my philosphy was this..APPROACH every guys in the club. EVERY guy. If they turn me down..bounce on to the next one. One of them will connect with you.

    I introduce myself, push their chair back, and make way for my booty to sit on their lap. There is no asking! Unless he's an ass!!! Then I am a VERY affectionate. huggy and stuff like stroking their hair behind their ear. Don't ask the silly stuff like what are you doing here? IMHO....that stuff is pretty obvious. Just say cute things..you like my outfit? or omg you're here finally..Its about time!

    Whatever..you will find you're way. BUT my approach has about a 97% success rate for at LEAST getting one dance out of the guy. Most likely they ended up being multiple dances..but girl it works. And having been a traveling dancer..I know the pressure of ..holy crap..I need to leave this club with MONEY!!

    GO girl!!!!!!!!!!

    Do you like the club you're at?

  5. #5
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 15 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    Thanks for the tips DQ! I will try that tonight...trying to get in the zone before I go in. I do like the club it has potential for me to make 200 to 300 a night or more (its a truck stop joint so its hit or miss) which is good for around here. But I have to travel 75miles one way to get here so I feel pressured to make the trip count. January is always slow but its intimidating when all the other girls bank except me. I like your conversational ideas I have been doing the small talk routine and its not working for me so I will try your suggestions! I will post an update later and let you know how my night is going

    Thanks again ladies for the tips and encouragement.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Dancing Queen's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked 33 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    You'll get back in your groove. Don't compare yourself to the other girls. For all they know..you could be banking and they are not. And I'm telling you a smile WORKS..I smile sooo much and really smiles carry good vibes..and guys like good vibes.

    There can be the hottest sexiest chick that has the best fricken hair and banging body in the club. But if she looks like a crabby stuck up bitch and ....say's the "wanna dance" ....she is insecure and usually the one back in the dressing room hairspraying her hair.

    The girls that bank are one's with personality and sweet dispositions. When it comes down too it guys want to feel the connection..that they are being heard , that the attention is all about them. Because at home..for all we know..but most likely...sometimes their wives are not paying attention to them, some are going through divorce, some are just lonely. And the guys that are on the rather hefty side...I love them too. They just want to be hugged on and feel like they are the most special guy in the room. Its all about human connection..with a little sexy sassy-ness!

    You're gonna do so well! Smiles and hugs!

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Dancing Queen For This Useful Post:


  8. #7
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 15 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    IT WORKED!! I did everything you suggested and it worked! Not that I'm surprised but I'm really happy now. I brought my ipod and listened to my stripper zone music before I hit the floor and I set myself a goal of $200 and I made $165! I know that's not a lot to most girls but its about average for this area. I am so pleased with myself. I heard all the other girls bitching about not making any money tonight lol... I definitely felt like I was totally on my game and I really appeared to be in demand

    Thanks again!

  9. #8
    Senior Member LunaCera Fenella's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Western KY
    Posts
    195
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 69 Times in 32 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    Congrats on making it! Ya know... I think we were at the same club tonight. Lol.

  10. #9
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 15 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    LOL where do you work Luna?

  11. #10
    Senior Member LunaCera Fenella's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Western KY
    Posts
    195
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 69 Times in 32 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    I'm not working right now. Does your club close around midnight?

  12. #11
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 15 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    No, it closes at 3am

  13. #12
    Senior Member LunaCera Fenella's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Western KY
    Posts
    195
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 69 Times in 32 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    Okay, nope. I just didn't think there would be that many truck stop strip clubs in TN. Lol. Well still... glad you did well!

  14. #13
    Senior Member Dancing Queen's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked 33 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    Right on Diamond!!! You're so awesome. Good for you Girl...its all about whats in our mind and how we put it in to action. So HAPPY for you!

    HUGS xoxox
    DQ

  15. #14
    Veteran Member SupaByoch's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Location
    In someone's wallet
    Posts
    680
    Thanks
    160
    Thanked 907 Times in 357 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    One of the best things you can do for yourself is think positive! Don't pay attention to other girls. Don't think of how much money you need. Don't think about bills coming due or any of that crap. You should be thinking you're the sexiest bitch in the joint and any dude would be lucky to get any attention from you!

    I swear, when you're thinking of bills and needing money, or how much better the other girls appear to be doing, you project desperation and no one wants a desperate woman. But when you've got that "I'm a hot bitch" attitude, everyone wants you.

    This might sound like oversimplifying, but generally it really is just that simple.


    tessarubyxoxo: somehow i ended up on SW's homepage.... then i clicked on "forums." & i was in fucking narnia.


  16. #15
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 15 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    You're totally right!!! My attitude totally changed my whole night around, I made money off every single guy I sat with, even the one that hadn't spent a single dollar yet...and the regular that always buys dances but finally got one from me, which turned into 2 and said he wished he'd been spending his money on ME all night!!....I can't wait til next time I work to try it out again!!

  17. #16
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 15 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    Quote Originally Posted by LunaCera Fenella View Post
    Okay, nope. I just didn't think there would be that many truck stop strip clubs in TN. Lol. Well still... glad you did well!
    yeah there are quite a few up and down 65, just not all of them you can see from the interstate I stay out of Nashville so I don't have to get a permit

  18. #17
    Veteran Member anelia's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Candyland
    Posts
    241
    Thanks
    142
    Thanked 45 Times in 27 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    This is uplifting, I am happy for you. Glad you stuck with it and went back with a new game plan. $165 is nothing to sneer at, especially after a $0 and $20 nite combined. One bad night sucks, two in a row can break you!!!

    It's sooo true about being positively positive, as in, be in a truly good mood and smile at people with humanity and conviction. The game requires that we push the right buttons on people...some don't mind a grumpy dancer, most though really want someone to make them feel good and not just in a superficial way. A lot of guys are douches, but many are just human beings.

    If I'm having an off night I sometimes think of that cute lil graphic that shows a pink bunny with his ears all drooping, sad, and it says "The bunny is discouraged." People ask me what's wrong and I say "the bunny is discouraged" and they don't get it, but it makes me smile inside a little and the smile creeps outside eventually...
    "I'm teaching fools some basic rules. / I believe in the Golden Rule. The man with the gold rules. / I made a little money.
    And like the Bible says, I was enjoying the fruits of my labor. This is my comeback. This is me doing what I love to do." -- Mr. T

    "In the street I am my divine self. In the club I am a stripper, portraying a fantasy.
    That's not to say anybody can do or say anything to me but it's acting. Playing a role. That simple." -- Pure


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  19. #18
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 15 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Out of retirement (again)...need some encouragement

    this weekend wasn't so great either...it was another $160 all weekend kind of weekend for me, last night was better than tonight, it was horrible i made exactly $1 on stage all night. i sat with one guy that tipped me a couple stacks of 1's for sitting with him and right before he left he bought a 2 for 1 from me, and then said "that was the best dance I've had all night too bad you were the last instead of the first!" ***smack my head*** i HATE that line!!! but i was glad i at least didn't go home empty handed...

    i'm really having a hard time building up enough confidence to work the room hard enough to make the money the other girls do. im self conscious about my body (had a kid, so stretch marks, extra cushion, and wrinkled tummy bother me), the fact i only have 3 outfits to wear all weekend (and 2 of them are borrowed), and it seems like all the tight skinny girls get all the dances....maybe i should take off a couple weekends and work on losing a few pounds and see if that helps.

Similar Threads

  1. Could use some encouragement
    By jadelady in forum Other Work
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 04-26-2010, 09:44 AM
  2. Need some encouragement
    By halfasiangrl in forum Coming Out
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-03-2009, 06:20 PM
  3. I need encouragement..please..
    By cameron_keys in forum Body Business
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 07-08-2007, 08:37 PM
  4. Encouragement please
    By SassyMom in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 06-06-2006, 04:18 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •